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Would Clinton submit to castration? If instead it curves hard to the left, Bill's pecker, she says, is a sight; There once was a fellow named Willy, "It's a problem," Bill warned him, "don't mock, As a patron of Hollywood's arts, In a twist of events so bizarre, In Hobie Sound down by the sea, Bill Clinton is sixty today! To help his arteries unclog, There's been more than Flowers and Jones He's quite a fellow, Bill Clinton! As her time of child-rearing now fades, Said an intern to President Clinton, It seems that the Big Man from Hope America's throne stands debased; Raise some money, Bill's handlers advise. Campaign money does not grow on trees. AG Reno and FBI Freeh Clinton sees clouds of doom overhead, Bill Clinton REGALES with tales frank, Pauline, a bright Thai business gal Rent out the White House? Why not? The Clintons have spent all their dough; Bill Clinton's quick mind is now revvin'; (chapter eleven - half-assed bankruptcy in U.S.)
There's no doubt Bill's a genial host. When he had the mega-wealth itch, Enterprising, our Commander-in-Chief The Indonesian Connection is fact. When the press shook Bill's "legal defense" tree, The Dole campaign knew things were wrong; Regardless of what some people think, There once was a Prez name of Bill, The President says he'd not be so rash To help meet DNC's money crunch, Of the Arkansas crimes, his plate's full; An eavesdropper by the Rose Garden, The FEC wants a good look Campaign donors drank coffee in groups, These donations to Bill's defense fund Donations from P. Kanchanalak Tainted cash is one source of Bill's woes, Dame Justice, blind and out of luck, Bill Clinton's fund-raising machine Right-wingers may look askance They seem to have found new admissions There's one thing for Bill I can say: Clinton's White House turns steadily grayer, On the subject of bribes, I am split: White House visits by Huang day and night It's apparent we're all being screwed, Permanent Campaigns are so long, The China to D.C. cash trail Democrats must now sing a new song In the Arkansas Guard, there's a way; Clinton says he made no guarantees The FBI still wants to know His chances Bill hopes to redeem; Bill Clinton, a man of his times, Bedeviled, old President Slick Bill differs from those gone before, The question to ask about Bill In the Arkansas Governor's mansion, The decision by our Supreme Court "Because I could", they said was wrong, There once was a Prexy named Bill They've invented some gum that's nutritious,
If he thought it an island vacation?
The bastard's so dumb,
He'd gladly go numb,
For a free trip to the new Cuban Nation.
--- Deep Goat TP9807
Of my chuckle I'll not be bereft.
For if crooked as Bill,
It will corkscrew until
The starboard has just as much heft.
--- John Miller
If the truth ever does come to light,
I will sure get a laugh
At the crook in his staff,
If it leans very far to the right.
--- John Miller
Whose dingus was really a dilly.
Vas deferential duply,
Meatuses quadruply --
And the bend makes it really look silly.
--- Arthur Deex P9807
But I can't seem to get it up, Doc."
"Well sir, let me be frank,
Like a writer draws blank,
It's a case of philanderer's block!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I've borne many arrows and darts.
I did not think it cute,
Based on Paula Jones' suit,
The movie "Bill Clinton's Private Parts".
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I tripped on the way to my car
Add to Presidents I'm like;
JFK, Truman, Ike,
The names Gerald Ford, FDR.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I fell down and fucked up my knee.
The headlines are bunk,
I swear I was not drunk;
I just slipped when I stepped out to pee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And Castro is eighty and grey.
And not to be spurned,
Adolf Hitler has turned
One hundred and seven by May.
--- John Miller
Bill takes an early evening jog,
And then Hillary.
A one...a two...a three
And swears he sleeps just like a log.
--- Irving Superior P9301
Who've checked out the President's bones:
The Doc's microscope
Removed any hope
That he could grow larger gemstones.
--- Anon
Has eyes for the ladies - a glintin'.
When he damaged his "peter"
They ordered (by the metre)
Large wooden lengths to be splintin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Rodham's on one of her new crusades.
"Bill, I don't want to fight;
You must sleep here tonight,
But first you must be tested for AIDS.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I have given you up for Lenten.
Mardi Gras is over --
But all's in the clover,
Besides, you are twisted and benten.
--- Marsha Magee
Is nearing the end if his rope.
He won two elections
But untimely erections,
Are making him look like a dope.
--- Anon
Good knights fail to see rogues disgraced.
And as our morals crumble
Hardly a soul grumbles
To a $ound economy i$ forgivene$$ traced.
--- Sumerman
Your fortunes may then see a rise.
Charging one hundred grand,
They can come shake your hand,
And then chow down on Big Macs and fries.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
(Except trees that grow overseas.)
It should be no surprise
Corruption clouded some eyes
When Asian cash floated on the breeze.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Apologized to Fred T's committee.
Evidence is now plain,
Bill's fundraising campaign
Links Asian cash to the DNC.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Linked to bribes and corruption widespread.
No matter how the folks vote,
There is not antidote.
Clinton knows there are bad times ahead.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And admits to depths which he sank.
In modern style,
He makes a big pile,
And laughs all the way to the bank.
--- Phil Kinay
Knows her way 'round the D.C. locale.
And when her schedule is free,
She joins Clinton for Tea,
And brings money to boost his morale.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Auction Abe's bedroom? So what?
The donations he'll gain
Will finance Bill's campaign,
And it proves Democrats can be bought.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They paid the tax man what they owe.
But then Clinton said
As he jumped from Gen's bed,
I think we should call Ross Perot.
--- Al Willis
He's signed a book deal made in heaven.
