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In hopes of avoiding embarrassment, There was a MP at Westminster A student named Stewart F. Lance There was a wood packer named Hood, "Emergency drill, lads and lasses! An innocent maid from Madras, Alopecia had stricken the frames, A conductor whose tempo has heat, Eva Braun, history's records allow, A hooker with asthma, old Rose, A gay jazz ensemble in Cush A hooker, unclad save one red sock, Good time party girls drinking and feeding, For her wedding, a comely Girl Guide Dirt roads dozed by muckers and crawlers, A Rubenesque hooker, far plumper They tossed farmer Spooner in jail Franklin Roosevelt's dog, aides would warn ya, Asked a riddler of Tiddius Wacker, They both may have giants and runts, A chorus-line differs, you dunce, A rummy from Oxford named Cottle After finishing all of her running, The circus boss constantly hunts A young farmer thought farming was great. "Dime-A-Dance" girls as they were once billed, A maladroit moyel named Zwicks, A very strange fellow named Powell Reverend Spooner, who kept the ship's log, Female Aleut carpenter twits, A babe lost its diaper then tore To use sex as a cure-all, Ms Weaver A brothel had lumberjack callers, A procrastinator of late A designer of fences can braze Homosexuals ardently pray for, A Dutch lad, libido a-surge, Ill-wed to a social misfit, Prince William would bugger a group Frenzied groupies will often amok race, There was a young lady named Pope, The pimp, a muleskinner named Morrie, The fastfood guys all watch their clocks The imperious golfer who struts, While serving the fleet on two fronts, Where Fibreglass barques are thought chic, Marriage counselors these days are rife, The gay women's sports team just brims, Through chapped lips, a gay Brit lipped on chaps, The fellows all thought her fantastic, Though with Spoonerisms afflicted was she, The wanker who's ever in heat, Near a shiny light beer can was Dwight, An abuser of poultry, they say, If we fancy an orgy with zest, Stein plied her with oysters and wine A female dog walker with shrugs, A Scots sailor, name of McPhee, An affable new oyster shucker, A bony old harlot named Gluck, Once, a girl playing strip poker, "I'm sure I remember those knees; you're Scotland's quaint local color's a treat, A massage parlor mistress would treat, One can see from his priapic stance, Two bull dykes; one stout and one slim, A libertine, after a quake
Ewell Harris, sans closet, to Paris went,
To seek friends 'tres gai',
But folks knew right away--
And laughed at the sex Ewell Harris meant.
--- Norm Storer P9302A
Who did naughtly things with a spinster.
At first she resisted
But when he persisted,
The sighs of the Member convinced her
--- John Dole P9604a
Spent seven semesters in France;
When his daddy asked, "Stu,
In Paree were you blue?"
The son said, "Give grammar a chance!"
--- Armand E Singer 8
Whose eyesight was not very good.
And what's more, to his shame,
He was palsied and lame,
Which, no doubt, came from packing his wood.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0205
A build-up of dangerous gases
Foretells an explosion,
So please put in motion
Your buttocks," said Xavier Onassis.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Did not know the difference, alas,
'Twixt a snake and a goose;
The answer, abstruse,
A snake is an asp in the grass.
--- Ed Potts P8508a
Of a girl's baseball team's lusty dames,
Even so, hard to beat,
For were fast on their feet,
Sliding home on called bunts to win games.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0410
Commands music's loftiest seat.
Some, when filled with desire,
Many times will inspire,
Orchestras to meeting their beat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0609
Was perturbed by her pilleous prow.
When she went for a swim,
Adolf tonsured her quim,
Thereby soothing his hot, beavered frau.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802
Is incessantly blowing her nose,
Yet does not miss a trick
For she's really quite slick,
And skillful at knowing her blows.
--- Bob Giandomenico
Found the bulls' raffish offer to push
Their sphincters absurd,
Cause it's known that a herd
In the band, is worth boo in the tush.
