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Pamela Anderson Lee There once was a young man named Powells, A fresh-picked turd from your ass, In his back alley shack in Mattoon, There once was a man from Minot, The sparrow and horse have begun A perverted young lady called Grace The reason he's giving no smiles, She told me I was pretty sweet, There once was a girl named Britt, There was an old fellow of Brest, There was a young man had the art A coprophagic person named Cat, That eater of shit known as Cat, Cried a scatophile husband named Sandys Young Rose wed the lad they called Rastus, A sparrow ate a meal dropped on hay, There once was a man from Vancouver, There once was a lady of York There once was a lady called Tia Among all the posters in here, Our linkage to rhyme we must never She scrambled it up with her eggs A perverted young fellow, a Brit, There once was a man, wan and pallid, There once was a strange guy named Lou The Virgin told Joseph, "Don't tarry. There is nothing that induces salivation There was a young lady called Wooding For breakfast, Bill loved her black puddin' He'd slice that blutwurst so neat, Young Amy of "Bob's Fenestration" There was a young man from Gowels I picked up this girl at the club; The Smiths, an unsavory bunch, There once was a girl from Dubuque There once was a lady from Arden, A fellatrix steno named Beeman, With Sue (his assistant) Jack makes There once was an employee named Ross, The oral technique of Miss Wren The cheese he preferred wasn't bleu; There was a sweet miss named Chubb, There was a young lady called White, Please, go wipe off your chin; There was a young fellow of Norwich, Said a happy young man of Fort Drum: (gives the words 'gum rubber' new meaning - McW)
Said Grizelda, a poor hungry slob, There once was a girl from the Heights, There was a young girl we'll call Ms. M. When John fucked a girl from Purdue, There was a cook called Freeman; (see Good Ship Venus)
A cocksucker skilled, known as Sue, The diet of foremost persuasion: My friend, who's a number one fresser, (what is a 'fresser'? - McW)
Young Heather McGregor was nice; A canny Scots lass named McFargle, A stork is a bird, so they say, There once was a U.S. Marine, I once had a friend named Bill Matlock, For fear she might have a child, Nelly, A singer and swinger was Joyce -- That rotten old person named Biggem, A chef at the Waldorf named Pease A bitchy young girl of Valhallad There once was a woman from Perm, There was an old man of Corfu,
Said, "Would you like a glass of my pee?"
He replied, "Not right now dear...
I'm as hungry as a bear!
Go shit on that plate for me!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who sucked shit from a dead man bowels.
When he couldn't get this,
He'd drink prostitute's piss,
And eat scrapings from sanitary towels.
--- Anon
Roll it up and drop in a glass.
For pure refreshment bliss,
Add two squirts of piss;
I called it a Shit Sassafras.
--- Helveticus TP9806
Rumor has it an ignorant goon
Gathers feces from snakes
For the icing on cakes,
Which he spreads on quite thin with a spoon.
--- G1503
Who drank up a barrel of snot.
Though flavored with sugar,
It turned into a booger,
And a slimy green feces he got.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A friendship that's second to none.
This is proof, I submit,
That if one can eat shit,
Then two can live cheaply as one.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1190
Took a naive young man to her place.
Ignoring his howls,
She sucked out his bowels,
And spat it all back in his face.
--- Anon
Despite all her feminine wiles,
Is due to the pain.
He forgot to explain
His arse was all blocked up with piles.
--- Anon
Yet misses your miniscule meat.
No wonder. Her bung
Now leaks spunky dung --
The kind that she tells me you eat.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On the ground beneath me she'd sit.
And when I had gas,
She'd suck on my ass,
Till I filled her mouth with my shit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who sucked off his wife with great zest.
Despite her great yowls,
He sucked out her bowels,
And spat then all over her chest.
--- Norman Douglas L0387
Of making a capital tart
With a handful of shit,
Some snot and some spit,
And he'd flavor the whole with a fart.
--- L0766
Who was said to be strong into scat,
She would sit down below you
And would even blow you,
In the outhouse next door to the frat.
--- Peter Ackerman
Bartered jobs with the boys, tit for tat.
A blow for a rim
And a fist up the quim;
She became Sigma Chi's welcome mat.
--- Randog
Whose wife made him excrement candies,
"Why these are not gumdrops;
They're genuine bumdrops,
With solid turd centers -- jim dandies!"
--- Armand E Singer 122
So that she might lick his asspastus.
Though her tongue's full of hairs,
She most proudly declares,
"Few turd-eaters have ever surpassed us!"
--- Patrick Reilly
And before he was finished he heard a neigh.
He located the source
An Appaloosa horse --
Two can live cheap as one in this way.
--- Tom Patton
Who could inhale dirt like a Hoover.
He started to spit
When he inhaled some shit,
And said, "An unhealthy maneuver."
--- J Bott
Who tried to eat shit with a fork.
Her son cried "You goon!
Eat shit with a spoon!
It's pork that you eat with a fork!"
--- Rob Doran
Who suffered from bad diarrhea.
And what she liked most
Was to shit on some toast
Which she'd eat with a glass of warm beer.
--- Donald McGill
Punctuations differ. Severe?
It'd not be so bad
If only you had
Pronounced the last word, "dire rear."
--- Cyber Wizard
Put under great strain -- it will sever!
It's great when a "lever
Connects with a "beaver",
But "beer/diarrhea"? Not clever!
--- Donald
Whilst downing that draught to its dregs.
The smell of her breath
Was worse than Black Death,
And feculence oozed down her legs.
--- Randog
Had breath that was reeking of shit.
His bad halitosis
Was due to psychosis;
He liked to eat out the wrong slit.
--- Jeeves TP9802
Who peed and then pooped in his salad.
