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The nuclear plant employs Dwight, By mistake (in his lunch) Freddy Mears An electron was spinning around, The nuclear expert, no doubt, Rimmey visited Trinity Site Many people that day were uneasy; But of course that task wasn't the end; A mother from Seascale called Pipper (Seascale - British nuclear reprocessing plant)
Schroedinger said that a cat (Scientific American contest 2000)
If you care about animal rights, There's big news of Schroedinger's cat; His cat both dead and alive, DeBroglie, caught quite unawares, We all think it's called entanglement, I'm asking you, please try to delve this, A physicist looks with this eye, The universe came to a junction (Scientific American contest 2000)
Said the cat in the box, "This is fun. PETA was out in full force, (PETA - ?? ethical treatment of animals)
We hardly know who we should blame (Nonrelativistic quark model - Sci Amer Contest 2000)
A quantum mechanic named Twitty, Erwin's tabby cried out to be fed. (Erwin Schroedinger)
Another great Dane has made free If Schroedinger's cat leaps are quantum, The cats suffer agonized fates -- Copenhagen's view may be correct, A rather small student called Brown, In the hall where the wall was concave, There was a strange fellow called Brecht, Her voice is so high it's absurd. A scientist living at Staines, The speed of sound, oft described as MACH, These days, the ubiquitous decibel (db.) Jane's sexual dysfunction was chronic; The decibel measures how loud Via the bag of Scots piper McKay, The enthalpy-entropy chart, There's more than the musical part In physics, they teach you in schools, He had a self-confidant will, A very smart girl name of Sandy, A lovely student was in pain; "Thermo is beautiful," cried he; A student from old MIT There once was a Carter named Craig. There once was an old man named Gibbs; A clueless poor student was Sue, Thermodynamics is hard, I foretold; The clock in my system appears Well bugger me silly, I say An Aussie called Sanders once said, So I only walked on the shore And thinking of Omah again, So when I am gone from this shore For I have had books, and some bread, That grumpy and lumpy sad sea When the church bell at six tolled its dirge, The end of the world is now due. Our fast summer time makes one dour, Observe that muons, created, The effects of dilation of time, My twin is much younger than I; "The order of nature," quoth he, There once was a pilot in flight Without sounding entirely absurd, Time's finished before it's begun -- "Repentance? For me it's a fake,
And he thinks that his job is all right;
In the days he works hard
In the nuclear yard,
Then he glows in the dark every night.
--- Cap'n Bean P0506
Ate radium and died with his fears.
But the point about Fred,
Is now that he's dead,
His half-life--sixteen hundred years!
--- Keith Johnson P9204
And moving quite close to the ground.
Exotic its rapture
At the thought of K-capture,
Conceiving a brand new compound.
--- Robert Resnick
Was blessed with an extra long spout.
When at work or at sports,
He never wears shorts,
'Cause he's always on guard 'gainst fall-out.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
Which made him recall with delight:
"Sneaking in was a task
But 'twas worth it to bask
In hard radiation all night."
--- John Miller
That the world would go "Bang" made them queasy.
But they set the thing off
So the scoffers could scoff,
And beating the Japs became easy.
--- John Miller
You humans just swapped foe and friend.
Finding plausible ploys
To build deadlier toys,
And the government more ways to spend.
--- John Miller
Found some nuclear waste in a kipper.
When she told them she'd found it,
They said, "Eat around it,
And keep it away from the nipper."
--- Michael Palin
Is alive or it's dead, and that's that.
But Heisenberg said,
"It's alive AND it's dead,
And its state can be seen as a stat."
--- Caleb Howard
Consider the horrible plights,
Of Schroedinger's cat,
And others like that,
For many long days and long nights.
--- Kay R Devicci
Lots of fuss is made about that.
The cat had a kitten,
And the world is smitten;
We've all got to learn to say SCAT!
--- Carl A Benz
'Til Schrodinger's guests would arrive.
