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I once knew a man quite Teutonic, This morning I bucked myself silly, The sexual games we'd enjoy I once had a rodeo queen, You're riding no mare and I trust "To warble and sing is not bad," There was a young lady of Annick, The things that I mostly detest When fucking, a lady of Woking His girlfriend wanted to jump in, There once was a girl named Sue; A lusty young farmgirl named May A hot-pussied dolly named Hunt (bunt - a push or shove with the head)
A hot little number Miss Danius, An amorous maiden antique There's nothing the bridegroom would rather "My darling," she said with a smile, A young fellow I knew named McSore All reference books will soon show, There was a young rounder named Fisk, Sex was painful with my young blonde twinkie; A lusty young maid in Mt Shasta There's a damsel in Medicine Hat When life on the edges is fraying A dizzy young dancer named Tillie There once was a girl from Temacula, Red Neckman, a cobbler in Runyon, Red measured Miss Clara's foot size, Miss Clara waxed bold with her toes, Miss Clara's most flexible sight Red moved with great swiftness and hustle, Red's cobbler's shop was a small place, For 69 days they went 'round Oh, yes, they made love again later; Miss Clara's and Red Neckman's land, Miss Clara's new shoes healed her bunion, An offer I cannot resist; Then while you're still squirming and bucking, "I want it, like instantly, Sam. They're all part of one great big clan, Those southern fems are pretty loose; When 'tween her spread legs you will fall; Simultaneously hopping around But you softened my landing, my dear, No! Don't get up! Stay down here! He hath waxed poetic to woo me, We'll do it out under the stars, There once was a fellow from Saxe, When we're tummy to tummy, my dear, Advice from old Simon Legree A bouncy young lass from Des Moines There was a nosepicker named Scott A bird in the hand is so prime; During wintertime up at the Sault A deadly dull doodler named Biddle Said William, "Oh, dear mistress mine, When teaching me Econ one day, A fireman does not use a hose, At first I'll be your fire stoker, Being gullied, the girlie told Pete A wonton young lady from Wimley, St. Paul himself peddled the line The scientist sweats and he grunts A profligate charmer named Herm, Said a girl from Staraya Russa, If judged by the lovers I keep, I've enjoyed all these moments we've had,
Whose speed was just supersonic.
When he fired his rocket,
It roared out of his pocket,
And our love is no longer platonic.
--- Anon
While trying to break a new filly
From raring when mounted,
But I should not have counted
On her wearing panties so frilly!
--- Anon
At 18 when we were a boy,
Their bio clock
Starts going tick-tock,
And they want to play with our toy.
--- Anon
Who snarled, spat and cussed so obscene,
My brain she would addle.
While she's in the saddle;
Her dismounts would rupture my spleen.
--- Frank
You know you're inflaming my lust.
I'm a bucking stallion,
My horny rapscallion;
Prepare for a rodeo thrust.
--- Anon
Said Rueben, the neighbor's bold lad,
"But a romp in the hay
Is a much better way
To celebrate Spring and be glad!"
--- Wootner
Whom a stranger threw into a panic.
For he frigged her and fucked her,
And buggered and sucked her,
With a glee hardly short of Satanic.
--- L1129
When drilling a chick with one breast,
Is that lopsided feeling
And her God-awful squealing
In response to the acts I suggest.
--- Mark Levy P9612
Reacted so fast to the poking
That her gyratory motion
Cause heat and commotion,
And her arsehole and cunt started smoking.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2560
When she saw how he was a-pumpin'.
But before they were through,
She was all black-and-blue.
He was just too rough in his humpin'!
--- Kaylin Brandon
In the bedoom she knew what to do.
She'd jump on your pelvis
And shake it like Elvis,
Until you had filled her with goo.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had no use at all for foreplay.
If a beau took too long
Before coming on strong,
She'd kick him right out of the hay.
