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The bishop, an actress related, The venerable Bishop of Twickenham There was an old Bishop from Rye Two girls went to see Bishop Noyes -- There was an old Bishop of Druckov An Episcopal bishop named Prout It is true that the Bishop of Birmingham The clergy of Birmingham last heard But this Bishop did nothing amiss You've heard of the bishop of Birmingham, There was an old Bishop whose choir By the Thames lay the Bishop of Twickenham; A bishop named Flynn from Glister, Said the Bishop, "My dear, you are right: There once was a Bishop of Treet, The jolly old Bishop of Birmingham, "The eminent Bishop of Birmingham There once was a bishop named Dunn, There was an old Bishop whose Mass The fearless old Bishop of Brest, The Bishop of Truro, in mitre, The artful old priest of North Junction A simple young lady named Post The night Bishop Brown came to call, The dirty old Bishop of Reading, There was a young Bishop of Brest, A lecherous Bishop of Peoria, As head of the African missions, (must have been a bishop)
The bishop who came from Berlin All was seen by a nun from the choir, There never was anything neater, The Bishop of Ibu Plantation, By a miracle, the Bishop of Bray Did you know that the Bishop at Eton A Bishop in Rome named Puccini The bishop was asked why he tripped A horny old bishop named Schleft A young bishop who tended his flock, The Bishop, both wicked and unsavory, The Bishop dispensed with propriety, There was an old Bishop of Hell There was a young girl of Verdun By the bishop the lady was floored There was an old bishop of Franktum There once was a girl from Paris, The stuffy old Bishop of Galt, he A lady of North Chesapeake There once was a Bishop of Bude, The fearless old Bishop of Brest Mopping up semen with a wafer, There was an old bishop named Dunn "Well, Madam," the Bishop declared, A sister the Bish tried to schtup. The capable Bishop of Royster When the mistress of Father McGee (rank hath its priviledge)
Her priest had explained 'extreme unction' "Your most pious bishops are ones Mopping up the come with a wafer, Her face flushing hotter and rosier, The Bishop of Bath and of Wells, The Bishop of Bath and of Wells, Clerical persons who seek The Vicar, St Norman's Manse, Sir: And just by way of postscript, That lusty old Bishop of Birmingham Thus lisped the new prelate, a Catholic: As an antidote to the March gales,
Was seen to be flushed and elated.
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
The bishopric's just been fellated."
--- Tim Chafer TP9807a
His youth spent on assholes and sticking 'em.
After years had elapsed
His poor prick -- it collapsed --
Now his thoughts are on pussies and licking 'em.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1107
Who was hit in the face by a pie.
Then he said, "Bugger!
There's steak in my 'lugger',
And a kidney stuck right in my eye!"
--- Anon
Confirmation proceeded with poise.
When they both tried to lick
His Episcopal prick,
He explained he preferred little boys.
--- Al Chaplin P8507
Who searched for a student to suck off.
He found one on tap,
Who'd lie down for a nap,
But nothing he could make a buck off.
--- Dennis M Hammes
Was sometimes afflicted with doubt.
When this chanced to occur,
He would find him a her,
And indulge in a bawdy night out.
--- Harald S Green P8510
Had diddled these girls while confirming 'em;
For he took down his pants
'Mid liturgical chants,
And released the Episcopal sperm in em.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0979
That their broad-minded Bishop got plastered.
The occasion was this:
He was told by a miss
He'd begot an Episcopal bastard.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0980
In conducting these lasses to bliss.
May the Church ne'er unfrock
His Episcopal cock,
But preserve it -- a relic to kiss.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0981
Well, here's the new story concerning 'im:
He buggers the choir
Singing "Ave Maria,"
And fucks all the girls whilst confirming 'em.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Were the dregs that nobody would hire.
He said, "So they're sluts
With the broadest of butts,
But the deeper they're poked, they sing higher."
--- Dennis M Hammes
He was straddling a lad and was sticking him.
