They all want to be the big chief;
They scream that our leader's a thief.
I have a strong hunch,
They'll be losing a bunch
Of those who don't share their belief.
--- Tomer Shiran

When Americans averaged one ball,
The results would be easy to call.
Each foreign attempt
Would meet with contempt,
With contrary results, if at all.
--- John Miller

Today, though, I really don't know;
It could be your average joe
Considers it best
For the "Global Test",
To determine the way we should go.
--- John Miller

So who'll be the winner this Fall?
Who cares ? Hardly matters at all!
But the ways that us guys
Put up with their lies,
Any balls that we have must be small.
--- John Miller

The messiah is led in with cheers.
He promised, "I'll lessen your fears.
Who is with me I bless,
But I have to confess,
I fear 'twill be four more years tears.
--- Dirruk

The politics here have a stench,
Made worse by some "help" from the bench.
While queer lunatics
Add slime to the mix,
And perfume is supplied by the French.
--- Ward Hardman

Those dumb French who exult over Kerry
Can all line up to kiss my sweet derri-
Ere I'd vote for that fart,
Who is no "object d'art,"
I'd prefer to commit hari kiri.
--- Ward Hardman

The hooker got drunk on sweet sherry,
And partisan she is so very.
She went much too far;
Announced at Quinn's Bar,
A free fuck if you vote for John Kerry.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0411

If you're out of the race, I won't sob.
Not a minute of sleep will it rob.
Here's a Bronx cheer
For you, my dear.
Why don't you try getting a real job?
--- Frank Petersohn

Despite all the campaigning swill,
I think we should vote, and I will,
'Cause though both are bad,
I'm awfully glad
We're no longer dealing with Bill.
--- John Miller

Compared to these two, Bill's a star,
But Monica took him too far.
She swallowed his seeds
But such are the deeds
Of one who makes love and not war.
--- SFA

This election could give you a stroke,
But I laugh (or I cry) till I choke.
In a land full of phonies
And pork barrel cronies,
All three of these guys are a joke!
--- John Miller

Says Flip-Flop, "The next Prez is me.
I'm whatever you want me to be."
But lies and deception
May get poor reception;
We'll just have to watch, wait, and see!
--- Observer

When Dubya again wins the race,
He'll say to John Kerry, "Hey, Ace,
You're loved by the French
And that Heinz ketchup wench,
So tell me, boy, why the long face?"
--- Travis Brasell

Said Kerry, "My wench is an ass,
And she's arrogant, loud-mouthed, and crass.
And when shove comes to push,
She ain't no Laura Bush,
But she represents Democrat class!"
--- Observer

If Bush is to win fair and square,
He'll sure need some help to get there;
'Cause his act is so phony --
He's no good without Tony
(New Labor Prime Minister) Blair.
--- Observer

Said Tony Blair, "I'm more than willing
To share, with George Bush, equal billing,
And just like in Iraq,
It should come as no shock,
With my help, old George makes a killing!"
--- Observer

But deceit is the chief of his sins:
Tony cares not which candidate wins.
Whether Kerry or Bush
Ends up flat on his tush --
He'll just greet it with one of his grins.
--- Robin T Cox

George Bush lies, as everyone knows;
I'll be pissed when he finally goes.
He won't be missed
And his pardon list
Is still growing, just like his nose.
--- Robin T Cox

It's great when you try to inspire
Our support saying, "Bush is a liar!"
But if we pick Kerry,
I'm thinking we'll very
Much jump from the pan to the fire.
--- David Miller

While buggering hens and small mice,
Three every day just suffice.
I had a thought scary;
Between Bush and Kerry,
Young Monica starts to look nice.
--- Archie

Not only she starts to look nice,
Whenever we look at her eyes,
They sure do arouse us,
And down in our trousers,
The tensions then suddenly rise.
--- Dirruk

Tragedy? Farce? Do you know?
All phony, and all about dough.
Should we laugh? Should we cry?
I only know I
Know it's not a reality show.
--- John Miller

