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The ladies especially will like, In the streetcars we took all the benches; At the palace, not front door but back, For you girls there's a barber's quartet, Vondelpark is reserved for teen lovers, Members of Amstel Scuba-Dive Club Booth's Army girls for this occasion, We are proud to say here ain't no bitches, At the end of the day -- big surprise! You ask what's the proper relation In my dreams, I've had many young girls; The minimum count, twenty one, Says my wife, and I know that she's right, Some days are much better than others; Today, I have two rivers swum, To her boss the stenographer said: That's not such an awful mistake, Said a man as he raised his flagon, Asked a girl of young astronaut Brad, Don't despair during times of menstruation, What he thought was her thick lubrication, The bride enjoyed sex quite a bit, Oral sex at that time groom would calm, I came this close to being a Dad! A friend of mine, one Arthur Bull She asked me to send chartreuse Tampex. There's a beautiful girl in Batoche Oh dear, Jane, my fingers have damp on. But Janie, in case it won't fit, Now Janie, please Janie, don't fret; There now, it's finished it's job, I once dared to stick in my prick, Tom lives with four women, you know. There once was a midget named Ron, She said there'd be no fornication, By the light of the silvery moon, "I'm wearing my Kotex," said Gert, While lying asleep in my bed, Now that her bell has been rung, Well now, I have to protest! I won't mess around with a platitude; Once Kitten and I had a scrapkin There was a young girl from the Creek There was an old fellow named Morey, There was a young seamstress named Lyriad A hard-headed pimp named of Garrity "Sorry Joe," said the dance-hall gal, Sally. Now there's not much motion to the bed, A dutiful Christian named Eades "Will you come with me back to my lair?" A husband with habits of cleanses His hand gave equal time each breast, Between sports and cavorting with Nereids Menstruation's not a subject for fun! Said the priest to Miss Bridget McLennin, "I regret", she announced with a smile, There once was a young Aztec, I came home at a quarter past two, I once thought young Di to be fickle A precocious young girl of Batavia, A lecherous barkeep named Dale, There was a young soldier named Kane A young man on th banks of the Cam Butch and a ugly skank, Sue, An exhausted young gal from Sheboygan A happy young bridegroom named Bricken,
On the crossbar, to have a hitch-hike.
As the men run the race
To win the prize for first place,
There's a handicap -- it's a girl's bike.
--- Anon
Replaced them with cross-latticed fences.
In the rails are wide gaps,
So it might be perhaps,
A hint to have a ride, you wenches.
--- Anon
When you give the clapper a whack,
It is never been seen,
But now there's a queen
Hands out vials filled chockfull with crack.
--- Anon
But unlike some others you've met,
They don't sing those octaves --
Rather offer close shaves,
So your pussies look different in bed.
--- Anon
'Cause they are the most often boffers.
The adults get a bed
And roof overhead,
Courtesy of the municipal coffers.
--- Anon
Demonstrate they're as good as a sub.
When the ladies yell "High!",
All the divers will try
To raise all their periscopes up!
--- Anon
Scarcely dressed, lead you into temptation.
They ogle and wiggle
Their hips and they giggle;
You're farther away from salvation.
--- Anon
Except perhaps unforeseen glitches.
So for fear there's no need
Should you happen to meet
One whose openings are closed up with stitches.
--- Anon
Will be tortured one of your bad guys.
Our sadistic Miss Heather
Strokes his foot with a feather,
Till he laughs out his heart -- screams and cries!
--- Anon
Between you and this great invitation?
For one year, I can tell,
You've been going through hell;
A good reason for fair compensation.
--- Anon
Different sizes and shapes but all pearls.
Gentle hands that would glide
All over my hide,
Massaging in sensuous swirls.
--- John Miller 0145
Is the least that I'd settle for fun.
I'd have one to linger
On each toe and finger...
Each doing what's best to be done.
--- John Miller 0145a
"Such a session would kill you out-right!"
It would kill me, I know;
What a swell way to go!
I wouldn't mind dying tonight...
--- John Miller 0145b
Like, for instance, when Tammy's nine brothers
Have all gone for the day,
Then I've much time to play
With her pussy and also her mothers.
--- Travis Brasell
To eat one sweet "Tammian plum."
But those brothers nine
Have ravaged the fine,
But there still is the prune of the Mum.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Today we ain't hitting no bed.
You can ball the jack
When I'm back in the black,
But today my account's in the red."
--- Grand Prix Lim 842
For a horny young fellow to make,
Because menstruation,
Just adds lubrication,
And colourful sex in it's wake.
--- Jayne
"My spirits are down; I'm just draggin'.
I will try evermore
But I will never score;
She always has the dread rag on!"
--- Tom Patton P0306
"What excitement in space have you had?"
As he fondled her thigh
He said, "Feelings run high
At the moment we lift off the pad."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2943
Nor send your mate out on vacation.
Sure the time's not ideal,
And the mess is quite real,
But it certainly beats masturbation.
--- Vince Kasten
Was found to be just menstruation.
There was blood on his face,
And all over the place,
As a result of "red" hot fornication.
--- Anon
But wondered when new groom might quit;
When period came,
Each month was the same;
Provided her with brief respite.
--- Chris Papa
But when she required lip balm,
She'd stop but briefly,
In time just to see,
He'd fallen in love with his palm.
--- Chris Papa
I thought I would make out like mad.
I was about to dispose
Of the silk pantyhose,
When I then saw the damn Kotex pad.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
From these rhymes useful knowledge did cull.
But his wife, an old hag,
Waved her bloody red rag,
Which made his sex life rather dull.
--- Professor
She said it three times. Me it did vex.