As always...beguiling,
Slick Willy is smiling
'Cause there'll be no chapter eleven.
--- Observer
"Coffee talk" keeps his old pals engrossed.
He puts on a good show
To part them from their dough.
The price is steep for a pot of French roast.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And pardoned old fugitive Rich.
Slick Willy said, "Grease us,
So I can be CROESUS
And shed little wife, you know which."
--- Chris Papa
Has a business for fixing your beefs.
Lincoln Room costs a zillion,
Hot coffee a million,
And a dollar to get in his briefs.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But a new camaign scandal has cracked:
Some claim Clinton's chummy
With Russian Mafia money.
Foreign bribes prove we're being attacked.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who fell out but Bill's friend, Charlie Trie,
And envelopes full of money,
That both looked and smelled funny,
Accompanied by forture cookies and tea.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That the Fat-Lady'd soon sing her song.
"Let's try Democrat greed;
I know just what we need;
Why can't we just all get a Huang?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
U.S. finances stand right on the brink.
Waste and greed are widespread,
All the hogs are well-fed,
Leaving books that all glow with red ink.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With a mandate that he just must fill.
Without thought or reason,
It's the left that he's pleasin',
With his hand in the company till.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file vdm
As to exchange favors for cash.
Believe it you may,
But to that I must say,
You must have your head up your ass.
--- Puff Adder
Temple monks held a fund-raiser lunch.
V.P. Gore was the guest
And you all know the rest.
Money laundering is more than a hunch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Starr's punches no longer he'll pull.
From the public there's wows,
While Ms. Rodham used cows;
Willy claims this is nothing but bull.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Heard "Half-brother Bill, you're a hard 'un!"
Then: "No, brother Roger,
I'm just a poor dodger,
And six more for free I can't pardon!"
--- Peter Wilkins
At the Democrat's money bag book.
The Dems say with a smile,
"It's not ready to file.
And it won't be, till we hire a new cook."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
While the President shook hands 'round the loop.
Most folks now agree,
They didn't drink "free",
As Bill skillfully fleeced wealthy dupes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Eventually had to be shunned.
Then the funds disappeared
Before the mystery was cleared.
But I doubt the news leaves many stunned.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The DNC coughed up and gave back.
But when the press made a call,
Pauline had "no idea at all"
Of the source of the tainted greenbacks.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As exposure of Lippogate grows.
Though his hand he'll extend
To his rich Asian friends,
From now on, for shapshots, Bill won't pose.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
By Willy with new problem stuck;
He used her good name
For his dirty game.
Now "pardons for pay" runs AMOK.
--- Chris Papa
Accepted some checks that weren't clean.
Many Asian donations
Have caused consternation.
Stay tuned for the "Perils of Pauline".
--- Jim Weaver Collection
At Bill Clinton's big book advance.
Let the free market speak --
Demands at its peak,
Thanks to scandals the Right-wing financed.
--- Dr Limerick
Which should make all the morning editions.
Of "dysfunctional" fame,
Dr. Fick joins the game;
He has proof that Bill sold state commissions.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He likes to give money away.
As long as the cash
Doesn't come from his stash!
So as usual the taxpayers pay.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As corruption's exposed in thick layers.
Rules are easy to bend;
Just a means to an end.
And who pays? Just one guess! The taxpayers!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Should politicians accept them or quit?
If we do not object
To those big foreign checks,
They might balance our trade deficit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Are explained in a favorable light.
They insist this is true;
Their John Huangs equal "two"!
But we all know two Huangs don't make a right!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With the power Bill's slyly accrued.
He can use proclamation
To sell out our nation;
Don't take your eyes off of this dude!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Repeating the same dance and song.
I can muscle big bucks,
Then tell the media "Aw shucks,"
In politics it's good to be well-HUANG.
--- Anon
Is being exposed in detail.
Unless I'm misled,
The money is read.
I wonder just what is for sale?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Because of a fellow named Huang.
Foreign coins in their purse
Have brought with them a curse,
And they can't figure out what went wrong.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Bill gave stars with so little delay.
Your promotion came quick,
Just one question from Slick,
"When will you have the twenty-five k?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To his White House guests from overseas.
But if they'll share their bread,
He'll make room in his bed,
And throw in the White House door keys.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
If Bill received illegal dough.
The White Water scheme's
Ripping out at the seams,
And Bill doesn't know how to sew.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He sells anything, so it does seem.
Trading Whitewater land,
Selling Arabs some sand,
And to Eskimos, lots of ice cream.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Would fuck women or men or street mimes.
Like a sex craven glutton,
With the executive button,
He could fuck us a thousand times.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On his feet he is known to be quick.
Republicans are in awe
He is without a flaw,
Except for his Achilles Dick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But figuring his legacy's no chore.
Most have a library
Built in their memory.
For Clinton, it's an adult bookstore.
--- Frank Petersohn
Isn't whether he won't or he will;
It isn't a riddle
Why he likes to diddle;
He is seeking another cheap thrill.
--- Shelby Forrest
Some say there's still room for expansion.
Yet few floors remain
Without some kind of stain,
From that fellow who can't keep his pants on.
--- Anon
Has jerked Clinton's necktie up short.
Before, when he lusted,
Bill never got busted.
He just though he was being a sport.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When one is caught with zipper down.
"A peccadillo", he should have said,
A sucking mouth can blow your head,
And plant a shitball in your crown.
Who liked to cop a cheap feel.
It depends what you mean
If you call it "obscene";
To him it was just a cheap thrill.
--- Anon
But side effects make you malicious.
It will cause you to lie
And have open your fly.
After Bill, it is called Bubba-Licious.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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