MORE
Thought old Buck, "I'll lay this filly down," Said Buck, "I don't mean to be rude, Time passes so slow while you're waiting... The sun was approaching high noon; Buck ordered a shot and a beer; While Primrose was waiting on Buck, Then, quickly, he made up a plan, And back at the Sundance Saloon, Miss Lily was known near and far, As Calhoon wandered in through the door, The Sherrif Calhoon gave a shout, But Lily would not tell the lad For Buck had leapt up off the floor Of Buck, that fine ram of a man, A stranger called Abilene Herb A rodeo grand prize, so I've heard, This little old man, Cowboy Bob, The Indian Chief, Sitting Bull, His daughter said, "You pull your knob. That old Cowboy Bob's quite a job; S. Bull's daughter, looking for Bob's, Bob has an interesting knob, We don't like those ink-blot-type knobs. The Old West was won by this mob; Bob's gobs overwhelmed S. Bulls daughter; S. Bull found out someone had mussed her; "He has gone way too far, this damn Yank. While daddy's away with his muster, As naked as when she was born, Escaping from Little Bighorn And now we can leave Cowboy Bob, You cowboys are just so polite, If, when home on your range, which tastes sweet, That would not be a savory treat If you want me to graze on your range, Since cowboys always make me swoon, She'd gaze at the cowboy and drool, Mules ain't fit for ladies nor Mamma! We feel for the poor Seminoles; The red men, it's worthy of note, The red men are patient old souls; Despite the political gaffe, Well, here's my brand new resume; I've ridden on many a saddle -- On tobacco I never chaw; You won't find a gal here more fitter, Now don't get me wrong about dancing And when she had finished the song, As I led her out the stage door, The only strip that night by Carol It won't hurt if Jon doesn't know, A cowpuncher out in Dakota This cowpoke was quick to unveil her, The critter who lives in my crotch The critter that lives in my crotch The critter that lives in my crotch A roundly raped girl of Tulane While thrashing around in the hay, From the sex book, a fellow named Chris Men with colossal pricks She said, as she buttoned her dress, The mogul's wife found most surprising Parisian girls mutter "Peut-etre" When my loins were excited with lust There one was a young Hindu gent The bushed meter reader came by,
But his smile was replaced with a frown.
Prim's words went unheeded,
Buck knew he'd be needed...
The stagecoach had just pulled into town.
--- Observer
But horses will have to be shoed.
So, just wait a spell...
Meet me at the hotel,
Right after my duties conclude!"
--- Observer
Prim sat in the room contemplating...
What's taking so long?
She tugged at her thong...
Her perfumme was intoxicating.
--- Observer
Thought Prim, "Buck should be here real soon."
'Twas then that young Billy
Saw Buck and Miss Lily
Slip into the Sundance Saloon.
--- Observer
Miss Lily's intentions were clear.
Her hand on his hip,
Old Buck bit his lip,
And her tongue encircled his ear.
--- Observer
Young Billy thought "Oh, what the fuck!
Forget what Buck told her,
Who cares if she's older
Than me? My young dick she can suck!
--- Travis Brasell
Then down the back alleys he ran,
And while he was running,
He thought, "I'm so cunning...
With Primrose, I'll prove I'm a man!"
--- Travis Brasell
Weak at the knees, ready to swoon,
Buck's joy turned to dread,
When Miss Lily, she said,
"Oh no! It's sherrif Jim Calhoon!"
--- Carol
As belonging to that there tin star.
Though many had tried,
All of them had died
An untimely death, most bizarre.
--- Carol
He saw Lily laid out on the floor.
"My God, are you dead""
"No, knackered!" she said.
I know now what makes a good whore."
--- Richard
"I'll find out what it's all about.
Just tell me 'who dunnit'
And filled up your punnet,
Then I'll give to them a good clout."
--- Richard
The name of the person who had
Tried hard and then done it;
Put in to her punnet,
But now she was feeling so sad.
