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"Miss Smith, if you're headed out West," Young Joe, his face rather shocked, Miss Smith shimmied out of her dress; "My cock I've held since leavin' Schuster; An Indian chief of Chicago A sensuous Indian Sioux In the days of the old wild west, That grizzled old trapper McGraw Around 1868 in Dodge City An Indian woman, named Brenda, In a dance hall in old Carson City, On her body was written her beaux, There's a name with a note that is blunt, Tattooed on her twat were directions Bat Masterson's main claim to fame The gun slingers loved Kitty's technique. Our history sure has been blessed, I once had a summer factotum, A cowgirl way out in Wyoming That cowgirl out there in Wyoming, There once was a girl from the West A squaw took a brave to her wickiup A tolerant rancher named Stedman Pocahontas said, "Now look here, Smith, John Smith needed corn for his hominy History, written in a cave, Pocahontas kept up her poking, Pocahontas then lived all alone, The wily Englishman then smiled "Just look at those wild Indians taunt us. An Indian from London's East side, I think it is sad, but not strange, An old cowgirl, well past mid-life change, SACAGAWEA, lady of luck, Said Lewis to Clark "Mama mia!" Said both Lewis and Clark, "If you would Who'll take Susan B. Anthony's place Said an indian trader, Carruthers, In the Wild West a hooker named Sal (in Brooklyn, NY)
A Navajo maiden from Mesa A hot little cowgirl named Anna, To his squaw, said the Chief with eyes sleepy, There were two young ladies, Cheyenne "Huron," said young Dave, there's no law There once was a woman named Nell, A butch little cowgirl named Harriet A brave from around Craigellachie There was a young girl of Victoria Whenever she gives him a blow A grotesquely endowed Quebecois Oh, where have the cowboys all gone? No cowboys use condoms, I'm sure. Not cowboys? I guess they were cooks, It sound s like they were really cooking The chief of the tribe, Sitting Bill, (in praise of Bill Backe-Hansen on 70th birthday 12/15/88)
Behold, in hilarious rage, Anniversary greetings are sent, Buck Beecher, the blacksmith in Danville, Is anvil a new word for penis? An 'anvil', as real women know, He shouted, "Hey Primrose, I've got But Primrose a glance at him shot. Then following Primrose's glance, Then suddenly Primrose relents; With that, little prissy Primrose, "Why those are my pride and joy dear, Reaching 'round to her back pocket,
Said Joe, "I'll help carry your chest."
She said, "Oh please do,
'Cause I'm telling you,
With new-fangled bras I'm not blesssed!"
--- Travis Brasell
As together his wobbly knees knocked,
Said, "That's not what I meant,
But as I'm a gent,
I'll help. Let me get you unfrocked!"
--- Lyonesse
Joe's face showed even more stress,
But he needed no urging
(Though he was a virgin)
When she aske him to... I'll let you guess.
--- Lyonesse
It's somethin my cock sure ain't useter!"
Said Joe to Miss Smith,
So she replied with,
"I'll hold it -- but not your damn rooster!"
--- Travis Brasell
Was the first to invent the embargo
On trade with the whites,
And especially at nights --
When he asked would they please let his squaw go.
--- Keith MacMillan A043A
Once asked her chief, "What shall I do?"
So they went to her teepee
And looked at her peepee,
And said, "I'm not sleepy. Let's screw!"
--- Larry Wilde
With the ways that the women were dressed,
One would rarely see thigh,
For their hems were not high,
But their necklines showed plenty of breast.
--- Cap'n Bean P9901
Said, "Better to live by the law;
Why go for bar wenches
With cheap perfume stenches?
Just marry a big-breasted squaw."
--- Armand E Singer 599
Lived Madge, neither attractive nor witty.
But now the town Marshall
To Madge was quite partial.
She was the only whore in the city.
--- Louis Phillips P9103
Lists helping upon her agenda.
She'll cure your worst phobia.
She's from Manitobia.
If you want to know more, see addenda.
--- Jim Loy
'Twas a gal who was known as Miss Kitty.
Tattooed on her ass
Were some gunmen with class,
And "Billy the Kid" on a titty.
--- Bob Birch
Just names and without any prose.
