I'm a hardworking airhead from Braintree;
Got an interesting job 'cause I'm brain-free.
As a job, it did suck
But I came off with luck,
For my dresses were found to be stainfree.
--- Snaggletooth

Amanda from Dagenham West
Wears nothing at all 'neath her vest;
But now she's gone bought
Herself dresses so short,
One can see that she's well underdressed
--- Peter Wilkins

A pretty young lady named Tess
Wore a fancy but flimsy silk dress.
Showed her form when 'twas breezy,
And it sure comes off easy,
With some wine and a kiss and caress.
--- Bob Birch P0207

A pretty young lady named Tess
Got herself in one hell of a mess.
So I helped out this gal,
'Cause I'm that kind of pal,
And I helped her right out of her dress.
--- Bob Birch P0207

There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who thought it a terrible sin;
To cover her mini
With such a long pinny,
She bought a new midi in Lynn.
--- Mrs B Sutton

There was an old woman of Wymondham
Whose dresses were torn, so she pymondham;
She walked into town
With her hems hanging down,
And the pins scratched her legs and half skymondham.
--- Kate Taylor

My T-shirt was washed yesterday
(Or maybe last week ...) Anyway,
I'm told that my dress
Though always a mess,
Isn't wrinkled as I am, they say.
--- Anon

Picking fruit in a dress seems too hard?
Well, you might try for a start
To completely undress
(To relieve your distress).
I'll stand guard if I don't get too hard.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Young Jenny set out to impress
With a really spectacular dress;
It was split up the front
To show acres of cunt,
And plunged down to her navel no less.
--- Peter Wilkins

Her nipples were visible too,
(There were cut-outs for poking them through)
And the back wasn't there;
Why she bothered to wear
It, I haven't the foggiest clue.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young girl of Bahari,
Who was chased on a night that was starry.
She was chased, so she raced,
Tore her gown in her haste,
And cried, "I really must go -- sew sari!"
--- R P M Lehmann

There was a young lady named Green
Whose dresses could hardly be seen,
For the threads were so few
That what you could do
Was easily look in between.
--- William K Alsop P8809

There was a young lady named Ness
Who bought a most outlandish dress.
She wore it to the ball,
But as she reached the hall,
Some straps snapped: she was in distress!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

For instance a girl in distress
With an unwilling zip in her dress:
My reaction is quick
At helping that chick;
What ensues usually is a mess!
--- Anon

There was an old lady of Dillow:
Her skirts had a tendency to billow.
On day in the street,
Lifted off her feet
By the wind, and dropped in a willow.
--- Nithene

A hopeful young woman from Poole
Made herself a new dress from some wool.
When viewed from the back,
She looked like a sack;
From the front she looked like "three bags full".
--- Mary Danby Armada 1

But her strategy somehow misfired,
When they saw how she was attired.
Her tactics were hurt
By a very short skirt,
And the tight sweater they all admired.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A hillbilly maiden named Kress
Remarked to her mother, "I guess
From the way all the yokels
Adjust their bifocals,
It's time that you bought me a dress."
--- Lims Unlimited

My god! Do you call that a dress?
The material couldn't be less!
What there is, is so thin
And transparent; it's sin-
Ful and causing me trouser distress.
--- Peter Wilkins

A voluptuous vamp from Van Nuys
Thinks dresses impress all the guys;
When she's buying a gown,
She'll give a faint frown,
"I'll have to try this on for sighs."
--- Norm Storer P9207

I'll tell you of Angela Pitt,
Who wears a wool dress, badly knit.
The more that she travels,
The more it unravels.
And now, with the boys, she's a hit.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Tut! Tut!" said the flapper of Delaware.
"Stop stewing about what the hell I wear
Or I'll start in to dress
So they won't have to guess
To know what I next to my elbow wear."
--- The Glimerick Book P9002

A Hindu and Bat had a row
As to who owned some clothing somehow.
A continuing rift
About who owned the gift;
We will never know whose sari now.
--- Tom Patton P0800

