Said Billy, "You're old, and I must
Save this young girl from your lust,
So give her up, pops."
Two bops to the chops --
Bill picked his ass out of the dust.
--- John Miller

There was a young fellow named Fletcher,
A widely reputed old lecher.
When he'd take on a whore,
She'd need a a rebore,
And they'd carry him out on a stretcher.
--- L0295

Judge Hemp and Reverend Lockjaw
Had a prayer meet one eve with my Pa;
Monosyllabic grunts
About sweet college cunts!
They drooled and bellowed "Hee-haw!"
--- Anon

There's a geezer in Lima, Peru,
Who claims he's still able to screw.
No, he isn't uncouth;
He's telling the truth.
He can saw and can hammer well too.
--- P0609

When Joe came to visit young Nell
She convulsed in a bad, sickly spell.
But she said to him, "Dear,
There is nothing to fear,
For my grandmother fucks very well."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0276

My boy, if you like to have fun,
If you take all the girls one by one,
And when reaching four score,
Still don't find it a bore,
Why then, you're a hero, my son.
--- Isaac Asimov

See, as we do age, we do find,
No matter our speed, we're behind.
But this is no race,
So set a slow pace.
And tell your friend's friend to unwind.
--- Anon

Life's great and I'd not wish for more.
Each day I"ve sex at 94,
With young widow Mandy
And for me it is handy,
To live at 92, so next door.
--- Donald McGill

The lovely young lady called Mandy,
To men was just youthful eye-candy.
But at number thirty
Lived old dirty Gerty,
Who was, it would seem, far more randy.
--- Donald McGill

An ancient but jolly old bloke,
Once picked up a lass for a poke.
He wore her plum out
With his fucking about,
And shit in her shoe for a joke.
--- Archie

There was a young wench in Del Norte,
Who liked to screw men over forty.
She said, "It's too quick,
With a young fellow's prick;
I like it to last and be warty.
--- G2314

Said a wife, as they drove out of Boulder,
"Now, before you become any older,
I believe you should know
You're becoming quite slow."
So he stopped on the shoulder and rolled her.
--- Keith MacMillan A025B

There's winter in the hair of my ass.
There's summer in his heart; he has class.
He never misreads
Every one of my needs.
"That's nice; is there spring in his ass?"
--- Anon

A railwayman, running from Crewe,
Said, "How I regret that so few
Lady passengers dream
That I'm still full of steam,
Or else they'd be forming a queue."
--- Harold C Bibby

Getting old's not a cause to be glum,
Or to eschew a ride on her bum,
Though her portal, they say,
May get wrinkled and grey,
It is still pink inside, and still fun!
--- Joe Long

A lovely young thing named Lee Ann,
Attacted an elderly man.
She started to weep as she said with a pout,
His lack of inventiveness puts me to rout.
It's the same old damn thing, weak in and weak out,

And I'm doing the best that I can.
--- J Robert Greene A

At last in his sixties he came
And was asked if he still liked the game.
"Well, I'm losing my zest
To compete with the best,
But I'm rough on the halt and the lame.
--- Laurence Perrine P8509

A hooker who worked in LA
Charged two hundred bucks for a lay.
But a geezer caused trouble
And had to pay double,
'Cause it took him two thirds of a day.
--- Arnie schoenbrun P0608

This was an extended duration
But just minutes for cohabitation.
The bulk of time spent,
By the persistent old gent,
Was working on penile inflation.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0608

Preached Reverend Algernon King,
"A dirty old mind's a good thing;
You still crave it in bed,
But it's all in your head;
Ten years since your last goatish fling."
--- Armand Singer

There was a young girl of Berlin,
Who was raped by an elderly Finn.
Though he diddled his best,
And screwed her with zest,
She kept asking, "Hey Pop! Is it in?"
--- L0005

At ninety a codger named Fred
Claimed to have little trouble in bed
With a pretty young chick.
He managed the trick
With a capsule called "Upjohn", he said.
--- A N Wilkins P8509