And among all those names
You will find "Jees James"
When you pull down her panties and hose.
--- Bob Birch
In a place, Kitty loved men to hunt.
"Doc Holiday's" written
As one who was smitten
By the sight of her well-shaven cunt.
--- Bob Birch
For those with whom she had connections.
She'd shaved off her hair,
And noted just where
She wanted the gunmen's erections.
--- Bob Birch
Was where she had tattoed his name.
In small letters it fit
On the end of her clit,
That wiggled each time that she came.
--- Bob Birch
Six days at a crack, so to speak.
On Sundays, she'd rest,
For even the best
Know seven days makes a whole week.
--- Bob Birch
For Kitty had out-screwed the rest.
And deserves all the fame
For giving the name
To that era we call the "Wild West".
--- Bob Birch
Who caused quite a stir in my scrotum.
An Indian maiden
Who'd never been laiden,
And, lord, did my pole ever totem!
--- Anon
Went out for a ride in the gloaming.
It's a pretty good hunch
That she met a cowpunch;
When she came in, her hair needed combing.
--- S Omar Barker
At dusk felt the need to go roaming.
She was hit by a tractor;
Coyotes attacked her;
And that's why her hair needed combing.
--- Bob Birch
Who cowpokes considered the best.
In saloons far and near,
They would talk of her rear,
But raved as they spoke of her chest.
--- Bob Birch P9901
And by suckineg his neck raised a hicky up,
Which got him so hot
He went off like a shot,
Before he could quite get his dicky up.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8801
Found wifey in bed with a red man;
Said he, somewhat hurt,
"I know she's a flirt,
But screw her again, you're a dead man."
--- Armand E Singer 544
Let's dispel this ridiculous myth;
Sure I saved your fat head,
But the shoes by my bed
Will fit Rolfe, the John I'm sleeping with."
--- William N Nesbit P9608
So he searched the Chickahominy.
He was out of luck
When Indians struck,
Thinking death, with him as the nominee.
--- Tom Patton P9608
States Poky then dismissed this knave.
His beard made her antsy,
Tickling her fancy,
So she dumped him for a beardless brave.
--- Tom Patton P9608
And added the pleasures of smoking.
She's now just a slut
Who sucks on a butt;
Now Walt Raleigh's the guy she is stroking.
--- Tom Patton P9608
In Jamestown, address still unknown.
On orders of Powhatan,
Gave up all her matin'
And retired her erogenous zone.
--- Tom Patton P9608
At Pocahontas who's beguiled.
They made a date
To copulate
And so her fair body defiled.
--- Tom Patton P9608
But no weapon they have will daunt us,"
Said Rolfe yclept John
With a little yawn,
"After, I'm to poke Pocahontas."
--- Richard Robertson P0301
Went to Bombay to look for a bride.
Though his words were all flowery,
He just wanted a dowry,
Which an English lass would not provide.
--- Ms Ira Gardner-Smith
That men sing about Home on the Range,
Till some girl who is pretty
And lives in the city
Arranges for ranges to change.
--- John E Mayhood P9901
Has been given to acting quite strange.
She swings up the stove door
And cries out, "Watch me, for
I am once again riding the range!"
--- Willima N Nesbit P9901
This is file ztm
Now your face on a gold coin is struck.
Though I can't find a rhyme
With your name (there's no time!),
I can have you, you know, for a buck!
--- Albin Chaplin
As he lifted up Sacajawea
To Clark at the top.
"She's a very nice mop;
When she opens her mouth I can see ya!"
--- Anon
Be as pleasant as you know you should.
Honor Sacajawea
For we swear, 'Mama mia.'
She was, 'The Little Injun Who Could'."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
On a dollar, to press women's case.
Sally Ride, Rosa Parks?
No, it's Lewis and Clark's
Guide -- with neither a name nor a face!
--- Prof M-G TP9806
"I don't mind sharing tail with my brothers.
But there is one drawback,
I'm holding this squaw back,
'Cause she's more fun to fuck than the others.
--- Armand E Singer 777
Gave blowjobs around the corral.
Till some dude from down South
Shot a wad in her mouth,
That could fill the Gowanus Canal.
