MORE
The coroner's daughter, Miss Gail, Delights of my life ain't forgotten; My Jimmy was handsome and brave. There once was a woman named Kit There was the dead body of Ernest, She did up her hair in long dreadlocks. Re: dead men you ladies have squired, A man is no good when he's dead; In the morgue under false pretenses, The embalmer's wife knew what it meant, Said Bruce, "To ravish a lass A dweller in classical Greece Funny Bone went to the store Of all my beloved memorabilia, There was a young fellow named Perce When our cow turned up badly diseased, Little Jack Horner sat in his corner My Mommy once said with a groan, "My head hurts, doc. Don't stand there scoffin'!" An old undertaker named Flock An old undertaker named Jock, There once was a corpse-fucker bold, One day, when I strayed to a glade, Just remember what Ben Franklin said; My darling is pallid and cold. A man who is lacking in pride, A necrophile name of Ned Shultz, There was a young man from LeHavre, If, lads, you've no money for whoring, Reminds me when I was the secon' in There once was a young man called Jack, I found a dead nun in a sewer; There once were two necrophile queers That's disgusting -- offensive, old man! There was a young man of Brasilia, Your offer's attractive, very, There was a young man named McNull, Said Marvin, "Most people, when dead, Said a necrophile lad in Iraq, Now this is offensive to me! If sonny, by that you're upset, Oh Tiddy, good Tiddy, my dear, A medical student named Poole To erode my post-holiday weight, I made love to a fixed-up blind date, Sometimes it is really hard workin', A grave digger once did exhume The old archeologist, Lew, The old undertaker named Niven, Coitus upon a cadaver Grinned a grave-robbing hermit named Reese: Though, truly, there's much can be said The virginal Miss Estelle Greeley The graveyard's where I met Matilda; There was an old barber named Moffin, Said a gruesome grave-robber from Wapping, I once loved a girl with no head, Meet Elmer, young son of Thorpes, There was a grave digger named Vance I know a gay necro named Ward There was an old pander from Perth A young Pennsylvanian, Norm, "Ah'm praying fuh guidance" says Blab, There was a necrophile named Ron, "As for women," said old hermit Mottsum, A pervert just went simply wild,
Was having a cold piece of tail.
She preferred her men dead,
And the reason, she said,
Was that heads which are cool, will prevail.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2878
For instance, that boff in the cotten
Last week with Sue Ginty,
Who died there in '20
And, thus, has grown perfectly rotten.
--- Anon
He died of a very close shave.
But now he's (I've checked)
Forever erect,
And that's kept him out of the grave.
--- Ericka
Who kept a dead lover named Brit.
I don't care if he reeks
After all of these weeks,
But I'm madder than Hell that he split!
--- Anon Z
Who Polly, the trainee stlatternest,
Decided to fuck
Just once more for luck,
Before he was covered and furnaced.
--- Archie
To Glasgow she went, tried to bed jocks.
They, too, spurned her, so
To the morgue she did go,
And got all her fucking from dead cocks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I'm sure that they never got tired.
And though they came off
In the midst of a boff,
I doubt any babies were sired.
--- Anon
Not much good when alive, it is said.
Still stinks up the house,
The dirty old louse;
At least he won't have to be fed.
--- Marlene
A nurse, who was having her menses,
Screwed a well-hung dead male
(At least that's the tale)
And transfused him back to his senses.
--- Frank Fazed
When in bed her husband was spent.
So she opened the freezer
And found her a pleaser,
By the sheet that was propped like a tent.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who's dead is both brutish and crass,
But to bury the buns
Of your brothers and sons,
Is a waste of some beautiful ass."
--- John Miller
Was caught loving the corpse of his niece.
He said, "Others have boys
As their classical toys,
Why complain just how I get a piece?"
--- John Miller 0157
For duct tape and putty and more.
He's not making stuff;
His dead momma's muff
Just needed some patching -- it tore.
--- H Welchel
The best concerns old Aunt Amelia.
The dildo she cherished
Went with her when she perished.
You just can't beat Faux Necrophilia.
--- Theo M Heller P9308
Whose antics were somewhat perverse,
For he cried and he cried
When his grandmother died,
But he buggered the corpse in the hearse.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2910
Sister was cruel and she teased,
"Dad's better than you!
Mom thinks so too!"
(Now dead, she's more easily pleased)
--- John Miller
Playing with his grandma's twat.
He stuck in his pinky,
And got it all stinky,
And said, "Damn! You're beginning to rot!"
--- Anon
"You can't play with your sister, Joan.
I know that she's nice,
But she's colder than ice.
Will you please leave the coffin alone!"
--- Charlie Roe
"My boy, you must take care when boffin'
Your granny at night,
By the gibbous moon's light,
To take the lid right off the coffin."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Once lifted a young lady's frock.
She was fucked without strife
For the time of her life,
But he fucked her with grandfather's cock.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2874
A corpse on the slab did unfrock.
In a coffin he tucked her,
And he laughed as he fucked her,
For he fucked her with grandfather's cock!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2889
Who liked them at least ten years old.
He'd keep his begetter
Wrapped in a French letter,
Because it was allergic to mold.
--- H Welchel
I lay with a maid in the shade.
Though fresh then, and dining,
She died, and I'm pining;
For time's caused her beauty to fade.
--- Q
Think it's true even when she is dead;
Slow, with time, she will wrinkle
Down towards tasty tinkle;
For a while, all you'll need's a cheese spread!
--- Allen Wolverton Q
My darling will never grow old,
And when she is rotten,
I will have forgotten --
Another young belle will have tolled.
