There once was a parson of Pinner,
A real disgusting old sinner;
He would fuck little boys
And play with their toys,
And suck them all off before dinner.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a parson of Pinner,
A really disgusting old sinner;
He would fuck little boys between breakfast and lunch
And when they'd recovered, he'd take the whole bunch
And suck them all off before dinner.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young laundress of Lamas,
Who invented high amorous dramas,
From the spots she espied,
Dried and hardened inside
The pants of the parson's pajamas.
--- L1461

A hot little twat name of Carson
Was fondling the knob of the parson.
Soon he burned with desire
But her cunt quenched the fire
Before he could charge her with arson.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1982

A young married woman named Nell
Was far down the highroad to hell,
When a parson named Bevin
Gave her passage to heaven,
In return for a romp in the dell.
--- Limber Limericks

A young parson professing in Vynn,
Said he thought fornication was sin.
But a girl said, "You fool!"--
Went and whipped out his tool,
Pulled her drawers off and shove his thing in.
--- G2544

The say that our parson's young daughter
Loved sex like no decent girl oughter.
But nothing she did
Stimulated her id,
Like the spanking she got when he caught her.
--- Michael Horgan

An unfortunate parson named Birch
Had a penchant for farting in church.
This caused not a few
Who sat in his pew
To go elsewhere in spiritual search.
--- Macsam

There was a young lady named Tucker,
And the parson, he tried hard to fuck her.
She said, "You gay sinner,
Instead of your dinner,
At my cunt you shall have a good sucker."
--- L0441

A booming-voiced parson, Joe Linnister,
Was indeed a most popular minister;
He threaten hell fire
On the thief and the liar,
And his flock found it gorgeously sinister.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1

"To hear what revivalists tell,
An evangelist, if he does well,
Can never relax,"
Said a parson named Max,
"Because he works to beat Hell."
--- A N Wilkins P8706

There was a gay parson of Tooting,
Whose roe he was frequently shooting.
He married a lass
With a face like my ass,
And a cunt you could put your whole foot in.

(Published 1879)
--- L0249

Our transaction, Pastor, we'll firm up.
And then we must get your worm up.
Fleet time flies
Before your eyes,
And you'll find your half-hour term up.
--- Jim Jambor P9009a

The pastor, ignoring his vows,
Made altar boys practice their bows.
And gaining admission
By their angled position,
Just slid right up there, the louse.
--- Flabbergast

At the wedding outdoors, people huddled,
Due to the rain water puddled.
Then senile Pastor Doanes
In bass, sonorous tones,
Addressed the guests, "Dearly befuddled..."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh

"Fight the good fight," the pastor requested,
"Like the boxer who cannot be bested:
In your battle with sin,
Know your blows, and you'll win."
"Blow your nose, too," the head deacon jested.
--- Jerry Nordal

"You, choirboy!" ordered the pastor,
"Come here! Rub under my plaster!"
The choirboy grinned,
Said, "I've never sinned."
He knew the tricks of his master.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"You, choirboy!" ordered the pastor,
Bring me some oil of castor!
The bishop done died
With my organ inside,
From fucking him faster and faster."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In chastising skeptics, our pastor
Claims doubting The Book brings disaster.
Says he, "There's no doubt,
That your brains will rot out,
If you keep on baiting the Master!"
--- Norm Storer

A Puritan pastor whose life
Was embittered by marital strife,
Said, "I'm down on my luck,
But I don't give a fuck."
"That's exactly the case," cried his wife.
--- Laurence Perrine P8802a

A pastor in need of some lawyers
Was arrested for dropping his drawers.
His belt then did fail
And down came the hail --
Now his body is covered with sores.
--- JR

I heard my dear pastor once say
As he knelt down and started to pray:
"Oh, my children and kin,
Renounce pleasure and sin,
Many happy returns of the Dei."
--- Harry Raech P8411

"How's your love life?" they asked Pastor Deex;
He was new in the parish at Peaks.
And he said with a smile, "I've had five without guile."
He said "Merciful Heaven, I've only had seven."
He said "Gosh, it is fine, They stand here in line.