--- Anon
Lay sprawled on her hastily shed smock;
Deep lines etched her face,
From long carnal embrace,
Her back tired and worn out of bedlock.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001
While away the wee hours unheeding,
Predisposed to regale,
And such fun to impale,
That they seem custom-made for fest breeding.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001
Hired Spooner, the tailor, who tried
To make gowns for the ladies,
And surer than Hades,
Succeeded in gowning the bride.
--- Jemstone
For transport for truckers and haulers,
Carry trees that were chopped,
Dropped, topped, lopped, and cropped,
By a bunch of fine buckers and fallers.
--- Jerry Nordal P9805
Than others, had men mad to jump her.
With great lust they would burn,
For her bosom and stern,
She indeed, a well used busty rumper.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608
When his date bought too much at a sale.
She cried, "It's a jumble!
Please tie up my bundle!"
And they charged him with tying her bale.
--- Jemstone P0412
As terriers go, few were hornier.
His assaults from the rear
Had guests quaking with fear,
An outrage to have Fala Corn ya.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802
"Since conundrums you're oft an unpacker,
How alike is a Ritz
To a licker of clits ... ?"
"Well, one is a famous snack cracker."
--- Travis Brasell
A pimp or a pitchman, as fronts.
A whorehouse has not,
Like circuses got,
A cunning array of great stunts.
--- Larry Davis P8508a
From a dog-act -- you must see at once,
That the dog-act is proud
Of showing the crowd
A cunning array of their stunts.
--- Ed Potts P8508a
Got twisted of tongue from the bottle,
Like "quite stunning cunts"
For "bright cunning stunts,"
Or "not worth a tit nor a jottle."
--- Armand E Singer 604
On her patio, nude, she was sunning.
Her body was fine,
And her face was divine,
And her stunt was especially cunning.
--- Cap'n Bean P9911
For cunning arrangements of stunts.
The madame hunts too,
But she will make do,
With stunning arrangements of cunts.
--- Larry Davis P8711
Met a traveling sales girl named Kate.
In the cow barn they screwed
And did other things lewd;
He was glad to have had a merry date.
--- Tom Patton P0001
To their doubtful charm, lonely men thrilled.
And for just a bit more,
They'd perform on the floor.
Dance room balling at which they were skilled.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806
Did magic acts weekends for kicks,
With these and his brisses,
He made many misses,
As well as some oddly dimmed tricks.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0409
Stuck a stick up his ass, gave a howl.
He then pulled it out
And with a great shout,
Wiped off his butt on the turdy dowel.
--- Tom Patton
Recorded each zig-zag and jog
Through the mist and the rain
And went on to explain
That the Captain was ducking the fog.
--- John E Mayhood
To raise company morale did their bits,
When at various times,
During winter's cold climes,
They'd display to the staff their tool kits.
--- Bob Giandomenico
On all fours, at great speed, 'cross the floor,
Like those birds of great verve,
One can often observe,
That now and then flit on the shore.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9411
Has become a most eager believer.
When her temperature soars,
She takes off her drawers,
And asks me to help buck her fever.
--- Jerry Nordal P0406
Among whom were drinkers and brawlers,
Which the girls didn't mind,
But the very best kind,
They found were the buckers and fallers.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0609
This is file xrl
Was told by St. Pete at the Gate,
"You know very well
You've been sentenced to Hell,
For repeatedly ducking your fate".
--- Jemstone
A rampart that ably allays
Dog's desires to roam
Or to wander from home,
And his company's called "Gates & Strays."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
A partner who worships; to play for.
For when all's done and said,
In the boudoir and bed,
One only can pet what one's gay for.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608
Found wanking a pet way to purge.
When his ma, in distress,
Found his sheets such a mess,
"Lo, thou, and goo dikewise," would urge.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712a
She would not, to his carping, submit.
So, spooneristically,
She, euphemistically,
Proclaimed him her great shining wit.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608
Of scouts on an wilderness troop.
When a fly-fisher stirred,
He swears that he heard,
"Hey, wader, an heir's in my poop!"
