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A Marmaronick maid cried, "December There was a young lady named Kate, If life went according to plan, A horny young lady was Kay There was a young woman named Joan, From males I have need to be sexed; There was a young lady named Susie, While spending the winter at Pau, A German girl, feeling quite fine, There was an old lady named Barr, A happy old hag named McPherson, There was a young fellow named Babbit, Once a handsome film maker named Stu, A nympho by the name of Calpurnia, There once was a lawyer named Charlotte, There once was a girl named McGoffin, (She even laid scores, Of men turned down by whores,)
There was a young lady named Bunch, Sexy Senora Constanz An oversexed bunny named Bright Of the two genders why the pretext A girl from the Rockies, named Sally, The sounds of the night call me, sweetly: There was an old bat from Tooele, Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily, A girl went down by the creek, There was a young girl named Priscilla, There was a young miss from the Pyrenees A highway patrol buff named Claire, There was a young lady named Lassiter, Une jeune fille-de-joi in Shawinigan, There once was a lady from Dublin An oversexed lady named White, At the sight of my neighbor's glad thighs, A girl from Shanghai had a ball, A waterfront wench who's from Natchez Near an army base, sighed sweet Miss Harrison, Three farmers named Tom, Dick, and Harry, I once knew a soldier, Italian, There was a young lady named Mame, There was a young lady named Dot, There was a young lady named Gloria, Sally-Jo was exceedingly vexed, The Academy Girl" is Miss Ulva. Marlene, as is told, is out rambling An ancient Greek harlot named Harriet There once was a girl from Dover, There was a young woman, sublime, When the men were all absent, Jane drooped. There once was a girl from Red Hook, A horny young girl from Mount Lassen There was a young Scot in Madrid, There was a young man from Molapida, There was an old farmer named Heetfield A man screwed his wife and her mother, There was a great lover named Rafe, A daredevil skater named Lowe, There once was a fellow named Weston, Mr Galsworthy rented a suite, A wealthy young man of Bagdad There was a rude man with a beard, Said a foolish old lecher named Brannigan: Said a wornout young fellow named Tabor A right horny lad from Cape May There was a young knight name of Pat, Some women once had the audacity, Her ladyship said to McDuff,
Is a month I delight to remember...
On most cozy, cold days,
I've had seven hot lays,
And I simply loved each dying ember!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 929
Who thought lovemaking was great.
She'd line up a queue
Of not just a few,
And practised until it was late.
--- Archie
And she could have sex with a man
Any time of the day,
Every possible way,
Her cunt would require a fan.
--- Dieter Vancouver
Who wanted to fuck every day.
So she gave every caller
A Kennedy dollar,
For providing a friend the next day.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0230
Who once had six men of her own.
The first was for Mondays,
Then the rest--except Sundays,
When she'd just masturbate all alone.
--- Isaac Asimov
Yet soon find myself bored and vexed.
So it's been my thinking:
No permanent linking;
When I'm done with one, I call...NEXT!
--- Goin2later
Whom everyone thought was a floozy.
She like Boy Scout Troops,
And Shriners, in groups;
"What the hell!" she said, "I'm not choosy!"
--- Anon
Lady Pamela forgot to say "No."
So the head-porter made her,
The second cook laid her,
The waiters were all hanging low.
--- L0334
Because of some bottles of wine,
When taken to bed,
By a football team said,
"I told you before, guys, just nine!"
--- Anon
Defiled by six men in a car.
They were hellbent on rape
And she could not escape,
So she stayed and outfucked them by far.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0520
Was really the busiest person.
Spent her days, for a fact,
In the sexual act,
And all of her nights in rehearsing. (perversions)
--- G0654
Who could screw nine times like a rabbit,
But a girl from Johore,
Could do it twice more,
Which was just enough extra to crab it.
--- L0270
Asked a sexy young actress to screw.
As she struck a nice pose,
She was overexposed,
And did retakes for each of the crew.
--- Bob Birch
Grew hot and hotter and burnier.
So she fucked and she fucked,
And she fucked and she fucked,
'Til she fucked herself into a hernia.
--- Anon
Who was known as a bit of a harlot.
She did fifteen men,
Then she did them again,
Until her quiff turned a bright shade of scarlet.
--- Anon
Who was diddled amazingly often.
At sex, never bested,
She never was rested,
'Til the day she was screwed in her coffin.
--- L0319
Who much loved to wriggle and scrunch.
On the Citadel green,
She was screwed by sixteen;
Then she sucked off the Sergeant for lunch.
--- G0538
Grew so tired of her pots and pans,
She broke out of her ruts
By depleting the nuts
Of all of her husband's hired hands.
--- Yoda Buddy
Took on seven fellows one night.
She averred, "It was fun,
And when they were done,
I still felt all right, but not tight."
--- Grand Prix Lim 604
That the male is the more highly sexed?
For in truth when they mate
When they're through, he must wait,
While she's always set for the next.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9102
Was well known for her peaks and her valley.
She aspired to screw
Every man that she knew,
And indeed she lost track of the tally.
--- Alex Heydon P0402
"Oh, do it! Oh, do it! Repeatly!"
And so I obey,
At least until day,
Then scamper on my booted feetly!
--- Anon
When asked what she'd had for her filler,
Said, "Twelve men on the floor,
Who won't leave by the door,
Till they show off their genital skilla.
--- ML
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
--- Loman
And had her cunt licked by a peke,
Her bottom enjoyed
By sixteen unemployed,
And her mouth crammed with spunk by a Greek.
--- G0519
With whom sex proved completely a thrilla.
One just can't get enough
Of that girl's kind of stuff.
(Although the sixth time is a killa.)
