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A stout Gaelic warrior, McPherson, From Lymington, Charlotte Androtti; A young tightrope walker named Darius Exclaimed a young girl in Kildare, It's only human nature after all A sympathy fuck, so you say? Fucking is a filthy deed.--I like it. My member, dear Dark, is all right, A rose is a rose is a rose, A Georgia-boy made it vocational I happened to be passing through, It's Sunday the day we should rest An overjoyed lady named Hample With his lot, man has not been contented; A young lady investor, Miss Finches, I really don't know about mice, (apologies to Bobby Burns - McW)
There was an Israeli girl, Shevar, In the old days in downtown Beirut, There once lived a man named Don Twitty, In an area ten miles around Gypsum, There was a young lady of Lundy, There's a young man in old Keokuck; Claimed a practical swinger named Mix, I said this to June, my bedmate: "I list," bragged a lecher named Brower, There was a young girl of Aberystwyth, The author proclaimed in his script Said a cute Dixie pixie in Raleigh, A cheerful old party of Lucknow, (Published 1879)
I sing of the beauties of sex, There once was a jolly old bloke I float like a butterfly, sting At six...yes!...I had my first lay! I may be outrageously fickle, I welcome the coming of spring; A Texan Rhodes Scholar named Fred, (congress - getting together, get it? Oh well . . .McW)
There was a young fellow named Marty, Said an analyst famed for dissentions, There was an old cynic named Slocum There was a young girl from Bordeaux, In a car, in the shower, in the hay; There was a young lady from Rye, Said a decadent wench of Bombay: "Some things are exciting to me, "Last night," said a lassie named Ruth, "The beds are all full," said Miranda, A wellbred young miss from old Raleigh, We've all gone remarkably quiet -- Said the canny faith healer of Deal, A gracious young hostess named Ewing, Said a mystified minx named McMace, With my dick in a dyke I'd feel silly, A full Sunday lunch with some booze, Sneered that prudish Victorian, Hutch, That hoary old adage we kenned, "Strange pleasures we've always pursued," There was a young couple from Mucking Said a guy to his gal, quite ambitiously, An unhappy damsel of Snyder A gentleman from Manitoba, There was a young lady, named Anna Ma Nature libidos doth quench, A couple was fishing near Clombe, A young man at work as a boatswain, I lay in this idyll bucolic, The smell of wet turnips and Swedes,
Was fucking a captive, a person
Who was not averse,
Though she had the curse,
And he'd breeches of bristling furs on.
--- L0320
A sailing wench, that is our Lottie.
At Cowes-week regatta
At last her I gotta,
And reamed yachty Lottie's young body.
--- Anon
Would fuck in a manner precarious.
He was asked to account
For his dangerous mount.
He replied with a smile, "'Twas hilarious."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0677
As her lover's jock towered in air,
"If that goes in me I
Shall certainly die,
As I shall if it does not go there."
--- L0873
If a fellow puts a girl against the wall,
And put his inclination, into her accomodation,
To increase the population of the rising generation,
Why, it's only human nature, after all.
--- L0368
It felt really good anyway.
The point is I got some
While you wanked away, scum.
Hey Carol! Please come out and play.
--- Anon
It satisfies a normal need.--I like it.
It makes you sick, it makes you well,
It turns your spine to fucking jell,
It damns you soul to Eternal Hell!--I like it.
--- G2313
It don't need your dumb spammer's shite.
It's happy, my root,
In a red-headed beaut,
On whom I can bounce all the night.
--- Q
But still I am thinking that those
Whose petals intwine
That stalk that is mine,
Are the best when there's sleet or it snows.
--- John Miller
To make his love-life interracial.
The girls he'd pursue
Were not of his hue,
But the sex they enjoyed was sensational.
--- Bruce Thompson
And thought I would offer this view:
I really am glad
That NO sex is bad...
Some's better than others, that's true.
--- Anon
And re-charge all our batteries lest
Our poor brains turn to mush;
But I'm thinking that lusc-
ious voluptuous love-making's best.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Remarked to the salesman, "You're ample."
With a smile on his face
He reached for his case
And said, "This one is simply a sample."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0188
By compulsion to change, he's tormented.
At improvement he strains,
But the screw still remains
Just as good as it first was invented.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2001A
Was observing the oil rigs and winches.
She said, "Though it's fun
To see deep drilling done,
I am thrilled if I'm drilled for six inches."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0139
Or whatever they think is nice.
While they go and play,
If things don't gang agley,
My best plan is getting laid -- twice.
--- Norm Storer P9812
Who was always full of endeavor.
Her tight Jewish cunt
Could do many-a-stunt.
I could fuck her forever and ever.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I would frolic in my birthday suit,
With a lady so fair
Who had long golden hair,
And who played on my long-handled flute.
--- Tom Patton P9607
Who polled all the men in the city.
The sex they liked best:
Above all the rest,
Was screwing a tight pussy-kitty.
--- Laurence Craft
Once a gal's caught by Hal, the guy strips 'em.
He gives fillies rare fun
As he gets off his gun
In the sport for which Nature equips 'em.
--- G0608
Began fresh affairs every Monday.
Thus enlarging each week,
Her erotic technique.
Whilst chastely abstaining each Sunday.
--- W F N Watson
With the girls he has had lousy luck.
Then he found a girl
Who gave him a whirl
And a good (OBSCENITY STRUCK).
--- Ed Wolfert P8212
"The best reason for sex is just kicks;
Who would want to feel tender
For the feminine gender --
What you know isn't broken, don't fix."
--- Armand E Singer 761
"I'm glad we decided to date.
My prior love-life
Was loaded with strife,
And I'm glad I don't have to inflate."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
"My high points of sexual power:
Unrestrained kama-sutra
On the wild Brahmaputra,
And fucking Monroe in the shower."
