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Old Bill wanted to give Monica a try A chubby young Washington chick Though Monica made Bill her friend, It's publicity that's Monica's steal Lewinsky gives blow jobs just dandy, One thing a girl knows without doubt, The steel mill found her so appealing, Now the Whitehouse is reeling; Bill Clinton from far Arkansas It's true -- Bill is quite a joker, That Bill Clinton's a slippery eel Miss Lewinsky, come check my baloney! An intern for Bill at the White House There once was a woman named Monica Says Monica, that cute little tease Though Monika is a bit dumb, She was just old enough to drink wine, The first thing Bill said without doubt Monica went over to see, "Miss Lewinsky, let's revise", said Doc Routh -- Presidential oral acts came to pass Young Monica, tempting and plump, "I'm afraid they will put me in jail. There once was a President Bill Monica is Willy's bane, Says Monica to him: "Just between us There was a young girl from Hornatio, An intern, not yet twenty-six, She told Bawbwa Wawters her story -- For her book went on sale the next day, Her performance truly was stellar, Have you seen the new HUCKSTER this week? I wonder just how it will go; For the rest of her life they will wait, To the public he would not confess, And "love mouth" did unzip her lip There once was a President, Billy, His intern, a Jew named Lewinsky, Pearly juice on her face dribbled slimy, Months later the story unfolded, Bet that's why she squealed, did the girl; But when she saw Bill's tiny winky, She's away now, on her book tour -- She's on to things bigger and better; Yes, Monica's over here signing She asked me to buy her trash book, The girl said "You're out of luck. The moral is: take a good look, Monica said "Daddy mine, "Daughter, you silly fool! "But daddy, he has such a cock, 'Twas Monica's sweet siren song Then lured by the siren song singer, Bill Clinton sat through depositions; John Lewinski, it's widely reported, Where will this strange saga end? I suspect it is all a facade; Pope Arch, may I say it's a thrill My mind is growing quite dimski; A fair maiden from California As storms of this scandal did gather, It's too bad it got on the dress, dear, I know they're not appropriate lines, So please dry your face, mustn't kiss; I'm Clinton, the Nation's First Cheat; All the chickens are loose from their coop D'Amato says "Come and engage us."
And hastily unzipped his fly.
He whitewashed her tonsil
And then gave her council;
"It's OK to tell a white lie."
--- Jim Weaver
Was nibbling the President's dick.
After a single great spasm,
He reached orgasm,
And she knew why that Willie was Slick.
--- Anon
Sad tragedy struck in the end.
But that other day?
I've heard it this way:
She wiped off her chin with a grin.
--- H Welchel
And poor old Bill can't appeal.
Look him in the eye,
"Did you ask her to lie?"
"No Sir, I asked her to kneel!"
--- Anon
Treating Bill like a stick of hard candy.
Kaczynski's on trial
But Monica can smile
For Bill's DNA comes in handy.
--- Lynn Mostafa
When a lady's cavorting about,
She carries a tissue,
In case there's an issue,
The dry cleaner cannot get out.
--- MrMalo
Monica found her fate sealing;
Defying precedent
Named her vice president,
And put her in charge of annealing.
--- Tom Patton P0111
From impeachment there is no appealing.
He could lose his job
If when polishing his knob,
He reached down and copped him a feeling.
--- MrMalo
Had a back that was terribly sore.
He said with a frown,
Monica, get on down,
While I stand with my back to the door.
--- Anon
Not an inhaler, but a toker --
But 'twas his latest sin
That at last did him in --
M., and the way he would poke 'er!
--- Anon
And his evasion skills are unreal.
When Ken asked, "Did you try
To make Monica lie?",
Bill said "No, I just asked her to kneel."
--- Anon
And make like Kaczinsky and blow me!
Just nibble the tip
And don't make a drip;
Or I'll tell all the people you're phoney!
--- Rob Robertson
Evidently knew how to "go south".
