Would Clinton submit to castration?
If he thought it an island vacation?
The bastard's so dumb,
He'd gladly go numb,
For a free trip to the new Cuban Nation.
--- Deep Goat TP9807

If instead it curves hard to the left,
Of my chuckle I'll not be bereft.
For if crooked as Bill,
It will corkscrew until
The starboard has just as much heft.
--- John Miller

Bill's pecker, she says, is a sight;
If the truth ever does come to light,
I will sure get a laugh
At the crook in his staff,
If it leans very far to the right.
--- John Miller

There once was a fellow named Willy,
Whose dingus was really a dilly.
Vas deferential duply,
Meatuses quadruply --
And the bend makes it really look silly.
--- Arthur Deex P9807

"It's a problem," Bill warned him, "don't mock,
But I can't seem to get it up, Doc."
"Well sir, let me be frank,
Like a writer draws blank,
It's a case of philanderer's block!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

As a patron of Hollywood's arts,
I've borne many arrows and darts.
I did not think it cute,
Based on Paula Jones' suit,
The movie "Bill Clinton's Private Parts".
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In a twist of events so bizarre,
I tripped on the way to my car
Add to Presidents I'm like;
JFK, Truman, Ike,
The names Gerald Ford, FDR.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In Hobie Sound down by the sea,
I fell down and fucked up my knee.
The headlines are bunk,
I swear I was not drunk;
I just slipped when I stepped out to pee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill Clinton is sixty today!
And Castro is eighty and grey.
And not to be spurned,
Adolf Hitler has turned
One hundred and seven by May.
--- John Miller

To help his arteries unclog,
Bill takes an early evening jog,
And then Hillary.
A one...a two...a three
And swears he sleeps just like a log.
--- Irving Superior P9301

There's been more than Flowers and Jones
Who've checked out the President's bones:
The Doc's microscope
Removed any hope
That he could grow larger gemstones.
--- Anon

He's quite a fellow, Bill Clinton!
Has eyes for the ladies - a glintin'.
When he damaged his "peter"
They ordered (by the metre)
Large wooden lengths to be splintin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

As her time of child-rearing now fades,
Rodham's on one of her new crusades.
"Bill, I don't want to fight;
You must sleep here tonight,
But first you must be tested for AIDS.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Said an intern to President Clinton,
I have given you up for Lenten.
Mardi Gras is over --
But all's in the clover,
Besides, you are twisted and benten.
--- Marsha Magee

It seems that the Big Man from Hope
Is nearing the end if his rope.
He won two elections
But untimely erections,
Are making him look like a dope.
--- Anon

America's throne stands debased;
Good knights fail to see rogues disgraced.
And as our morals crumble
Hardly a soul grumbles
To a $ound economy i$ forgivene$$ traced.
--- Sumerman

Raise some money, Bill's handlers advise.
Your fortunes may then see a rise.
Charging one hundred grand,
They can come shake your hand,
And then chow down on Big Macs and fries.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Campaign money does not grow on trees.
(Except trees that grow overseas.)
It should be no surprise
Corruption clouded some eyes
When Asian cash floated on the breeze.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

AG Reno and FBI Freeh
Apologized to Fred T's committee.
Evidence is now plain,
Bill's fundraising campaign
Links Asian cash to the DNC.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Clinton sees clouds of doom overhead,
Linked to bribes and corruption widespread.
No matter how the folks vote,
There is not antidote.
Clinton knows there are bad times ahead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill Clinton REGALES with tales frank,
And admits to depths which he sank.
In modern style,
He makes a big pile,
And laughs all the way to the bank.
--- Phil Kinay

Pauline, a bright Thai business gal
Knows her way 'round the D.C. locale.
And when her schedule is free,
She joins Clinton for Tea,
And brings money to boost his morale.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Rent out the White House? Why not?
Auction Abe's bedroom? So what?
The donations he'll gain
Will finance Bill's campaign,
And it proves Democrats can be bought.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Clintons have spent all their dough;
They paid the tax man what they owe.
But then Clinton said
As he jumped from Gen's bed,
I think we should call Ross Perot.
--- Al Willis

Bill Clinton's quick mind is now revvin';
He's signed a book deal made in heaven.
As always...beguiling,
Slick Willy is smiling
'Cause there'll be no chapter eleven.

(chapter eleven - half-assed bankruptcy in U.S.)
--- Observer

There's no doubt Bill's a genial host.
"Coffee talk" keeps his old pals engrossed.
He puts on a good show
To part them from their dough.
The price is steep for a pot of French roast.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When he had the mega-wealth itch,
And pardoned old fugitive Rich.
Slick Willy said, "Grease us,
So I can be CROESUS
And shed little wife, you know which."
--- Chris Papa

Enterprising, our Commander-in-Chief
Has a business for fixing your beefs.
Lincoln Room costs a zillion,
Hot coffee a million,
And a dollar to get in his briefs.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Indonesian Connection is fact.
But a new camaign scandal has cracked:
Some claim Clinton's chummy
With Russian Mafia money.
Foreign bribes prove we're being attacked.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When the press shook Bill's "legal defense" tree,
Who fell out but Bill's friend, Charlie Trie,
And envelopes full of money,
That both looked and smelled funny,
Accompanied by forture cookies and tea.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Dole campaign knew things were wrong;
That the Fat-Lady'd soon sing her song.
"Let's try Democrat greed;
I know just what we need;
Why can't we just all get a Huang?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Regardless of what some people think,
U.S. finances stand right on the brink.
Waste and greed are widespread,
All the hogs are well-fed,
Leaving books that all glow with red ink.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a Prez name of Bill,
With a mandate that he just must fill.
Without thought or reason,
It's the left that he's pleasin',
With his hand in the company till.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