--- Anon
To the stage door and there with the flock face,
Every star who departs,
And with fast-beating hearts,
Yearn to be 'tween a hard and a rock place.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712
Who said, " I don't sit down and mope,
But chuckle and laugh
And sing in my bath,
And come out my soul full of hope!"
--- P9005
Achieved ample financial glory.
To lonely men on the range,
He sold sex somewhat strange,
And said business was just donkey whorey.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0406
And at breaktime they display their cocks.
Should the cop on the beat
Ever stop by to eat,
You can bet they'll be back in the jocks.
--- Arthur Deex P9802
From his drives but then bungles his putts,
Will soon find that such play
Makes for scores, judges say,
That will warrant a nick in the cuts.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9901
Two hookers did not wash for months,
Then ordered off limits
By Admiral Nimitz,
Appalled by their loose, kinky stunts.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9808a
Crafts of wood are considered antique.
Though, as sailors well know
For a sail, steam, or row
There's nothing like laking a teak.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608
Charging fees as they weigh married strife.
I should have known sooner
That doctor named Spooner
Would charge me for weighing my life.
--- Jemstone
With a bevy that runs, bikes and swims,
Who only would traffic,
With girls who were Sapphic,
Most especially those who'd quick limbs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0306
Who lapped chips in a pub near the taps.
His teeth were a-snaggle,
So he left a gaggle
Of sore chaps with severely chipped laps.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9610a
Performing her tricks so gymnastic,
Her panties start sliding,
It's all so exciting,
They're all glad of that Lucy Lastic.
--- Anon
When propositioned, spoke immediately;
She confused him instead,
When she passionately said,
"Yes, yes, my darling--make tea!"
--- Jim Menger P9207
To ply, unassisted, this feat,
Like a drummer on traps,
Who will flail, without lapse,
Metronomically meeting his beat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712
Slyly dropping his trousers one night
In a bar in Rangoon,
Pantomiming the tune:
"By the Moon of the Silvery Light."
--- Cyber Geezer
Caused his family the deepest dismay.
Evermore on the prowl,
With a bias most foul,
He would howl, "This is my ducky lay!"
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712
Most felchers will fondly suggest
Removing our yap
From you ladylove's lap,
Since it's better to nether one's fest.
--- Hugh Clary
And the date was proceeding just fine.
But as he had feared,
Her husband appeared --
A niche in time might have saved Stein.
--- John E Mayhood
Her charges she fretfully tugs;
Her chest all a-joggle,
As oglers ogle,
Held rapt by those large jerky pugs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0411
Who spoonerized to a degree,
Once shouted, "A wanker!"
Instead of "Weigh anchor!"
And spoke of himself as "PhcMee."
--- Linda Marsh Coll P9912
Would kindly give kitchen help succor,
And for his devotion,
He got a promotion,
To work as a head pheasant plucker.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712
Charged a dollar each time she was stuck.
Once she got sorely miffed
With a john for he stiffed
Her and left her a crisp, phony buck.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511
Lost her panties and just to provoke her,
Her opponent, the shit,
Tried to fondle her clit,
He, being avid pip stroker.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9808
Denise (or Louise) my old squeeze." "You're
Mistaken; I'm Dot
With a hot-to-trot twat."
"Well in that case, I'm sure meat to please ya."
--- Anon
Without which no trip is complete.
So while there, take a tour,
To observe on the moor,
Some old bog digger mounding his peat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0306
Her male clients to pleasures replete;
Her fame spread coast to coast.
CBS had her host,
A prime time show called "Press the Meat."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0410
That no armor could check it's advance.
Unequaled for stabbing,
For jousting and jabbing,
Is a knight with a pump in his lance.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9911
Ran foot-races chasing young trim.
And the one who was thin,
Managed always to win,
So she was the quicker of limb.
--- Bob Giandomenico
Went astray, as I heard it's been spake.
His autobiography,
Now labeled pornography,
Is called "Ardors of the Lost Rake".
--- Anon
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