The satyr of Capitol Hill, Two anally fixated chicks The novel, A Tale of Two Cities-- A wet nurse, so go olden ditties, We often use humor to twit, A dyslexic delinquent named Chuck A locksmith had flair and dispatch, To a hay mow, a farm boy named Jack, A flatulent sculptor would warm, A flatulent student named Norm My rock throwing skills all were honed This Irishman's life, in the bud In football, a female, Sally Hunt A decadent fellow named Fife, The limerick form is a spun art, He met her in New York's Bloomingdale's, For piercing the shiek's throbbing knob, A retired cartoonist, named Lang A hooker who humped Jacques Cousteau, A talented tart who is hot, Reminds me a time, long since flown, Poor Doug's in a Spoonerick phase. An auto-erotic display A sneak thief, name of Hodges, (must have been trained by Jimmie Swaggart)
Doug's Spoonericks have reached the done phase. "Carved Bantams!", the Colonel now cries, The mayor's wife in the small town of Rhyl, Said a nympho, "I strongly declare it, A strike at the factory of canners; An Irishman, fleeing his plight, A dog, Rover, the pet of Ms. Dover, This gossip queen, doyenne of prattle. By the seaside George Gershwin had planned
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A female designer named Hughes As we watch in a fuddle-brained fog, A glass-maker had sent to a fair Dr Spooner's small nephew agrees; It's one of the natural laws: To the bus, eyes jejune and jaws slack, Karl Marx, teaching bowling, explains The woodcarver, Chung, is unique, For the most part, a comma gives cause, Frustrated young Mr. Hall When tresses no longer entassle A musician, although epicene, (epicene - lacking sexual characters)
Giant redwoods, that, having grown tall, When abusing her spouse, Mrs. Hooper, Navy's badminton team, a most stately Hoover Dam never faails to amaze; The pistol range galleries thrive; Pro-lifers and pro-choicers greet us, A wanton young nymphet named Niki, A comic's career hit a snag The Shan of Algiers was a man Imagine please--a butter fly. Said a pretty model named Rose, Doctor Spooner glopped, "Just what'll Cutting mats for an artistic Satyr, Young George at the cherry tree, very With his characteristic ill-luck, He tied words in knots like a Scout A transposing preacher named Copes, A Greek poet who feels the sharp goads, Will you love only me, without fail? A pair who'd together been foined, (foined - thrusted as with a spear)
Train wheels hurtling, clickety-clack,
Molests, gropes, fondles at will,
Knowing full well he's immune,
From all those who'd impugn,
What he claims as his own "Rights of Bill."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806
Used their art to turn lucrative tricks,
Whe they shifted from jumps
To their flair tonguing rumps,
And thrilled clients with skilled rimmer licks.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9703
For more sales, A tale of Three Cities.
Then this proved fallacious,
They made it salacious
And named it A Sale of Two Titties.
--- Irving Superior P9410
Was handled by several committees;
A Dickensian plot,
Full of irony shot,
Involving a sale of two titties.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608
To tease or to needle a bit.
At its best it's a joy,
At its worst just a ploy
Of repulsively rank shifts of wit.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9602
With graffiti has terrible luck.
He will cover the walls
With ridiculous scrawls,
Such as (and I quote) "SICK MY DUCK!"
--- Norm Storer A
And a sex drive which no one could match.
His happiest patrons,
Were maidens and matrons,
Who would swoon at how he'd snap a latch.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0409
Took a nymphet named Barbara to sack.
"Take me sternward," she cried;
The lad quickly complied,
With passionate Babs in the stack.
--- Bob Giandimenico P0001
To his clay every day as his norm.
With artistic belief,
To produce bas-relief,
He needed to start up a form.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9805
Forced everyone out of the dorm,
After eating some beans
And some salty sardines,
And then, started one hell of a form.
--- Cap'n Bean P9911
By throwing at sea birds, two-toned.
The locals all yelled,
But I was compelled
To leave them with no stern untoned.
--- Anon
Was nipped by his wife, with a thud,
When she found him with Lonigan
While getting it on again,
And for being a mick in the stud.
--- Anon
Played each game 'cause she knew how to punt.
Said every team member,
"We'll always remember
So much fun with her neat kicky stunt."
--- Tom Patton P0306
Whos conjugal habits were rife
With such unnatural acts,
Friends said, "God, Jack, relax,
And give up these strange lays of wife."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Often written by some who are unsmart,
Variations abound,
Among those to be found,
Some spoonericks sound like a pun fart.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0201
Like a dream had by many lone males.
It was in lingerie
That he made his key play.
Another of those big city tales.
--- Tom Patton P0506
They called a gemologist, Bob.
Used a hammer and nail
On the Prince (who did wail)
But he had the right jewel for the tob.
--- Anon
Was distressed 'cause he missed the old gang.
There's an expression
For his depression.
It's simply a case ot 'toon pang.
--- Tom Patton P9808
Swamped schooners wherever she'd go.
And boats with a motor
Had less chance to float her.
Results were one tough ho' to row.
--- Anon
And has stunts to make beds spin a lot,
With her favors so slick,
Never wants for a trick,
When she's good with her warm, twirly cot.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9912
My wanger's endurance well known,
When in small Turkish villages,
Without any spillages,
I oft stilled two Kurds with one bone.
--- Anon
You know how he spends all his days?
Not chasing the birds,
But wangling his turds.
It's time he was wending his maze.
--- Joan Butler P0605
Was "The Order of Onan" soiree.
It's members/supporters,
While viewed by reporters,
Sang the club theme song, "Wankers Array."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608a
Made a living snatching watches.
His big brother Mercer,
Does the same, but vice verser!
Dirty bugger! Buenos Noches.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And his countenance reflects the days,
He watches his birds
While wangling his turds.
