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There once was a Senator Kerry The NEBULOUS nonsense of Kerry I thought we might get someone new, Presidents? I've seen a few. Kerry? He's somebody new? Now he might have a higher IQ Kerry was a front-running man, Do you think that George Bush is a curse? Al Sharpton knows how to get votes If health care cost cause you to dismay, Dick Gephardt, a man from Missouri, Although Gephardt may be a real brain, John Kerry will win, ain't that nice? The third party's doing a fader; Let's hear it for old Wesley Clark, The ex-general named Wesley Clark, Please don't be conderned about Clark; There's this to be said about Kerry, There once was a man named Kerry The topic: The College Electoral. Michael has 17% for. (Dem candidates Jan 04 less popular than Michael Jackson)
Who will run as a Demo, this time? A very staid fellow, Dukakis; What portends if we vote for Dukakis? Will Dukakis win in a grand swoosh? U.S. "Tories" are surely in luck, up Remember Mondale and Ferraro? I have a good notion or two; I think we should cut to the chase; There once was a man named Bob Dole Bob Dole has made it quite plain; The Republicans sound the alarm, The next G.O.P. nominee -- (presidential race of 1996)
Robert Dole said, "Lookie here, men. Though your Kansan is clearly the soul There was an old man named Bob Dole, There once was a man named Dole, Give 'em Hell, Bob! You're on quite a roll! The candidate, Senator Dole, Politicos often shift role, An old politician named Dole, Pity poor Robert J. Dole, My computer will morph Robert Dole, Right-to-lifers will be Dole's undoing, We are tired of fast talk and slick schemes, George Bush is so bland he's inedible, Libby likes men who are wired; With the 21st Century ahead, There once was a man, wan and pale, The White House is sick with dry rot, B-1 Bob simply won't go away E. Dole is not first choice of mine, And then there's the one of Bob Dole While visiting Santa's North Pole, A gent of Republican Creed To Bob and Jack, a tough fight isn't new. Bob Dole took his time to decide, That Bob Dole is confused is quite plain; Liz' campaign needs lots of pots and new dough; Old Bob had decided to sire Dole's nose dive left body guards shaken His critics say Dole really blew it, His wife playing with candidacy, Sorrowful, sad, dismal, DOLEFUL, Poor old Dole, he sure needed a "bump", Please do not vote for Bob Dole;
Whose message, despite being very
Sore-throated and raucous,
Made Iowa's caucus
Dick Gephardt's campaign cemetary!
--- Anon
Who expresses ideas contrary
On our Union's state,
And plans for its fate,
With multiple views that vary.
--- Chris Papa
And not still the same sorry crew.
'Twould be a relief,
A Commander-in-Chief
Who had a three figure IQ.
--- SFA
No good ones at all, in my view.
Most of them liars,
And loud-mouthed wolf-criers,
But somehow we still muddle through.
--- John Miller
Twenty years in that damn Senate crew!
The same old same old,
He's bought, then he's sold
By a Party; what else should they do?
--- John Miller
Than Bush, But I'll bet this is true:
When the shit hits the fan,
He'll do what he can,
No better than George Bush would do.
--- John Miller
Till contradictions botched up his plan.
Reversing stances each day,
In what he would say.
Except, "Did I say I was in Vietnam?"
--- Tomer Shiran
My prophesy, chapter and verse:
"It will not take long
For those this to go wrong
Under Kerry to get that much worse."
--- John Miller
With a system he quietly promotes.
The price of BRASS COLLAR
Is roughly a dollar,
And sometimes just four bits, he notes.
--- Norm Brust
Bob Kerry's come up with a way
To reduce them to zero,
And emerge as a hero--
By making the other guy pay.
--- John Sandler P9204
Is running for prez, though a flurry
Of others I know,
Run a much better show,
That this poor hapless man from Missouri.
--- Tomer Shiran
Electing him might cause a pain.
For how many folks
Are prepared for the jokes
With the first couple named Dick and Jane?
--- A N Wilkins P8804
But a sly runnin-mate is the price.
An accident tragic
Then works its great magic,
And Hillary's free of her "Vice".
--- John Miller
They won't succeed as a raider
Of votes from the asses
Or elephant masses,
Because we're all bored now with Nader.
--- Archie
Whose bite is much worse than his bark.
He is a man of peace
To the east of Greece;
Let his Serb record stay in the dark.
--- DC Dave
As president, would be a shot in the dark.
He knows much about war;
Can't relate to the poor.
I'm afraid this old dog has no bark.
--- Tomer Shiran
His bites not as bad a Dean's bark.
We know Bill and Hil
Think Wes fills the bill,
But they are both whistling in the dark.
--- Anon
If elected, the chances are very
Much less in '08,
A damned reprobate
In the white house will cheat and make merry.
--- John Miller
Climed his kin were from old Tipperary.
Says his statements are true
'Til out of the blue,
He says something quite contrary.
--- Anon
We flexed muscles -- cerebral and oral.
Eyes glued to the tubes
We watched the two boobs --
I wish that the pair were pectoral.
--- Jim O'Conner P8412a
Not too much if you're keeping score.
Candidates Democratic
Would all be ecstatic
As for them each has less and not more.
--- Tom Patton P0401
Those who have declared can't be called prime.
Lieberman? Gary Hart?
Kerry? Gephart's a start.
Then there's Sharpton, but he doesn't rhyme.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0303
Neither too loud nor too raucous;
But he would make us more happy
If he'd say something snappy,
Or one little thing just to shock us.
--- Herb Caen's column P8806
Will our choice be a man who will mock us?
With high taxes to stun
For the earnings we've won
Is it likely for Michael to cock us?
--- Bob Giandomenico P8808
Or will he fall flat on his tush?
