The Liars list astronomical,
One dude with truth comical.
I dare to surmise
Just where the truth lies,
Below the belt anatomical.
--- Marsha Magee

It is not 'cause he lies, that you're blue
In the face, or because of his screw-
You hate bill -- now I know!
Because he lies better than you!
--- John Miller

It's a record of crime he'll bequeath;
From Bill's foot, we'll soon crawl from beneath.
Between truth and the lie,
Is a big gap, Oh my!
As the one between Letterman's teeth.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Clinton said "I know how hard you've tried,
But you do not have proof that we've lied.
My record's not blighted.
We've not been indicted."
(But neither were Bonnie and Clyde)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I'm old now (though long in the tooth)
But remember one time in my youth
When both were quite young,
By some slip of the tongue,
The Clintons both spouted the truth!
--- Anon

Teaching values, on parents rely;
Just be truthful and don't falsify.
With parents deceptive
Forgive the invective,
Who'll teach Chelsea that she shouldn't lie.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Many years he's hidden what he did,
The illegitimate son he hid.
It's that kind of shame
That gave him the name --
President Clinton the cum back kid.
--- Tom Patton

Clinton's campaign is coming undone.
He has problems he cannot outrun.
The deeds he produced
Have come home to roost.
He'll go down wrapped in webs that he spun.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The President has pulled quite a feat;
A redefinition of sex -- that's neat!
Due to the hair spitting,
There's legal hair-splitting.
No wonder he's the Commander in Cheat.
--- David A Brooks Q

The camel's back just got its last straw.
There are two things that just rub me raw.
The source of my cries
Are all those damned lies,
And Clintons contempt for the law.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

If it's true what the pollsters all say,
Bill Clinton will carry the day.
With our cash and his lies,
He'll have purchased the prize,
And his cronies will have the last bray.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I'm tired of old Billy Boy's bleating,
As well as his lying and cheating.
This shameless, moral cretin
Won't quit till he's beaten;
He's a guy who deserves a defeating.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When Bill said he didn't inhale,
Who knew that that lie would turn pale.
Now he strongly asserts
That he didn't insert;
What next big lie will our Chief hail?
--- Gearhart

The speeches, debates and the patter,
Add up to a whole bunch of clatter.
When our minds are quite numb
We'll be sufficiently dumb
So to us the truth simply won't matter.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill feels pain as he tries to inspire us,
And he finds hiring liars desirous.
Those who come to him clean
Soon turn nasty and mean,
As they all catch the ebola virus.

(ebola virus is bad)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When Billy first heard of the draft,
He toked him a weed and he laughed.
"I'll tell them I'm dead --
Or like mama said,
I'll escape in a Whitewater raft!"
--- Marsha Magee

The people who know me the best
Understand why it's Bill I detest.
I simply despise
A man who tells lies
While he secretly feathers his nest.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill's good at the old game of shells,
And the many smooth stories he tells;
Things legal, just barely,
Forthcoming, quite rarely,
And full of the fishiest smells.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

White Chief's trouble breed like jack rabbit.
Forked tongue seem to be Clinton habit.
Forget beads and trinkets!
When buffalo stink, it
Smell better than Wild Bill or Babbit.
--- Marsha Magee

We once had a Prez called Slick Willie;
As Chief Exec he was a dilly.
He raised his right hand,
And swore on the stand
That Monica'd not gilded his lily.
--- William K Alsop Jr

As we know, the Pres didn't screw;
He's said so, so it must be true.
And if I could tell lies
As good as that guy's,
I'd have Gates's fortune times two!
--- John Miller

It sounds more like clamor and din
Of those voters who got taken in;
That Bill Clinton's so good
Of a liar, he could...
Oh my God, so you voted for him!?!
--- MIke

Bill Clinton views truth with contempt;
To hide it, he makes no attempt.
The assortment of lies
From the mouth of this guy
Shows that somehow he thinks he's exempt.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The odds of impeachment are long,
With the public opinion so strong.
But when Bill tells you lies
Looking straight in your eyes,
Two thirds of the public is wrong.
--- John Miller

Trial's over, as brought by Ken Starr.
The vote was close, but no cigar.
His office, black and tarry,
The Pres says he's sorry.
Why of course, Mr Clinton, you are.
--- Frank Petersohn

So we have a sex predator Prez;
We can't believe anything he says.
He strays far and wide
For sex on the side;
After all the guys wife is a lez.
--- Anon

At dodging the truth, Bill's a pro.
It's a trick that he learned long ago.
When the questions get rough,
He just sticks to his bluff
And hopes we won't see his nose grow.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill leaves himself open wide,
With women, and deals on the side.
And you can just bet,
We ain't seen nothing yet --
We'll all see how much he has lied.
--- Arden

I really regret it a lot,
But I thought I would never get caught!
Yet I do not regret
Having said "I forget..."
I distinctly recall I forgot!
--- George Masche

There see, another word new,
Describing things Willy will do.
A truth teller, NOT,
Just look what we've got,
Bad President law must pursue.
--- Chris Papa

Choose a slogan for Bill and his mate,
That's befitting this great head of state.
Because they're so sleazy,
This one's real easy:
If you enter, leave truth at the gate!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Miss Lewinsky, with lawyer in tow,
To shield Bill, will accept every blow.
Did either or both
Tell lies under oath?
That's the thing that we all want to know.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

To lyin', cheatin', and thievin';
'Cause liars are so worth believin'.
Cheatin's applauded
And thieves have been lauded --
We elect them as presidents even.
--- MrMalo