--- Armand Singer
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.
--- Algernon C Swinburn
How man over kisses has flipped,
But there's nothing so fine
As the feeling divine
When the prick in the pussy is dipped.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2292a
"While some say that screwing is folly,
If they'd just compare sex
To psychological wrecks,
They'd admit then, that sex is quite jolly!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 814
Remarked, "I should just like a fuck now!"
So he had one and spent,
And said, "I'm content.
By no means am I so cunt-struck now."
--- L1470
Old-fashioned, new fangled, complex,
Delayed or non-stop,
Beneath or on top,
Upended, concave, or convex.
--- Armand Singer
Who picked up a girl for a poke.
He took down her pants,
Fucked her into a trance,
And then shit in her shoe for a joke.
--- L0272
Like a bee, and I'm likely to sing
When I'm in the shower,
Or when I deflower
A lass, when I'm jabbing her thing.
--- Anon
"Too early!" some folks here will say;
With them I agree;
Tomorrow I'll see,
If nine is the right time of day!
--- Travis Brasell
This is file xum
And oft get myself in a pickle,
But until I drop,
I won't ever stop
Pursuing a good slap and tickle.
--- SFA
My dong sends a familiar ding
Through my body and brains.
There will be some stains
On her mattress, with a broken spring.
--- Anon
Was a witty companion in bed.
With priapic zest
He would toss off each jest.
"I am standing for congress," he said.
--- Lyndon T. Mole
Who at sex was delightfully hearty.
With a girl, he'd get in her,
On the floor, during dinner,
Which surely enlivened the party.
--- Isaac Asimov
With Puritan Anglo-Saxon pretensions,
The sexual aim
Is always the same
And that's the release of our tensions.
--- Glenn F Baker
Whose dicta were pretty much hokum.
But this he did say,
So true in its way,
Girls love you to death if you poke 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 786
Whose mother said, "Always say no!"
But the girl said "No," after
The fun when, with laughter,
She'd screwed her good friend, Pierrot.
--- Isaac Asimov
First there's touchy feely foreplay.
After that, him and her
Whose emotions concur,
Can expect an exceptional lay.
--- Esther Koch
Who was roundly misused by a guy.
She did not feel abused,
At being so used.
She was happy to give it a try.
--- John Ciardi
"This has been a most wonderful day.
Three cherry tarts,
At least twenty farts,
Two shits and a bloody fine lay."
--- G1356
Like nipples and elbows," said Leigh;
"And whether I'm plumbing
Or contemplate coming,
A union suits me to a tee."
--- Ed Potts P8507
"In a long-distance telephone booth,
I enjoyed the perfection
Of an ideal connection.
I was screwed, if you must know the truth."
--- L0341
To her beau, with commendable candor.
"And our antique chaise longue
Is not very strong,
So why don't we try the verandah?"
--- G0132
Met a man from New York on the trolly.
When she said to the guy,
"Y'all come, don't be shy,"
He gave her a volley, by golly!
--- Anon
Of course, it is Saturday night.
And what are we doing?
We all are off screwing
A warm and wet pussy that's tiet.
--- Archie
"As the sins of the flesh are not real,
I invite my well bred
Female patients to bed
To enjoy what we fancy we feel."
--- A N Wilkins P8507
Believed she had only been doing,
Her ladylike best,
To welcome a guest,
And was startled when he called it "screwing."
--- John Ciardi
"The prudes claim that all sex is base.
While the motions are silly,
The kick is a dilly!
Also, what's to be done in its place?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 823
'Cause there's a much better place for my willy;
In the cunt or the ass
Of a willing young lass,
And, believe me, that's more of a thrilly.
--- Klass
Then I'm certainly up for a snooze.
But I still think siesta
Is twenty times besta,
Proceded by pleasure in twos.
--- Indiana Millwart
"Human morals just don't come to much.
Half the world's population
O.K.s fornication,
Not to speak of perversions and such."
--- Armand Singer
Sees the cost of a romantic weekend:
"Two days of pure lust
Will leave one of you mussed,
And the other one wonderfully weakened."
--- Anon
Said the very inventive young dude.
"So you'll have to confess,
Though we're stuck with the mess,
It was better than coming unglued."
--- Pierce Evans
Who disapproved strongly of sucking.
So they spent day and night
In chaste delight,
Just fucking and fucking and fucking.
--- G0887
"I will screw you, my dear, expeditiously."
The lass simply smiled,
Said, "Delightful! Just Wild!"
And it all ended simply deliciously.
--- Isaac Asimov
Remarked to Bill Ryde, then astride her,
That she'd like to state
She disdained so much weight,
But she DID enjoy what was inside her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 75
Met a maid, with intent to disroba.
After much hearty sex,
They'd sit back and relex,
Drinking tea made form Gingko biloba.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose urge was for honey and manna.
But then she met Knut
Who gave her the fruit,
And now she enjoys his banana!
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen
When thou findeth a suitable wench.
Her haggis which reeketh,
Blood sausage doth seeketh,
To fill with black pudding her trench.
--- Anon
When the maid began looking quite glum,
And said, "Bother the fish!
I'd rather coish!"
Which they did -- Which was why they had come.
--- L0122
Was never the one to be frozen.
The captain's young daughter
Lived there on the water,
And for warmth, it was he that she'd chosen.
--- Anon
Sustained by a drink alcoholic.
As the nightingale soars
And the rain downward pours,
With Mavis I have fun and frolics.
--- Anon
A scent that no perfume exceeds,
And the rain, so they say,
Keeps the midges away [mosquitoes]
As we tumble away in the weeds.
--- Anon
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