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Don't like no sand in my drawers; There was a young lady named Jane A much worse boffing site's poison oak; "How gross," gagged an esthete named Pete, There also were overtures grand There was a young girl from Gloucester, (Published 1870)
A stately young lady named Stella She opened her lips with desire I fear that the thorny confliction A lecherous farmer from Scranton To her gardener, a lady called Lillium, Two romantic young lovers, quite horny, A vain French hauler named Buck To a girl, said old carpenter Bing, Each day the bean counter would mount her; The bean counter got off scott free, I keep hearing to disgust and chagrin, I read, with regret, lamentation, So I hope we can avert this impasse, I went shopping for clothing today; I went to the rooms in the back As I looked up over my head "Petal, my dear, I can't wait! Then you crashed through the ceiling tile, Why Petal, you're almost quite nude! And there, in the small fitting room, Then you sauntered on out of the store. On business, abroad, with my boss, Me and the boss have since wed Mr Jones somehow got in a harem; He had balls when he came to the harem, Now Jones still resides at the harem That meat you inserted was rare, This chair is just big enough for us; If we should end up on the floor, I burn when my rocker you smite; A kitchen, of course, needs a stable The kitchen's no doubt mighty strange How many persons are said To screw in a lightbulb's divine, A living room isn't complete Now let's not forget a nice fire, Been living in this dumb motel. They rent by the hour, it seems. I've just gone and bought a new mat I've also just bought a new table. I turned down the chance of a screw I'm trying to think of some way Trust me, dear Karen, it's said Thanks for the warning, my dear, Dear Jayne, you might need a new bed, Bed, I'm afraid, is quite boring, Well then, good luck, I suppose. I'm in need of abusive lim You're lucky, girl. I've made a suity Big thanks from this so lucky girl; Suity is now in the mail. Your suity arrived here today; Tonight is dive lesson three Perhaps you would like to assist; Enclosed are two more of the suity, My birth took place in a log cabin, My love is over six feet tall; That broad brown chest 'neath my fingers; The candle which burns in the night, I wish you all joy in '06;
It's rough and it hurts and what's mores
I stop to brush off
In between boffs.
It's better to do it indoors.
--- Arden a
Who fucked in the park with her swain.
They were hardy and tough
But did not know enough
That they should have come in from the rain.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0218
Ever since then, Sue's inclined not to poke;
If I smear Calomin-e
All 'round her vagin-e,
Perhaps I can still be her bloke!
--- Anon
"To fornicate right in the street;
The screeching of brakes
On cars of all makes,
Is worse than the damp summer heat."
--- Armand E Singer 882
For those who made love in the sand,
For 'twas well within reach
To make love on the beach,
For a sizable group in the land.
--- Albin Chaplin
Whose parents thought they had lost her.
But they found in the grass,
The marks of her ass,
And the knees of the man who had crossed her.
--- Anon
Was fucked by an agile young fella,
While she walked in the rain
And without any strain,
'Neath her colorful, fancy umbrella.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0346
And Frank's "thing" got higher and higher.
His passion ignited,
He got very excited,
And started a large forest fire.
--- Michelle
Has left me a painful affliction.
But one thing I learned,
I'd rather be burned
Than end this addiction to friction.
--- Michelle
Is often seen puffin' and pantin'.
Not from plowing a field,
But from girls he's unpeeled
And filled with the sperm he keeps plantin'.
--- Armand Singer
Said, "Billy, plant roses and trillium."
Then she started to fool
With the gardener's tool,
And wound up in the bed of sweet William.
--- Anon G0117
Found fucking in bed much to corny.
So they wooed in a wood,
Which would have been good
Had the mossy banks not been so thorny.
--- G0094
Voiced doubts about whether to fuck:
"It's not 'comme il faut',
Much less 'a propos' --
To screw on the bed of a truck."
--- Armand E Singer 723
"Let us go to the woods for a fling.
With the tools of my trade
You'll be properly laid,
And a wood screw will be just the thing."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2941
Accounting is where her boss found her.
She was a sweet lass,
But they fired her ass,
When she was caught over the counter.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For the good of the small company.
He got dirty looks,
But he kept the books --
He knew too much, obviously.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That Englishmen are taking our women,
And that certain states
Will be empty of mates,
For our redblooded, American men.
--- Petunia
Of Yank girls luring men from our Nation.
Let me volunteer first
To share my best and my worst,
With those pondering Anglification.
--- Steevo
And keep English off each US lass.
Let them stay in Manchester
And in London, molest her,
While we get our own piece of ass.
--- Steevo
Some skirts, some red panties for play!
Some bras and some hose,
A blouse, I suppose
I must try all these on 'for I pay.
--- Ericka
And hung my clothes on the rack;
Began to divest
Myself of my dress,
When I heard a loud creak and a crack!
--- Ericka
With trepidation and dread,
A man's hand was feeling
Right through the ceiling,
And behind it, Petey's voice said:
--- Ericka
For our regular Friday night date!
I need you, my dear,
To fondle my spear --
For it's shrunk and I fear it's too late!
--- Ericka
Landing on your butt, in the aisle.
Crawled under one curtain;
Whose room? I'm not certain!
Finally found me by error and trial.
--- Ericka
My spear now is feeling renewed!
These mirrors behind me
Have served to remind me:
You can see my reflection protrude.
--- Ericka
You caused my petals to bloom.
