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She turned on the radio low; He picked at his vittles, uneasy. Since Pete spurned her lavish repast, Sweet Polly was rarin' to go. "Let's not be so glaringly crass, Sweet Polly said, "Well, Ah'll be durned! She decided she'd not take no more. So, Sweet Pol's in the market again, I lay on my back in the long, A noise! I arose from my back, ter We strolled through the woods to the river, For some indescribable cunt, One last try. We climbed the church spire, Marie, in a huff, up and left, ...Grabbed hold my throbbing appendage, Says my young daughter, who's name is Kate, This I've made the young men aware; He claimed to be up for a lay; He shouted, "I've got an erection!" So tell me, is this something new? "You've not said the least bit that's true! Sweet Melisande, you are so refined; Your words are like Browning and Shelly. Enchantress thou art, Melisande, Oh Pelleas darling, I'm shocked! Perverse author complains now and then, It need not be necessarily so; The shepherd committed a gaffe; He said, "Your advice you can keep; Young Marian don't seem to like Go ahead, if you wish, take a sniff -- This fetish, I'm glad you don't mock it, True story: I once met a cop; These girls, in their quite early teens, Says Paddy, "What are you folks about? There once was a spinster from Lark A phenomenal woman named May That lodger who was a curmudgeon There once was a cute Eskimo. There once was a guy named John The girl is ready to come. There was a young man from Havana Quoth the raven-haired girl, "No more. If you like them with endurance, A virile young fellow named Nate We all laughed when a fellow named Ollie It is said that Arabian Sheikhs Ride me, young thing, I adore Though big balls are best and I've got 'em; A fellow who called himself Lee, Mrs Brown was telling Miss Hays Reminds me of one night with Flo; If the Caliphs of arid Kuwait "In less than two weeks, cometh June." I now think our lustful affair, When I feel that I'm just on the brink, It's a balancing act, is it not? "My Lord," said the wench to her master, Her heart, I would love, that's a fact, A young woman who's from Louisville The milkman remains hours with Miss Blum, Some women express admiration, Dear Ericka, I try by best John, it might not seem like a lot, There was a young waitress named Schirring At four ev'ry morning I rise I ain't figured women out yet,
Set the mood with some sad country woe.
She said, "Here, eat your tater,
Ah've got plans fer ya later.
Perhaps the startch'll make Little Pete grow."
--- Anon
Said, "My, these potatoes are greasy.
I shan't eat them, Paul,
Too much cholesterol.
Lately lard makes my stomach feel queasy."
--- Anon
And seemed loathe to remember the past,
She went into Plan B
And sat down on his knee,
As he looked at her, shocked and aghast.
--- Anon
She thought Pete would be rowdy and so
She opened her arms
To reveal both her charms,
And was shocked to hear Pete say, "Dear, no,
--- Anon
Sweet Polly, my fine Texas lass.
Please show some finesse
And rebutton your dress.
And please, dear, recover your ass."
--- Anon
Fer a "Real man" is what Ah have yearned.
Ya'll done gone squirrelly,
Now actin' all "girlie",
With these "citified" ways ya done learned!"
--- Anon
Her ol' Pete had turned into a bore!
So with all of her might,
Kicked him into the night,
As she slammed and deadbolted her door.
--- Anon
For a guy who can settle her yen,
For hard loving and work
But who won't be a jerk.
Any takers? Inquire within.
--- Anon
Long grass, while Marie teased my dong,
With fingers and lips,
While my head 'tween her hips,
Was teasing her clit into song.
--- Tiddy Ogg
See old farmer Giles in his tractor,
With dung spreader fitted;
'Twas time that we flitted.
Frustrated, and still I'd not facked her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In peaceful surroundings I'd give her,
A length of old Oggy,
In style straight or doggy;
Again though, I could not deliver.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was arsing about in a punt,
With foul outboard motor.
I told him to go ter
The deepest of hells for that stunt.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In belfry I'd quench my desire.
But no fornication,
Tintinabulation,
Of bell tollers quenched quite my fire.
--- Tiddy Ogg
So I went to the farmyard to heft
A young heifer's snatch.
But who there should catch
Me but old Giles's wife, who so deft...
--- Tiddy Ogg
And tripped me in ways to upendage,
And then, (if you follow,)
Cock, pullet and swallow,
Which brings this odd tale to an endage.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Dad, 'bout dating, you just can't relate."
I too was once a yout',
So I know I will shoot
Any date with thoughts to copulate.
--- Anon
Hope I've succeeded with my scare.
If they try to get "it",
They in boucoup shit.
I'm ever alert. Best not dare!
--- Anon
He wanted a roll in the hay.
Take 'er or leave 'er,
I've got the hay fever.
My eyes are swoll shut for today.
--- Marty TP9807
I mumbled "I've got an infection.
If you want to trade,
Then you can get laid."
Funny -- he settled for affection.
--- Marty TP9807a
For though my requests have been few,
You won't let me mount.
Now I have lost count
Of times you've denied me a screw.
--- Frank Fazed
I've never denied you a screw.
I've said, go ahead --
In any whore's bed.
Just don't expect me in there too!"
--- Marlene Lewis
So delicate, gentle and kind.
With love I'm besot,
So show me your twat,
And give me a bloody good grind.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Your movements like dancer Gene Kelly.
But Pelly, I'll tell ye,
I'll not bare my belly,
'Cause Pelly, your smelly as helly!
--- Tiddy Ogg
Come hither and give me thy hand.
To aid our romance,
Put it here in my pants,
And massage my hot throbbing gland.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I'm standing here, not yet defrocked,
But thou couldst not linger.
I've goo on my finger;
I think, sir, you've gone off half-cocked.
--- Tiddy Ogg
He must choose between penis and pen.
