MORE
A maddening monk made a pass, Pious monks who live in their cloisters Since about monks' loose morals you rave, An old Turkish monk, a DERVISH, A certain Carthusian monk A licentious monk, HETERODOX, In your verses monks seem so often The monks' garb, through age had grown marred. I'm tired of monks on the loose Though many friends cherished his words, Though he might not know where or when, Excuses spilled out CAVALCADE, A medieval monk named Sissions The monks in St. Anthony's cloisters There once were some lecherous quidnunces, (quidnunc - inquisitive idiot about small things)
Inverting his latent perversions, (animadvertion - critcism, censure)
There are some women that monks know, There was a young brother monastic, I remember a monk back in Sodom, The behind on this nun is prodigious. A religious old monk of Bombay I'm doubtful that self-flagellation I'll tell how my genitals shrunk: There once was a Dominican monk Trappist Monks used to be STOIC, Old Joseph, the filthiest monk, A monk in his desert retreat The monks at the Mozambique mission, I'm sorry for the aged monk Sensing teaching jobs were out of reach, There once was a monk of LaTrappe There was an old monk from Kilcrea, A young girl named Desiree That her eyes turned from brown to light grey.
That the blast killed a crow and a jay! That the shot was heard far from the fray.
The young Irish monk was a Celt, A monk, both moronic and manic In a cave, an old monk of Dahomey These round towers, the monks architected, There once was a monk of Camire, A bawdy monk would rave and rant; "You will, your career JEOPARDIZE, The laurel wreath of hair-ringed CHAPLET, Mad Monk wore a chaplet of hair, The monks of St. Wickid the Radish Ignatius, a monk from a monkery, There once was a monk in the choir That merry old monk that we've done, The monk at the calendar glances, A monk thought a young nun, VINCIBLE, There was an old monk named O'Hunt An impotent monk from Cheyenne Last Sunday, Ignatius the monk And thusly frustrated, she pursed A randy young monk got so fiery, (A holy holey wholly miss)
That MYOPIC mad monk used to say, There once was an Anglican parson There once was in the night an old parson, Said a parson, addressing his flock, In Southern Kentucky Parson Gelt There was an old parson of Lundy, (Published 1879)
An eminent preacher named Nixon, There was a young lady named Carson A parson who lived near Cremorne, There was a straight parson named Bings A parson with interests PUERILE, There was a gay parson of Norton
At a pretty young, acolyte lass.
This moral descent
Led to more time spent
Sinking toward a sinful MORASS.
--- Chris Papa
Should avoid a diet of oysters.
Such food can inspire
Illicit desire
In cocks, and the brothers might hoist theirs.
--- Thomas G Keller P9504 a
All sense of propriety waive.
I'm feeling bereft,
Since there's little left,
'Cept "Old Hermit who lives in a cave."
--- Chris Papa
Had a poor diet that was scurvish.
Young accolytes trim
Who dined with him
Held their "Baby Ruths" in reservish.
--- Chris Papa
Got "non-compos mentis" when drunk.
He stripped off his habit,
Then buggered the abbot
And covered his sandals with spunk.
--- Michael Horgan
Who liked to play games "with some box,"
Indiscriminate,
His urgings would sate
And now he's afflicted with pox.
--- Chris Papa
To find young nuns and go boffin'.
I cannot imagine
Forgiveness you'll cadge in
That great abbey beyond your coffin.
--- Daniel Ford
Brother John took them out in the yard;
Recolored those smocks;
They dried stiff as rocks.
The moral: old habits dye hard.
--- Tiddy Ogg
With propensities to give a goose
To an innocent nun,
Who thinks it's no fun
To find a frier in her caboose.
--- Norm
St. Francis offended the nerds,
And from such human chaff
Came one epitaph:
"His discourses were for the birds."
--- A N Wilkins P8702
He'd get this particular YEN.
Our monk, without frock,
Tried out brothel's stock,
As he peeled back his cowl now and then.