--- Richard
When he saw Sherrif Cal' at the door.
With his pants 'round his knees,
He took off to the trees,
And that was the last that she saw.
--- Richard
Who proved that with luck, we all can
Take the fruit from the punnet
And shout out I've done it.
I've shivered her timbers, old man!"
--- Richard
In the rodeo was simply superb.
He took the first prize
To the judges surprise,
For he thought that 'cow-poke' was a verb.
--- Martin Wellborn P8412A
Has been wone by an indigent Serb
Who amassed a high score --
A 99.4 --
And thought that 'cow poke' was a verb.
--- Arthur Deex P9011a
Tried, but could not play with his knob.
He lamented one day
In greatest dismay,
"What damnfool thing next will they rob?"
--- Marlene Lewis
Had eaten and so he was full.
And drinking firewater,
He said to his daughter,
"It's time you gave this thing a pull."
--- Archie
I've got me a much better job.
He'll pay me to hunt
For his missing front --
I'm working for old Cowboy Bob."
--- Marlene Lewis
A foul, evil-smelling old slob.
And his wrinkled old gun
Measures inches just one.
He's depleted by his brother Rob.
--- Archie
Or other guys interesting knobs,
Has heard what you claim,
So that sneaky dame
Is tiptoeing over to Robs.
--- Marlene Lewis
Considering it is just a squab.
Though hard, it's a shorty,
And all hairy and warty;
It's like a Rorschachean blob.
--- Archie
S. Bull's daughter and I are snobs.
We like normal spew
And not what those do --
They squirt out those little blue gobs.
--- Marlene Lewis
On indians they did a fine job.
It wasn't the whiteys
Who were high and mighty,
But Bob's corps of little blue GOB's.
--- Archie
It was not the thing that they oughter
Be doing in plain view.
She said 'til their brains grew,
She'd wash them away with creek water.
--- Marlene Lewis
He asked her just who was the buster
Who'd had a good screw
In everyone's view,
And she said that she thought it was Custer.
--- Archie
His army and he, need a spank!
We'll hide in the coulee.
When I get this fool, he
Won't even be good for a wank!"
--- Marlene Lewis
He thought that his daughter, he'd trust her;
But he couldn't, you see,
'Cause in the teepee
Was the daughter and Bob with his thruster.
--- Archie
S. Bull's daughter looks at Bob's thorn.
"Short. Wide. Knobby things --
I can see that this brings
New meaning to 'Little Bighorn'."
--- Marlene Lewis
Is futile, all mothers will warn.
So now that he's caught her,
He'll leave S. Bull's daughter
To waken alone in the morn!
--- Archie
And S. Bull's daughter knocks on his knob.
While he sneaks away,
We can simply say --
Don't like to hear grown up men sob.
--- Marlene Lewis
It's hard to resist that invite.
If you need a change,
Then come graze my range;
It's dewy almost every night.
--- Carol
That prarie dog, Trav, I should meet,
Popping out of a hole
With his knee-banging pole.
My discouraging word would be "Sheeeeeeet!"
--- RanDog
This is file zsm
And I'd beat a quite hasty retreat.
Antelope and the deer
Would be running, I fear,
'Cause we all want no part of his meat!
--- RanDog
You'll most certainly have to arrange
A Travis-free night
For my bison's delight,
Where the Brits can all watch. Is that strange?
--- RanDog
When riding one, I always croon
An old western ditty,
Like "Mules Make Me Giddy"
Or some other old cowboy tune.
--- Carol
Then sit down to ride on his tool.
It was a nice ride,
With a stud by her side,
But she'd rather be under the mule!
--- CM
A mules thing is just a small comma.
We all know that Carol
Likes them like a barrel.
Put her in the pen with the Brahma!
--- Cyber Wizard
They were here before Cabots and Lowells.
