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The satyr of Capitol Hill,
Molests, gropes, fondles at will,
Knowing full well he's immune,
From all those who'd impugn,
What he claims as his own "Rights of Bill."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806

Two anally fixated chicks
Used their art to turn lucrative tricks,
Whe they shifted from jumps
To their flair tonguing rumps,
And thrilled clients with skilled rimmer licks.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9703

The novel, A Tale of Two Cities--
For more sales, A tale of Three Cities.
Then this proved fallacious,
They made it salacious
And named it A Sale of Two Titties.
--- Irving Superior P9410

A wet nurse, so go olden ditties,
Was handled by several committees;
A Dickensian plot,
Full of irony shot,
Involving a sale of two titties.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608

We often use humor to twit,
To tease or to needle a bit.
At its best it's a joy,
At its worst just a ploy
Of repulsively rank shifts of wit.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9602

A dyslexic delinquent named Chuck
With graffiti has terrible luck.
He will cover the walls
With ridiculous scrawls,
Such as (and I quote) "SICK MY DUCK!"
--- Norm Storer A

A locksmith had flair and dispatch,
And a sex drive which no one could match.
His happiest patrons,
Were maidens and matrons,
Who would swoon at how he'd snap a latch.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0409

To a hay mow, a farm boy named Jack,
Took a nymphet named Barbara to sack.
"Take me sternward," she cried;
The lad quickly complied,
With passionate Babs in the stack.
--- Bob Giandimenico P0001

A flatulent sculptor would warm,
To his clay every day as his norm.
With artistic belief,
To produce bas-relief,
He needed to start up a form.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9805

A flatulent student named Norm
Forced everyone out of the dorm,
After eating some beans
And some salty sardines,
And then, started one hell of a form.
--- Cap'n Bean P9911

My rock throwing skills all were honed
By throwing at sea birds, two-toned.
The locals all yelled,
But I was compelled
To leave them with no stern untoned.
--- Anon

This Irishman's life, in the bud
Was nipped by his wife, with a thud,
When she found him with Lonigan
While getting it on again,
And for being a mick in the stud.
--- Anon

In football, a female, Sally Hunt
Played each game 'cause she knew how to punt.
Said every team member,
"We'll always remember
So much fun with her neat kicky stunt."
--- Tom Patton P0306

A decadent fellow named Fife,
Whos conjugal habits were rife
With such unnatural acts,
Friends said, "God, Jack, relax,
And give up these strange lays of wife."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

The limerick form is a spun art,
Often written by some who are unsmart,
Variations abound,
Among those to be found,
Some spoonericks sound like a pun fart.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0201

He met her in New York's Bloomingdale's,
Like a dream had by many lone males.
It was in lingerie
That he made his key play.
Another of those big city tales.
--- Tom Patton P0506

For piercing the shiek's throbbing knob,
They called a gemologist, Bob.
Used a hammer and nail
On the Prince (who did wail)
But he had the right jewel for the tob.
--- Anon

A retired cartoonist, named Lang
Was distressed 'cause he missed the old gang.
There's an expression
For his depression.
It's simply a case ot 'toon pang.
--- Tom Patton P9808

A hooker who humped Jacques Cousteau,
Swamped schooners wherever she'd go.
And boats with a motor
Had less chance to float her.
Results were one tough ho' to row.
--- Anon

A talented tart who is hot,
And has stunts to make beds spin a lot,
With her favors so slick,
Never wants for a trick,
When she's good with her warm, twirly cot.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9912

Reminds me a time, long since flown,
My wanger's endurance well known,
When in small Turkish villages,
Without any spillages,
I oft stilled two Kurds with one bone.
--- Anon

Poor Doug's in a Spoonerick phase.
You know how he spends all his days?
Not chasing the birds,
But wangling his turds.
It's time he was wending his maze.
--- Joan Butler P0605

An auto-erotic display
Was "The Order of Onan" soiree.
It's members/supporters,
While viewed by reporters,
Sang the club theme song, "Wankers Array."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608a

A sneak thief, name of Hodges,
Made a living snatching watches.
His big brother Mercer,
Does the same, but vice verser!
Dirty bugger! Buenos Noches.