Two dollies aboard a cruise ship,
Men found mighty easy to trip.
But their seual excesses
So wrinkled their dresses,
That the next time they're planning to strip.
--- G0757

No tail feathers uropygial
Or other uproar coccygeal
Need be further proffered,
For all we have offered
Does seem as aligned syzygial.
--- Daniel Ford

This see-through dress that is the rage,
Is not good for me at my age.
When tempted to feel,
To see if they're real,
My wife says, "Get back in your cage!"
--- Barrie Eksteen

My niece is a saucy young devil,
Tormenting her poor boyfriend Neville.
She's a proper young flirt
With the hem of her skirt
Only two inches below "C" level!
--- Percy Longprong

There was a naughty girl called Flo
Who wanted her knickers to show.
So she wore a skirt
As short as a shirt,
And kept on bending over low.
--- Anon

So you say that Dave, the old SCUT,
Finds his tiny heaven in butt?
Perhaps the follies,
How he gets his jollies,
Will lead him to unravel King Tut.
--- Sheryl A Lemma

On a warm south sea island did Bert
Watch the gals dance to drums, in grass skirts.
He tried to reach out
And was acting the lout,
At the sight of bare boobies, so pert!
--- Azul

A cop grabbed our Bert by the collar,
And at him he started to holler,
In tones very loud:
"That, man, ain't allowed,
Unless first you pay her a dollar."
--- Anon

His willie at its full alert,
Was a tiny pint-sized little squirt.
When the native girls sassed
That his pole was half-mast,
They could actually see it invert.
--- Anon

Have mercy, my dear, on poor Bert;
Long times without romance will hurt.
When mammary treasures
Sway 'round, promise pleasures;
He'll dream 'bout what's under her skirt!
--- Anon

This is file vnm

With those arms stretching out, he's not groping;
Supplication's more like it; he's hoping
For some South Seas romance
'Neath grass skirts, not for pants!
For poor Bert, for a long time's been moping!
--- Anon

All the great gals who get up and dance,
Show themselves when the gents they entrance;
Whether strip-tease or hula,
They'll make mucho moola,
By seeming to promise romance!
--- Anon

A demure little lady named Bridget,
At the ball had two reasons to fidget.
Her gown was hoop-skirted,
And she'd seen a perverted
And pogo stick carrying midget.
--- Don Moore P0207

A lovely young lady named Beattie
Wore a hula skirt home from Tahiti.
Customs had to remove it
Before they'd approve it,
Which caused quite a rash of graffiti.
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703

Girls' styles cause a strain on mens' eyes,
As skirts now are well up the thighs.
It may cause a thrill
As the mini cake frill;
Like hot air it continues to rise.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

A young Chinese model, May Wong,
Wore a leather skirt which was all wrong.
I am afraid it revealed
That which should stay concealed.
Critics said, "It's no skirt, it's a thong!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy

When the girl went to shul in hot pants,
The rabbis locked shocked and askance.
The elders, in turn,
This new fashion did spurn;
The students thought she's worth a glance.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

A girl who tests trucks for GM
Wears skirts with a very short hem.
When under the hood,
You get quite a good
Look at her juicy young quim.
--- Anon

I do believe men should wear skirts.
Avoid all those left and right hurts.
There's plenty of room
For any size plume,
That rises up because you're flirts!
--- Marlene

Her miniskirt -- when Mrs. Kimmet
Told her husband she thought she might trim it,
What did the guy say?
He replied to her, "Hey,
Remember the thigh is the limit."
--- A N Wilkins P8508

The skirts are okay that are mini,
Except on a woman who's skinny,
Or on one who is plump
With a sizeable rump,
Or on chieftains of Western New Guinea.
--- Limber Limericks

Ladies now wear their skirts longer;
I usually control that old conger.
But mini clad teasers,
Bent over the freezers,
Have too much effect on my donger.
--- Anon