The debates that I see
Keep convincing me,
He's just beating around the Bush.
--- Ann Gasser P8811
To now, mostly Democrats fuck up.
JFK, Hart, and Clinton
Have dropped us the hint on
What LIBERAL "members" get stuck up.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
"We're going to win on the morrow!"
But Reagan, you'll note,
Captured most of the vote.
For Mondale/Ferraro, just sorrow.
--- Gifford Wherry
Vote for me and I'll vote for you.
We'll campaign together;
Bimbo taunts we'll weather.
If you win, your interns I will screw.
--- Steevo
The base is a limerick place.
Clinton and Dole
Do not fit this role.
They are in a political race.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who liked to smoke some pole.
He bent over for kicks,
Taking BIG pricks,
While huge guys nailed his hole.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
About family, he likes to complain.
Folks like that a lot
(And that's what Bob thought)
In the end, it will help his campaign
--- Al Willis P9508
"The unborn shall not be harmed.
For birth control
Is easy," says Dole,
Whose dick hangs like his right arm.
--- Anon
Who, pray tell, will it be?
Bob Dole is too old,
Pat Buchanan will fold,
Which leaves it between you and me!
--- Writerman
This is file wel
Have courage and beard the lion's den.
Just suffer the pains
And hold on to your gains,
And I will hold on to my pen."
--- Al Willis
Of industry, and though his goal
Is to make his own way.
For the Senate today,
He persistently favors the Dole.
--- A N Wilkins P8609
In the Senate he had great control.
He was a good man
Who had a good plan;
A plain citizen will be his next role.
--- Peavy
Who lived in the township of Poll.
When asked for a reference
To his sexual preference,
He said, "Man, a hole is a hole!"
--- Lazarus
Other issues? Dear me, bless my soul.
Health concerns or "The Debt,"
Why indeed should you fret?
With your perks, are you not on the Dole?
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9508
Was arrested for playing the role
Of a Christian right-winger,
Whose a liberal swinger
With a wit that's acerbic, but droll.
--- Anon
And success goes to those without soul.
As a party moves right,
The knave becomes knight,
Though I wouldn't touch Dole with a pole.
--- John D
Had a hankering for Liz's back hole.
She called it skullduggery,
His passion for buggery;
He called it "Mining for Coal"!
--- Blackbody
A decent respectable soul.
When he took that stumble,
It paralleled his tumble
In the latest CNN voter poll.
--- Quilis
So his features resemble his soul.
But wait! That's no fun.
It's already been done.
No wonder he can't win a poll.
--- Larry Dahl
Though distaff-side voters he's wooing.
For the Christian Coalition's
Staked out its position:
There'll b e no more legal unscrewing!
--- CB
And big spending on liberal themes.
It will take Bob and Jack
To get us back on track
And restore the American Dream.
--- Anon
Pat Robertson's pitch too incredible.
I think, on the whole,
I shall go with Bob Dole
And pray that he turns out un-beddable.
--- Richard P Monley P8805
Men who from sex ain't retired.
She put Bob on Viagra,
Now he flows like Niagara,
And friends report he's inspired.
--- Mira Carr
By whom, will we choose to be led?
If a bright future's our goal,
We will choose Kemp and Dole!
And our flag will fly free overhead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who condoned cigarettes and their sale.
It may cost Bob the race
To that incumbent disgrace,
But at least he knows how to inhale.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Brought on by thick scandals and plots.
Bob Dole won't stop trying
To keep it from dying.
To save it, he'll give all he's got.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As he proves voter fraud in L.A.
He now has enough proof
To raise Congress's roof,
And make it clean up election decay.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Having seen her mincing words so fine.
For my money,
This southern honey
Is Bill Clinton in full crinoline.
--- Tom Simon
Who's got one in every hole.
His penis engorged
Dear Liddy gets splorged,
While Bob Livingstone slips her his pole.
--- Anon
They couldn't find Clinton a role.
The presents were wrapped
And the reindeer had crapped.
"I have an idea", said Dole.
--- H Myers T9712
Lost last election. Now freed,
To remake his face,
It's still in same place
And very DOLEFUL, indeed.
--- Chris Papa
Now it's time to sign on to their crew.
We must put our oars in
And help these men win
As the finish line comes into view.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The one who would stand by his side.
Then in proud voice,
Announced Kemp as his choice
And let it be known nationwide.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He will aid his wife's rival, McCain.
Why'd he two time his dame?
Is Viagra to blame?
Now he wants to "direct" her campaign.
--- Anon
His I'll raise 'em has Bob running her show.
Yet she swears there won't be
A co-presidency;
Will Bob stop his steering? Hell, no!
--- Anon
A cub with his shriveled up wire.
He got himself ready
To find a good Betty,
But if he says he came through, he's a liar.
--- Nate Birholzn
And the toes of a camera man achin'.
But Bob bounced back with style,
As he quipped with a smile,
"If you think, I've bailed out, you're mistaken."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With the simple drug message, 'Don't do it!'
But they'll swallow their smirks
When they find that it works.
All it takes is the guts to say 'Screw it!'
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For the U.S. presidency;
Elizabeth Dole
Does so well in a poll,
No wonder old Bob had E.D. (erectile dysfunction)
--- Frank Petersohn
He appeared ill, not merely woeful;
With loss he did grapple,
A peck of pineapple
Now filled him to brim, quite Dole full.
--- Daniel Ford
(Pollster talk for a big ratings jump)
So he brought back the Voodoo,
The tax cuts, the doo-doo;
He just may persuade Forrest Gump.
--- CB
Don't put honorable men in control.
What? No high-level whoring?
That's utterly boring!
And scandal is good for the soul.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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