Then he'd open the box,
And toss in some lox,
And the cat would both lay there and thrive.
--- Anon
Observed a mixed state of affairs:
'Twas Schroedinger's cat
Who quietly sat,
While running away down the stairs.
--- Bruce Elliot
But what we think is not what he meant.
The proper translation
Of Schroedinger's equation,
Is more like what's called entwinement.
--- Michael Reck
I'm asking you, please, do not shelve this,
Re Schroedinger's cat
Don't you recognize that
It's quite like the status of Elvis????
--- Crosby Lewy
Knowing seeing could make the cat die.
Puts the poor cat through hell,
Just to get his Nobel,
As her kittens sob, "Mommy, good bye!"
--- Kay R Devicci
When Erwin collapsed his wave function.
He lifted the lid
And found that it hid
A pussy in need of Last Unction.
--- Edward Fagen
Inside all chances are one.
So there could be a kitten
With whom I am smitten.
Please don't lift the lid till I'm done."
--- Michael Scanlan
But not for a dog or a horse.
At Schrodinger's place
They pleaded their case
For the sake of his cat, of course.
--- Devlin Gualtieri PR9703
For this Schrodinger's kitty-cat game.
If gives the appearence
Of quantum coherence
And NRQM a bad name.
--- David J Hall
Is trying out "Schroedinger's Kitty."
The poor felines await,
To pry open the crate,
Then exalt in great joy -- or great pity.
--- Jonathan P Dowling
In a box he confined her instead.
Now she sits there and waits
In her superposed states,
To find out if she's living or dead.
--- Roger Tobin
With a question of Be or Not Be.
Now might Schrodinger's puss
In descending by schuss,
Leave one track on each side of a tree?
--- Peter Price PR9703
Observe we an off-or-an-on tom?
To leave's to arrive:
He's both dead and alive
In two places at once, if you want 'em.
--- Prof M-G
And superposition of states;
Not alive or quite dead,
Something ghoulish instead,
Till a measurement ends their long waits.
--- Kay R Devicci
In entangling observe and effect.
Still it seems to me that
Only Schroedinger's cat
Knows which side of a door to select.
--- Peter Price
Was asked why he danced up and down.
He said, "Look you fools,
It's the air molecules;
They constantly knock me around."
--- Physics For You P9704
I blew a ripe fart like a knave.
The sound was reflected;
The stink undetected,
And everyone blamed it on Dave.
--- John Miller
Whose penis was seldom erect.
When his wife heard him humming
She knew he was coming,
On account of the Doppler effect.
--- G2575A
It's so shrill that you can't hear a word.
When she has something to say,
She starts running away,
So the pitch drops enough to be heard.
--- Dave Coble
Is searching with infinite pains,
For a new type of sound,
Which he hopes, when it's found,
Will travel much faster that planes.
--- R J P Hewison
Is source of stress for much of the flock.
It's time to relax,
Lie some on our backs
And absorb the strains of J S Bach.
--- Daniel Ford
Reaches corners barely accessible; (accb.)
They say that it wrecks
Many aspects of sex,
With results that are quite inexpressible. (inexprb.)
--- A P Cox
This is file vhl
The doctor prescribed a strong tonic.
Next guy in her womb
Was dispatched with a "BOOM!"
For her coming had gone supersonic.
--- John Miller
A sound is, and kids now are proud
To blow out the ears
Of themselves and their peers,
Raising dead from the ground if allowed.
--- John Miller
His friends played a joke very sly.
Through a slit in the skin
They piped helium in,
So he played a full octave too high.
--- Bob Turvey
Is where engineers go to start,
Their workings occult,
To find the result
Of what energy's stored in a fart.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To the energy stored in a fart.
The toot of a mouse
Could bring down the house,
If Einstein's allotted his part.
--- John Miller
The Heat Law of Entropy rules:
No matter how smart,
We're doomed from the start,
To croak as the Universe cools.