That's all fine and good,
If only she would
Now learn how to keep a closed mouth.
--- Wildman P9803
Who blew Bill Clinton on Hannukah.
When questioned in court,
Her answer was short:
"I played it like a harmonica."
--- Lims For Year - 01
"On the job I sure try hard to please,
And it pays little money,
And my mouth tastes so funny,
And besides that, it's ruining my knees!"
--- Jim Schaefer P9803
She's not irreversibly numb.
Her method of sex,
Conception does hex.
Her sextory's better than some.
--- Elois
But the Prez had her play sixty-nine.
He used her for jizz
And sometimes to whiz,
But he never did enter her gyne.
--- Coops
About Monica and goings on 'down south';
Unwittingly audacious
In a manner loquacious,
"Ah, now the tart opens her mouth!"
--- The Friar T9801
And several differences found she.
For the English State head
Did not take her to bed,
And she bowed down on only one knee.
--- Res Ipsa a
There's his member and your cavity down south --
There's your mouth and this pill --
Repeat, if you will --
I PUT JUST THE PILL IN MY MOUTH!"
--- FCA P9803
With Lewinsky, a chunky young lass.
But Bill didn't lie,
And he'll tell you why:
It ain't sex if you don't poke her ass!
--- Frank Petersohn
Wanted Billy to pat her fat rump.
She pulled off her thong
And fondled his dong.
Poor Hillary! Bitch Goddess chump!
--- Anon
She promised she wouldn't inhale.
I said she could kiss it;
That's not too illicit.
I kept it away from her tail."
--- M David Tilson
From an intern, he got a big thrill.
She chewed on his bone,
But he wasn't alone:
For she'd done half of Capitol Hill!
--- Anon
With stuff that can drive him insane,
The 'poison' instilled,
By young lady skilled,
Who insufflates now and again. (breathes upon)
--- Chris Papa
Is it possible someone has seen us?"
But the Pres says "Why no!
On your knees - get set - go!"
And slips her the Presidential penis.
--- Anon
Half the age of the Prez by ratio.
As an intern unpaid,
She'd hoped to get laid,
But the Prez only wanted fellatio.
--- Jared Henry
Found she could do wonders with dicks.
Though she had no spouse,
She found the White House
A place to perform all her tricks.
--- Scandalous Limerix
Said she's in love, not just whore-y!
But she told all her friends,
Now we see how it ends --
But here comes her moment of glory...
--- Anon
What a coincidence? No way!
Though the interview was free,
She got such publicity --
Everyone wanted to hear what she'd say!!!
--- Anon
When she talked about that Clinton feller --
Who wishes they'd never met,
But he cannot forget,
'Cause her book will be a best-seller!
--- Anon
For Jenny Craig food she does speak!
She looks thin and sweet!
So tailored and neat,
A career she's determined to seek!
--- Maggie
She lives in a fish bowl...you know.
She can't run away.
Her fame's here to stay,
But the media is really her foe.
--- Maggie
This is file vhm
Just sitting right outside her gate!
They'll report each pound
That goes up or down!
Poor Monica! Her weight is her fate!
--- Maggie
But clue that he'd been in sex mess,
UNBEKNOWNST to Bill,
Was his careless spill
Had left spot on "love mouth's" blue dress.
--- Chris Papa
To nemesis, by name of Tripp.
Who told the press
Of Bill's excess,
And caused Ken Starr with joy to flip.
--- Elois
Who thought it was perfectly silly,
The Law should obstruct
What he wished to be sucked,
In his office near Capitol Hilly.
--- Douglas Anderson
Agreed and played tunes on his skins-key;
A knock on the door
Nearly gagged the young whore,
Alarmed by the brazen butt-in-sky.
--- Douglas Anderson
On her dress in a mess, it was grimy,
She gargled that day
In a strange sort of way,
"It's been fun, but your fiver won't buy me!"