--- Macsam
Remarked to friend Joe in her cunt:
"Keep up the hard poking
To keep my cunt smoking,
And after you come--you can bunt!"
--- G0619
Had screwed many men miscellaneous.
When a friend did inquire
Why men set her on fire,
Her combustion, she said, was spontaneous.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2007
Locked a man in her house for a week.
He entered her door
With a shout and a roar,
But his exit was marked by a squeak
--- Myler Magrath
Than to stop his brides telephone blather.
So he threw her in bed
And without a word said,
They worked up a strong silent lather.
--- Bruce Thompson
"I must say that you fuck with great style,
But three times a minute
Is over the limit.
Do you mind if we rest for a while?"
--- Michael Horgan
Had wild sex with a girl on the floor.
And the thrust of her bust
With the lust in the dust,
Left him eager and panting for more.
--- Moony TP9802
You must match power in with outflow.
The best way I know,
To make that flab go,
Is to practise the horizontal tango.
--- Anon
Whose method of screwing was brisk.
And his reason was, "If
The damned bitch has syph,
This way I'm reducing the risk."
--- L1092
She played rough and got way too kinky.
She pulled and she tugged;
For the camera she mugged;
And she thought my stick was a slinky.
--- Mel Prophet
Did urge her true love to pump faster;
Her cattle-prod flashed
As he thrusted and thrashed;
A good man will do what he has-ta.
--- Anon
Who will warn all her gentlemen that
"When I'm toute exposee
At the height of the play,
I am never quite sure where I'm at!"
--- Keith MacMillan 90b
And Old Father Time comes a-greying,
With the girl of your dreams
Life ain't all bad it seems,
When you get down to wild DNA-ing.
--- Val Burns P0609
Said, "Willy, you're perfectly silly.
What's wrong with your noodle?
I said diddle, not doodle--
You're to lay me today, willy-nilly!"
--- G0204
Whose skills 'tween the sheets was spectacula.
Men came far and wide,
But Oh! What a ride!
It left them like they were tubercula.
--- Phil Wahl
Made shoes to ease Miss Clara's bunion;
Miss Clara was wealthy,
And portly, but healthy:
Her big ass was shaped like an onion.
--- Travis Brasell
And snuck a quick glance up her thighs;
She gave a slight giggle,
Which made her ass wiggle.
Her 'onion' brought tears to Red's eyes!
--- Anon
By rubbing the bulge of Red's 'hose';
But then in a flash
She untied her sash,
And touched her toes to her own nose!
--- Anon
Made Neckman aghast with delight;
Miss Clara then said,
"Well, go ahead Red,
My 'onion' is sweet, take a bite!"
--- Anon
Removing Miss Clara's large bustle,
And laced woolen frock,
As well as his smock:
What happened next was a hot tussle!
--- Anon
Restricting their mobile embrace;
Miss Clara and Red
Then right quickly fled
The town, to a wide open space.
--- Anon
And 'round, as Red pounded her mound;
'Cross hundreds of miles,
Miss Clara wore smiles,
As she and Red churned up hard ground.
--- Anon
This is file xvm
No sex between two has been greater;
When they were through screwing
They both stood there viewing
The hole that they'd dug -- a huge crater!
--- Anon
Today is in heavy demand;
The hole of that pair
Gets everyone's stare;
They all say their canyon is "Grand!"
--- Anon
And Red retired -- richest in Runyon!
Now both are departed,
But look what they started
When Red bit Miss Clara's sweet 'onion'!
--- Anon
Hold my stiffie (like that) in your fist.
I'm a gentleman, dear,
So I'll lick you right here,
And I'll make you come first, I insist.
--- Anon
I'll stop all my licking and sucking,
And give you a ride
With my stiffie inside
You and finish the deed with a fucking.
--- Anon
No touching; no tweaking; just WHAM!
No licking; no sucking;
Just ANIMAL fucking...
I'm malaxophobic, I am.
--- Peter Wilkins
When it comes to their sexual plan.