(must have been trained by Jimmie Swaggart)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Doug's Spoonericks have reached the done phase.
And his countenance reflects the days,
He watches his birds
While wangling his turds.
It's time he was wending his maze.
--- Arthur Deex P0605

"Carved Bantams!", the Colonel now cries,
"A boon to all dieters wise."
The sly man may be right,
I've lost weight since that night,
He first sold me those whittled, light thighs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806

The mayor's wife in the small town of Rhyl,
Took a lover - one William John Hill.
With her husband not there,
This illicit affair,
Showed where Mayor's away there's a Will !
--- Anon

Said a nympho, "I strongly declare it,
They make no sense at all who say, 'Spare it,'
And when dealing with lust,
One should wear out, not rust.
I say if the woo fits, then share it."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9806

A strike at the factory of canners;
Pickets were assigned by the planners.
The signs that they waved
Were crude and depraved.
A vulgar display of mad banners.
--- Thomas M Patton P9901

An Irishman, fleeing his plight,
Stowed away on a ship for a night.
But returned to the famine
While the craft he was damnin',
'Cause the barque, it was worse than the blight.
--- Anon

A dog, Rover, the pet of Ms. Dover,
Slipped his harness and then was run over
By a fast moving truck,
A sad bit of luck,
The result surely being un-Rover.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

This gossip queen, doyenne of prattle.
Treats her subject, the stars, much like cattle.
But her books that tell all,
Keep her readers in thrall,
For she's seldom bested in tattle.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802

By the seaside George Gershwin had planned
To dawdle and lie in the sand,
But decided instead,
Once he got out of bed,
In the morning to bike up the strand.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

This is file xql

A female designer named Hughes
Specialized in blue shirts -- matching shoes.
In financial bad times
Modified her designs;
Changed the firm's name from The House of Blues.
--- Tom Patton P0001

As we watch in a fuddle-brained fog,
Time tolls in it's resolute slog.
The millennium nears,
Bringing doubt, hope and fears,
Mankind bides, a mere lump on a bog.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001

A glass-maker had sent to a fair
Very delicate things to show there.
The result was a mess:
He misspelled the address,
And described them as "CANDLE WITH HARE."
--- Graig Gigol

Dr Spooner's small nephew agrees;
It's confusing at dinner, when he's
Served no birds of fine fettle
Nor small objects of metal
But told, "Eat your parrots and keys!"
--- Vassar P0301

It's one of the natural laws:
All cats have claws ending their paws.
It's just grammar's rule,
And a writer's tool,
That commas pause, ending their clause.
--- Larry Davis P8508

To the bus, eyes jejune and jaws slack,
Fellow hospice's denizens tack,
For a trip to the zoo,
With our drool bibs askew,
De rigueur for my gooing chum pack.
--- Bob Giandomenico

Karl Marx, teaching bowling, explains
That to play the game doesn't take brains.
There are in each alley
Ten pins one must tally
And nothing to choose but one's lanes.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

The woodcarver, Chung, is unique,
Carving droll figures, tongue in cheek.
Though his whole family's good
At their carving in wood,
He's considered the best Chung in teak.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9412

For the most part, a comma gives cause,
To show pause at the end of a clause.
Though unlikely, at that,
To make sense to a cat,
Who shows claws at the end of it's paws.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802

Frustrated young Mr. Hall
Pushed his clone from a very high wall.
He said in disgust
"All he does is cuss!"
He was jailed for an obscene clone fall.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When tresses no longer entassle
The pate and a barber's no vassal,
When the hair grows thin,
Only then we begin
To view a man's comb as his hassle.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9606

A musician, although epicene,
Showed a flair, on Kazoo, that was keen;
He could tweedle and trill
With a consumate skill
And was named as a comb-humming Queen.