This is file vgm

As with Hoffa, a crook of my youth,
His supporters use methods uncouth,
To attack his attackers
And back up his backers,
And not give a damn for the truth.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Some Sundays, Clintons do church attend;
It looks like marriage on the mend.
But the man is a cheat,
Liking bitches in heat.
Do you think all of this, is pretend?
--- Tom Simon

Obfuscation by Willy's been mastered;
Jean Lewis they thought they had plastered.
Oh my, what she wrote
Over these words you gloat?
Of course, he is one lying bastard.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

If your speaking in "Clintonese",
Words twist and turn in the breeze.
You never say die,
If caught in a lie,
Just piss off the old Taiwanese!
--- Marsha Magee TP9807

My conscience in working uncouth
Has taken ten years off my youth.
With a thought that's so awful,
It should be unlawful:
What if Bill's telling the truth?
--- John Miller

Explanations truthless, MENDACIOUS,
Remain false, though somewhat more gracious
Than baldly lying
Or even trying
To hide the spots of acts fellatious.
--- Daniel Ford

Though President's answers fallacious,
On matters that are quite salacious,
Suggest he's a liar,
The tag that is higher,
Just say he's merely MENDACIOUS.
--- Chris Papa

A closer look at the checks verify
Some appear to be signed by the same guy.
And suspicions were stirred
By the same misspelled word
And suggest something's definitely awry.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It ain't the economy stupid!
It ain't about Willie and Cupid!
It's about the truth shading
And all of us wading, in
BS so deep you can't scoop it!
--- Anon

Bill must testify; he can't escape.
They will film him while up at the Cape.
Reputation precedes,
So a title it needs;
It is "Sex, Lies, and Videotape!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Many husbands, intent upon cheatin'
Have pleaded some "Top-Secret meetin'".
But few have the temerity
To claim "National Security"
As an alibi, that one can't be beaten!
--- Anon

I'm sorry that sex is the reason
He's in trouble, I wish it were treason.
It isn't the sexing
Anyone should find vexing,
But lying is never in season.
--- John Miller

Though it sometimes is hard to perplex,
On our brainwaves Bill has put a hex.
Please help me understand,
Crushing smokes in his hand,
He fights lying and drug use and sex.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I wish that I had a buck
For every lie from that fuck.
I'd have more dough
Than Ross Perot,
But I've never had that much luck.
--- Gearhart

This man from Hope is into pandering;
Using the 'hot line' for phone sex bantering.
And will Bill tell lies
Right into your eyes,
When declaring he's not into philandering.
--- MrMalo

Even I'd lie in his place,
But I'd never keep up with his pace.
I'd wiggle and squirm
As I'd swear or affirm,
And I never could keep a straight face.
--- John Miller

When the Clinton's are caught in a goof,
They ignore it by staying aloof.
Then comes the pouting,
And finally the shouting,
"Oh Yeah! You don't have any proof!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A promise Bill makes just for fun,
Is changed before his speech is done.
Maybe we heard it wrong,
'Cause it lasts just as long
As a Big Mac aboard Air Force One.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An attorney's most priviliged client,
On perjury charges defiant,
Contritely with pride,
Said, although he'd not lied,
On his word, you should not be reliant.
--- Prof M-G TP9901

A few turns with interns is a sort
Of innocent animal sport;
So underneath he may lie
Side or top, he may try,
But it's kinky to lie to the Court.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At lying, Bill Clinton's quite deft;
Of humor, he's completely bereft.
If he undergoes surgery
To excise his purjury,
There just won't be anything left.
--- Popsicle TP9807

William J, you're a hell of a guy,
Dodging scandals so slickly and sly.
As each one unfolds
You move up in the polls,
And your numbers improve with each lie.
--- Anon

Some of Bill's friends were appalled
To hear him deny he got balled.
It's better than cancers
To get out the answers,
Or off to the jail he'll get hauled.
--- M David Tilson

The Right compares Clinton to Nero.
His sex life, they say, counts for zero.
The crime, they decide,
Is that the man lied.
(And Oliver North is their hero?)
--- Anon

You may call it a donkey, alas,
But defense of the crooks cannot pass.
To respond to your spin,
Here is where you begin;
Is that your party's symbol's an ass.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Now Hillarys mad as a hornet!
'Cause Bill was screwing a strumpet.
But Bill had his day;
He made them all pay;
His perjury charges, he'd trump it.
--- Anon

Clouds of doom block the White House sunshine,
Casting shadows on those who've been lyin'.
Our two heads of state
May soon get the gate.
If they had any class, they'd resign.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Factually challenged" is a kind way of saying
You can't trust a Democrat's braying.
Telling lies with each breath,
Scaring old folks to death;
It's their style of "political haying".
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Why, sure the Republicans feed
Off of lies, that's just natural greed.
But Bill makes so many
They aren't worth a penny;
Empty calories, poor fare indeed!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The President having seen action
Thought he'd had full satisfaction
Then the news of the day
And an urge made him say,
"I want to retract my retraction."
--- Anon

It's amazing that Clinton still tries
To pull the wool over your eyes.
When we finally awoke,
And got rid of the smoke,
We could see clearly through all the lies.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

On abroad or a broad, there's no doubt
He's wasted executive clout
For each sordid affair
For bombs bursting in air;
LIE-a-BILL it's yet to run out.
--- Esther Koch

Would Billy Boy grope while he'd schvanze her?
Will history forever esconce her
As the queen of baloney
Or true testimony?
More after a word from our sponsor!
--- MrMalo