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Let us join in an anathem of gloria Let's go to the worker's lounge, Dear; (Because I brought my special gear.)
An African hunter named Pace John there's no need to be shy But Frank, you just went ballooning, I asked dear Marlene, "Do it faster." I remember that incident, Frank. Our ill-fated effort to fly I will need some definite proof This sounds quite painful to me. Way back there, when I went to school, If you have an ample behind, I still have that girl on the brain Said an injured Cousteau, "I implore all I do like the pleasures bucolic, Young Jock did most certainly score, With Mitzi o'er moorland I'd ramble. For nookie without any stop, For sure, I remember young Mitzi, We've no poison ivy 'round here, With Mitzi over moorland I'd ramble, Said a pious young pair on a hayride I just met a girl from Peru, Though it seem abnormal, contrary, There was a young fellow named Tully The by-laws here state that commission They send out enforcement patrols, A fine balladeer name of Hawke, They parked on the cliff-top one day, KERSPLASH went the sea as they hit. I love to go down to the dingle At the top of the Tower Eiffel, The prominent Duchess of Pyle I tell you, it's rough to get laid I can tell that you never got laid If you ain't got the ass of a hoss, Your talk of hot sex is a flunk; Thor Hyerdal tested his theory The graveyard was covered with dew In the haystack a lady named Grimes, There was a young lady named Wanda, I see witty and whisical you, Offend this old country boy? Shucks! So, bring on the wine and sweet clover, No dog is allowed in the truck! If I was to send Rover runnin', But, since I'm a man of romance, When I went for a roll in the clover A haughty old lord named Sir Barden A theory of Percival Wirt A fastidious lady named Gertie, The leaves on the ground were all wet, There once was a lady from Spain It does make me chatter my teeth Larry and Linda-Louise, A Norwegian couple named Lars I knew a girl called Mandy; There once was an old Lambda Chi, When doing it on top of Mt. Etna, A fastidious old man of Alsace There are many good sites for a poke; A devious young fellow was Neville, You shouldn't go rolling in thistle! I'm glad that it isn't my fate On a hot summer night, on the lawn, A frigid but cute Eskimo I hope that your birthday was grand;
In praise of the Waldorf Astoria,
Where it's nicer to sin
Than a Holiday Inn --
How I fervently wish they'd builtmoria.
--- Hugh Oliver A136B
There's a comfy big couch there I hear.
I think that you need
A massage and indeed,
I can rub from the front or the rear.
--- Jon Gearhart
Felt the need for a female embrace.
So he looked for a cutie
And he found him a beauty,
With horseshit and flies on her face.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0286
About age if you'd still join mile-high.
If given the chance,
I'd, too, do that dance,
And I'm not sixty three, but one shy.
--- Frank
With Marlene, who was crooning,
Sweet things in your ear,
(Also shaking with fear),
While your instrument she was tuning.
--- Petunia
The fear, I'm afraid, never passed her.
The balloon did rip;
She bruised her smooth hip;
I thought that the crash has dis-assed her.
--- Frank Fazed
For bruises I have you to thank.
If from just a bruise,
My butt I could lose,
I'd come to your house for a spank!
--- Marlene
Has caused me to contemplate why
You'd like to reduce
That lovely caboose.
Come over, we'll give it a try.
--- Frank
That you are not running a spoof.
(You could make a big haul
If spanks made a butt small.)
Can you guarantee it's foolproof?
--- Marlene
The things that we do for beauty.
I believe I'd find
A smaller behind,
Much better for making whoopee!
--- Marlene
We were sure to follow this rule:
If you have to test,
Then test on the best.
We'd never get proof from a fool.
--- Frank Fazed
You really should keep this in mind:
Some are built for speed,
Some for comfort. Indeed,
Comfort is sometimes hard to find.
--- Frank Fazed
And back pain from sexual strain.
I've needed some tranks
Since love with the Franks --
Fifi on the banks of the Seine.
--- Anon
Of my divers to stick with sex oral--
Having just tried to screw
On a bed, 'neath the blue,
Where the beds, you will note, are of coral!
--- Rowdy Jack
And scrumpy, that juice alcoholic,
And meadows so green,
Where with young Rosie Breen,
I'd empty my bollocks in frolic.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Although he was twelve and no more.
With a bucolic tart
Beneath a haycart;
He went home to quite an uproar.
--- Ian
She dropped them without much preamble.
Alas the terrain
Caused her to complain,
As out of her ass, I'd pull bramble.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In brambles, dear, you should not flop.
Choose landscape with care
Or when you get bare,
You must then put Mitzi on top!
--- Marlene Lewis
With underwear, itsy and bitsy.
She giggled and laughed
As she sat on my shaft,
Saying, "Goodness, how tightly it fits me!"
--- Peter Wilkins
But I've tried it your way, Marty dear.
But never again;
It was me to complain
'Bout thistle spikes stuck up my rear!
--- Tiddy Ogg
She dropped 'em without much preamble.
Alas the terrain
Caused her to complain,
As out of her ass, I pulled brambles.
--- Anon
Who were dreading the passing of daylight,
"When night falls, we will pray
For the coming of day,
And meanwhile we will screw by the wayside.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who likes off beat places to screw.
We've done it on trains,
In hammocks, on planes,
And next week we'll try a canoe.
--- Anon P
Love made in a cemetary,
Excited young Mike,
Who found ground he'd like,
Little piece of OSSUARY.
--- Chris Papa
Who wanted to screw in the gully.
But his girl took a stand
With her feet in the sand,
So that none of her clothing would sully.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0364
Of actions in lieu of coition
Viz gentlemen's hard-ons,
Erected in gardens,
Need town council planning permission.