But I've only been here for two weeks!"
--- Dom P8706

Easter Sunday a young boy, Stan Snead,
Popped a stiff one as long as a reed.
And did he turn beet red,
When Pastor Fred then said,
"He is risen. He is risen indeed!"
--- Lims For Year - 01

The pastor waxed hermeneutical,
While the lady examined her cuticle.
Asked if she agreed,
She said, "Indeed,
I've no desire to be heteroclitical."
--- Q

Preached a lewd old sky-pilot named Hoare,
In his unending efforts to score,
"Have sex with your pastor,
The better, the faster --
It's what the good Lord made you for!"
--- Armand E Singer 236

A horny old pastor named Ohm
Was finally put out to roam.
Retired, but not bored --
Soft shouts of "Sweet Lord!"
Are heard from his rooms in the home.
--- Anon

"You, choirboy!" ordered the pastor,
"On your knees! I am the master!
It is rear entry I love,"
As he put on his glove,
"For the rug, this spells a disaster!"
--- Magunda

"You! Choirboy!" ordered the pastor,
"Sing! Damn you! Sing! Oh yes! Faster!"
Your rhythm and shake
Makes my trembling loins ache!
Sing it out; I'm your lord and your master!"
--- Madcat

I asked my pastor to please review
My latest limerick on the church's pews.
His quick critique
Was not unique;
He advised that limericks I should eschew.
--- Gamer Bob

"You write limericks that prove you're depraved,
So far gone that I doubt you'll be saved."
The pastor then said,
Sadly shakinghis head,
"Your road straight to Hell's nicely paved!"
--- John Miller

"You, choirboy!" ordered the pastor,
"On your knees and pray to your Master!
Foreswear saucy tarts
With tempestuous parts.
Raise my robe! Drop your shorts! And pump faster!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

And then there's the randy old pastor,
Who'd get some young choirboy to mastur-
bate him, at the altar,
And should the lad falter,
He'd slap him and cry "Do it faster!"
--- Tiddy Ogg

This is file tlm

The sermon our Pastor Rt. Rev.
Began, may have had a rt. clev.,
But his talk, though consistant,
Kept the end so far distant
That we left since we felt he mt. nev.
--- Anon (Untermeyer) (Bibby)

Miss Master said no man outclassed her;
The pastor, past master, surpassed her.
When the pastor had passed her,
His disaster came faster;
The past master became the passed pastor.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1067

Marie, on the brink of disaster,
Went off to speak with her pastor;
She feared what he'd think
Of her troubles with drink,
But lucky for her, he was plastered.
--- Paul M Hoffman a

A pastor in need of a lawyer,
Was attempting to sue his employer.
But the judge duly warned
That if God was scorned,
He'd be stopped at the Pearly Gate's foyer.
--- Limerick Man

A bible-belt pastor, Jim Jeeter,
Found adulterous sex so much sweeter.
Caught, he waffled, "But hey!
Scripture says it's OK --
It's right here in the 'pistle of Peter.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8707

"You! Choirboy!" ordered the pastor,
"Your blowjob technique's a disaster!
Removing your hand
From the base of my gland
Will let me come deeper and faster!"
--- Blue-eyed Devil

There was a young girl in a cast,
Who had an unsavory past.
For the neighborhood pastor
Tried fucking through plaster,
And his very first fuck was his last.
--- L1144A

Since the church hired Jane, a temporary,
Her reviews have been rated exemplary.
But it presaged disaster;
She was found with the Pastor
In a compromising position, missionary.
--- Thomas G Keller P9408 a

Like Scotty and Willy et all,
Pastor Dave is just up on the wall.
He says he is right
But then posts such shite;
Just don't listen to him at all.
--- Jon Downie

There once was an Anglican pastor,
Whose maid didn't let much get past her.
She said, "When you muff-dive on
The living room divan,
Please use an anti-macassar."
--- L0420

There once was a passionate pastor
Whose feelings he never could master.
His ejaculations
Baptized congregations,
And hung from the ceiling like plaster.
--- G2451

A religious young lady named Astor
Had never reached orgasm faster
Than the night she got head,
In the rectory's bed,
In a flaming embrace with the pastor.
--- Cap'n Bean P9911

