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At the Kennedy Compound they say Willy said, "Uncle Teddy, I blew it. "Though my children all know I'm behind them," Ted teaches his nephew, "I caught her, The Senator answered, "I guess Untouchables may be SACROSANCT, Though it's not quite a place in the stars, (Knight-Ridder newspapers, July 5, 1991 on NASA archives)
In the case of revered JFK, And whether on land or on yacht A Washington callgirl named Saks To JFK, Jackie said, "Why There once was a widow named Jackie, Since Ari made unending passes About his wife, JFK said, The end of the Camelot romance "Your inaugural bash, J.F.K., And now there is John John's last wish When they got to the compound, she shrilly We know Teddy's a lecherous blimp, Bob was finally given the toss-- Soon after they shot JFK, The Kennedy compound celebrated, Their life style with questions is fraught. Ted was livid and didn't disguise it, I am trashing John-John in this verse. His babysitter thought, should he? There once was a man named Mike; JFK played the usual games Chris Matthews and some Democrats said, Some Democrats are making a fuss His voice is sacred, don't you dare use it; Some Democrats would love to set rules From some Dems, the hypocrisy drips Sighs Kennedy (Rose) matriarch, Said Teddy to Willy, "My boy, I'd much rather have a bad rash, (Mike Kennedy killed bashed into a tree 1998 - McW)
That Kennedy phrase so ferocious, (Ask not what...originally said by Kahil Gibran)
Down South there it's not quite the same. Though she said she said, "I'm from Jupiter," DEFENDANT
Your Honor,...the dirtiest trick! PLAINTIFF
Your Honor, I'm sure it was rape. DEFENDANT
Your Honor,...request a delay DEFENSE COUNSEL
Your Honor,...Cheap lay! I object. PLAINTIFF'S COUNSEL
Since no on-the-scene witness is, JUDGE TO JURY
If she wins, the next time she's willing, JUDGE TO JURY
There once waqs a squirrel called Free "A problelm with alcohol? Bunk!" The Prez, with his wife on safari, (but they both are horny - McW)
The left claims the right wants you dead; Said Teddy, "It's quite a disgrace. (from the Kennedy compound)
Once a young Senator from old Mass There once was a Senator from Mass, I once asked the Bishop of Leigh Am I caustic and slightly acidic The Senator was feeling dim Said Teddy, arms hanging akimbo, The senator, looking for sin; If she lived, she'd be sixty-two. He'd have brought comfort to her old age; His desertion let Mary Jo die, "Willie boy," chided wise Uncle Ted, (And make sure that the floozie is dead.")
Uncle Teddy, that fat wad of slime, JFKs book was written for snores; Said Willy, "Don't dare to deprive In the gleam of the bright polished chrome, Politicians must think we are dumb a lot,
They have fun "The Kennedy Way."
There the sex act is stressed
And if you protest,
They'll prove compound the word of the day.
--- Jane D Hughes P9108
She cries rape, I swear I didn't do it.
Can she prove it in court?"
Teddy said, "Listen, Sport,
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9108
Rose Kennedy says, "I remind them.
At 101
I still say to my son,
'Pick up your pants, if you can find them'."
--- A N Wilkins P9109a
And she finally gave in when I fought her.
Chappaquiddick was bliss!
Bill, listen to this:
I had learned how to fuck underwater!"
--- Don Moore P9108
The Florida place. More or less
The usual run
Of quiet family fun.
What will you do for Easter recess?"
--- A N Wilkins P9108
But some places they're not highly ranked.
And some sacred cows
Are losing their wows,
Witness Kennedy driving half-tanked.
--- Daniel Ford
A satellite photo of scars
On the neighboring planet,
Say the experts who scan it,
Shows Ted Kennedy's visage on Mars.
--- A N Wilkins P9108
He wasn't in anyone's pay.
His father, old Joe,
Had stolen the dough,
So Johnny was only at play.
--- Anon
He held court in sweet Camelot
(Or would it be better
To add one more letter
And openly say that he came-a-lot)
--- Anon
Would help JFK to relax.
When political whangs
Switched to handjobs from bangs,
She made plenty of jack jacking Jack's.