But my co-worker knew
'Twas a dye of green hue
Like Rit, but its brand name was TinTex.
Who agreed, after cocktails and nosh,
To take him to bed --
But his face is still red,
And the sheets had to go in the wash.
--- John E Mayhood P0101
I think that we'd best turn the lamp on.
A reddish pink hue,
A pretty good clue:
It's time that you fit your first tampon.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I'm inserting, just aft of your clit
My horny old gland - er,
This Acme Expander.
How nicely it stretches your slit!
--- John Miller
It swells quite a bit when it's wet,
'Til it's properly sized.
Yes, it is pressurized,
But it hasn't exploded. Not yet!
--- John Miller
(You can tell, when it ceases to throb.)
Can you lend me a hankie?
Yes dear, and thankie,
I need it to clean off this knob.
--- John Miller
Through blood and goo, oh so thick!
Then to clean up
I called in her pup;
She was happy to give it a lick
--- Anon
It seems like a tough row to hoe.
Though his life's not all tranquil,
He still remains thankful
Because he just goes with the flow.
--- Ed
This is file yem
Who all the girls loved to climb on,
But the mean little runt
Would crawl up their cunt,
And be used as a human tampon.
--- Anon
'Cause she's having her monthly menstruation.
I'm not turned off;
We can still boff;
Just improves overall lubrication.
--- Anon
I danced with my sweetheart too soon.
When I reached down to tickle,
I felt a warm trickle,
And the band played an old ragtime tune.
--- G0092A
"So you can't stick your prick 'neath my skirt."
Said her boyfriend, "So what,
I can still eat your twat,
And the Kotex I'll have for dessert."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1266
I dreamt I was giving Sue head.
I woke with this skag
Who was now on the rag --
My lips and my mouth were all red.
--- Archie
And such a sad song you have sung,
It wasn't her rag
Or the furious shag,
But the fact that you've bitten your tongue.
--- Cyber Wizard
Your words, now are surely in jest?
The heavenly smell
That wafts from her well,
Has always been voted "THE BEST!"
--- Archie
It's not about smell but an attitude.
She's danger at best
When down on the nest,
But monthly she comes up with a BATitude.
--- Archie
Because I'd not purchase the napkin
She needed to soak
Her 'monthly' -- "You bloke,"
Yelled she, "come and mop up my lapkin!"
--- Anon
Who had her periods twice every week.
"How very provoking,"
Said the Vicar from Woking,
"There's no time for poking, so to speak."
--- Anon Cambridge 30's L1152
And this is his sorrowful story.
He screwed each of a myriad
Damsels during her period;
And God! Did the bedclothes get gory!
--- Isaac Asimov
Whose talents were diverse and myriad.
She could sew and mend straight,
She'd do math, punctuate,
And she never missed even one period.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2175
Said, "One thing get straight and with clarity;
You girls get the rag out
And then hang the flag out:
I don't run my business on charity."
--- Armand E Singer 371
"I'm afraid it's the wrong time to dally..."
"Sal, I don't mind a bit,
'Cause there's no fellow yet
Gone and drowned in THAT Red River Valley."
--- Robin K Willoughby P8412 a
But it's better than if she were dead.
But it's not much strain,
And never a stain,
'Less it's that time and it's red.
--- ylf
Refrains from all sex when she bleeds.
But pulls up her nightie
To court Aphrodite,
The rest of the month for her needs.
--- Armand Singer
He said this to curvy, young Claire.
"I can't have a date;
It's day twenty-eight,
And you know that I don't have a spare."
--- Anon
Was driven right out of his senses.
He made the mistake
Of entering her crake,
As wifey was having her menses.
--- Archie
His other hand her rear caressed.
But when he felt
Her sanitary belt,
His eagerness grew less and less.
--- Irving Superior P8802A
There are differences totaling myriads;
But the principle matter,
It is only the latter
Where there's play taking place between periods.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8306 A
So annoying and nasty 'til done.
Of tampons we tire,
(Teabags for vampire?)
During bad week, a shag I won't shun!
--- Anon
"Sure, a kiss on your twat, isn't sinnin',"
And he stuck to this story
'Till he tasted the gory,
And menstruous state she was then in.
--- L0413
"That our music must wait for a while.
I would love a duet,
But I can't join you yet,
Because ragtime was never my style."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who was fond of reading Steinbeck.
When asked where she read,
She said, "Always in bed,
Especially when wearing Kotex.
--- L1236
And there spread in bed was my Sue,
With my neighbor, old Fife,
Going down on my wife,
The day that her period came due.
--- G0917
For switching from me to that Michael.
The day that she left
I wasn't bereft,
'Cause she left on her menstrual cycle.
--- Anon
Widely known for outlandish behavia,
As her boyfriend withdrew
Giggled, "Over to you
With that ring on your ding I just gavia."
--- Keith MacMillan A085A
After fucking his menstrous female,
Mixed Drambuie and scotch
In the cream of her crotch
For a lustier, Rusty-er Nail.
--- G0841
Who picked up a girl on the train.
He said fucking this wench
Was like slogging the trench
In the midst of the tropical rain.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0225
Thought that sex was a snare and a sham.
So he writhed in the fetters
Of menstrual wetters,
And said, "What a good boy I am!"
--- G2284
In the woods, they knew what to do.
God only knows why,
'Cause there's blood on her thigh,
But at least is was someplace to spew.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Muttered, "Dammit, I'm starting to flow again.
Let me clean up the mess
With the hem of my dress,
Then I think I'll be ready to go again.
--- R A M. A125B
Fucked his bride, then proceeded with lickin'.
But the blood that did spew
From that vaginal stew,
Had a taste that was strangely like chicken.
--- Al Chaplin P9410
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