--- John Miller
And of Gibbs I have had all my fill.
He so glibly asserts
That you do no work,
If your d-volume is equal to nil.
--- Kate Jenkins
At thermo was really quite handy.
Request a phase plot
And more often than not,
Gibbs Phase Rule her modus operandi.
--- Tim Hong
Her last result went down the drain.
She could not predict
What she was to restrict.
The Gibbs Phase Rule strikes again!
--- Raymundo Arroyave
"Look at Gibb's Phase Rule and see!
Our problems 'twill answer;
It can even cure cancer;
Just rememnber to add two and not three."
--- Harold Hsiung
Was forced to return her degree,
Because she forgot
To construct a phase plot
Using D + F = 2 + C.
--- Craig Carter
"Learn the Gibbs Phase Rule!", he would beg.
D + F, it is true,
Equals C + 2;
About that I'm not pulling your leg.
--- Heather Fireman
All that he said were not fibs.
He wrote down a law
Which everyone saw.
The Phase Rule's now painted on cribs.
--- Michelle Seitz
The things that made sense were quite few.
But she was no fool
'Cause she knew Gibbs Phase Rule:
D plus f equals C plus two.
--- Diana Wu
A challenge but then I was bold.
All of Gibbs was exposed
And I heard all proposed.
Confusion is what I behold.
--- Hao Hu
To be 24 hours in arrears;
Correct it I must,
In a second and trust,
I won't alter the months or the years.
--- Peter Wilkins
In a purely rhetorical way,
I haven't a clue
Why my clock went askew
By some 24 hours and a day.
--- Peter Wilkins
"Things are spinning around in my head.
For 'down under' the ground,
Time's switched around,
So mine should go backward instead!"
--- Anon
For miles, and a little bit more.
But when I came back,
I had lost my track,
The waves all had wiped out my spoor!
--- Archie
(He's all that is keeping me sane)
We once pass this way,
A very short day,
And then we're erased once again.
--- Archie
I'll ask this one little thing more,
(In red wine, I think)
For me to have a drink,
Rejoice, for this life is not poor!
--- Archie
And you there beneath boughs over head.
For life is to live,
Take what it will give
And leave it while you're fully fed.
--- Archie
Must answer for saddening me.
But life can't be smooth
In one single groove;
No lows would mean highs couldn't be!
--- Archie
Easter chicks were all meant to emerge.
But there wasn't a peep;
They were all fast asleep;
Changing clocks had killed all waking urge!
--- Prof M-G
Time's stopped; I don't know what to do.
The hour's come at last,
But the door's stayed shut fast...
My cuckoo clock's caught avian flu.
--- Tiddy Ogg
There's less time for sleep or a shower.
So I wonder whose craving
Introduced Daylight Saving...
It is said it was K Adenour.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
The dilation of time is related
To Einstein's insistence
Of shrunken-down distance
In the frame where decays are belated.
--- David Morin
Are magical, strange, and sublime.
In your frame, this verse,
Which you see is not terse,
Can be read in the same amount of time it takes someone else
--- David Morin
He's traveled a lot, that is why.
If I had the brain,
I'd be glad to explain,
But Einstein I'm not, so why try.
--- Edward H Green
"Is wondrously brought home to me,
When I think that my clock
With each tick and each tock
Goes two pi the root L over C.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Who daringly dashed out of sight.
He hit passing gear,
And his front met his rear.
Now he travels more quickly than light!
--- Penny Kjelgaard
From "computer speak" I have observed
Time is "digest" or "real."
I protest and still feel
That time's relative. That's what I've heard.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0303
Seems it's hard to get anything done!
Barely 60 secs in it,
God bless the last minute!
I'm glad we get more than just one.
--- Doug Harris P0608
And the Curse I can no longer take.
So I'll go back in time
To a place that's sublime,
And deal with a certain big snake.
--- John Miller
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