Enough of the Red, Blue, and White!
The Red with its nuts on the right.
The tax-raising Blue
With its true pinko hue,
And our knuckles all White with the fright.
--- John Miller

I truly don't know who scares most:
Bush, Kerry or Mao Tse-tsung's ghost.
I only fear worse,
A ride in a hearse,
Or the trumpets of the Heavenly Host.
--- John Miller

Despite some Republican boasts
Of reducing the Liberals to ghosts,
A look at the map
Shows it turning to crap,
As pollution sweeps in from the coasts.
--- John Miller

It's pointless to sit there and twiddle
Your thumbs as you ponder this riddle;
If you're so darned bright
Then why has the right
Like cancer spread out from the middle?
--- John Miller

By map, I'm a Red for sure,
'Cause all Blues live near the shore.
But I voted my mind
And got kicked in the 'hind,
When Red pimping turned Blues into whores.
--- Susie Cue

If maps, each voter could trawl
Beyond any factions recall,
The lavender hue
Would prove it to you;
We're one nation united, after all.
--- John Miller

As a nation we don't always think,
Which brought Ancient Rome to the brink.
Which is worse for our mores,
Gay Marriage or Wars,
But old Dubya says, "Pour more drinks!"
--- Susie Cue

We went through a very long night,
But it's over and now I just might
Say this right out loud:
This time I am proud;
Us Americans done did it right.
--- John Miller

While Clinton was known for his blow job,
And citizens sweat about no job,
Isn't it great
That each candidate
Has nothing to give but a snow job?
--- John Miller

The vote has unearthed a surprise and
A blow to those Hollywood guys, and
I'm happy to say,
I read it as a
Come-uppance for Barbara Streisand.
--- John Miller

This is file wfl

Would Monica swallow for George?
Would Johnny entice her to gorge
Herslf with his phrases?
Not until one of them says he's
For peace, and thats what he'll forge.
--- J Boehe

Although the Dems got rid of Al Gore,
From the woodwork, they come more and more.
They jump into the race.
Just who will Dubya face
For the presidency in '04?
--- Al Bienstock

Daschle? Lieberman? Kerry? Gephart?
Is it Edwards? Is it Gary Hart?
The last one in the past
Had been coming on fast,
Till the press caught him out with a tart.
--- Al Bienstock

For Republicans, high on the list
Is the new Senate leader, Bill Frist.
I hope he'll be stronger
And last a lot longer
That Lott, whose dumb deals won't be missed.
--- Al Bienstock

It's only September, I see,
In the year of two-thousand and three.
Much to early to tell,
Yet the pundits all yell,
"I know who will win! Hark to Me!"
--- Tomer Shiran

Dean tapped in Dems gnashing and bashing;
Those giving Bush vicious tongue-lashing.
Who cares I can't win;
My goal in the end
Is to outdo McGovern's big thrashing.
--- Tomer Shiran

There once was a man from Vermont
Whose wisdom was sorely in want.
But sadly his lack
Sent him front of the pack,
Though his mainstream credentials are guant.
--- Tomer Shiran

Dean Wins!, read the right, with dismay.
Oh No! Oh My Lord! Rue the Day!
As he socialized health,
And taxed all our wealth,
And went the Canadian way.
--- Tomer Shiran

Dean wanted the Dem's nomination,
And so waited in anticipation,
For our soldiers collapse
And fatal mishaps,
As if failure was good for the nation.
--- Tomer Shiran

Another Dean Basher is Hannity;
This man has no heart or humanity.
But as victory draws near,
We have nothing to fear,
So we smile as we question his sanity.
--- Anon

Can't sleep. I await "Face the Nation."
Will this Wilson thing cause consternation?
I sure hope Howard Dean
Will be making a scene,
And giving Carl Rove constipation.
--- Anon