--- Chris Papa
When Mad Monk had pinched a young maid.
He said that he just
Had spotted some dust
That onto shapely buttocks had strayed.
--- Chris Papa
Was alarmed by his nightly emissions.
His cell-mate, a sod,
Said, "Leave it to God."
And taught him some nifty positions.
--- L0566
Make do with a pumpkin as moist as
A virginal twat
For relief on the spot,
While the Abbot gets two dozen oysters.
--- Anon
Who peeked in the room of five thin monks;
In the corners sat four,
In the center, one more --
In vulgar display of their quincunx. (spots on the #5 die)
--- Ed Potts P8801
The Mad Monk, he shouted aspersions;
He cried, "I'm Rasputin,
And I love rootin'-tootin'
With nuns, 'spite their animadvertions!"
--- Buckaroo
Who, while they may rock to and fro,
And think it is fun,
When they are all done,
They re-don their habits and go.
--- Chris Papa
Whose penis was somewhat elastic.
When it uncoiled,
With a snap it recoiled,
Disturbing his studies scholastic.
--- Peter Wilkins TP9804
Who, many a youngster had got 'im,
By convincing the crop,
Though it's crowded on top,
He had plenty of room at the bottom.
--- Hugh Clary
One might even say steatopygious."
So sayeth the monk
As into her he sunk,
Never thinking it might be SACRELIGIOUS
--- Norm Brust
Would sacrifice a Spam during May,
As a purgative rite,
To give demons a fright,
And keep the mosquitos away.
--- Mike O'Conner
Is practiced to curb masturbation
By monks in their cells,
For I think they ring bells
To hide noises of self-stimulation.
--- Peter Wilkins
It began when I fondled a monk
Who swore he was pure --
Which was pure horse manure --
One dunk, that skunk's spunk left me punk.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8512
Who was shut up so long that he stunk.
And that wasn't all,
(If i rightly recall)
There was something about him that shrunk.
--- G1135
Quiet life caused some to get sick.
But Vatican II
Freed them from old view.
Speaking was found to turn the trick.
--- Larry
Rarely bothered to wash, so he stunk
Of the stink deleterious
Of Mother Superior's
Ass hole and ten-day old spunk.
--- Anon
Has learned how to cope with the heat:
It won't break the rule,
And it helps him stay cool.
So he let's the sun beat on his meat.
--- Norm Storer P9806
Give midnight-hued maidens tuition,
For God and his ways.
But later, at day's
End, girlies teach them 'bout coition.
--- Anon
Who slept over upon a trunk.
For when he said,
"I'd like a bed,"
They all told him, "That is the bunk."
--- Lims Unlimited
Hoping to be a Novice, Sam Geech,
Remarked, "I'm far from sunk.
I'll be a Trappist Monk,
Since I'm unsure of the parts of speech."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0303
With the strength that no harlot could sap.
In the midst of a stand,
With a wave of his hand,
He could turn the thing off, like a tap.
--- G0637
Who of fasting grew tired every day.
Till at length with a yell,
He burst from his cell.
"From now on I'm going to be gay."
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Was sexually led far astray
By a certain old monk,
So full of spunk,
He pretty near blew her away!
--- Roy Herselman
This is file tmm
That she drowned in that stuff where she lay.
It washed her right off of the quay.
That she gagged and had nothing to say.
That she's still wearing Depends today.
--- John Miller
And was asked to describe what he felt
Upon seeing a whore
Sans the clothes she oft wore:
He said "She reminds me of milk."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Suffered flatulent fits in his panic.
He could not control
His posterior hole,
The emissions of which were volcanic.
--- Beelzebub TP9802
Once said to his abbot, "Now show me,
Just why I am here,
Isolated, austere --
Why not home with some young maid to blow me.
--- Isaac Asimov
Serve a purpose we've not yet projected.
This strict brotherhood
Might have prayers understood,
If we study what they have erected.
--- Anon
Who was seized with a carnal desire.
And the primary cause
Was the abbess' drawers,
Which were hung up to dry by the fire.
