A logger they called Forest Gump,
Spent nights doing nothing but hump;
He'd jump any rump,
Bump, thump, and pump,
Till his limb, once quite plump, was a stump.
--- Joel D Ash

There was a young man from Siam,
Who said, "I go in with a wham,
But I soon lose my starch,
Like the mad month of March,
And the lion comes out like a lamb."
--- L0095

There was a pragmatic young SPAR,
Who would not let the boys go too far.
An orgasm or two,
She believed, ought to do,
After which she'd say, "Well, there you are."
--- John Ciardi

After a wild rolling wrestle,
In his strong arms she would nestle,
Wrapped with her pharmacist
In the deep morning mist,
As snug as a mortar and pestle.
--- Greg Schindler P9001

Wankus had fucked Christy Wilde,
And she screamed aloud like a child.
When Wankus was done,
He asked if she had fun.
She said it had been pretty mild.
--- Alexander the Poet

Said a sexy young nymph of Newcastle:
"A fuck's at least partly a wrassle,
From the spread of your thighs,
Through the humping and sighs,
To the slow easing out his wet tassel."
--- Grand Prix Lim 772 G0708

A plumber whose name was Tom Brink,
Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink.
Her resistance was stout,
And Tom Brink petered out,
With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink.
--- L0104

Man on top of woman, hasn't long to stay,
His head is full of nonsense, His ass is full of play.
He goes in like a lion, he comes out like a lamb,
And when he buttons up his pants, he isn't worth a damn.

--- Anon

There's a pleasant fog in my brain,
As my senses, I try to regain.
Then serenity's shook
By your word or your look --
And you set me on fire once again.
--- Petal

There once was this old chaperone
Called her charges by microphone;
When caught in the act,
They then hid the fact
Yelling "Coming" in bland monotone.
--- Marlene

A vigorous athlete named Pease
Said, "The thought of old age makes me freeze.
Being no good in bed
Is the thing that I dread.
Middle age is a social disease."
--- A N Wilkins P8512

A feeble old dotard named Ned
Once took a young woman to bed.
When she asked, "Is it in?"
He replied with chagrin,
"I've got it all in but the head."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9209a

An elderly lover named Brown
Smiled, "Memories won't let me feel down;
I just add to the total
Of everything scrotal,
I ever had going in town."
--- Armand E Singer 602

What! Adults don't have any fun?
Why, at forty, life's barely begun!
You're just starting to know
How to squander your dough
On every vice under the sun!
--- John Miller a

On your sixty-fifth birthday, your balls
Shrivel up and your prostate gland falls.
But you still get your kicks
Feeling stoned hippie's pricks,
Phoning strangers, and writing on walls.
--- G2080

Old Bert at 102
Politely asked nurse for a screw.
"Not even a hand
Job!" she said, "Understand?"
"But my balls have dropped off in the loo..."
--- Anon

A man, aged one hundred and one
Still thought that sex was great fun;
His bones they did clatter
And at times they did shatter,
And he'd finish before he'd begun!
--- Anon

A randy old musician named Jake,
Aspired to slip the soprano his snake.
We don't mean to scorn him,
But feel we should warn him.
If she plays with his bone, it will break.
--- Anon

"Old Man," she said rather cheekily,
"Your pelvis is grinding quite creakily."
With one final shove
In her tunnel of love,
He managed to come, although leakily.
--- Ogni Gioia

That's right gal, they're never too old,
One warning, though, that I've been told:
Hot sex in big doses,
Might cause 'em thrombosis,
And meat ain't so sweet when it's cold.
--- Anon

When young, I'd fuck ladies en masse,
On the bed, on the floor, on the grass.
Now with ill fitting denture,
To eat cunt I can't venture,
And my prick, it collapses, alas!
--- Albin Chaplin

A divorcee delivered this view:
"The young men I've tried were untrue.
The old men I've tried,
Though they tried and they tried,
Could never quite tighten the screw."
--- Lance Payne P8509

