What do they mean when they say,
The Episcopal Bishop is gay?
Are we to posit
He's out of the closet,
Or runs around shouting Hurray!
--- Timothy Torkildson

The world on a new course embarks;
Let bishops clean toilets in parks.
And the all-holy Pope
Should be strung from a rope,
And the cardinals thrown to the sharks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1011

The Bishop-Elect of Hong Kong
Has a cock that is ten inches long.
He thinks the spectators
Are admiring his gaiters
When he goes to the Gents -- he is wrong.
--- W H Auden

The Bishop of Little Wyre Piddle
With young parish ladies would fiddle.
If they gave a squeal,
He'd know it was real,
Then he'd finish them off with a diddle.
--- Archie

There was an old Bishop of Darbles
Whose sermons were glitches and garbles.
When let out to play
By the deacon on day,
He did gamble, and lost all his marbles.
--- Dennis M Hammes

A bishop there was of Dundee,
Who would bounce little girls on his knee.
And he cuddled and pinched 'em,
Until the town lynched him,
For putting his hands where they pee!
--- Vassar W Smith P9305

The awful old Bishop of Purvis
Would wiggle and scratch during service.
His balls and his boredom,
And his attitude toward 'em
Made all his parishioners nervous.
--- G1152

The Bishop was bashing away,
On fine Midsummers day;
On the vinegar stroke,
His basher got broke,
And his chimere is stained to this day! (Anglican robe)
--- oOOo

There was an old Bishop whose terms
Were as dull and prolific as germs.
And so when St Peter
Consulted his meter,
He transferred the Bishop to Worms.
--- Dennis M Hammes

"I am the Bishop of Yardleigh,
And though you mightn't think it of me,
I've a face like a lamb,
A prick like a ram
And a mind like a W.C."

(W.C. - water closet = toilet)
--- G2750

There was an old Bishop of Kent
Who never screwed nuns during Lent.
He said this motivation
Was from sheer exaltation,
But in truth his resources were spent.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1046

An Episcopal Bishop coadjutor
Proclaimed that he like persons neuter:
"For so long as they're tender,
The question of gender
Is a relative one to a fruiter."
--- G1055

"In battle I found it dismaying
That the bishop was always delaying.
As a general, Polk,"
Said Bragg, "Is a joke
And henceforth should stick to his praying."
--- A N Wilkins P9101

Said Bishop of St. Luke's-On-Trent,
"Give up sex perversion for Lent!"
Though it won't be easy,
Since I am so sleazy,
I shant boff a ewe in a tent.
--- Anon

There was an old Bishop of Jinn
Who looked upon living in sin
As a hideous crime,
For he didn't have time
For it all, nor enough to begin.
--- Dennis M Hammes

The Bishop of Bath and of Wells
Was deficient in spermatoid cells.
His frail masculinity
Preserved the virginity
Of all the diocesan belles.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was an old Bishop of Bray
Who was pretty sure others were gay.
While the things he would do
For a nickel or two,
Were always done only for pay.
--- Dennis M Hammes

A catholic bishop named Carol,
Caught pounding his tool sans apparel,
Was derided by all,
Sneering, "After this Fall,
The Pope's got you over a barrel."
--- Armand Singer

The horny old Bishop of Lundy,
While itching for ass, sipped burgundy.
But no nun would consent
For the period of Lent,
So he palmed it by hand on Palm Sunday.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1055

"I say," said the Bishop of Woking,
"This matter I fear is provoking,
For the Duchess of Tweekly
Has her periods twice weekly,
Which leaves me no period for poking."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1115

There was an old Bishop, so witty,
He thought he would pet a nice kitty.
But "kitty" flipped up
And delivered a cup
Of a smell near as bad as self-pity.
--- Dennis M Hammes

There was an old Bishop whose picture
Was let without hindrance or stricture.
The subsequent poses
Were worthy of roses,
Despite the odd smell of the mixture.
--- Dennis M Hammes

