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In the cloakroom said Gingrich to Dole, To Newt, Old Bob did relate, Politicians are seldom true friends, Our Congress, apparently blind, (Republicans contract with America in 1992)
It's never too smart to make bets upon The amendments each Congressman cites Our Congress meets daily because The fellow in charge of the budget McCain's campaign finance reform There once was a clever CHLOCHARD, Politicians do work to impress; I don't think Bill's bill is worth beans, We've heard the unending cry and hue; Don't you think it's a little ironic To Congress, itself does ensconce The committee on porn hopes to stem Is Congress just yanking our chain? Our government sure is a mess An ally approaches this mess When Keaton attempted to fluster (Buster Keaton - get it?)
To Washington went Miss Latrobe, There's a staffer with opulent globes, Hear the tale of our Congressman Demming, The congressman is quite the wag, Said an unwed congresswoman named Wilde I've worked in the state loony-bin, A Congressman quite dull and dim, A lame-duck coward named Exon, (Exon is a senator from somewhere)
Because of the obvious dearth Dan Burton, he stands for the Right, I would say of Indiana's Dan Burton David Duke's reputation's replete Dick Gephardt will say anything If in Congress a Congressman rigs (must be a personal reference)
From the voters to their legislation: We send them to Congress with cheers, A Senator named Big George Custer There was a young congress man Condit, (Condit was having an affair with missing intern)
The Republican Party of Texas But the Federal Court of Appeals Congressman Blagojevich Father Flanagan giggled with joy, (Newt Gingrich and Jesse Helms - political assholes - McW)
A curious fellow named Burkes, Our Energy Plan has been planned The House and the Senate are packed They all seem to live in glass houses News from the scientific community: Said lecherous Senator Beecham, Elected to Congress, we learn The lawmakers started reviewing That wicked endeavor, JIM CROW, Remember the movie, Dumbo? Unfair discrimination, JIM CROW, (And far east, central America, and indians)
I remember being told, to look To distinguish these two, I asked The Congress itself does esconce Politicians can seek to divert, Sunk deep in corrupt fetid fen, Pork-barreling and log-rolling, Representative Scotty McGinnis sent A cyberspace junkie named John One year ago, Senator Jeffords, The Senators, eager to go When idiots by chance have been bred, Said my congressman, "Sure, I agree "The brain," said psychiatrist Knight, If our congress seems addelpated,
"That old war wound sure took its toll.
The bodily harm
That the Krauts did your arm,
Makes it useless for flogging your pole!"
--- Blackbody
"There's other ways to masturbate--
Now every night,
Instead of the right,
I just fuck the left, which is great!"
--- Blackbody
Ways and means justifying bad ends;
Both parties at fault,
A joint fiscal assault,
And self interest a rare one transcends.
--- Joel D Ash P0409
Was arrested and roundly maligned
For its vow to stick to it
Although we exchew it;
That contract that nobody signed.
--- Cyber Geezer
Base closings proposed by the Pentagon.
On the left and the right,
Your Congressman might
Have the clout to protect your white mastodon.
--- Bob Birch
Are enshrined in the famed Bill of Rights;
To preserve a free press,
Enjoy legal redress,
And to bear arms in case there are fights.
--- David Morin
We live in a land full of flaws,
And they rattle and prate
In a lengthly debate
And their blunders become our new laws.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2439
Was arrested for plotting to fudge it.
He happened to think,
Since a budget's just ink,
If you wanted to fudge it, just smudge it.
--- Anon
Is not premature or stillborn.
Now votes he can muster
To break filibuster,
If he strikes while the iron is warm.
--- Dr Limerick
Who wanted his own chauffered car.
He gave up his trade,
Was Congressman made,
And with campaign funds has gone far.
--- Chris Papa
Excess of slyness they possess;
Less talking, more doing,
Less blatant vote wooing,
Just clean up the job that's a mess.