--- Douglas Anderson
Dear wifey and daughter both scolded,
But the country agreed
That the Pres had his need,
So get on with your lives, you've been tolded!
--- Douglas Anderson
If his pecker were bigger, she'd twirl
The thing in her mouth,
Then make it go south,
And say, "Bill, give my pussy a whirl!"
--- Cheryl
She grimaced at the tiny dinky.
"I'll just have a lick;
I'm no stupid chick;
With book rights, I'll buy me a minky!"
--- Cheryl
A strange thing it seems, for sure --
If it brought her such pain,
You'd think she'd refrain
From publicity, but oh no!, not her!
--- Anon
Bet Billy will not soon forget 'er --
She so over-sexed,
Hard telling who's next --
Shall we take bets on which one will get 'er?
--- Anon
Her book, and she's wining and dining.
She's at Harrods, no less,
In her pretty blue dress,
With that stain on it still brightly shining.
--- Anon
So I unzipped and said "Take a look.
If you do to me,
What you did to Bill C.
Then maybe I might." She just shook...
--- Anon
I'm fussy about who I will suck.
Were you heir to the throne,
Then I might chew your bone,
But from you I will not make a buck."
--- Anon
Next time that you're baiting your hook.
Make sure that's a worm
In your hand there, that squirms,
Or your pecker you'll lose in the brook.
--- Anon
I had a very good time,
Licking and sucking
But never no fucking,
So my reputation's just fine!"
--- Arden
It's time that you followed this rule:
Spread wide on the bed
Your legs for his head,
So he can partake of your jewel."
--- Arden
So solid and strong like a rock.
It fills my mouth
Within and without;
So, please now get over your shock!"
--- Arden
That led old Slick Will to go wrong.
She batted her eyes
And wiggled her thighs,
And gave him a peek at her thong!
--- Anon
This, in turn, then caused him to linger.
The rest is no mystery,
What happened is history;
It led to the wagging of finger!
--- Anon
And was asked 'bout erectile conditions.
"Do you have a strange cleft?
Does it bend to the left?
Does it work best in certain positions?"
--- KJ a
On tapes where her voice was recorded,
More calm than nervous,
Slipped by Secret Service
To engage in matters most sordid.
--- KJ
Will we learn if Bill's wank has a bend?
Or do we even care,
Just what he does there,
Or with whom, where or why, how or when?
--- KJ
Bill gives us a wink and a nod.
Whoever he's doing,
We all get a screwing
From his politics, if not his rod!
--- KJ
To hear you discussing my skill.
In "My Life" I'm reading
Of Clinton's wild breeding,
I wonder if I'd fit the Bill?
--- Sister Christina
My rhymings becoming quite flimski.
I can't lim the tale
Of that glorius frail,
Named Sister Christina Lewinsky.
--- Archie
Made a president say "Can I bone ya?"
But she was too clever;
She sucked on his lever,
Until big Bill said "Ha-La-Lu-Ya!"
--- Anon
The Democrats asked "what's a matter?
This is no crime
It's not sex, and that's fine!"
(As long as it's our man their after.)
--- Anon
Now make sure of the evidence, clear,
And wash nice and clean,
So somebody mean.
Can't trace DNA back to here.
--- Chris Papa
But I'm worried about censure and fines,
And impeachment stuff,
The Senate plays tough,
If it gets some factual signs.
--- Chris Papa
I can't touch your bod, my dear miss.
All juries I'll vex,
'Cause this isn't sex.
Though it don't get no better than this!
--- Chris Papa
I can diddle the man on the street
Into truly believing
I'm only deceiving
'Bout girls I've invited to eat.
--- John Miller
And the White House has flies in its soup.
Manure and flies
And huge bald-faced lies
Are designed to make all of us dupes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Lack of memory's truly outrageous.
Al's not very amused;
They are all dazed and confused.
Alzheimer's, we find, is contagious.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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