The skirt thing was butt of good jokes,
And though 'twas revealed as a hoax,
Is that reason to
Withold them from view?
Not share them with some other folks?
--- Fran Morris

What I keep in mind, as I coax,
Is the laughter such humor evokes.
So the joke was on us,
So why make a fuss,
When such great wit such laughter evokes.
--- Fran Morris

In Japan there's a new touch of class,
That's seen on some sweet demure lass,
That's painted on tush,
(In front there's a bush,)
It's arty trompe l'oeil "piece of ass."
--- Chris Papa

The fashion for men there, perhaps,
Is similar art in their laps.
And the shocking view
Of pants that look through,
On manly transparent jock straps.
--- Chris Papa

Oh my goodness, I wouldn't wear 'em!
Not even if I'm part of a harem!
The idea is half-baked,
To want to look naked!
Sometimes fashion for women just scare 'em.
--- Barb

Sometimes designers get scheming,
Their fashions will set women dreaming!
Let me tell you, honey,
They won't get my money!
It gives "cover your ass" a new meaning.
--- Barb

I hate to be just a buttinsky,
But like some strange chords from Stravinsky,
That hoax phoney is
(Looks better on Natasha Kinsky.
--- Daniel Ford

Touched by your gallant attempt
Regarding Dan's choice to exempt
From sensitive eyes,
Those clever replies,
Lest risking the readers' contempt.
--- Fran Morris

The shapely young lady from Crete
Wore a very short skirt on the street.
When she wiggled her rear,
The boys would all cheer
And when she bent down, what a treat!
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0306

Young Debbie makes wonderful cheese
At the dairy and has wonderful knees.
But I can't fail to see
That twixt hemline and knee,
There's an eighteen inch gap; what a tease!
--- Peter Wilkins

Peter, you've been looking peaky;
Chasing those sheep's really freaky.
But now you can flirt
With young Debbie's short skirt;
The view from the rear is quite cheeky.
--- Tony Burrell

Ethel's dress, which was skimpy and short,
Didn't come down as far as it ought.
'Twixt her skirt and her stocking,
The distance was shocking,
And drove her poor boyfriends distraught.
--- P9005

Half an inch, half an inch shorter,
Skirts the same for the mother and daughter.
When the wind blows
Each one of them shows,
Half an inch more than they oughter.
--- P9005

There was a young girl from near Merton,
Who had such a very short skirt on,
That the curate said: "Dear,
You look very queer,
Have you really a skirt or a shirt on?"
--- Myler Magrath

How I love girls in short pleated skirts!
(Excluding young Catholic school flirts);
When their legs sread out wide,
Up and down my hands slide,
And they squeal even though nothin' hurts!
--- Allen Wolverton

Why leave out those young Catholic flirts,
If their boobies can fill out their shirts.
While their tight little buns,
Like bustles on nuns,
Make a hand-hold for Protestant squirts?
--- John Miller

I admit, sir, to doing a few
On the grass in the damp and the dew.
But the best in a dress
Left a mess, I confess,
Of my goo in full view on a pew.
--- John Miller

The story above isn't true.
No Catholic girl has to rue
A Protestant spree
With little old me,
Since I'm really an Orthodox Jew.
--- John Miller

The truth of my faith, you can tell
By the way I research, where I dwell,
The direction of Mecca
While stroking my pecka
And leading you limmers to Hell.
--- John Miller

If the Catholic school girl's under age,
Best beware of the Irish cop's rage;
If he finds her plaid thong,
He will shrink-wrap your dong;
And with Bubba you'll share a small cage.
--- Allen Wolverton

Such a pity to fret about age,
When a girl's reached that simmering stage.
But no matter how bold
She is, I'm too old
In such vigorous sports to engage.
--- John Miller

I followed the girl with blonde hair,
She walked like she hadn't a care.
Her skirt swung side to side;
Her contours couldn't hide
That she felt she had something to share!
--- Arthur Pattaffy