An old man who lived in Seattle
Engaged a tired whore in -- well, battle.
He shot off three times,
And then shouted, "The crimes
Of the fathers are--" (Offstage death rattle.)
--- G2500

I much prefer fellows who's years
Have taught them the use of their spears.
So, out with the new
And in with the few
Who know when to downshift their gears.
--- Anon

Though I may be about to retire,
Ladies, come light my Christmas fire.
Though I'm well over fifty
Come get this gifty -
Eight inches of throbbing desire!
--- Ogden Nield

There once was an elderly spastic
Whom ladies thought simply fantastic.
He would comfort their itches
With spasms and twitches,
And a whang that was highly elastic.
--- Norm Storer

A holy old man from Lahore
Had dozens of cousins next door.
He was struck by St.Vitus
While performing coitus,
And they echoed his wife's cry: "Encore!"
--- Carl Ludvig P0206

My grandaddy said to me: "Bella,
There's snow on the roof here, young feller,
But many a gel
Has learned very well,
There's still quite a fire in the cellar."
--- Anon

There was an old fogey named Rinnish,
Whose memory did fade and diminish.
For in bed with a date
Though he started first rate,
He forgot what to do at the finish.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2263

A voluptuous Venus named Vickie
Said, "That was okay for a quickie,
But when he's past forty,
You must count on a shorty
That's weaving, deceiving, and ICKY."
--- Grand Prix Lim 247

"Foreplay, hell," mused an oldster named Metz,
"Truth to tell you, all's off with the bets;
When I do feel the yen,
On a scale 1 to 10,
About 4 is as high as it gets."
--- Armand Singer P0001

An aged old fellow named Ripley
Disabled and known to be cripply,
Fucked a girl in his attic
In a manner fanatic,
And, Believe It Or Not, fucked her triply.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2264

If a woman waits thirty-six years,
No wonder sex stirs her to tears.
Full of hope, in her pants,
Sit old gray-headed ants
In cunt juice clear up to their ears!
--- G1631

This is file wkm

I know a frenetic young Mexican,
Who daily seeks all of the sex he can;
After some years
His life will shift gears,
And never be quite so complex again.
--- Norm Storer P9710a

Old people are baggy and gray
And slow, yes, it takes us all day.
And sloppy! You bet.
Just can't be too wet,
And gumming while sucking's 'The Way'.
--- Anon

Said Henry, "My Dear, you can trust
An old man like me! Why I must
Have help from my chair.
Can't get my thing THERE..."
But he did and her cherry is bust!
--- John Miller

Old Richbucks, the shame of Biloxi,
In matters of sex is quite foxy.
His equipment's expired,
But he's got a kid hired
To fuck his old girlfriends by proxy.
--- Grand Prix Lim 650 G2258

At school, said an eager young lad,
When asked by his teacher, Miss Fradd,
What'd he do when he grew,
"Why, I though I told you...
I'll hunt for hot tail, like my dad!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 324

There was an old coot, Ferdie Furson,
Booted from the sex shop loudly cursin'.
Shouted he in a rage,
"With a man of my age,
The first hour or so is rehearsin'!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 373

Why did you all decide
That gone are the days that I ride,
That big bucking bronco;
That magnificent wanko.
I've still got it, I say with great pride
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A couple of codgers who wed
Toddled off to their honeymoon bed.
Though they both had the will,
They were over the hill,
So they lay there and held hands instead.
--- Sylvia Honig

Moaned fast-aging cockster George Hall,
"The weight of my years is no ball;
No looking for foreplay;
What I need is more play,
Or I get no climax at all."
--- Armand Singer

The geriatric couple,
Less lithe and not so supple,
Has propensity
For intensity,
Less foreplay and less trouble.
--- Elois

I see that some of you ken
True wise words from old Franklin, Ben.
"Old women woo;
She's grateful, too."
Ask not "If", but only "When?"
--- Elois