There was an old codger named Ben
Who had a most terrible yen.
The problem was not
The how, why, or what,
But the who and the where and the when.
--- G0014

There was a young man who gave chase,
To loose women. A pitiful case,
Made more sordid by wine,
Till at seventy-nine,
He died with an evil grimace.
--- John Ciardi A

Geriatric sex coupling is fine;
There's no need to wilt on the vine.
So if you're mature,
Let's let love endure.
Will it be at your place or mine.
--- Chris Papa

An eighty year old was Sir John,
When he wed twenty year old Yvonne.
His friends told him, "Jack,
She's a sex maniac."
Sir John said, "You're putting me one."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9209a

Though Grandpa had reached eighty-four,
He loved to have sex more and more;
To Grandma's delight,
He would screw her each night,
Till he came with a thunderous roar.
--- Cap'n Bean P0107

"It's a young wife I need," said the sage,
"Who'll react to my sexual rage.
My old girl's got no spring,
And I do the whole thing--
Damn hard work for a man of my age!"
--- G0174

To Grandpa sex is quite a must.
The old lady is still blest with lust.
So life's not too bad,
But it remains sad.
When he's come, she's showered with dust.
--- Dirruk

Old age to this couple is kind,
Their marriage the best one can find.
For he to her chaff
Has grown totally deaf,
And she to his failings is blind.
--- Laurence Perrine P8509

They say sex when you're old is still fun,
Just as long as you walk and don't run.
But it comes as a shock
When you're still in one sock,
And find things have already begun.
--- Anon

A maestro by name of Calhoun
Was wed to a withered old prune.
When his friends did deride,
With a smile he replied,
"On old fiddles, I play a fine tune."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2488

I know an old codger named Lee,
Whose age is one hundred and three;
He has sex with Miss Wren,
Who's one hundred and ten.
This is something I'd rather not see.
--- Cap'n Bean

This is file wjm

When a perky old Blue met a Grey,
She said, "Sir, would you like to go play?"
After dinner and wine,
He said, "Your place or mine?"
And they played Civil War in the hay.
--- William N Nesbit P9605

There was an old lady aloof,
Who thought that old Rufe was a spoof.
To his penthouse she went
With this harmless old gent,
But old Rufe on the roof gave her proof.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1305

Engrossed, he sure ain't Alley Oop;
While she over and over does whoop:
"Super sex"! she does offer,
To get him to boff her;
At last, he says: "Yeah, gimme soup!"
--- Anon

He said: "Now dear, over you bend-o,
And soon we will reach a crescendo."
She said: "Don't be coy."
Replied the old boy:
"OK, straight, and not innuendo."
--- Anon

In Summer he said she was fair,
In Autumn her charms were still there;
But he said to his wife
In the Winter of life,
"There's no Spring in your old derriere."
--- Anon

A one-woman fellow named Thorn
Once wept he had ever been born.
By the time he persuaded
His girl, she was faded,
And he was too aged and worn.
--- Isaac Asimov

Although Sally and I have grown old,
We still treasure our games more than gold.
We still play hide 'n seek
Once or twice every week,
And so do our grand-kids, I'm told.
--- John Miller 0041

And the one's our own age who do
Give in to our wishes and screw,
Don't want it often
Enough, for us boffin'
Machines full of gallons of spew.
--- Anon

In the Home, an old Grey met a Blue,
And said, "I can still function. Can you?
She said, "Sure, if we're done
Before fifty past one,
Because bingo starts promptly at two."
--- William N Nesbit P9605 a

A young corporate banker named Beatty
Once had an affair with a lady.
It wouldn't have been
Such a sin, had she been
A couple of years under eighty.
--- Anon

In the quaint little village, St. Claude,
Lived a 90 year old virgin named Maude.
One day she moaned,
"I'll never get boned,
Till I firm up this wrinkled old bod".
--- Anon

At "Heaven's Awaiting You" care,
Old Bert is in deepest despair;
For his lady friend, Kate,
At one hundred and eight,
Has embarked on another affair.
--- Peter Wilkins

"But Katie, I love you sincerely."
"I know, my dear Bert, but your nearly
One hundred and three
And you can't even pee,
Whereas Tom can still manage it yearly."
--- Peter Wilkins

Said an old maid one fondly remembers,
"Now my days are quite clearly Septembers.
All my fires have burned low,
I'll admit that it's so,
But you still might have fun in the embers."