It's time he was wending his maze.
--- Arthur Deex P0605
"A boon to all dieters wise."
The sly man may be right,
I've lost weight since that night,
He first sold me those whittled, light thighs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806
Took a lover - one William John Hill.
With her husband not there,
This illicit affair,
Showed where Mayor's away there's a Will !
--- Anon
They make no sense at all who say, 'Spare it,'
And when dealing with lust,
One should wear out, not rust.
I say if the woo fits, then share it."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806
Pickets were assigned by the planners.
The signs that they waved
Were crude and depraved.
A vulgar display of mad banners.
--- Thomas M Patton P9901
Stowed away on a ship for a night.
But returned to the famine
While the craft he was damnin',
'Cause the barque, it was worse than the blight.
--- Anon
Slipped his harness and then was run over
By a fast moving truck,
A sad bit of luck,
The result surely being un-Rover.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Treats her subject, the stars, much like cattle.
But her books that tell all,
Keep her readers in thrall,
For she's seldom bested in tattle.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802
To dawdle and lie in the sand,
But decided instead,
Once he got out of bed,
In the morning to bike up the strand.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Specialized in blue shirts -- matching shoes.
In financial bad times
Modified her designs;
Changed the firm's name from The House of Blues.
--- Tom Patton P0001
Time tolls in it's resolute slog.
The millennium nears,
Bringing doubt, hope and fears,
Mankind bides, a mere lump on a bog.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001
Very delicate things to show there.
The result was a mess:
He misspelled the address,
And described them as "CANDLE WITH HARE."
--- Graig Gigol
It's confusing at dinner, when he's
Served no birds of fine fettle
Nor small objects of metal
But told, "Eat your parrots and keys!"
--- Vassar P0301
All cats have claws ending their paws.
It's just grammar's rule,
And a writer's tool,
That commas pause, ending their clause.
--- Larry Davis P8508
Fellow hospice's denizens tack,
For a trip to the zoo,
With our drool bibs askew,
De rigueur for my gooing chum pack.
--- Bob Giandomenico
That to play the game doesn't take brains.
There are in each alley
Ten pins one must tally
And nothing to choose but one's lanes.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Carving droll figures, tongue in cheek.
Though his whole family's good
At their carving in wood,
He's considered the best Chung in teak.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9412
To show pause at the end of a clause.
Though unlikely, at that,
To make sense to a cat,
Who shows claws at the end of it's paws.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802
Pushed his clone from a very high wall.
He said in disgust
"All he does is cuss!"
He was jailed for an obscene clone fall.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The pate and a barber's no vassal,
When the hair grows thin,
Only then we begin
To view a man's comb as his hassle.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9606
Showed a flair, on Kazoo, that was keen;
He could tweedle and trill
With a consumate skill
And was named as a comb-humming Queen.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Drop their seeds like a softly thrown ball,
To the ground far below,
There for nature to sow,
And to make a long distance cone fall.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712
Behaves like an irate storm trooper.
She attacks his bald pate,
With both skillet and plate;
A savage when she conks to stupor.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9602
Group of gentlemen, mannered sedately,
Save for one waggish kid,
Who, for "birds" used live squid,
And when served would those cuttle shock greatly.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9711
So for Vegas, Tom left in a daze.
Though the slots and the gash
Removed all his cash,
Nonetheless, Tom was faint with dam praise.
--- Hugh Clary
Bullets buzzing like drones in a hive.
Arms controllers all say,
We should blame NRA,
For these pits leave more lead than a dive.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001
Each contending the other's quietus.
What pro-lifers hold dear,
The pro-choicers make clear,
It's one's option to de-perp the foetus.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802
With knickers from sex always sticky,
Like a sleuth she would trail,
Any well endowed male,
On fire she'd aspire to trace dicky.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0607
Every night he would tell the same gag.
He was fired in disgrace;
It was clearly a case
Of an old tale just dogging the wag.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8811
With charisma, esprit, and elan.
His harem got hectic
When he turned epileptic --
Where were you when the fit hit the Shan?
--- Martin Wellborn P8407
Then, no matter how you try;
The imagery makes
With Spooner mistakes,
One you can't beat-- a flutter by.
--- Larry J Davis P9410
"I have a big problem to pose.
My house payment's due,
Don't know what I'll do,
'Cause I have no money -- forclose!"
--- Observer
Stop glottal-stops stopping my glottal?
I'll throw a felling tit,
And bash a lout a bit.
Signed coals will unthrottle my bottle."
--- Black Heart of Lims P0408
She, one day, was seduced by the latter.
As she lay there unclad,
She just murmurred, "Egad,"
And was henceforth adjudged a had matter.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9602
Intent with his axe, chopped a flurry.
When his mother asked why,
George said, "Mama, no lie,
I just wanted to hatchet the berry."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
Down with measles, the Finn boy was struck.
Said a doctor, called in
When he viewed the lad's chin,
"This may leave your skin pocky, Huck."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9901
And blushed at some outcomes, no doubt.
But we all see humor
In those gaffes of Spooner.
His brays on his Perth month, we shout.
Once stumbled while learning the ropes;
Yelling, "Ladies of Charlotte,
Your skins are all harlot,
No wonder you've got hymning dopes."
--- Graham Lester
As writer's block slowly forebodes,
Knows a transient state,
That in time will abate,
Being merely, the rile of odes.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608
Or are you a two-timing male?
"Oh my love, don't you see,
You've a monopoly,"
Replied Joe directly to Gail.
--- Paul Lusch P9410
In marriage were lawfully joined--
A happy proceeding
That led to good breeding,
They being so joyfully loined.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
While the brakemen play bridge in the back,
A diversion that may
Create havoc to pay,
Which is likely when trumping the jack.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9901