--- Jim O'Conner P9302
The hell ain't been laid since July?
Screw your damned backache.
What about my poor crackache?
Off your ass, Jack, and give it a try."
--- Michael Weinstein P9001
Whose wardrobe was getting plain tacky.
So she married Ari,
And went to Paree,
And near bought the town out, by cracky.
--- John Ciardi
At shapely and screwable lasses,
Was something neglected?
Sighed Jackie, dejected,
"To be candid -- my very Onassis."
--- Jim O'Conner P9206A
"That broads's a real kick in the head.
Whenever I frig her,
I frig her with VIGAH,
Still she wants Lyndon Johnson instead."
--- Michael Weinstein P9001
Brought about by a sad happenstance.
Junior JFK
Is now out of the way,
Improving Hillary's chance.
--- Frank Petersohn
There's going to be one gala day."
Said the chief, "There's no doubt
That you've figured it out.
I can handle just one gal a day."
--- A N Wilkins P8912
That he wanted much to accomplish.
He said to the maid,
"Do not be afraid
To feed the dog -- I'll feed the fish."
--- D'Arcy
Chided him saying, "I feel silly.
You had me all ready
To see the Big Teddy,
Yet offer instead a Wee Willy."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9108
Suspect Packwood's hung like a shrimp.
More deserving of censure
Is the one with more tenure --
Not the Senate's ex-face-kissin' wimp!
--- William Nesbit
On the whole, no significant loss.
But while Packwood, the knave,
Has retired to his cave,
Teddy still has more bridges to cross.
--- William N Nesbit P9512
An angel inspired LBJ.
"For a screwing of note,
Try the hole in Jack's throat."
And old Lyndon soon shouted, "A-OK!".
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
Has owners who sometimes debated
Whether they ought to post
This sign near the coast:
"Trespassers will be violated."
--- A N Wilkins P9107a
Suspicions and charges are brought.
But if you'd like to play,
Head for Palm Beach today
Or perhaps be a Hyannis-sport.
--- Jane D Hughes P9109
"I'm so shamed, Will, I can't verbalize it.
Rape's a serious crime,
But if given time,
I'd have had all the pols legalize it."
--- John Sandler P9108
And no bodies yet found for the hearse.
Last month it seems he
Broke his foot on a tree.
Stupidity is the real Kennedy curse.
--- Frank Petersohn
Mike thought to himself, could he?
It is no surprise
That when he dies,
He was sporting a woody.
--- Chris Tustin
Young girls he really did like.
One day while on skis,
His family said "Please,
You should have been riding a bike!"
--- Chris Tustin
With dozens of eminent dames,
But they felt secure,
Because they were sure
That a Kennedy doesn't drop names.
--- A N Wilkins P9507
"We can't quote JFK 'cause he's dead".
But what bothers them most
Is that JFK's "ghost"
Says tax cuts work -- that's what they dread!
--- Anon
When Republicans want to discuss
What Jack Kennedy said --
You can't quote OUR dead,
His remarks may be used just by us.
--- Anon
Only we Dems may abuse it.
And so we'll deceive,
And hope you'll believe
Faced with a tax cut, he'd refuse it.
--- Anon
Which would take away one of our tools.
Unless they say we may,
We can't cite JFK --
If we listened to them we'd be fools.
--- Anon
When they say "Don't use JFK clips.
Don't quote our guy -- no way!
But for us it's okay
To repeat Bush's 'Just read my lips.'"
--- Anon
This is file vwl
"Three sons and three shots hit their mark.
Three noble sons downed.
Now Ted almost drowned --
A girl and a bridge in the dark."
--- Irving Superior P9108
A bone's a fun thing to enjoy.
But, while you diddle,
Be sure not to piddle
It away, like Jack did Quemoy."
--- Martin Wellborn P9108
Or be forced to eat all the trash,
That to be at
The Aspen flat
For the Kennedy's New Years bash.
--- Chris Tustin
Was borrowed in manner atrocious.
The family style
Admitted to guile,
And sex escapades PRECOCIOUS.
--- Chris Papa
The family can't silence the dame,
And the public excitement,
Or quash the indictment.
But they can publicize the gal's name.