--- Joel D Ash P0409
To circumvent the data this stuff gleans.
My hope for you is sinkin';
If you are not thinkin'
He does not want to get in your genes.
--- David A Brooks Q
The list of speakers just grew and grew.
But those gone before,
Don't include Clinton-Gore.
Bill left learning it's not "Blow-Job U".
--- David A Brooks Q
That the House is dispensing this tonic.
While baseball avoids
The cure for its 'roids, (steroids)
Flaming assholes in Congress are chronic.
--- Limerick Savant
To study in depth a response
For a nation that's ill,
But they dip in the till,
While the President beats on his schwantz.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9811
The deluge of smut and condemn
Its sale by the armful
And its reading as harmful
To all persons except, of course, them.
--- A N Wilkins P8607
Are they feeling your IRS pain?
Sure, they're gonna fix it!
Let's make 'em deep six it,
Somewhere between Hell and Bahrain!
--- Anon
The congress sucks, I confess
With all of their clout
They flounder about
And prattle about to the press.
--- Anon
In hope of finding redress.
But our congress is lazy
And their memory hazy.
Did 500 appear? No! quite less.
--- Anon
Some congressional pages who cluster
Around wisecracking wags,
By calling them fags,
They gave him a long filibuster.
--- Hugh Clary
And by Congress was asked to disrobe.
By Congress respected,
She there was subjected
To a thorough Congressional Probe.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2153
Whom a Congressman lewdly disrobes.
It's a question of lust
With political thrust,
Since in Congress, a Congressman probes.
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver
Who is mindless, it seems, like a lemming;
For he cannot say yea,
And he cannot say nay,
So he spends his life hawing and hemming.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
When the President, he did tag.
I don't know about you
But to me it rings true.
He certainly is a scumbag.
--- Puff Adder
"I'm not upset at being defiled.
My opponent's attacks
Are no match for my tax
Plans. But what shall I do with my child?"
--- Big Little Playboy Lims
The patients agree, with a grin --
If we look in D.C.,
It's plain as can be;
There are more crazies outside than in!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Took bribes with greedy ways grim,
But he kept the roads paved,
And so his skin was saved.
Local yokels would never OUST him.
--- Chris Papa
Crusaded to censor all sexin'.
The son-of-a-bitch
Should be dragged through a ditch,
While chained to the butt of a Texan.
--- Lloyd Rawley
Of intelligent life here on Earth,
Congressional nuts
Make deep budget cuts
In projects that have any worth.
--- Kevin Kirby
But often confused day with the night.
With Congressional immunity,
He speaks with impunity,
And thus sullies Justice with blight.
--- Amador
That he is the one who is hurtin'.
The poor man does need
To learn how to read
And to parse English syntax, that's certain.
--- JRW
With rumors of feats indiscrete.
But they've got the wrong man--
He's not 'Head Of The Klan'.
It was 'Wizard Under The Sheet.'
--- Arthur Deex P9112a
In his quest for the Whitehouse brass ring;
Put him out to pasture,
The better, the faster,
And find a new Speaker next spring.
--- Dr Limerick
This is file vvl
A system, wherein, just like pigs,
At the trough his help feeds
And he skims the proceeds,
Then it seems that his own grave he Diggs.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2771
"Desist and just govern the nation.
It's not your commission
To elicit contrition.
You're agenda is dip defecation!"
--- Conch a
Then hope our pet project appears.
But you can't please them all
In that great learned hall.
So we'll try once again in two years.
--- Gifford Wherry
Was into a long filibuster,
During which he drank tea,
And at length had to pee,
And that put an end to his bluster.
--- Warrick Elrod
Whose girlfriend became quite despondent.
She said, "Divorce your wife!"
He said, "Not on your life!"
And now bail, he may soon have to bond it.
--- Anon
Socked the Dems in their solar plexus;
Redistricting clever
Means the Dems will never
Have a place where the voters elect us.