With sweet Halloween,
And number thirteen,
All my energy you did consume.
--- Ericka
(You unpredictable man I adore!)
Leaving me sighing
And quivery-thigh-ing,
And wishing you'd come back for more.
--- Ericka
His body on mine he did toss.
I remember those cuddles
And warm sticky puddles;
No wonder my husband was cross!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And spent many a long hour in bed.
But Dusseldorf by night
Was a beautiful sight;
The memory's forever in my head.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He had balls, and he chose there to bare 'em.
There arose such a shriek,
He was deaf for a week,
As they fought over how they would share him.
--- John Miller 0054
And he thought that no one could impair 'em.
But the ecstatic shriek
Had alerted the sheik,
Who decided he'd no longer wear 'em.
--- John Miller 0054a
After efforts were made to prepare him
For his job as a guard...
Well, it never gets hard,
And there's girls, though he never can snare 'em.
--- John Miller 0054b
Just the way I like it down there.
And that lick was a treat,
On my pretty pink meat;
Now come fuck me again in this chair!
--- Anon
This is file xmm
With my cock deep in your clitoris,
I hope the legs hold.
If they don't and they fold,
Our fucking will certainly floor us.
--- Anon
There's only one thing I'll hope for.
That my end stays down,
While you're in my mound,
And you're slamming that cock in me more.
--- Anon
And while clearly not jaundiced but bright,
In life, I am yellow;
Dying, still mellow;
But once I am broken, I bite.
--- Anon
And solid mahogany table,
At just the right height
For a snack and a bite
Or a quicky with Nikki or Mabel.
--- Peter Wilkins
When you try a new room for a change.
While some like the sink,
It give me a kink.
I feel more at home on the range.
--- Irish
To screw in a light bulb, overhead.
The answer depends,
Since Californians
Screw in a hot tub instead.
--- Res Ipsa A
Though to some it appears asinine.
But give it a try,
For my partner and I
Got in the bulb naked, just fine.
--- Ellen
Without candlelight, sofa, and heat;
And lying right there
On the carpet, young Clair
(Or whoever) to give you a treat.
--- Irish
To kindle our lasses desire.
Some music is nice
For breaking the ice,
And vino with which you can ply her.
--- Irish
It's not like a fancy hotel,
But it's clean and neat
Not like the next street,
Where there is a dirty no-tell.
--- Anon
I hear these loud giggles and screams.
So many guys there!
How can they just share?
You think they like screwing in teams?
--- Anon
For the pile on the old one was flat.
It was used every night
(It was shag-pile all right)
But I will say no further than that.
--- Peter Wilkins
(The old one was rather unstable.)
It's made of good teak
And should last me all week,
If I stop entertaining sweet Mabel.
--- Peter Wilkins
Which young Annabel offered; it's true.
But my bannister rails
Needed hammer and nails
To repair them. (If you only knew...)
--- Peter Wilkins
To do it down under the waves,
Wrapped up in lycra,
I'd still like to try to,
Since I'm already feeling so brave.
--- Karen
To be pretty hard to give head.
Though this might you vex,
If you want great sex,
There is nothing that beats good old bed.
--- Nik Synytskyy
But the water bug's bit me I fear.
We might end up dead,
But we've used up the bed.
So we're going to try under the pier.
--- Karen
Or maybe your lover is dead.
Though a tent by the ocean
Provides for good motion;
All those bashing waves sure swelled his head.
--- Karen
With him rolling over and snoring.
The best one for me,
Was against a large tree,
It was wet, 'cause the rain was downpouring.
--- Jayne
Without resorting to prose,
If you still will be well,
Please to A.J.L. tell
What from your endeavors arose.
--- Nik Synytskyy
On how to have sex while we swim,
With tanks 'neath the sea.
It's cold as a 'B',
And the body suit wraps up the quim.
--- Karen
That zips from the navel to booty.
Just slather some grease
The length of your crease.
You'll make a most excellent shootee.
--- H Welchel
I'll give your new suity a whirl.
Send it to me
In care of the sea;
My sweety is sure to unfurl.
--- Karen
Try it forthwith without fail.
Then send us reports
Of water sports.
(I hope you will find SCUBA Grail.)
--- H Welchel
A clever design, I must say.
It fits like a glove,
So we tried making love
And really got carried away.
--- Karen
Of five and then we will be
Off to the isles
Where I'll work my wiles
With the help of your clever suity.
--- Karen
I'm aware that we're facing some risk.
So if you should find
You have some spare time,
We are traveling with a sweet sis.
--- Karen
For hubby and sis (is she cutey?)
And trap-door mouthpieces
With auto-releases
For undersea sucking of hootie.
--- H Welchel
One night when my dad was out crabbin'.
But now I am glad
That my dear old dad
Just once with my mom did some jabbin'!
--- Travis Brasell
Next to him I feel very small.
With his broad-shouldered stance
And smouldering glance,
I'm quickly taken into his thrall.
--- Azul
Oh, how the taste of him lingers
On the tip of my tongue,
As I stroke it along;
His body which is a humdinger.
--- Azul
Sheds its warm glow tonight,
On my happy face
While in his embrace,
And the love which does surely excite.
--- Azul
You gals, may you turn many tricks.
Hope each gentleman finds
Hot lips (of both kinds)
In which you may nestle your pricks.
--- John Miller
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