--- A N Wilkins P9108
Your Honor, I heard, "I'm a two-bit whore,"
So shocked to the core
I asked her once more
And this time she asked me to "Cupid" her.
--- Irving Superior P9108
No knife at my throat, nor his dick,
But into my ear,
"We'll do it right here
Or enroute to Chappaquiddick."
--- Irving Superior P9108
Her legs wrapped around--no escape.
And each time I might,
My tongue she would bite
Then quickly diminish my shape.
--- Irving Superior P9108
Smith's seeing his doctor today.
We'll countersue if
It's AIDS, clap, or syph,
Or proven she's just a cheap lay.
--- Irving Superior P9108
Implying her morals suspect.
On taking this case,
A round-office chase,
And each time my pleas she'd reject.
--- Irving Superior P9108
The guilt's either hers or is his.
She claims that it's Smith.
He claims that it's myth.
Her version reject or his hiss.
--- Irving Superior P9108
Next time affidavit she's filling.
And so she won't sue,
A notary too,
Which curtails a lot that is thrilling.
--- Irving Superior P9108
And his friend was Michael Kennedy.
Who doesn't remember
That day in December,
They both broke their nut on a tree.
--- D'Arcy
Ted grumbles. "How low have they sunk?"
Though his critics inquire
Of the Easter week flyer,
"Does he act that way when he's not drunk?"
--- A N Wilkins P9108
Taking pictures in darkest Dhaktari,
To a rhino, with wink, said,
"What do you think, Ted?
Oh, you're not Kennedy! I'm so sorry!"
--- Ystap
So they're scaring you out of your head.
About building that bridge,
May we scare you a smidge?
The driver is Senator Ted!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
There are burglars all over my place.
One dashed out of my spare room
And took off with a heirloom
When she thought I said, "Sit on my vase."
--- Martin Wellborn P9105
One night went in search of some ass.
He fortunately found it,
But fucked up and drowned it,
And said three "Hail Mary's" at mass.
--- Anon
Who drove home a most attractive lass!
Although he found her,
He messed up and drowned her,
And his chance for President did pass.
--- Anon
To pray for dear Ted Kennedy.
"Awake or asleep,
May the Lord bless and keep...
Teddy far, far away from me."
--- Arthur Deex P8311
Or maybe a cynical critic,
If my own estimation,
Astute observation
Says Ted's knell was a Chappaquidick?
--- Ann Gasser P8712
From drinking Scotch whiskey and gin.
He made a mistake,
Drove his car in a lake;
But man! could that bastard swim!
--- Anon
"The press leaves me dangling in limbo--
But my story's air tight;
For most of the night
I was down the hall banging a bimbo."
--- Arthur Deex P9106
Drinking vodka, scotch whiskey and gin,
Made a mistake,
Drove his car in the lake;
But man, that bugger could swim!
--- Laura Schooler
I suppose that's numerically true.
But she died on that day,
While Ted just swam away,
To save himself -- that is true too.
--- Al Bienstock
So claims a Boston Globe sage.
But to save his own skin,
Ted worked a presss spin,
While she drowned. What an outrage!
--- Al Bienstock
Yet for manslaughter, Ted drew a bye.
While she might have been saved,
His career's what he craved.
They can't change the facts -- but they try.
--- Al Bienstock
"Don't you have any brains in your head?
Rape is fine sport, I know: (To be sure rape is fun)
I raped young Mary Jo, (But complete what's begun)
But at least I made sure she was dead."
--- John Sandler P9108
Was given a pass for his crime.
And now the result
Of not charging that dolt:
They're drowning girls two at a time!
--- Anon
No money, no liqour. no whores.
But just take a look
At Teddys new book --
"Profiles in Soiling My Drawers"
--- Anon
Me the joy from your bod I'll derive.
If you won't stay to play,
You'll be sent on your way
And I'll get Uncle Teddy to drive."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9108
Bill Smith said at the door to his brougham,
"If you don't play ball,
I'll put in a call
For my uncle to drive you back home."
--- A N Wilkins P9108
And that's why we reelect scum a lot.
Not the least of the pack
Was when our King Jack
Changed the named of the White House to Comealot.
--- Loren C FitzHugh P9703
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