For royalty checks
He will forego sex,
Be creative - nix women again.
--- Esther Kock
He should learn what makes earned money grow.
While safely investing,
While write arm is resting,
He'd achieve a sex-filled status quo.
--- Esther Koch
Caused the girl that he wanted, to laugh.
She said, "There's no way
With you I would stay;
You'll just have to play with your staff."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0308
Your rejection does not make me weep.
I did not want your heart
But your most useful part,
Which is much like the one on my sheep."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0308
The thought of a poke from my pike.
So until "when" or "if",
I'll just have to sniff,
The saddle attached to her bike.
--- Tiddy Ogg
It's okay to have you a jiff!
But there won't be no jokes
If it's caught in the spokes,
So beware if your dangler gets stiff.
--- Kaylin
And thanks for concern for my cock; it
Is true, once before,
It got rather sore,
When caught 'twixt the chain and the sprocket.
--- Kaylin
A teacher he'd been; had to stop.
Those fifteen year old
Gals came on too bold;
He knew his restraint he'd soon drop.
--- Anon
This is file xzm
Walk round in their cut-off tight jeans.
You can see curly hair
And midriffs quite bare,
Enough to make any man cream.
--- Anon
There's no need to brag or to shout;
I need just thirty secs
To finish my sex,
Including a pee after I'm out.
--- Anon
Who went for a tramp in the park.
And he went for her,
And the feathers and fur
Were flying till long after dark.
--- Lims Unlimited
Was always quite ready to play.
She'd start, hot and bright,
The previous night,
And keep it up all the next day.
--- Isaac Asimov
Spent the night trying to fondle and nudge 'em.
When he cooed "I'm excited,"
She became quite requited,
And it took her till dawn to dislodge 'im.
--- Arthur Deex P0109
I took her while the wind did blow.
I promised her muk-muk,
If she would just fuck-fuck.
All through the long nite, asses did go.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who looked like your average ex-con.
Different girls every night
Kept him out of sight,
And John kept on screwing till dawn!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Listen and you'll hear her hum.
It's nearly an hour;
Thank God he's got power.
Longer and Dick would be numb.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose girl thought she was in Nirvana.
According to her
He'd enter "ayer"
And seldom withdrew till "manana".
--- Pedro J Saavedra P8203
My body is battered and sore.
It was all right,
But it's taking all night,
And frankly's becoming a bore."
--- Nell Dean
I can only give my assurance
That at eighteen they're fine,
With a bottle of wine,
And a condom to use as insurance.
--- Anna Gates
Thinks sex is just really great.
He says it's a crime
If you don't take the time,
To do it for five hours straight.
--- Thomas Patton
Once swore he would screw a young dolly.
"For twelve hours, I'll engage her,"
And he laid down his wager.
We all laughed, but he did it, by golly.
--- Isaac Asimov
Can make love without stopping for weeks,
And their wives, it appears,
Can keep coming for years--
It sounds like they're all fucking freaks.
--- Michael Horgan
Making women hump 'til their sore.
They go 'til their pleasure
Has run it's full measure,
And return the next day for some more!
--- Anon
Two bonks from above and I've shot 'em.
So, prolonging my power
For hour after hour,
I boink buxom babes from the bottom.
--- John Miller
Had a longstanding tryst with Marie;
For they started to screw
At a quarter-to-two
And they came at a quarter-past-three.
--- Cap'n Bean P0106
Of her husband's amorous ways.
"My thighs spread for hours
When he brings me flowers."
Miss Hays exclaimed, "Heavens! No vase?"
--- Bob Giandomenico P9003
For hours we went to and fro.
On nailing her ass,
'Twas plumb out of gas,
So promptly, I gave her some mo'.
--- SFA
Are enabled, like camels, to mate
For a week and a quarter
On a liter of water --
Just imagine how long on a date!
--- Thomas A Quinine P8407
"Good heavens, she cometh so soon?"
"I hope so," said Jack
As he plundered her crack,
But I've only been going since noon!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Such pleasure is so hard to bear.
Our loins pressed together,
(It feels like forever...)
There's hardly a moment to spare.
--- Jayne
I gasp and pull out of that pink
Lovely labial space,
While regaining my pace,
And hope that my pecker won't shrink.
--- Tutta Gioia
Between keeping your cool and her hot --
These girls with their four-
Teen orgaasms, how bor-
Ing for guys who have only one shot.
--- Lucy
"You'll explode if you hump any faster!"
So he then turned her over
To imitate Rover,
And thus became a much longer laster!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And her offer has much to attract!
I'd spend the whole day
'Tween her legs and just play.
And once there, I may never come back.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Feared no man would have adequate skill.
Though many had laid her,
There were none who'd out-stayed her,
Or endured until she'd had her fill.
--- Isaac Asimov
And the neighbors attitudes are glum.
For they know what occurs,
And they're glad she gets hers --
But their milk's late 'cause he doesn't come.
--- Grand Prix Lim 308
And treat with extreme veneration,
The gigantic dong.
But I think they're wrong;
It's not so much size as duration.
--- Ericka
But cannot come(!) up to your test:
My ejaculation
Lacks the duration
At 38 seconds at best.
--- John Miller
But I'll take every second you've got;
As long as it's clean,
And your teeth ain't green,
And you promise to hit the right spot.
--- Carol
Who started a trembling and purring.
Said the chef, "Are you ready?"
She said, "Not yet, Freddie.
I believe I would like some more stirring."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0323
And open my sleepy, blue eyes;
The first thing I do
(Repeatedly, too!)
Is slide my 'rise' between her thighs!
--- Anon
They want all their passion-needs met,
With foreplay and licking,
And hours of dicking,
Then nag when the sheets are all wet!
--- Travis
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