But the main thing concering him
Was the Bishop of Birmingham,
Who talked only of pussies and licking 'em.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1105
Was caught in bed screwing a sister.
The faithful were shocked...
Now, defrocked and deflocked,
Flynn carries the title of Mister.
--- Jane D Hughes P9101
The Vicar's a man of great might.
But he hasn't my flash,
My vigor and smash,
And he can't come eight times in one night!"
--- G1126
Who decided to be indescreet.
But after one round,
To his horror he found,
You repeat and repeat and repeat!
--- L0567
He buggered three maid while confirming 'em.
As they knelt seeking God,
He excited his rod,
And pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em.
--- Anon
Seduced the young girls when confirmingham.
When they came to confess
He would lift up their dress
And insert his Episcopal wormingham."
--- Anon
Seducing a tender young nun.
When he got in the habit,
She fucked like rabbit.
He knew he was not the first one.
--- David Miller
Ended up with a dick up his ass.
And instant salvation
Of the congregation
When friction ignited his gas.
--- Dennis M Hammes
Put his faith in the Lord to the test.
He fucked whores in the apse
With chancres and claps,
But first they were sprinkled and blessed.
--- Albin Chaplin G1093
And robes went, (he told to this writer,)
As day was a-dimmin',
To find fallen women...
His purse ended 30 pounds lighter.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Corrected the bishop's dysfunction.
Now it's nuns on the grass
And old priests up the ass,
And he fucks without fear or compunction.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0985
Liked Bishop O'Malley the most.
When he plunged in his knob,
She felt such a throb,
That she swore she was fucked by the Ghost.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1072
Ms. Grace seduced him in the hall.
And while he was strumming,
He heard footsteps coming.
The result? From Grace he did fall.
--- Jane D Hughes P9101 a
Oft dreamt of young boys he'd be bedding.
But now he's been jailed.
He'll soon be impaled,
As perverts his cheeks will be spreading.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who openly practiced incest.
"My sisters and nieces
Are all dandy pieces,
And they don't cost a cent," he confessed.
--- L0537
In a state of constant euphoria,
Enjoyed having fun,
With a whore or a nun,
While chanting the Sanctus and Gloria.
--- L0558
He overcame all inhibitions.
And in forty positions
Had forty emissions,
Thus fulfilling his lifetime ambitions.
--- Laurence Perrine P9101
Had a cock that was longer than sin.
When he fucked his nun, Grace,
It came out through her face
And it splattered all over his chin.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0973
And it filled her with lust and desire,
So her habit she lifted-
But the Bishop, well-gifted,
Took one look and he pulled on his wire.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0978
Than the Bishop of Chichester's peter.
In the heat of a clinch,
It would stretch from an inch,
To just a bit short of a meter.
--- G0411
Wrote a thesis on Transfiguration,
For the Christian Review,
(As good Bishops do)
Whilst practicing miscegenation.
--- L1661
Gave birth to a young boy one day.
He said to the lad,
"I'm your Mom, not your Dad.
Your father's a priest in Cape May."
--- Theo Heller P9312
This is file ttm
Schemes at nothing but getting his meat in?
He has whores by the scores
And can undo his drawers
With no hands, while a girl he is greetin'.
--- G1105
Has fathered one hundred bambini.
He says, "Nookie sizes
Are often surprises,
But they all give a thrill to my weenie."
--- G1151
With a nun to the depths of the crypt.
He replied, "They collapse,
If they're fucked in the apse,
And when fucked in the nave, some have flipped."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1102
Plunged his prick in a worn-out nun's cleft,
But her cunt was so spacious
That he said, "Goodness gracious!
For a moment I thought you had left."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1084
Entered Abbey and gave her a shock.
He said, "This is fun!",
'Cause I often get nun;
This is better than pulling your cock."
--- Anon
Confronted the synod with bravery.
He cried, "It was they!
I tried to say 'Nay'!
But the owlets seduced me with knavery!"
--- Tutta Gioia
A lady of evening society.
