In hopes of avoiding embarrassment,
Ewell Harris, sans closet, to Paris went,
To seek friends 'tres gai',
But folks knew right away--
And laughed at the sex Ewell Harris meant.
--- Norm Storer P9302A

There was a MP at Westminster
Who did naughtly things with a spinster.
At first she resisted
But when he persisted,
The sighs of the Member convinced her
--- John Dole P9604a

A student named Stewart F. Lance
Spent seven semesters in France;
When his daddy asked, "Stu,
In Paree were you blue?"
The son said, "Give grammar a chance!"
--- Armand E Singer 8

There was a wood packer named Hood,
Whose eyesight was not very good.
And what's more, to his shame,
He was palsied and lame,
Which, no doubt, came from packing his wood.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0205

"Emergency drill, lads and lasses!
A build-up of dangerous gases
Foretells an explosion,
So please put in motion
Your buttocks," said Xavier Onassis.
--- Tiddy Ogg

An innocent maid from Madras,
Did not know the difference, alas,
'Twixt a snake and a goose;
The answer, abstruse,
A snake is an asp in the grass.
--- Ed Potts P8508a

Alopecia had stricken the frames,
Of a girl's baseball team's lusty dames,
Even so, hard to beat,
For were fast on their feet,
Sliding home on called bunts to win games.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0410

A conductor whose tempo has heat,
Commands music's loftiest seat.
Some, when filled with desire,
Many times will inspire,
Orchestras to meeting their beat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0609

Eva Braun, history's records allow,
Was perturbed by her pilleous prow.
When she went for a swim,
Adolf tonsured her quim,
Thereby soothing his hot, beavered frau.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802

A hooker with asthma, old Rose,
Is incessantly blowing her nose,
Yet does not miss a trick
For she's really quite slick,
And skillful at knowing her blows.
--- Bob Giandomenico

A gay jazz ensemble in Cush
Found the bulls' raffish offer to push
Their sphincters absurd,
Cause it's known that a herd
In the band, is worth boo in the tush.
--- Anon

A hooker, unclad save one red sock,
Lay sprawled on her hastily shed smock;
Deep lines etched her face,
From long carnal embrace,
Her back tired and worn out of bedlock.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001

Good time party girls drinking and feeding,
While away the wee hours unheeding,
Predisposed to regale,
And such fun to impale,
That they seem custom-made for fest breeding.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001

For her wedding, a comely Girl Guide
Hired Spooner, the tailor, who tried
To make gowns for the ladies,
And surer than Hades,
Succeeded in gowning the bride.
--- Jemstone

Dirt roads dozed by muckers and crawlers,
For transport for truckers and haulers,
Carry trees that were chopped,
Dropped, topped, lopped, and cropped,
By a bunch of fine buckers and fallers.
--- Jerry Nordal P9805

A Rubenesque hooker, far plumper
Than others, had men mad to jump her.
With great lust they would burn,
For her bosom and stern,
She indeed, a well used busty rumper.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608

They tossed farmer Spooner in jail
When his date bought too much at a sale.
She cried, "It's a jumble!
Please tie up my bundle!"
And they charged him with tying her bale.
--- Jemstone P0412

Franklin Roosevelt's dog, aides would warn ya,
As terriers go, few were hornier.
His assaults from the rear
Had guests quaking with fear,
An outrage to have Fala Corn ya.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802

Asked a riddler of Tiddius Wacker,
"Since conundrums you're oft an unpacker,
How alike is a Ritz
To a licker of clits ... ?"
"Well, one is a famous snack cracker."
--- Travis Brasell

They both may have giants and runts,
A pimp or a pitchman, as fronts.
A whorehouse has not,
Like circuses got,
A cunning array of great stunts.
--- Larry Davis P8508a

A chorus-line differs, you dunce,
From a dog-act -- you must see at once,
That the dog-act is proud
Of showing the crowd
A cunning array of their stunts.
--- Ed Potts P8508a