--- Peter Wilkins
Inspecting exposed ladies' holes,
Then measure sufficence
And issue a license,
To only the most adequate poles.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Two pennywhistles kept in his sock.
An innocent young maid
He took to the shade,
And oh, how that cradle did rock.
--- Carol
And started to have it away,
In ecstasy crying:
"It feels like we're flying!"...
They were, 'til they crashed in the bay.
--- Anon
They thought that the dust they had bit.
Surprised, they were floating!
This car's made for boating?!
No, it's just the air in my slit.
--- Anon
With Ruby, who's young, free, and single,
And in the sun's dappel
Enjoy Cupid's grapple,
Till all of our love juices mingle.
--- Tiddy Ogg
My ecstatic cries I will yell;
A woman reborn
On the tip of your horn,
As you pump in and out of my bell.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was screwed by a Hindu with style
On the banks of Euphrates,
And was screwed with such great ease
That she asked for a trial on the Nile.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0305
This is file xnm
At 104 in the shade.
Makes me long for vermouth
And the lays of my youth,
On the moss in a cool forest glade.
--- John Miller
On the moss of a cool forest glade.
No way it smells skunky,
But once it gets funky,
The sheets can't be washed, I'm afraid.
--- Reqluq
Then give your dull boyfriend a toss;
Until you have gottem
Pinned down on the bottom,
And pound HIS poor ass in the moss.
--- John Miller
The more heat, the more sweat, the more funk.
I don't have a horse ass
And won't lay on mossed grass,
And end up smelling like a skunk.
--- Reqluq
Then published Kon-Tiki. My query:
"Can folks fuck in a tree
Like the wild wallaby?"
Should be tested and tried as severely.
--- Don Moore P0108
And silence with darkness there, too;
And there lay Bev Glist,
As still as the mist,
Said she, "Came we here, now let's screw!"
--- Travis Brasell
Recollected her fun in past times.
But her quest inconclusive
Found no needle elusive,
Though she did feel the prick several times.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2976A
Of her boyfriend, could not have been fonder!
The trouble, she found
He was not always 'round;
He was here, he was there, sometimes yonder.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Playing down on the beach, it is true.
But land sharks abound,
And splashing around,
Soon will have your nice tool out of view.
--- Anon
Like water that rolls off a duck's
Back, so rolls affronts,
Unless, of course, cunts
Won't spread in the bed of my trucks.
--- Travis Brasell
And I'll pull my pickup truck over,
And you jump in back,
And spread your pink crack,
But pay you no mind to old Rover!
--- Travis Brasell
For fear he might well run amuck.
He'll bounce on my boobs,
And wrestle my pubes,
And goodness knows WHAT he will suck!
--- Anon
My maid, Fuzzy Peach, would be gunnin'
For me, and my crotch
Would soon be a blotch,
'Cause she likes that hound for her funnin'!
--- Anon
I'll take me a helluva chance
And shoo 'way that hound,
If I'll get a round
Of pickup-truck-sex in your pants!
--- Anon
With a frisky young maiden from Dover,
We lay midst the flowers
And made love for hours,
Till her dad, who's an umpire, called "Over!"
--- Michael Horgan
Once said to his maid, "Beg your pardon,
But your manner enticing
Indeed's quite sufficing
To debauch you right her in the garden."
--- Albin Chaplin
Is that things generate in the dirt.
To bolster his theory,
He got a girl beery,
And muddily gave her a squirt.
--- Mike Tice
On a camping trip got very flirty.
She said to the stud
After sex in the mud,
"You've gotten my ass hole all dirty!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
As I fucked in the park with Nanette.
In autumn's great splendor,
She proved to be tender,
And screwed like I'll never forget!
--- Cap'n Bean P9811
Who loved to have sex in the rain.
For any man she met,
She was instantly wet;
And a man who refused her: insane.
--- Paul D
To think what she has underneath.
I fear that her gland
Is on barren land,
But pray that it's long-grass or heath.
--- Anon
They did it one time in the trees;
On their forty-ninth stroke,
The branches all broke,
And they came -- falling down on their knees!
--- Cap'n bean P9808
Would only make love 'neath the stars.
No matter the weather
They'd strip in the heather,
But leave on their boots, mitts and scarves.
--- Alex Heydon P0409
For sex she was always randy.
We'd pump and we'd grind,
And one day we got fined,
For doing in the middle of Tandy!
--- Anon
Who just joined the club called "Mile High."
He said, "That was sweet
At ten thousand feet.
You're cockpit's the best in the sky!"
--- David Miller
She definitely fell so much betta
To always repose
On some asbestos;
It made her lips stay so much wetta.
--- Ardens
Was fucking a girl on the grass,
When he noticed a sign:
"If you litter -- pay fine,"
So he shoved his cigar up her ass.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2849
In seclusion, her quim you can stoke;
In some shrubs in the wood,
It can be mighty good,
But make sure that it's not poison oak.
--- Allen Wolverrton
Possessed of a bit of the devil.
He screwed his girl Jill
On the side of a hill,
Which proves he was not on the level.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0277
I'm certain that any young miss'll
Prefer your soft bed,
When giving you head,
And trying to pucker your whistle.
--- Anon
To crawl under bushes to mate.
Animals don't mind,
But that is the kind
Of morals that get politicians irate.
--- Marlene
Carole's inhibitions were gone;
With her boyfriend named Mose,
She abandoned her clothes,
And they humped 'till the crack of the dawn.
--- Cap'n Bean P0509
Finally let herself go...
We bounced once or twice
Then paid a stiff price
As our organs just froze on that floe.
--- TuttaGioia
Was "sex on the beach" what was planned?
That sometimes occurs
(Just watch out for those burrs...
And empty your knickers of sand!)
--- Cheryl
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