A chumpy old duffer named Sprague,
In his penis had unending ague.
With a dirty book he
Got plenty of nookie,
But the juice always ran down his leg.
--- G2208

The old guy is really quite sweet;
I will happily jiggle his meat.
If he just wants to watch,
I simply won't touch.
If he dies, well the money'd be neat
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Said old Zeus as he sat on Olympus,
"Even Gods find that old age will crimp us.
So far as sex goes,
What once boldly arose,
Now requires the aid of a wimpus."
--- Grand Prix Lim 407 G2178

I'm willing to give up my life
If Viagra can end all this strife.
I'm just an old fart
And have a weak heart,
But place me on top of my wife.
--- Anon

Grandpap in his youth was a lecher
And last week he snickered, "I'll betcher
I can still go a hop..."
Back from the love shop,
We toted Grandpap on a stretcher.
--- Grand Prix Lim 585

The squeak of the bedsprings came through
The wall from nine-thirty till two...
Now it's dawn...they're asleep,
And the thought makes me weep...
Long ago, I could do as much, too!
--- Grand Prix Lim 655

I have sympathy for your plight,
You bluster with all of your might.
Though I may be older,
My package is bolder;
I don't need Viagra at night.
--- Anon

A wealthy old lecher named Debo
Had girls in his garden gazebo.
But decrepit and spent,
Couldn't come, only went;
Unlike the real thing: a placebo.
--- Armand Singer

There was an old geezer who tried,
All night long, as a matter of pride.
By dawn's early light,
He whispered, "Goodnight,"
And went into the bathroom and cried.
--- John Ciardi

I met an old guy from Algiers
Who said, when he'd had a few beers,
"Come on; be a pal,
And find me a gal --
I ain't had one for fifty-eight years.
--- Tiddy Ogg

By this time, it's all pretty clear,
No matter how many a beer
This guy must have downed,
Till the devil had frowned.
What had passed was too many a year.
--- Nawahl

Reports in the papers show you're
Quite wrong, for a chap, 84,
And a girl, 76,
In a car, got their kicks,
Until they were caught by the law.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was an old man from Brazil
Who was thought to be over the hill.
But his wife had a shock
When he pulled out his cock,
And proceeded to give her a thrill.
--- Anon

The enjoyment of sex (although great,
For some years) is said to abate.
It may well be so,
But how would I know?
I am only seventy-eight.
--- Anon G0084A

In times past, with my true love I'd lie,
Have a brandy, then zip up my fly,
And go run a few laps;
Now I take long deep naps...
How the days of my youth hurry by.
--- William N Nesbit P9607

With these peaks so damn far apart
I guess 18-year-olds should start
To date older women
And fill their quim in,
While both want it often at heart,
--- Anon

A Professor of English named Baumer,
Unable to sex as performer,
"What good is my life when
What once was a hyphen --
Or dash is now only a comma.
--- Irving Superior P8311

The doctor was told by old Patrick:
"I demand a good cure, geriatric.
I want to be spruced,
As by now I'm reduced --
I manage just one single hat-trick."

(hat-trick - three goals in one hockey game)
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8509

Groused elderly loverboy Lunn,
"To get it is no longer fun;
To my consternation,
The fleeting sensation
Is over before I've begun."
--- Armand E Singer 594

Wept a limp-dicked old lecher named Bill,
"Why use yoga, Viagra (the pill),
Or injections, devices,
Cantharides, spices?
My poor organ is over the hill."
--- Armand Singer

Wept with shame did an oldster named Lee,
"All my dates make such mean fun of me;
My pitiful spend
Seeps out of the end
Of my dink and then dries on my knee."
--- Armand Singer

There is an old person called Young
Who knows every song ever sung.
His neighbors all say
That he gives a good lay,
And his crochets are perfectly hung.
--- Chris Young