Intimacy's out.
Phobia? I doubt.
I'd just call it "Typical Man."
--- Ericka
Well equiped with a fast blowing fuse.
And so apt to arouse
When there's meat in the house;
Their manhandling just borders abuse.
--- Anon
It's her who'll be having the ball.
In fact she'll have two,
She'll get them from you -
Then chomp on your dick till you squall!
--- Anon
In the panties while pounding your mound,
In a daze, unaware,
I tripped over a chair,
And we fell with a thud to the ground.
--- Peter Wilkins
For you fell underneath me, I fear
That I've caused you some hurt
To your beautiful pert
Little tips and your peach of a rear.
--- Peter Wilkins
I'm not injured in front or in rear!
Since we're in a position
For resuming coition,
Let's do it. Oh! and pay the cashier!
--- Ericka
Forsooth, doth titillate, I prithee;
Yet, down here in Texas
We think of our sex as
A buckin' bronc ride, wild and free.
--- Anon
In the backseats of long limo cars,
With Lord Fauntleroys,
Or rugged cowboys,
But never on-line...won't it scar?
--- Anon
Who liked making the beast with two backs.
The position was mean,
And his gal wasn't keen;
The whole thing was anticlimax.
--- Annie Jay
The position to greet the new year;
Then, my small head is boss;
'Tween my ears, there's just moss;
I go mad while you're baking my spear!
--- Anon
Was barely worth more than his pee.
For instance, "Work hard"
Is one dumb canard,
The best screws in life are still free!
--- Mark Levy P9606
Ignited a fire in my loins.
When we were done,
I found it more fun
Than hobbies involving rare coins.
--- Mike Desso
Who said, as he dug out some snot,
"There are things that are grand
When you do them by hand,
But they're better when done with a twat."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2285A
Beats two in the bush, says the rhyme.
But the boys down in Kush
Think a bird in the bush,
Is worth two in the hand every time.
--- John E Maywood
It is chilly -- there's nothing to do;
So they cope with the freeze
Like the birds and the bees,
And the birthrate goes up quite a few.
--- Hugh Oliver 76a
Said, "A doodle is not like a diddle.
Though both are just fiddling,
But compared, doodling's middling
To diddling a dilly's hot middle.
--- Grand Prix Lim 994 A
The distinction may be rather fine,
But if you're assumin'
That sinning is human,
Be assured sex with you is divine.
--- Isaac Asimov
A professor was heard to then say,
"When supply meets demand,
Then throughout the land,
No one will be alone for sex play.
--- Ming-mei Wu
He stokes a boiler till it glows.
But a firefighter might,
Use his hose everynight,
To put out my flames, I suppose.
--- Anon
Your kisser, your hugger, your stroker.
And then with my balls
I'll bombard your walls
With relief and make that fire a smoker!
--- Anon
Of continually being in heat.
Said Pete, "There's no pleasure
Which in any way measures
With the putting of meat into meat."
--- Grand Prix Lim 294
Reproached for not acting quite primly,
Answered, "Heavens above,
I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an attractive facsimile."
--- Anon
That the flesh is weak. Therefore, in fine,
When a man meets a woman,
To err is quite human,
But the way that it feels is divine.
--- A N Wilkins P8606
As problems anew he confronts.
He is solving the scheme
That God managed to dream,
Which is making pricks feel good in cunts.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0464a
Rejoiced in the spreading of sperm;
He got a true thrill
Imposing his will,
And finding a home for his worm.
--- Armand Singer
Whom the war had made looser and looser,
"Yes, I'm wormin' a German,
A vermin named Herman,
But his dink is a lollapalooza!"
--- L1060
Then I ought to be dug six feet deep.
For I'm never alone
With my bone in a bone,
Plus it's healthy, it's fun, and it's cheap.
--- Phil T
So it's painful to see you get mad.
The gent that I am,
I yield the last slam.
It was fun, it was cool, it was rad!
--- Anon
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