But they're denied sufferage,
'Cause white men took umbrage
At their scalping a few Anglo-souls.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
Scalped some of the people they smote.
The Sioux and Shoshone
Left many heads bony
Long ago, but they still cannot vote.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
They strive for political goals.
But in retaliation
For decapitation,
White pols don't let Reds near their polls.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
The Indian has had the last laugh.
He smiles 'cause he knows
Who owns the casinos,
With whites as the underpaid staff.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
I wrote it myself, just today.
Including job history,
So they'll be no mystery,
I think I'll measure up okay.
--- Anon
Not western though, too hard to straddle.
Not bow-legged yet,
Not deep into debt,
And once saw a whole herd of cattle!
--- Anon
I'm not on the run from the law.
I can make things grow,
And also I know,
The difference between hay and straw.
--- Anon
I'm not known to be a fence sitter.
Once worked a saloon,
Sang this cowboy tune,
"Blood on the Saddle" by Tex Ritter.
--- Anon
Around on the stage and the prancing
She did, was all class,
Though she did shake her ass.
The dance ended not with depantsing.
--- Jon Gearhart
I'd make my way up through the throng,
Then lightly I'd kiss her.
Oh God! How I miss her!
Strong feelings as thick as my dong.
--- Jon Gearhart
The barcrowd screamed out for encore.
But we slipped outside
For a long wild ride
In my cherry Chevelle '64.
--- Jon Gearhart
Is when she stripped down for my barrel.
Fully clothed in the bar
Till we got to my car,
Then we both shed all trace of apparel.
--- Jon Gearhart
That I did more than sing for that show.
Those hoots and those hollers
Brought me lots of dollars,
And filled up my thong full of dough.
--- Carol
Fell hard for a gal named Cleota.
But when close by her side,
He was always tongue-tied,
So he borrowed a pencil and wrota!
--- S Omar Barker
With concious intent then to nail her.
But before intromission,
He asked her permission,
But to do so, he had to e-mail her.
--- Bob Birch
Likes to whittle and spit and drink scotch.
I don't mind the boozin'
But I fear that I'm loosin',
Whenever he cuts a new notch.
--- Neal Wilgus P8303
I swear he thinks he is so mach.
Whenever I fuck,
He shouts out "Good Luck!"
And times the whole thing with his watch.
--- Neal Wilgus P8303
Keeps a record of girls I debauch.
He also keeps track
Of the things that they lack,
And sends flowers to the ones that I botch.
--- Neal Wilgus P8303
Cried, "It may not be nice to complain,
But why can't I ever
Get raped in good weather?
I always get raped in the rain!"
--- G0782
The lass to the laddie did say,
"I've got straw in each orifice,
And your dick is amorphous.
Now that's what I call a bad lay."
--- Barry Becker a
Tried a stunt which his girl thought amiss.
"I do not share your view --
I have read the book too,
And the book was much better than this."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0662
Believe the world turns on their dicks.
When thumping a mattress,
They yell, "I am Atlas!"
But when done, they can not flick their Bics!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Playing doctor was fun, but I guess
I prefer playing house
With you as my spouse,
And it's your turn to clean up this mess."
--- John Miller 0129
The speed of her old husband's rising.
But when sudden recession
Followed passion's expression,
She asked, "Dear is this called downsizing?"
--- Evelyn Bogen P9607
Once they've earned their scarlet lettre.
So when told "Je t'adore"
They answer, "Encore?
Well--provided monsieur does it bettre."
--- Isaac Asimov
I ignored your diminutive bust.
And I tried not to stare
At you dark facial hair,
Which I took to be some kind of dust.
--- Professor
Who said to a lass as he went:
"Though I am lower caste,
You're a fine piece of ass,
And you, my dear, must now pay the rent.
--- Phil T
And wailed to the waiting Miss Blye,
"Having serviced already
Such a much, I'm unsteady...
It's pay you to snag a fresh guy..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 531
MORE