--- Michael Weinstein P8412
Was determined that nothing would phase her,
Till a crafty old brave
Thrust a spear in her cave,
And provoked her to gush like a geyser.
--- Hugh Oliver A015A
On the prarie, she rode my banana.
A cowgirl so true,
She gave me a screw
Wearing only her spurs and bandana.
--- Cap'n Bean P9901a
"There is wampum all over my teepee!"
Said the squaw, with eyes bright,
"Why, I earned it last night,
And I did the whole thing with my peepee!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3013
And Sioux, on the hunt for a man.
"Comanche said, "Brave
We must be. Look, there's Dave!
Ma,hican be part of our plan."
--- Doug Harris P0606
Against dating the first Chickasaw.
In this Seminole moment,
Forgetting what no meant,
He Spokan selected a squaw.
--- Doug Harris P0606
Who had a weird story to tell,
Of nights out on the range,
With cowboys who were strange,
But she thought to herself "What the Hell!"
--- Bob Birch P9901
Was accomplished with whip, quirt, and lariat.
She would hog-tie her prey
And abuse him all day;
What was left of him after, she'd bury it.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8412
Succeeded a white squaw to catchie.
Her scalp he disdained
Because, he explained
That he lusted far more for her snatchie.
--- Hugh Oliver 100a
Who was whooped by an Indian warrior;
Much later at leisure
Recalling the pleasure:
That state of pacific euphoria.
--- Keith MacMillan 109a
Job, his girl takes her rawhide lasso,
Binds his balls to his thumbs,
And when this cowboy comes,
You can hear him cry "Whoopee-tie-yo!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8412
Set up house, with a squaw, dans le bois.
For in "combat de fuc"
He had found that her "truc"
Was a match for his "je ne sais quoi".
--- Keith MacMillan 35a
They rose at the pink crack of Dawn.
Now Dawn is bereft,
And those bastards have left
Their condoms all over my lawn
--- John Miller
Imposters! They were amateur.
An 8 second ride.
A matter of pride?
Shoot out of the gate premature.
Though I couldn't tell by their looks.
I saw one use spurs
As he put his in hers,
And another used whips, ropes and hooks.
--- Bonnie
And you were apparently looking
At all the equipment
And ordered a shipment?
Put me on your list if you're booking.
--- Bonnie
The rain-dance has altered at will:
Through his limerick form,
He can bring on a storm
Of laughter, and downpours of thrill.
--- Carl Ludwig Kjelsen P8901
When editing page after page
Of effluent verse,
He's defying the curse
Of illiterates, and that of age!
--- Carl Ludwig Kjelsen P8901
And all of them heartily meant:
May Bill Backe-Hansen
Still carry on dancin'
For many more years round his tent.
--- Carl Ludwig Kjelsen P8901
Spied Primrose, a starlet from Granville;
The sway of her hips
And big pouty lips
Caused Buck to start pounding his anvil.
--- Travis Brasell
A love-arrow pointed at Venus?
Among all the titles
Conferred on those vitals,
We've never put 'anvil' between us.
--- Barbara Bluebird
Is large, hard, and takes a good blow;
If you'd like to see one,
(A big one, not wee one,)
Then mine I'll be happy to show.
--- Travis Brasell
A thing here all steaming and hot.
I'm feeling just grand,
And have the right brand;
I'll land it in just the right spot!
--- Tiddy Ogg
"I'll tell you," she said, "I care not!
If you feel so grand,
Why not use your hand?"
The blacksmith just stared and asked: "What?"
--- Eva
While Buck was still froze in his trance,
Said she, "What you're pounding
Is near as astounding
As what's pounding there in your pants!"
--- Travis
Her feelings becoming intense.
With thoughts running wild,
She impishly smiled,
And whispered, "I love your horse scents."
--- Observer
Started ripping and tearing her clothes.
About to give in,
Then to Buck's chagrin,
She said, "Hold on Buck, whose are those?"
--- Carol
This one's Buick Junior right here.
And those are the twins
Harry and Quinn;
I hear you've a daughter, let's see her.
--- Gearhart
Primrose pulls out her gold locket,
Saying, "There you go.
That's my triplets on show.
Now would you not like to help with my socket?"
--- Sharon
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