At night sans his collar,
Paid many a dollar
For sex in most every variety!
--- Jane D Hughes P9101
Who detected a purulent smell.
He continued to boff,
But his pecker fell off,
When he thought he was doing so well.
--- Dennis M Hammes
Who studied to be a good nun.
It's a matter of history
That she fucked the consistory,
And by bishops, the Pope was outdone.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1109H
And her faith in the Lord was restored.
Into heaven they went
As the two of them spent;
A few moments of joy with the Lord.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1020
Who checked all the nuns and he ranked 'em
As to depth of the twat,
Whether cold or how hot,
And the way that they fucked in his sanctum.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1024
Who claimed, "No one has gotten to me!"
Then the Bishop of Rheims
Changed all that, it seems.
Now she hardly takes time out to pee.
--- John Miller 0326
Was licking a nun that was faulty.
He said, "Bless my soul!
So deep is this hole,
I find that the water is salty."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1027
Advice from the bishop did seek.
But he said her pudenda
Was not on the agenda,
So he scheduled her Thursday next week.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0995
Who every so often got screwed.
He might have atoned,
If he'd only got stoned,
But a Rev getting screwed, well, that's lewd.
--- Anon
Put his faith in the Lord to the test.
In the apse he fucked whores
Who had chancres and sores,
But first they were sprinkled and blessed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0991
The Bishop tried to placate her.
"Not yet, if you please,"
She said on her knees,
"The second coming, I prefer."
--- William Taylor
Who screwed an old lady for fun.
Then he wrote her a letter;
Said her daughter was better;
And her mother was second to nun.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1007
While the Vicar just mumbled and stared,
"'Twere better, perhaps,
In the crypt or the apse,
Because sex in the nave must be shared."
--- Anon
"It doth not runneth over, mine cup."
So obediently,
With neither hand free,
She tried hard to help the bishop!
--- Jane D Hughes P9101
Was fucking a nun in the cloister.
But he soon did lament
And he left her, unspent,
For he felt that she could have been moister.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1080
Was preempted by His Excellency,
Father said, "Not to whine,
But you took what was mine!"
And the bishop said, "R.H.I.P."
--- William N Nesbit P0110
As requiring their sexual conjunction.
He had started her shriving
When the Bishop, arriving,
Said, "Lad, you're usurping my function!"
--- Jemstone P0109
Who never just sit on their buns,"
Caesare Borgia once noted.
"They all are devoted
To taking good care of their sons."
--- A N Wilkins P9101a
The Bishop tried to placate her.
Not yet if you please,
She said on her knees,
The second coming I prefer.
--- Anon
Young Debbie said, "Can we get cosier,
Dear Bishop of York;
'Cause I'd sure like a pork
From your hugely magnificent crozier."
--- Peter Wilkins
Used to suffer from frenetic spells.
And the only quick cure
Of which he was sure,
Was to fondle his monks in their cells.
--- Anon
Was wholly unconscious of smells.
Throughout the whole diocese,
No whiff was as high as his.
The odor of sanctity tells.
--- Anon
Odd objects in ads every week,
Might like to choose
From a shipment of pews,
All new, all made out of teak.
--- George Peabody P0304
To dignify you with an answer,
It behooves me to note
Your original quote
Was flawed. I remain, Yours, A Fan, sir.
--- George Peabody P0304
Might I say that I find you loose-lipped!
If you don't want my pews,
You don't have to choose.
Go lock thyself off in the crypt.
--- George Peabody P0304
Seduced comely girls, ere confirming 'em.
But wasn't uncouther'n
An average Lutheran,
Injecting Episcopal sperm in 'em.
--- Ward Hardman
"I don't want to thound too hyperbolic!
My advanth up to cardinal,
Involvth cleaning his urinal,
Then giving the Pope a good atholic."
--- Ward Hardman
Old Tiddy here once more regales,
From a book of folk lore,
From 1944,
One of the many folk tales.
--- Tiddy Ogg
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