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A logger they called Forest Gump, There was a young man from Siam, There was a pragmatic young SPAR, After a wild rolling wrestle, Wankus had fucked Christy Wilde, Said a sexy young nymph of Newcastle: A plumber whose name was Tom Brink, Man on top of woman, hasn't long to stay, There's a pleasant fog in my brain, There once was this old chaperone A vigorous athlete named Pease A feeble old dotard named Ned An elderly lover named Brown What! Adults don't have any fun? On your sixty-fifth birthday, your balls Old Bert at 102 A man, aged one hundred and one A randy old musician named Jake, "Old Man," she said rather cheekily, That's right gal, they're never too old, When young, I'd fuck ladies en masse, A divorcee delivered this view: An old man who lived in Seattle I much prefer fellows who's years Though I may be about to retire, There once was an elderly spastic A holy old man from Lahore My grandaddy said to me: "Bella, There was an old fogey named Rinnish, A voluptuous Venus named Vickie "Foreplay, hell," mused an oldster named Metz, An aged old fellow named Ripley If a woman waits thirty-six years, I know a frenetic young Mexican, Old people are baggy and gray Said Henry, "My Dear, you can trust Old Richbucks, the shame of Biloxi, At school, said an eager young lad, There was an old coot, Ferdie Furson, Why did you all decide A couple of codgers who wed Moaned fast-aging cockster George Hall, The geriatric couple, I see that some of you ken A chumpy old duffer named Sprague, The old guy is really quite sweet; Said old Zeus as he sat on Olympus, I'm willing to give up my life Grandpap in his youth was a lecher The squeak of the bedsprings came through I have sympathy for your plight, A wealthy old lecher named Debo There was an old geezer who tried, I met an old guy from Algiers By this time, it's all pretty clear, Reports in the papers show you're There was an old man from Brazil The enjoyment of sex (although great, In times past, with my true love I'd lie, With these peaks so damn far apart A Professor of English named Baumer, The doctor was told by old Patrick: (hat-trick - three goals in one hockey game)
Groused elderly loverboy Lunn, Wept a limp-dicked old lecher named Bill, Wept with shame did an oldster named Lee, There is an old person called Young
Spent nights doing nothing but hump;
He'd jump any rump,
Bump, thump, and pump,
Till his limb, once quite plump, was a stump.
--- Joel D Ash
Who said, "I go in with a wham,
But I soon lose my starch,
Like the mad month of March,
And the lion comes out like a lamb."
--- L0095
Who would not let the boys go too far.
An orgasm or two,
She believed, ought to do,
After which she'd say, "Well, there you are."
--- John Ciardi
In his strong arms she would nestle,
Wrapped with her pharmacist
In the deep morning mist,
As snug as a mortar and pestle.
--- Greg Schindler P9001
And she screamed aloud like a child.
When Wankus was done,
He asked if she had fun.
She said it had been pretty mild.
--- Alexander the Poet
"A fuck's at least partly a wrassle,
From the spread of your thighs,
Through the humping and sighs,
To the slow easing out his wet tassel."
--- Grand Prix Lim 772 G0708
Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink.
Her resistance was stout,
And Tom Brink petered out,
With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink.
--- L0104
His head is full of nonsense, His ass is full of play.
He goes in like a lion, he comes out like a lamb,
And when he buttons up his pants, he isn't worth a damn.
--- Anon
As my senses, I try to regain.
Then serenity's shook
By your word or your look --
And you set me on fire once again.
--- Petal
Called her charges by microphone;
When caught in the act,
They then hid the fact
Yelling "Coming" in bland monotone.
--- Marlene
Said, "The thought of old age makes me freeze.
Being no good in bed
Is the thing that I dread.
Middle age is a social disease."
--- A N Wilkins P8512
Once took a young woman to bed.
When she asked, "Is it in?"
He replied with chagrin,
"I've got it all in but the head."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9209a
Smiled, "Memories won't let me feel down;
I just add to the total
Of everything scrotal,
I ever had going in town."
--- Armand E Singer 602
Why, at forty, life's barely begun!
You're just starting to know
How to squander your dough
On every vice under the sun!
--- John Miller a
Shrivel up and your prostate gland falls.
But you still get your kicks
Feeling stoned hippie's pricks,
Phoning strangers, and writing on walls.
--- G2080
Politely asked nurse for a screw.
"Not even a hand
Job!" she said, "Understand?"
"But my balls have dropped off in the loo..."
--- Anon
Still thought that sex was great fun;
His bones they did clatter
And at times they did shatter,
And he'd finish before he'd begun!
--- Anon
Aspired to slip the soprano his snake.
We don't mean to scorn him,
But feel we should warn him.
If she plays with his bone, it will break.
--- Anon
"Your pelvis is grinding quite creakily."
With one final shove
In her tunnel of love,
He managed to come, although leakily.
--- Ogni Gioia
One warning, though, that I've been told:
Hot sex in big doses,
Might cause 'em thrombosis,
And meat ain't so sweet when it's cold.
--- Anon
On the bed, on the floor, on the grass.
Now with ill fitting denture,
To eat cunt I can't venture,
And my prick, it collapses, alas!
--- Albin Chaplin
"The young men I've tried were untrue.
The old men I've tried,
Though they tried and they tried,
Could never quite tighten the screw."
--- Lance Payne P8509
Engaged a tired whore in -- well, battle.
He shot off three times,
And then shouted, "The crimes
Of the fathers are--" (Offstage death rattle.)
--- G2500
Have taught them the use of their spears.
So, out with the new
And in with the few
Who know when to downshift their gears.
--- Anon
Ladies, come light my Christmas fire.
Though I'm well over fifty
Come get this gifty -
Eight inches of throbbing desire!