--- Isaac Asimov
Who was diddled so much she had weary knees.
A distended quim,
With no hair on the rim,
And gism from navel to smeary knees.
--- G2726
Once screwed half a troop on a dare.
And her parts grew so hot,
There was steam on her twat,
So they nicknamed her Smokey the Bare.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Whose permission could not have been taciter.
She would lie on the lawn,
Barely stifling a yawn,
While our lads stood in line for a pass at her.
--- John Ciardi
Who would say to her men, 'Put it in again!"
If they couldn't do that,
She would hand them their hat,
Then go out in the street and begin again.
--- John E Mayhood P0101
Whose addiction to sex was quite troublin'.
At the start, it was merely
A few couplings yearly;
Now it's six times a day and still doublin'!
--- Robert Elliot
Insists on a dozen a night.
A fellow named Cheddar,
Had the brashness to wed her.
His chance of survival is slight.
--- L0362
Old Faithful makes efforts to rise.
But after ten nights
Of her bedroom delights,
The tail-light burns low in my eyes.
--- G0202
This is file yum
With the whole Eighth Army last fall.
She was screwed, with a smile,
Seven times every mile,
The full length of the Chinese Great Wall.
--- Isaac Asimov
Likes to sample her pricks in big batches.
So she frequently screws
The mates and the crews
While the captains are safe under hatches.
--- G0706
"I have screwed every man in the garrison;
Sure, three at a time
Would have been just sublime,
But they said that would be too embarrassin'!"
--- Norm Storer
All wanted the same girl to marry.
She held trials in the barn,
And decided on Tom,
Because Tom had a dick very hairy.
--- Anon
Who said he was built like a stallion.
The fool though that he
Could satisfy me...
But it took the whole bloody battalion.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Whose parents believed it a shame,
To reject all the beaux,
Who came round to propose.
But she didn't. That's not why then came.
--- John Ciardi
Whose cunt was so terribly hot,
That ten bishops of Rome,
And the Pope's private gnome,
Failed to quench her Vesuvial twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1102
Who was had by Sir Gerald du Maurier.
And then by six men,
Sir Gerald again,
And the band at the Waldorf Astoria.
--- L0302
When they said she was quite oversexed.
She said, "That's not true,
I just like to screw.
Now please take a number. Who's next?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
One spring day, the whole band at Culver,
All eighty cadets
With firm, young coronets,
Played the Culver Tattoo on her vulva.
--- Theo Heller P9211
In Vegas where she's into gambling;
She bet all her cash
That her silky gash
Can take the whole ball team from Grambling.
--- Travis Brasell
Would take on two men in a chariot,
Six monks and two tailors,
Nine priests and ten sailors,
Doubting Thomas and Judas Iscariot!
--- G0609
Who told men to bang her bent over.
They passed her around
Till she'd fucked the whole town,
And then she started all over.
--- Arbuckle TP9802
Who loved to partake of her wine.
If she had much to drink,
All the guys got a wink,
And she hopped into bed all the time.
--- Anon
She liked it the best when they grouped.
She worked them with vigor,
Reducing their rigor,
And when done, felt delightfully pooped.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who said, "Though I could be mistook,
One more time ought to do,
To get me and you
Into Guinness's World Record Book.
--- John Ciardi
Said, "I sure wish my cunt would unfasten.
For I'd leave it with you
A whole month, maybe two--
Till you were fucked out, you ass-assin!"
--- G2433
Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid.
When they said, "Are you faint?"
He replied, "No, I ain't,
But I don't feel as good as I did."
--- L0321
Whose rebound was rapid and rapider.
In an hour and three-quarters,
He fucked eight farmers' daughters,
Which is way above average per capita.
--- G0701
Who hired many girls in his beetfield.
When the day's work was done,
He said, "Let's all have fun."
And he had all the girls in his wheatfield.
--- Albin Chaplin
Her sisters, her aunts, and grandmother.
On his prick he put glasses
And he said, "Look for asses,
To be sure we have missed nothing, brother."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2200
From whom not one female was safe,
E.g., debutantes,
Young nymphets, their aunts,
On down to the lowliest waif.
--- Armand Singer
Leaps barrels arranged in the snow.
But is proudest of doing
Some incredible screwing,
Since he's jumped thirteen girls in a row.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who for screwing, he was a-questin'.
He tried out the dollies,
And found through his follies,
There wasn't a one he fit best in.
--- Anon
In a building devoid of all heat.
So he fucked for three months,
Sucked thirty-nine cunts,
Which solved all his problem quite neat.
--- L0349
Has morals excessively bad:
He keep seven Circassians
As a vent for his passions,
And on Sundays, he buggers a lad.
--- G0514
Whose behavior was terribly weird.
Though he'd screw a long list
Of girls in the mist,
He'd be gone by the time it had cleared.
--- Isaac Asimov
"My dear, I don't think that I can again.
That dozen last night
Were just a delight,
But Lord knows when I'll be a man again."
--- DryGulch
To his sweet and compliasant neighbor,
"One time's a delight,
But eight in one night
Comes under the heading of labor."
--- Grand Prix Lim 692 G0777
Spent much of his life in the hay --
Not looking for needles
Nor Japanese beetles --
But fucking some girl every day.
--- Armand E Singer 551
Whose chilvalric exploits were fact.
With his lance in the air,
He'd joust ladies fair,
(Or for that matter, ladies fat).
--- Anon
To impugn my erotic capacity.
I stilled all their doubts,
With erotical bouts,
And thus proved my colossal first-classity.
--- Isaac Asimov
As he shot his load into her muff:
"Oh dear, not again;
One shouldn't complain,
But five times a night is enough!"
--- Michael Horgan
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