A penitent bishop named Gallet
Would sleep on a hard, wretched pallet,
Put on a hair shirt,
Eat food full of dirt,
And pound both his balls with a mallet.
--- Armand E Singer 655

The oversexed Bishop of Gloucester,
Each girl that he saw, he'd accost her;
He tried expiation
For suchlike temptation
By spouting a weak Pater Noster.
--- Armand E Singer 501

When the bishop's prick failed, it appears
That the nuns were beset with great fears.
Fifty harlots from Dallas
And the Queen from her palace,
Attended the wake and shed tears.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0965

There was an old Bishop whose lice
Were quite large, with the jaws of a vise.
He'd pass you the plate,
Then pat at his pate,
Thus putting the bite on you twice.
--- Dennis M Hammes

So they caught you outside in the nude,
Doing something unspeakably rude
To Her Majesty's statue,
While screeching, "Take that, you!"
Then basically, Bishop, you're screwed!
--- Rory Ewins

There was an old Bishop of Chichester,
Who said thrice (the Latin for which is 'ter'),
"Avaunt and defiance,
Foul spirit called Science,
And quit Mother Church, thou bewitchest her."
--- Anon Punch 1925 (Bibby)

For the bishop, a nun name of Block,
Showed her cunt when she lifted her frock.
But the bishop drew back,
"What an unholy crack!
I would much rather play with my cock!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0986

A frustrated bishop was Blaining;
On nuns he was no longer gaming,
So to better his scores
He relinquished his whores,
And from cornholing priests was refraining.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0984

The Victorian bishop swore, "Zounds!
A man's doctrine is surely not grounds
For awarding a see.
The question to me,
Is if he can ride with the hounds."
--- A N Wilkins P9101

There was an old Bishop whose ring
"Somehow" stuck on the end of his thing.
"It's a shocking high note
To be heard from a shoat,"
Said the Cantor, "but Oy! can he sing."
--- Dennis M Hammes

A spy for the Holy See saw
Some bishops not only seesaw
On celibacy
But, peep-holing, he
Some anti-celibacy saw.
--- Irving Superior P9101

This is file tum

There was an old Bishop of Mounds
Who, more than his pulpit, had pounds.
His sermons, refined
Would only remind
How a self-absorbed idiot sounds.
--- Dennis M Hammes

The bishop, determined to dwell
With the natives in order to sell
The Gospel to friends,
With their questioning ends,
By writing to prove there's no Hell.
--- A N Wilkins P9101

A bishop from Texas named Leven
Pulled out his six shooter or seven?
He slipped in a clip
And shot from the hip,
Sending numerous colleagues to heaven.
--- New Zealand Bishop P8601

The Bishop almost had a stroke
Any time that Bysshe Shelly up spoke.
Though he knew very well he
Couldn't burn Bysshe in Hell, he
Could at least make poor Shelly smell smoke.
--- Laurence Perrine P9101

There was an old Bishop of Dinkey
Whose vestments were sultry and slinky.
He said, "If the Mass
Doesn't get them, my ass
Will convert both the cracker and kinky."
--- Dennis M Hammes

To the Pope, said the Bishop of Strand,
"I've a birth control method so grand.
The solution, I fear,
May not be very clear,
But I have it right here in my hand."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1096

A Bishop whose see was Vermont,
Used to jack himself off in the font.
The baptistry stank
With an odor most rank,
And no one would sit up in front.
--- L0568

There was an old Bishop of Crank
Who neither smoked, diddled, or drank.
And so, though his sermons
Were longer than Sherman's,
They also were perfectly blank.
--- Dennis M Hammes

To replenish each Parish Poor Box,
The cardinals held secret talks.
By Papal Decree,
For a nominal fee,
Each bishop should suck forty cocks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0987

A bibulous bishop would preach
After sunning his balls on the beach.
But his love life was ended
By a paunch so distended
It annulled, ipso facto, his reach.
--- L1209

There was a permissive young Bishop,
Who said to 'square' vicars, "Oh Pish! Op-
inions do vary--
Pray don't be contrary!
What's wrong with a porn-cannabis shop?"
--- Harold C Bibby

Said an elderly Bishop named Greville,
At a secret episcopal revel,
"We're distressingly bored
With the words of our Lord,
So let us discourse with the Devil.
--- Little Billie

The moment I got deathly sick,
To my opthamologist quick.
By him reassured;
My nausea cured --
There was no mis-spelled Bishoprick.
--- Irving Superior P9101

A bishop of tasteful distinction
Declined to commune by intinction,
"When I dip the bread,
The small crumbs that are shed
Transubstantiate down in the sinktion."