If this rhyme makes you cry,
Then you understand why
You shouldn't have asked for a ballad.
--- Rob Cameron
Who made his fat girlfriend eat poo.
On his face she did sit
With a mouth full of shit,
And said "Now you'll be eating some too."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We have all this Kotex to carry."
He said, "I'll annoint
With vodka your joint
And drink the world's first Bloody Mary."
--- David Miller
Like the taste of fresh menstruation,
As the sauce for a roast,
By itself or on toast.
Eat or drink it for your delectation.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who married a man called Bill Gooding.
But her hygiene was dud
And her menstrual blood
Had congealed to a moldy black pudding.
--- Donald McGill
And shoveled much more than he should in.
He swallowed and belched
From all that he felched,
Then, stopping the flow, rammed his wood in.
--- Randog
And each month for breakfast would eat,
For it was well seasoned
And so it was reasoned,
Had a taste that couldn't be beat!
--- Donald McGill
Was the ugliest chick in the nation.
But her twat was so sweet,
Men fell at her feet,
To lick up her monthly menstruation.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who ate shit from dead peoples bowels.
His idea of bliss
Was to prostitutes piss,
And the drippings of sanitary towels.
--- Anon
This is file uxl
Stuck my face in her snatch for a rub.
But her tampon fell out,
And I left with a shout;
Then gave my red face a good scrub.
--- Paul Boston
Who've a fetish for menstrual punch,
For breakfast these lads
Snack on menstrual pads
And gladly save tampons for lunch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who sat there and ate her own puke.
She picked at her ass
And ate it in class,
Then some semen from some dude named Luke.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who sucked off a man in a garden.
He said, "My dear Flo,
Where does all that stuff go?"
And she said, "(swallow hard)--I beg pardon?"
--- L0379
Remarked as she swallowed my semen;
"On my miniscule salary,
I must watch every calorie,
So I get 'ahead' eating you he-men."
--- G0828
What appear to be cream-laden cakes.
But the heat and the steam
Are the cause of the cream,
For she plays with his knob as he bakes.
--- Anon
Who was fired one day by his boss,
Because he was found
With his pants on the ground,
Dripping nasty stuff into the sauce.
--- P Dryden
Appeals greatly to all virile men.
This Southern-fried chicken
On gism don't sicken,
And goes family-style, now and then.
--- G0923
Neither American nor cheddar would do.
'Twas only the kind
One happened to find
Whilst gobbling a pecker or two.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who was blowing a lad at the club.
He cried "Whoa! Enough!
Can't swallow that stuff!"
But all she could say was "glub, glub."
--- Sam Pittman TP9802
Who lived on used condoms and shite.
The rubbery bits
Were as tough as old tits,
But the goo left inside was alright!
--- Moony T9801
You must be fellating again!
Must be great as you try it,
And right for your diet;
It'll keep you looking quite thin."
--- Stan the Man
Who liked having sex with his porridge,
With sugar and cream,
And a buttery scream.
(The leftovers went into storage.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"What care I for this shortage of gum?
My favorite chew
Is a condom or two,
With a goodly amount of fresh come."
--- G1497
To the man whom she gave a blow-job
"I'm really quite grateful,
It's like eating a plateful
Of hot-dogs and corn-on-the-cob."
--- Writerman
Who couldn't fit into her tights.
She found a new diet
And was dying to try it:
Just Irish come, sprouts and brown rice.
--- Gene Brady
With body curvaceous and lissom.
From midnight 'till three
She gives blowjobs for free,
And keeps slim on a diet of gism.
--- Peter Wilkins
Tim would wait till his brother was through,
Then Tim licked the paste,
For he relished the taste
Of a cunt where another man blew.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2241
He was a dirty demon.
She served the crew
With menstrual stew
And hymens steeped in semen.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She loved cock and gobbling goo.
She would guzzle your load
'Til your nuts would implode,
And leave you with nothing to spew.
--- R Rick
Don't eat white things on any occasion,
Like rice, pasta, or bread,
And never give head
To anyone who's mostly Caucasian.
--- Theo M Heller P9504
Keeps bon-bons and chips in her dresser,
Handy next to the bed;
When she's not giving head,
You can give her a snack to impress her.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402
Loved drinking bull's semen on ice
So I said "That's quite strange.
Do you fancy a change?"
So she swapped it for my bowl of rice.
--- Anon
Without coaxing and such argy-bargle,
Could suck a man's pud
Just as hard as she could,
And she saved up the sperm for a gargle.
--- L0412
Which brings in nine months and a day,
A bundle of joy,
An infant so coy,
But a swallow keeps babies away.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0876a
Who habits were grossly obscene.
He loved to eat jizz,
Both others and his,
When served in a hot soup tureen.
--- L0784
Who liked to cook food in a wok.
"My food tastes so great
Because I masturbate
And add an some stuff from my big cock.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Rarely let a man into her belly.
She would eat it instead,
And spread it on bread
With guaranteed spermacide jelly.
--- G1505
She sang opera -- that was her choice.
She'd take men to bed
And, after giving them head,
Gargle semen to strengthen her voice!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He likes to have little girls frig him.
The big girls he fuckses,
Their panties he muckses,
And trains 'em to swallow and swig him.
--- G0830
Could toss a green salad with ease,
By using his tool
From which he would drool
A dressing folks thought was blue cheese.
--- P8604
Says, "Honey chile, family-style's pallid!"
This erogenous wench
Loves to work 'em off French,
And use the results in her salad.
--- G1515
Who's favourite candy was sperm.
She'd go find a lad
She did not have had,
And suck really hard on his worm.
--- Anon
Who fed upon cunt-juice and spew.
When he couldn't get this,
He fed upon piss,
And a bloody good substitute, too.
--- Norman Douglas P9206
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