Lately I've taken to thinkin'
Why pastors sometimes fall to drinkin'.
Hundreds have woes
But only one knows
That to uplift them all, takes a Lincoln.
--- Bruce

"You, choirboy!" ordered the Pastor.
"Bend over the pew for your Master!"
He said with a moan
As he slipped him the bone,
"Now just wag your tail a bit faster!"
--- Ogden Nield

The Pastor would never admit
That he suffered from atrophied wit.
He thought that a tumor
Was a call for bright humor.
Egads!, Good grief!, What a twit!
--- Bill Doern

The pastor did a double take;
It must have been some mistake.
As he read the homily --
Here's the ANOMALY --
The worshippers were wide awake!
--- Norm

An ape hailed the Pope and said, "Hi, mate!
We're cousins, you know. It's no lie, mate."
The Pope fixed him there
With a cold haughty stare,
But asked himself, which was Primate.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408a

To the faithful Pope Pius implored
That in heaven they'll get their reward.
Then he pulled out his cock
And he said to his flock,
"Believe ye in me and the Lord."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1039

The Pope damns the high camp of rock
And men who crave others mens' cock.
Which cuts little ice
When he's spent his life
Wearing jackboots and a frock!
--- Jarmo

A wily old bishop was Gastard;
New tricks for the Pope he had mastered.
He checked the Pope's gas
With his prick up his ass,
But the pope was a bastard and passed turd.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1028

A great souvenir? No great hope.
I went in to mine my own stope.
Disguised as a Cardinal,
I costumed my cord 'n all,
And burgled a turd from the pope.
--- Anon

Your kneeling in front of the Pope,
For sainthood must be kept in scope;
The Pope gets canonical
(Which I think's ironical!)
When candidates suck on his rope.
--- Anon

The bishop no more could endure
The whores on the banks of the Ruhr,
For their cunts were depressing,
So he gave them a blessing
And the Pope checked each one to be sure.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1012

To the Pope, said the prodigal son:
"Holy Father, forgive what I've done."
Said the Pope, "It's a deal,
If you'll kindly reveal
How you stay most admired through such fun!"
--- Prof M-G TP9901a

The Pope in regalia first class,
Kissed the cunt of a nun after mass.
He judged her fair slit,
To be hairy and fit,
So smoke signals poured out of his ass.

(Colored smoke announces the election of a new Pope.)
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0997

Said the Pope to John Huss, "I'm disgusted.
Ecclesiastically you're maladjusted."
John replied, "Though you rant,
I still will not recant!"
Then spontaneously John combusted.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9912

When the Pope crossed the Rhone to taste wine,
Many minstrels thought that was just fine.
For they'd prance and they'd play
From the bridge. On the way,
The Pope chose the best from a line.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

To win the big Lotto, your chance
Is as slim as attending a dance
Where the Pope is a guest,
And he boogies with zest,
Wearing neither his skivvies nor pants.
--- Cap'n Bean

Does the Pope use the loo as we do?
And enjoy sherry wine or a brew?
Though he drinks lots of tea,
He has never said, 'pee',
But we know what he means by 'pooh-pooh'.
--- Al Willis

There was a promiscuous Primate,
Who said that, at this day and time, it
Is right to embrace
One of each faith and race
In our ecumenical climate.
--- Harold C Bibby

The pope's now down Mexico way.
I sent him this. This he did say:
"That Travis I've cursed
With an 18 inch wurst...
It'll skewer his ass one fine day."
--- Anon

The Vatican's shouting "Hooray!";
The Pope has been saved from decay!
His body's exhumed,
His face is regroomed,
And his corpse has been put on display!"
--- Cap'n Bean P0107

Whenever the trees are uprootin',
It would seem there's no refutin'.
Though there's no one there,
Does the sound fill the air?
Does the Pope fart in latin? Darn tootin!
--- Anon

The Pope is a regular guy.
If gassy...he just lets it fly.
For a couple of cents,
He'll light some incense;
If not, all the clergy will cry.
--- Jim Weaver Collection