A rummy from Oxford named Cottle
Got twisted of tongue from the bottle,
Like "quite stunning cunts"
For "bright cunning stunts,"
Or "not worth a tit nor a jottle."
--- Armand E Singer 604

After finishing all of her running,
On her patio, nude, she was sunning.
Her body was fine,
And her face was divine,
And her stunt was especially cunning.
--- Cap'n Bean P9911

The circus boss constantly hunts
For cunning arrangements of stunts.
The madame hunts too,
But she will make do,
With stunning arrangements of cunts.
--- Larry Davis P8711

A young farmer thought farming was great.
Met a traveling sales girl named Kate.
In the cow barn they screwed
And did other things lewd;
He was glad to have had a merry date.
--- Tom Patton P0001

"Dime-A-Dance" girls as they were once billed,
To their doubtful charm, lonely men thrilled.
And for just a bit more,
They'd perform on the floor.
Dance room balling at which they were skilled.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806

A maladroit moyel named Zwicks,
Did magic acts weekends for kicks,
With these and his brisses,
He made many misses,
As well as some oddly dimmed tricks.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0409

A very strange fellow named Powell
Stuck a stick up his ass, gave a howl.
He then pulled it out
And with a great shout,
Wiped off his butt on the turdy dowel.
--- Tom Patton

Reverend Spooner, who kept the ship's log,
Recorded each zig-zag and jog
Through the mist and the rain
And went on to explain
That the Captain was ducking the fog.
--- John E Mayhood

Female Aleut carpenter twits,
To raise company morale did their bits,
When at various times,
During winter's cold climes,
They'd display to the staff their tool kits.
--- Bob Giandomenico

A babe lost its diaper then tore
On all fours, at great speed, 'cross the floor,
Like those birds of great verve,
One can often observe,
That now and then flit on the shore.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9411

To use sex as a cure-all, Ms Weaver
Has become a most eager believer.
When her temperature soars,
She takes off her drawers,
And asks me to help buck her fever.
--- Jerry Nordal P0406

A brothel had lumberjack callers,
Among whom were drinkers and brawlers,
Which the girls didn't mind,
But the very best kind,
They found were the buckers and fallers.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0609

This is file xrl

A procrastinator of late
Was told by St. Pete at the Gate,
"You know very well
You've been sentenced to Hell,
For repeatedly ducking your fate".
--- Jemstone

A designer of fences can braze
A rampart that ably allays
Dog's desires to roam
Or to wander from home,
And his company's called "Gates & Strays."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

Homosexuals ardently pray for,
A partner who worships; to play for.
For when all's done and said,
In the boudoir and bed,
One only can pet what one's gay for.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608

A Dutch lad, libido a-surge,
Found wanking a pet way to purge.
When his ma, in distress,
Found his sheets such a mess,
"Lo, thou, and goo dikewise," would urge.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712a

Ill-wed to a social misfit,
She would not, to his carping, submit.
So, spooneristically,
She, euphemistically,
Proclaimed him her great shining wit.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608

Prince William would bugger a group
Of scouts on an wilderness troop.
When a fly-fisher stirred,
He swears that he heard,
"Hey, wader, an heir's in my poop!"
--- Anon

Frenzied groupies will often amok race,
To the stage door and there with the flock face,
Every star who departs,
And with fast-beating hearts,
Yearn to be 'tween a hard and a rock place.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712

There was a young lady named Pope,
Who said, " I don't sit down and mope,
But chuckle and laugh
And sing in my bath,
And come out my soul full of hope!"
--- P9005

The pimp, a muleskinner named Morrie,
Achieved ample financial glory.
To lonely men on the range,
He sold sex somewhat strange,
And said business was just donkey whorey.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0406

The fastfood guys all watch their clocks
And at breaktime they display their cocks.
Should the cop on the beat
Ever stop by to eat,
You can bet they'll be back in the jocks.
--- Arthur Deex P9802

The imperious golfer who struts,
From his drives but then bungles his putts,
Will soon find that such play
Makes for scores, judges say,
That will warrant a nick in the cuts.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9901