--- L0552
When soused, an alarming BACCHANT;
Then nuns he would chase
To a secluded place
And bad habits try to implant.
--- Chris Papa
If you keep caressingg nun's thighs,"
Said the irate abbot,
About Mad Monks habit,
Which had bit of his habit rise.
--- Chris Papa
Precarious Capuchin's caplet,
Could fall during fun
With that nimble nun,
And be a merkin in her laplet.
--- Daniel Ford
But most of the nuns didn't care.
They smiled, for they knew
That when they got through,
They'd find some to stoke, quite elsewhere.
--- Chris Papa
Are caring towards Sisters who're wetish.
They consider it rude
If they are not chewed,
But I wouldn't call that a fetish.
--- Anon
Whom women considered dead hunkery,
Believed only nuns
Should bear daughters and sons,
So donated his spunk to a spunkery.
--- Anon
Whose libido had been set afire
And the cause was the teeny
Reverend Mother's bikini
Spread out on the washer and dryer.
--- Arthur Deex P9011
Encountered FORTUITOUS fun;
While strolling through glade,
Connection he made
With preying lascivious nun.
--- Chris Papa
Then he picks out a nun and he prances;
With his head bowed in prayer
To a niche in his lair,
And in his retreat makes advances.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1031
Might fall for an old line, winceable,
But found after all,
That his wrought tale tall
Budged her not from virtuous principle.
--- Chris Papa
Who showed a young nun a new stunt.
On the banks of the Shannon
He attacked with his cannon,
But she withstood the brunt with her cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1064
Achieved levitation through Zen;
And with prospects of fun,
A delighted old nun
Was encouraged to whisper, "Amen!"
--- Hugh Oliver A126A
Persuaded a nun to his bunk;
But he failed to deliver
So much as a shiver,
For sadly his willy had shrunk.
--- Peter Wilkins
Her lips for a second, then burst
Out laughing, "Good gracious;
Your willy, Ignatius,
Is more like a pea than a wurst."
--- Peter Wilkins
He scandalized the whole priory.
In the midst of the Mass
He stroked a nun's ass,
And missed the Sanctus entirely.
--- Stu Lucas P9603
An ugly nun might make his day.
He never saw much
But knew where to touch
When habit was upped in foreplay.
--- Chris Papa
Who decided that he'd commit arson.
So he burned down his church,
Left his flock in the lurch,
While he fled with a bimbo named Carson.
--- Thomas A Ratliff Jr P0402
Waking up, his eyes did on flames fasten.
Burning walls on him fell.
He cried out, "This is Hell!"
He was lucky. It was only arson.
--- Rolf Loschner P0208
So-called progress is in for a shock.
We've intuitive proofs
Of a Devil with hoofs,
Which will put back the clock before Locke.
--- W J Strachan
Preaches sermons everybody felt.
You can tell at a glance
What holds up his pants:
It's the famous, well known Bible Belt.
--- Tom Patton P0206
Fell asleep in the vestry on Sunday.
He awoke with a scream,
"What! Another wet dream?
That comes of not fucking since Monday."
--- L1293
Used to fart as he said benediction.
The shy flock would smile
As they trooped down the aisle,
"The arse on our parson needs fixin'."
--- L0727
Who wiggled her ass near the parson.
Her performance extraneous
Caused combustion spontaneous,
So the parson charged Carson with arson. (arsin'?)
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1983
Looked down on all women with scorn.
Even a boy's white, fat bum
Could not make him come,
But an old man's piles gave him the horn.
--- L0462
Who talked about God and such things.
But his secret desire
Was to join a mixed choir,
With nice ladies with whom he'd have flings.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Would greet ladies with a big smile.
As each lass he blessed,
In his mind undressed,
Enjoying his thoughts all the while.
--- Chris Papa
Whose prick, although thick, was a short 'un.
To make up for this loss,
He had balls like a horse,
And never spent less that a quartern.
--- L0205
MORE