This is file vdm

The President says he'd not be so rash
As to exchange favors for cash.
Believe it you may,
But to that I must say,
You must have your head up your ass.
--- Puff Adder

To help meet DNC's money crunch,
Temple monks held a fund-raiser lunch.
V.P. Gore was the guest
And you all know the rest.
Money laundering is more than a hunch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Of the Arkansas crimes, his plate's full;
Starr's punches no longer he'll pull.
From the public there's wows,
While Ms. Rodham used cows;
Willy claims this is nothing but bull.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An eavesdropper by the Rose Garden,
Heard "Half-brother Bill, you're a hard 'un!"
Then: "No, brother Roger,
I'm just a poor dodger,
And six more for free I can't pardon!"
--- Peter Wilkins

The FEC wants a good look
At the Democrat's money bag book.
The Dems say with a smile,
"It's not ready to file.
And it won't be, till we hire a new cook."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Campaign donors drank coffee in groups,
While the President shook hands 'round the loop.
Most folks now agree,
They didn't drink "free",
As Bill skillfully fleeced wealthy dupes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

These donations to Bill's defense fund
Eventually had to be shunned.
Then the funds disappeared
Before the mystery was cleared.
But I doubt the news leaves many stunned.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Donations from P. Kanchanalak
The DNC coughed up and gave back.
But when the press made a call,
Pauline had "no idea at all"
Of the source of the tainted greenbacks.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Tainted cash is one source of Bill's woes,
As exposure of Lippogate grows.
Though his hand he'll extend
To his rich Asian friends,
From now on, for shapshots, Bill won't pose.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Dame Justice, blind and out of luck,
By Willy with new problem stuck;
He used her good name
For his dirty game.
Now "pardons for pay" runs AMOK.
--- Chris Papa

Bill Clinton's fund-raising machine
Accepted some checks that weren't clean.
Many Asian donations
Have caused consternation.
Stay tuned for the "Perils of Pauline".
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Right-wingers may look askance
At Bill Clinton's big book advance.
Let the free market speak --
Demands at its peak,
Thanks to scandals the Right-wing financed.
--- Dr Limerick

They seem to have found new admissions
Which should make all the morning editions.
Of "dysfunctional" fame,
Dr. Fick joins the game;
He has proof that Bill sold state commissions.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There's one thing for Bill I can say:
He likes to give money away.
As long as the cash
Doesn't come from his stash!
So as usual the taxpayers pay.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Clinton's White House turns steadily grayer,
As corruption's exposed in thick layers.
Rules are easy to bend;
Just a means to an end.
And who pays? Just one guess! The taxpayers!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

On the subject of bribes, I am split:
Should politicians accept them or quit?
If we do not object
To those big foreign checks,
They might balance our trade deficit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

White House visits by Huang day and night
Are explained in a favorable light.
They insist this is true;
Their John Huangs equal "two"!
But we all know two Huangs don't make a right!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It's apparent we're all being screwed,
With the power Bill's slyly accrued.
He can use proclamation
To sell out our nation;
Don't take your eyes off of this dude!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Permanent Campaigns are so long,
Repeating the same dance and song.
I can muscle big bucks,
Then tell the media "Aw shucks,"
In politics it's good to be well-HUANG.
--- Anon

The China to D.C. cash trail
Is being exposed in detail.
Unless I'm misled,
The money is read.
I wonder just what is for sale?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Democrats must now sing a new song
Because of a fellow named Huang.
Foreign coins in their purse
Have brought with them a curse,
And they can't figure out what went wrong.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In the Arkansas Guard, there's a way;
Bill gave stars with so little delay.
Your promotion came quick,
Just one question from Slick,
"When will you have the twenty-five k?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Clinton says he made no guarantees
To his White House guests from overseas.
But if they'll share their bread,
He'll make room in his bed,
And throw in the White House door keys.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The FBI still wants to know
If Bill received illegal dough.
The White Water scheme's
Ripping out at the seams,
And Bill doesn't know how to sew.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

His chances Bill hopes to redeem;
He sells anything, so it does seem.
Trading Whitewater land,
Selling Arabs some sand,
And to Eskimos, lots of ice cream.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill Clinton, a man of his times,
Would fuck women or men or street mimes.
Like a sex craven glutton,
With the executive button,
He could fuck us a thousand times.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bedeviled, old President Slick
On his feet he is known to be quick.
Republicans are in awe
He is without a flaw,
Except for his Achilles Dick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Bill differs from those gone before,
But figuring his legacy's no chore.
Most have a library
Built in their memory.
For Clinton, it's an adult bookstore.
--- Frank Petersohn

The question to ask about Bill
Isn't whether he won't or he will;
It isn't a riddle
Why he likes to diddle;
He is seeking another cheap thrill.
--- Shelby Forrest

In the Arkansas Governor's mansion,
Some say there's still room for expansion.
Yet few floors remain
Without some kind of stain,
From that fellow who can't keep his pants on.
--- Anon

The decision by our Supreme Court
Has jerked Clinton's necktie up short.
Before, when he lusted,
Bill never got busted.
He just though he was being a sport.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Because I could", they said was wrong,
When one is caught with zipper down.
"A peccadillo", he should have said,
A sucking mouth can blow your head,
And plant a shitball in your crown.

There once was a Prexy named Bill
Who liked to cop a cheap feel.
It depends what you mean
If you call it "obscene";
To him it was just a cheap thrill.
--- Anon

They've invented some gum that's nutritious,
But side effects make you malicious.
It will cause you to lie
And have open your fly.
After Bill, it is called Bubba-Licious.
--- Jim Weaver Collection