While serving the fleet on two fronts,
Two hookers did not wash for months,
Then ordered off limits
By Admiral Nimitz,
Appalled by their loose, kinky stunts.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9808a

Where Fibreglass barques are thought chic,
Crafts of wood are considered antique.
Though, as sailors well know
For a sail, steam, or row
There's nothing like laking a teak.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608

Marriage counselors these days are rife,
Charging fees as they weigh married strife.
I should have known sooner
That doctor named Spooner
Would charge me for weighing my life.
--- Jemstone

The gay women's sports team just brims,
With a bevy that runs, bikes and swims,
Who only would traffic,
With girls who were Sapphic,
Most especially those who'd quick limbs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0306

Through chapped lips, a gay Brit lipped on chaps,
Who lapped chips in a pub near the taps.
His teeth were a-snaggle,
So he left a gaggle
Of sore chaps with severely chipped laps.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9610a

The fellows all thought her fantastic,
Performing her tricks so gymnastic,
Her panties start sliding,
It's all so exciting,
They're all glad of that Lucy Lastic.
--- Anon

Though with Spoonerisms afflicted was she,
When propositioned, spoke immediately;
She confused him instead,
When she passionately said,
"Yes, yes, my darling--make tea!"
--- Jim Menger P9207

The wanker who's ever in heat,
To ply, unassisted, this feat,
Like a drummer on traps,
Who will flail, without lapse,
Metronomically meeting his beat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712

Near a shiny light beer can was Dwight,
Slyly dropping his trousers one night
In a bar in Rangoon,
Pantomiming the tune:
"By the Moon of the Silvery Light."
--- Cyber Geezer

An abuser of poultry, they say,
Caused his family the deepest dismay.
Evermore on the prowl,
With a bias most foul,
He would howl, "This is my ducky lay!"
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712

If we fancy an orgy with zest,
Most felchers will fondly suggest
Removing our yap
From you ladylove's lap,
Since it's better to nether one's fest.
--- Hugh Clary

Stein plied her with oysters and wine
And the date was proceeding just fine.
But as he had feared,
Her husband appeared --
A niche in time might have saved Stein.
--- John E Mayhood

A female dog walker with shrugs,
Her charges she fretfully tugs;
Her chest all a-joggle,
As oglers ogle,
Held rapt by those large jerky pugs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0411

A Scots sailor, name of McPhee,
Who spoonerized to a degree,
Once shouted, "A wanker!"
Instead of "Weigh anchor!"
And spoke of himself as "PhcMee."
--- Linda Marsh Coll P9912

An affable new oyster shucker,
Would kindly give kitchen help succor,
And for his devotion,
He got a promotion,
To work as a head pheasant plucker.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712

A bony old harlot named Gluck,
Charged a dollar each time she was stuck.
Once she got sorely miffed
With a john for he stiffed
Her and left her a crisp, phony buck.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511

Once, a girl playing strip poker,
Lost her panties and just to provoke her,
Her opponent, the shit,
Tried to fondle her clit,
He, being avid pip stroker.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9808

"I'm sure I remember those knees; you're
Denise (or Louise) my old squeeze." "You're
Mistaken; I'm Dot
With a hot-to-trot twat."
"Well in that case, I'm sure meat to please ya."
--- Anon

Scotland's quaint local color's a treat,
Without which no trip is complete.
So while there, take a tour,
To observe on the moor,
Some old bog digger mounding his peat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0306

A massage parlor mistress would treat,
Her male clients to pleasures replete;
Her fame spread coast to coast.
CBS had her host,
A prime time show called "Press the Meat."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0410

One can see from his priapic stance,
That no armor could check it's advance.
Unequaled for stabbing,
For jousting and jabbing,
Is a knight with a pump in his lance.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9911

Two bull dykes; one stout and one slim,
Ran foot-races chasing young trim.
And the one who was thin,
Managed always to win,
So she was the quicker of limb.
--- Bob Giandomenico

A libertine, after a quake
Went astray, as I heard it's been spake.
His autobiography,
Now labeled pornography,
Is called "Ardors of the Lost Rake".
--- Anon