--- Dr Limerick 11-15-01
Responding to Democrats' squeals,
Said, "We hereby do stop
This attempt by the GOP
To take over the whole commonweal!"
--- Dr Limerick 11-15-01
Is getting exceedingly rich.
From his lawyer days, he's
Got contingency fees --
So it's all, every dime, quite legit.
--- Dr Limerick 02-27-02
As he chose unctions they would employ.
"It's not all that messy,
Newt, just check with Jesse.
And there's no such thing as a bad boy."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9504
Who watched to see how Congress works,
Saw ill-fitting parts
And their fits and their starts,
Concluding we're governed by jerks.
--- Cyber Geezer
To work on supply and demand.
The sheiks supply crude,
At the pump we get screwed,
While Congressmen hold out their hand.
--- Martin Wellborn P0508
With horny old men chasing crack.
While some like the tresses
Of ladies in dresses,
A few like the hole in the back.
--- Terry Lynn
And they're roaring right now just like mouses.
They're all throwing rocks
While pulling their cocks,
'Cause the antics of Clinton arouses.
--- Terry Lynn
Rising temperatures in Washington, D.C.
It's not global warming,
But hot gases forming
From congressional fights on TV.
--- Lynn Mostafa
"When I've need for girls, I beseech 'em;
Should they not see the light
Or ignore my sad plight,
There's always the threat to impeach 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 573
Of privilege when we adjourn.
This helps us enjoy
Each girl and each boy,
Seducing each intern in turn.
--- Nick
The laws that related to screwing.
They have lifted the lid
From what blackets had hid;
It's now legal to do what you're doing.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2768a
Was practiced, as far as I know,
With an unjust hand
Across our great land,
Not just in the South down below.
--- Chris Papa
Tolerance was its theme, you know.
But the crows who sang
With a southern twang,
Gave a boost to the cause of JIM CROW.
--- Norm
Was applied to those we called negro,
But scales from our eyes
Fell off. We're more wise,
Now we've added groups from Mexico.
--- Daniel Ford
At politicians, either liars or crooks
Since no other kind,
Can come to mind,
Only these types, must write our books.
--- Anon
A question of present and past
"A crook were you ever?
The answer "No, never."
And I'd know he's a liar, that fast.
--- Anon
To study in depth a response
For a nation that's ill,
But they dip in the till
While the President beats on his schwantz.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Major effort to mask piles of dirt;
Expert use of thick smoke,
Mirrors worn like a cloak,
Rule of law that they often pervert.
--- Joel D Ash P0409
Are bunch that are called "Congressmen".
Pork-barrel, kick-backs,
PAC money in sacks,
All found in iniquity's den.
--- John Miller
Beat voters of Nation polling.
Those old QUID PRO QUOS
Make us pay through the nose,
While lawmakers, selves are extolling.
--- Larry
A proposal he thinks will help innocent
Interns of D.C.
Preserve their chastity;
Helpful, if e'er a virgin is sent.
--- Dr Limerick
Developed the ultimate con:
"If I get them to pay
To take my survey,
I can run for the seat of Exon."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
His GOP ties neatly severed;
This act of courage
Did much to discourage
Bush's rifle the Treasury effort.
--- Dr Limerick 05-24-02
To Medicare drugs, "just said no;"
But don't get hysteric,
They did help generics
More quickly to get in the flow.
--- Dr Limerick
They need to be cared for and fed.
Though asylums are there,
It costs money for care,
So we send them to Congress instead.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2465
In free speech, constitutionally.
But I still exercise
Faith in free enterprise,
So my speeches demand a large fee."
--- William N Nesbit P9703
"Is the seat of orgasmic delight.
Which is why politicians
Have nocturnal emissions
As their nonsense they stand to recite."
--- Al Chaplin P9410
Passing laws that are logic attenuated.
Know that ability
Is based on senility,
With committee heads SUPERANNUATED.
--- J'Carlin
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