What can one say about Howard Dean?
His image is squeaky and clean.
But he's a bit of a dick,
A monumental big prick;
I can't vote for a man prissy and clean.
--- Tomer Shiran

A man from Vermont, who's named Dean,
Tends to come off as sounding quite mean.
He's snarky and snide
If you're not on his side,
Which could hurt his election machine.
--- Tomer Shiran

God bless our Senator Byrd;
He knew bush's war was absurd.
It would really be keen
If he came out for Dean;
Would someone please give him the word?
--- Anon

The right-wing thinks Bush is annointed,
And Democrats' heads are disjointed.
But they will all cry
And we will know why,
When Howard makes Bush disappointed.
--- Anon

Mr Dean had his fans from all quarters,
All places within U.S. borders.
They did cartwheels and flips
With his name on their lips;
He had really athletic supporters.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

The wannabe prez, Howard Dean,
Is watching his campaign careen
Off into a ditch,
'Cause he's got an itch
To act like an immature teen.
--- Observer

He's not acting too presidential,
As some folks consider essential.
Just between me and you,
He's got a loose screw,
And he's lacking in prez potential.
--- Observer

And furthermore, his wife's contrary
And seems so disinterested, very.
She's made it quite clear
She likes "her career",
So, guess Dems may settle for Kerry.
--- Observer

Last month they thought we were funny.
Birkenstock Liberals soaking in honey.
But we now have on hand
What Politicos understand;
A big fat fucking pile of money!
--- Anon

But all of Bill critics will shush
If he should give Johnny the push
Into the White House,
And prove to his spouse,
He really can say no to a Bush.
--- SFA

So sad was John Kerry's face,
When Clark jumped right into the race,
And said, "Bad new for you!
I served in Nam too!
Your one selling point's been erased."
--- Tomer Shiran

The Democratic stick man John Kerry
Has a face that's described as just scary.
He tells everyone and his mom
How he served in Vietnam,
But the man even pissed off Dave Barry.
--- Tomer Shiran

A political fellow, John Kerry,
(And here is the part that get's scary.)
Said, "I first voted for,
But don't do that no more,
Though I might if the going gets hairy."
--- Arthur Deex P0406

Next fall the election will wind up.
The candidates' wounds they will bind up.
Let's hope, if Kerry wins,
As his 1st term begins,
That he will finally make his mind up!
--- Tom Patton P0407

With opinions, John Kerry is vocal,
They all play to the yokels local.
All subject to change,
They to extremes range,
With fine points that are mostly trochal.
--- Chris Papa

John Kerry, like me, is from Boston,
Where morals are stricter than Austin.
But John found renown
In Washington Town,
Where morals are scarce and he lost 'em.
--- John Miller

Ms Kerry, the Heinz bucks, she's got 'em.
They've much more than Clinton and Rodham.
John is so inventive
Giving her incentive;
He gets sex by slapping her bottom.
--- Tom Patton P0407

Now Kerry is quoting the Bible!
The next thing you know he is liable
To quote from the Koran
Or else if he can,
Kama Sutra or something more tribal.
--- John Miller

JFK is a catholic, you know;
The second such John in a row.
(Like Hillary Rhodam,
I'll bet you that Saddam
Is more like the way he would go.)
--- John Miller

Kerry is Catholic, that's true,
Did you know that he's also half Jew?
In old Wein, gramps was known
By the surname of Kohn;
Now matzoh ball soup's Irish stew.
--- Ward Hardman

Why thank you! If all this is true.
I'll take a more catholic view,
And learn which is worse
A political curse:
An Irishman, Texan, or Jew!
--- John Miller

It looks like John Kerry's on top,
Though he could be the worst of the crop.
My question today
For this new JFK:
Does the "F" stand for Flip or for Flop?
--- John Miller

Senator John Kerry is his name.
To be President is his aim.
He will speak anywhere
A lone voter is there.
He is beating the bushes for fame.
--- Tom Patton P0411