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9511
Attends funerals far, near, and wide.
When asked about this,
His reply is, "It's bliss
To bugger a piece of dead hide."
--- L0506
Often brags of his deeds and exults,
"'Tis legal, It's said,
To make love to the dead,
If performed by consenting adults."
--- Anon
Who cornered a lovely cadaver.
And though our young Stanley
Realized it unmanly,
He knew when he wished he could have her.
--- Anon
And think you have no chance of scoring,
Then try necrophilia,
I'm sure it will fill ya
Sex needs, though it's really dead boring.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Command of a trawler, and beckonin'
The corpse of the mate,
Who'd died around eight
Days before, he was using dead reckonin'.
--- Anon
A proud necrophiliac.
The girls he preferred
Were always interred,
Though the digging was hard on his back.
--- RB
I knew then and there that I'd do her.
I started to stab it;
I came on her habit,
And filled her cunt hole with manure.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who purchased a corpse in Algiers;
But it's ass was packed tight
With fossilized shite,
And claims for a refund met jeers.
--- Simon Whitechapel
This is file uil
I vote that such posts we should ban.
As everyone knows
Algeria blows --
I always buy mine in Sudan.
--- Hugh Clary
Whose hobby was gerontophilia.
Then his partner dropped dead.
"I guess now," he said,
"I'll have to take up necrophilia."
--- Alexander Baron
A warm cosy place to make merry.
And if you've the space,
I'll fill up the place
With the girls from the whole cemetery.
--- Anon
Devoid of all brains and so dull,
When he found his girl dead
From a shot in the head,
He buggered the hole in her skull.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0734
Are inert and poor givers of head.
Inside a closed coffin,
I stick to straight boffin',
Or bugger the bastards instead."
--- John Miller Q
"It's virgins I once use to lack.
But thanks to the Yanks,
With their bombs and their tanks,
My pecker now never goes slack."
--- John Miller
It's sick and repungent, you see...
So get up and go!
Be gone! Can't you know,
We'd like you to jump in the sea!
--- Joker
Then out of this place you should get.
We're rude and we're crude,
So fuck off you prude,
And go and get chopped by the vet.
--- Tiddy Ogg
You've misunderstood me, I fear.
I just tried to be cute
But bombed, big time. Shoot,
Guess I'll just take my lumps in the rear.
--- Joker
Kept a corpse in his room at the school.
He said, "Why I have her --
This lovely cadaver --
To slip into something that's cool."
--- P8305
I forswore any food from my plate.
Then I asked all my pals
If they knew any gals
Who would like a sex fiend for a mate.
--- Ward Hardman
Who they told me in church would await.
A fun exercise,
But my greatest surprise,
Was to find she was "lying in state."
--- Ward Hardman
While givin' a corpse a good porkin'.
If you wait for consent,
Before plumbing the vent,
You'll get maggots all over your organ.
--- Lewis
Two corpses, intending to scrume.
To make them the moister,
He hacked up an oyster,
And lubed their dry quims with his rheum.
--- H Welchel
Remarked to his wife, "We are through!
For a mummy I've fucked
And from this I deduct
That a mummy moves quicker than you!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2161
A fuck to a lady was givin'.
He said to her, "Jill,
Lie perfectly still,
For I never have fucked with the livin'.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2905
Is the ultimate way you can have her.
Her inanimate state
Means a man needn't wait,
And eliminates all the palaver.
--- L0458
"It enhances my jism's release
If there is lack of palaver,
And a female cadaver
Is a non-conversational piece!"
--- Jim O'Conner P8801
In favor of girls that are dead.
But I'd rather their squirm
Didn't come from a worm,
And they seldom are good giving head.
--- John Miller
Won't ever let men cop a feely.
But Waterford said,
"She takes her men dead."
But it's he that enjoys necrophily.
--- Mike Tice
With seminal fluid I filled her.
She said not a word,
As I'd just disinterred
Her... And wished for a while I'd not killed her.
--- Anon
While shaving a corpse for the coffin,
Did embrace it profuse --
But he had an excuse --
He did not get this chance very often.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2901
"A mummy's not rummy for clapping.
It's a bit of a bust
With the dirt and the dust,
And your penis gets caught in the wrapping."
--- G1078
And asked her to meet me in bed.
She wouldn't put out;
I started to shout,
And then I noticed she was dead.
--- James
Afflicted with psychotic warps.
His idea of fun
Is to bugger a nun,
And then vomit all over the corpse.
--- L0517
Who just couldn't handle romaance.
He'd skulk around town
And people would frown.
They wondered what smelled in his pants.
--- H Welchel
Who goes for dates in a churchyard.
When he digs up a twat,
He's not that distraught,
But flips her and plays his hole card.
--- TuttaGioia
Who wanted so much to unearth
A female cadaver
(No need for palaver!)
Who'd never poke fun at his girth.
--- TuttaGioia
Loved screwing in all of it's forms;
With girls, front and rear;
With boys, now that's queer;
With corpses, preferably warm.
--- Marge
Who fucks corpses laid on on the slab.
And he searches his bible
In case he'd be liable
To get his ass lost in the flab.
--- G2259
Who met a bestialist named John.
They found a man with a lobotomy,
And they now practice sodomy,
And they still don't see anything wrong!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"In the past, I must say I have bought some.
But I don't anymore;
I go down to the shore
And I search through the jetsam and flotsam."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2903
When the beautiful corpse he defiled,
'Stead of lying inert
When he started to spurt,
Gave a shudder and hauntlingly smiled.
--- John Miller
MORE
8Feb19