(intinction - dipping bread in wine to get both)
--- Bob Maximoff P9103

There was an old Bishop whose lace
Was designed to show off his face.
And except for the smell,
Nobody could tell
When he dressed up his ass in its place.
--- Dennis M Hammes

The bishop engaged an assortment
Of hustlers for ribald disportment.
He observed, "Though I'm thrilled
By their antics so skilled,
I must censor their vulgar deportment.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0966

There was an old bishop named Fitches,
Who ripped off his gown and his britches.
With his prick at full length
He cried, "God give me strength!"
And he fucked all the saints in their niches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1019

As the bishop's exalted routine
Nowadays keeps him far from the scene,
Where he might make time
With the girls in their prime,
All that's left is to bugger the dean.
--- A N Wilkins P9101

The horny old bishop of Franktum
Invaded the Pope's inner sanctum,
Where he beat it to metre,
'Neath the Dome of St. Peter,
Then he buggered the Pope and he thanked 'im.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1023

A horny old bishop named Bart
Made buggery a very fine art.
He performed so superior
At the papal posterior
That the Pope had no time for a fart.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0971

The disgusting old Bishop of Strood
Buggered choir boys alone in the nude.
He pulled a huge blob
From the end of his knob,
And said,"My, how these boys bolt their food!"
--- Anon

At the church stood the Bishop van Krepp;
He was eating a nun on the step.
While the Pope in a rage,
And belying his age,
Fucked the Bishop with vigor and pep.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1048

The emperor sat in his palace
Complacently fondling his phallus.
When he spied the fat ass
Of the bishop at mass,
He buggered him twice with his chalice.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0943

Though the bishop had strong provocation
From those minxes at their confirmation,
Since he buggered the bitches
Who got into his britches,
He was had up for child molestation.
--- A N Wilkins P8507

There was an old Bishop of Rome
Who practiced his craft 'neath the Dome.
He'd rejoice with great noise
As he buggered choir boys,
So the Pope shipped his ass off to Nome.
--- Frank Ward P9309

An old Bishop of Bath and of Wells
Used to break up his room in hotels.
Then he'd rip off his gaiters;
Abuse several waiters;
Well, he was never a one for the belles.
--- Bill Wall

An actress used language so crass,
To a Bishop in his bed of brass,
That he called out "My dear!
Cease that language, d'you hear?
Keep a civil tongue there up my ass!"
--- Anon

There was an old harlot Alsatian
Whose house was the best in the nation.
An old bishop of yore,
Who loved piece and not war,
Kissed her twat at the house consecration.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0963

There was an old Bishop of Druckov
Who attended a Circular Suckoff.
He had barely begun
When he'd already won,
First, Second, Third, Fourth and the fuck off.
--- Dennis M Hammes

When the bishop was blessing nun Grace,
His weakened heart started to race,
Then she raised up her smock
And invited his cock,
But he died with a smock on his face.
--- Albin Chaplin

There was an old Bishop whose terms,
Rants, and sermons were riddled with germs.
While the bulk of his thesis
Was little but feces,
Because of the diet of worms.
--- Dennis M Hammes

There was an old Bishop of Down
Whose mouth was exceedingly brown.
He blamed it on germs
From a diet of worms;
He did have a sort of renown.
--- Dennis M Hammes

To the church went the Bishop of Thrace
Where he knelt at the altar with Grace.
But Miss Grace, who was smart,
Stood with feet spread apart,
For like Frenchmen, he fucked with his face.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1100