(epicene - lacking sexual characters)
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

Giant redwoods, that, having grown tall,
Drop their seeds like a softly thrown ball,
To the ground far below,
There for nature to sow,
And to make a long distance cone fall.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9712

When abusing her spouse, Mrs. Hooper,
Behaves like an irate storm trooper.
She attacks his bald pate,
With both skillet and plate;
A savage when she conks to stupor.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9602

Navy's badminton team, a most stately
Group of gentlemen, mannered sedately,
Save for one waggish kid,
Who, for "birds" used live squid,
And when served would those cuttle shock greatly.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9711

Hoover Dam never faails to amaze;
So for Vegas, Tom left in a daze.
Though the slots and the gash
Removed all his cash,
Nonetheless, Tom was faint with dam praise.
--- Hugh Clary

The pistol range galleries thrive;
Bullets buzzing like drones in a hive.
Arms controllers all say,
We should blame NRA,
For these pits leave more lead than a dive.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0001

Pro-lifers and pro-choicers greet us,
Each contending the other's quietus.
What pro-lifers hold dear,
The pro-choicers make clear,
It's one's option to de-perp the foetus.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9802

A wanton young nymphet named Niki,
With knickers from sex always sticky,
Like a sleuth she would trail,
Any well endowed male,
On fire she'd aspire to trace dicky.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0607

A comic's career hit a snag
Every night he would tell the same gag.
He was fired in disgrace;
It was clearly a case
Of an old tale just dogging the wag.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8811

The Shan of Algiers was a man
With charisma, esprit, and elan.
His harem got hectic
When he turned epileptic --
Where were you when the fit hit the Shan?
--- Martin Wellborn P8407

Imagine please--a butter fly.
Then, no matter how you try;
The imagery makes
With Spooner mistakes,
One you can't beat-- a flutter by.
--- Larry J Davis P9410

Said a pretty model named Rose,
"I have a big problem to pose.
My house payment's due,
Don't know what I'll do,
'Cause I have no money -- forclose!"
--- Observer

Doctor Spooner glopped, "Just what'll
Stop glottal-stops stopping my glottal?
I'll throw a felling tit,
And bash a lout a bit.
Signed coals will unthrottle my bottle."
--- Black Heart of Lims P0408

Cutting mats for an artistic Satyr,
She, one day, was seduced by the latter.
As she lay there unclad,
She just murmurred, "Egad,"
And was henceforth adjudged a had matter.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9602

Young George at the cherry tree, very
Intent with his axe, chopped a flurry.
When his mother asked why,
George said, "Mama, no lie,
I just wanted to hatchet the berry."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

With his characteristic ill-luck,
Down with measles, the Finn boy was struck.
Said a doctor, called in
When he viewed the lad's chin,
"This may leave your skin pocky, Huck."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9901

He tied words in knots like a Scout
And blushed at some outcomes, no doubt.
But we all see humor
In those gaffes of Spooner.
His brays on his Perth month, we shout.

A transposing preacher named Copes,
Once stumbled while learning the ropes;
Yelling, "Ladies of Charlotte,
Your skins are all harlot,
No wonder you've got hymning dopes."
--- Graham Lester

A Greek poet who feels the sharp goads,
As writer's block slowly forebodes,
Knows a transient state,
That in time will abate,
Being merely, the rile of odes.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9608

Will you love only me, without fail?
Or are you a two-timing male?
"Oh my love, don't you see,
You've a monopoly,"
Replied Joe directly to Gail.
--- Paul Lusch P9410

A pair who'd together been foined,
In marriage were lawfully joined--
A happy proceeding
That led to good breeding,
They being so joyfully loined.

(foined - thrusted as with a spear)
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410

Train wheels hurtling, clickety-clack,
While the brakemen play bridge in the back,
A diversion that may
Create havoc to pay,
Which is likely when trumping the jack.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9901


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