(But your poker feels great in my embers!")
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

Rapid aging leaves me in a stupor;
She was hot in the flick "Starship Troopers,"
In a very short time
She's 'way past her prime,
And her boobs have become C-cup droopers.
--- Anon

So slow was the horny old duchess,
She could never keep out of men's clutches.
She was fucked as she ran,
By a one-legged man,
Who managed to crotch her on crutches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0119

"At 20, said Joe, "I'd have drilled you.
At 50, I guess I'd have thrilled you;
But not now, when you're weighty,
And 80, dear Katie,
With cunt infestations of mildew."
--- Peter Wilkins

An elderly matron named Jude
Was screwed by a man who was stewed.
She exclaimed in disgust,
"My old man, he's a bust;
Now I know what it's like to be screwed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0224

She was old but she still liked to do it.
She'd lost all her teeth and we knew it.
I took her to bed;
She grinned and she said,
"I gum, I don't fuck, I eschew it."
--- Anon A

All the dames at the Home for the Aged
Lay in wait for the chance thay might lay Jed,
Who though octogenarian,
Was a horny and hairy 'un;
They'd cry, "How 'bout a romp in the hay, Jed?"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8509

You know how it is with old folk.
We'll do anything to get a good poke.
Whether old or young,
Hard dick or tongue,
We can still give you a good soak.
--- Anon

There was a young lady who wouldn't.
Her mother had told her she shouldn't.
When dear mama died,
She felt free. So she tried,
But by then she's so old that she couldn't.
--- Isaac Asimov

I lured this ol' gal, with a wink
And a promise of wild sex and drink.
But, to my lament,
The next morn, when she went,
She left her teeth there in the sink!
--- Anon

In this case I'd not make a stink;
You did pretty well, I should think.
Teeth out for the job
Costs ten extra bob,
From the girls at the Happy Hour Rink.
--- Anon

Rhonda, the BEST at that rink
Has habits akin to a mink.
For a small sum of cash
And just an eyelash,
She can get you to come in a blink.
--- Anon

You may not believe me, and yet,
Old gals are the very best bet.
They don't yell, tell, or swell,
And they fuck hard as hell,
For it may be the last one they'll get!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0234

Oh yes, I remember ol' Cookie,
And that all-nighter cowboy nookie.
Though older than dirt,
I did make him hurt;
At love making I am no rookie.
--- Anon

A pious old lady of Brewster,
Forgave all who'd ever abused her,
But flew into a rage,
Time could not assuage,
When she thought of one cad who'd refused her.
--- John Ciardi

At 90, when boffing, May's thrust lags,
And when on her knees ol' May's bust drags;
But for her dry twat
Just look what May's got;
She wipes that thing clean with new dust rags.
--- Anon

A middle-aged lady once reckoned,
The passage of time to a second,
Then rounded it out
To ten years, just about,
Since the last man had come when she beckoned.
--- John Ciardi

As the years go by and the pleasure
Has been had many times beyond measure,
We don't need so much
And the timing is such,
That ladies our age start to treasure.
--- Anon

Getting old's not a cause to be glum,
Or to eschew a ride on her bum;
Though her portal, they say,
May get wrinkled and gray,
It is still pink inside, and still fun!
--- Q

There was an old maid of Duluth,
Who wept when she thought of her youth,
Remembering chances
She missed at school dances,
And once in a telephone booth.

(With a "lithpy" young man name of "Brooth".)
--- Anon A

There once was a lady who thought
Only one thing, but thought it a lot.
She thought yes and no,
Till at eighty or so,
She decided she rather thought not.
--- John Ciardi