--- Ogden Nield
Whom ladies thought simply fantastic.
He would comfort their itches
With spasms and twitches,
And a whang that was highly elastic.
--- Norm Storer
Had dozens of cousins next door.
He was struck by St.Vitus
While performing coitus,
And they echoed his wife's cry: "Encore!"
--- Carl Ludvig P0206
There's snow on the roof here, young feller,
But many a gel
Has learned very well,
There's still quite a fire in the cellar."
--- Anon
Whose memory did fade and diminish.
For in bed with a date
Though he started first rate,
He forgot what to do at the finish.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2263
Said, "That was okay for a quickie,
But when he's past forty,
You must count on a shorty
That's weaving, deceiving, and ICKY."
--- Grand Prix Lim 247
"Truth to tell you, all's off with the bets;
When I do feel the yen,
On a scale 1 to 10,
About 4 is as high as it gets."
--- Armand Singer P0001
Disabled and known to be cripply,
Fucked a girl in his attic
In a manner fanatic,
And, Believe It Or Not, fucked her triply.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2264
No wonder sex stirs her to tears.
Full of hope, in her pants,
Sit old gray-headed ants
In cunt juice clear up to their ears!
--- G1631
This is file wkm
Who daily seeks all of the sex he can;
After some years
His life will shift gears,
And never be quite so complex again.
--- Norm Storer P9710a
And slow, yes, it takes us all day.
And sloppy! You bet.
Just can't be too wet,
And gumming while sucking's 'The Way'.
--- Anon
An old man like me! Why I must
Have help from my chair.
Can't get my thing THERE..."
But he did and her cherry is bust!
--- John Miller
In matters of sex is quite foxy.
His equipment's expired,
But he's got a kid hired
To fuck his old girlfriends by proxy.
--- Grand Prix Lim 650 G2258
When asked by his teacher, Miss Fradd,
What'd he do when he grew,
"Why, I though I told you...
I'll hunt for hot tail, like my dad!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 324
Booted from the sex shop loudly cursin'.
Shouted he in a rage,
"With a man of my age,
The first hour or so is rehearsin'!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 373
That gone are the days that I ride,
That big bucking bronco;
That magnificent wanko.
I've still got it, I say with great pride
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Toddled off to their honeymoon bed.
Though they both had the will,
They were over the hill,
So they lay there and held hands instead.
--- Sylvia Honig
"The weight of my years is no ball;
No looking for foreplay;
What I need is more play,
Or I get no climax at all."
--- Armand Singer
Less lithe and not so supple,
Has propensity
For intensity,
Less foreplay and less trouble.
--- Elois
True wise words from old Franklin, Ben.
"Old women woo;
She's grateful, too."
Ask not "If", but only "When?"
--- Elois
In his penis had unending ague.
With a dirty book he
Got plenty of nookie,
But the juice always ran down his leg.
--- G2208
I will happily jiggle his meat.
If he just wants to watch,
I simply won't touch.
If he dies, well the money'd be neat
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Even Gods find that old age will crimp us.
So far as sex goes,
What once boldly arose,
Now requires the aid of a wimpus."
--- Grand Prix Lim 407 G2178
If Viagra can end all this strife.
I'm just an old fart
And have a weak heart,
But place me on top of my wife.
--- Anon
And last week he snickered, "I'll betcher
I can still go a hop..."
Back from the love shop,
We toted Grandpap on a stretcher.
--- Grand Prix Lim 585
The wall from nine-thirty till two...
Now it's dawn...they're asleep,
And the thought makes me weep...
Long ago, I could do as much, too!
--- Grand Prix Lim 655
You bluster with all of your might.
Though I may be older,
My package is bolder;
I don't need Viagra at night.
--- Anon
Had girls in his garden gazebo.
But decrepit and spent,
Couldn't come, only went;
Unlike the real thing: a placebo.
--- Armand Singer
All night long, as a matter of pride.
By dawn's early light,
He whispered, "Goodnight,"
And went into the bathroom and cried.
--- John Ciardi
Who said, when he'd had a few beers,
"Come on; be a pal,
And find me a gal --
I ain't had one for fifty-eight years.
--- Tiddy Ogg
No matter how many a beer
This guy must have downed,
Till the devil had frowned.
What had passed was too many a year.
--- Nawahl
Quite wrong, for a chap, 84,
And a girl, 76,
In a car, got their kicks,
Until they were caught by the law.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who was thought to be over the hill.
But his wife had a shock
When he pulled out his cock,
And proceeded to give her a thrill.
--- Anon
For some years) is said to abate.
It may well be so,
But how would I know?
I am only seventy-eight.
--- Anon G0084A
Have a brandy, then zip up my fly,
And go run a few laps;
Now I take long deep naps...
How the days of my youth hurry by.
--- William N Nesbit P9607
I guess 18-year-olds should start
To date older women
And fill their quim in,
While both want it often at heart,
--- Anon
Unable to sex as performer,
"What good is my life when
What once was a hyphen --
Or dash is now only a comma.
--- Irving Superior P8311
"I demand a good cure, geriatric.
I want to be spruced,
As by now I'm reduced --
I manage just one single hat-trick."
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8509
"To get it is no longer fun;
To my consternation,
The fleeting sensation
Is over before I've begun."
--- Armand E Singer 594
"Why use yoga, Viagra (the pill),
Or injections, devices,
Cantharides, spices?
My poor organ is over the hill."
--- Armand Singer
"All my dates make such mean fun of me;
My pitiful spend
Seeps out of the end
Of my dink and then dries on my knee."
--- Armand Singer
Who knows every song ever sung.
His neighbors all say
That he gives a good lay,
And his crochets are perfectly hung.
--- Chris Young
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