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The Pope's "nephew" always got to the top, The crusty old Catholic Pope When you tune into Fox for the facts, The vilest of priests are collected, He's far from over the hill; (Bill Clinton Pres US 1992 - 2000 scandal)
The smoke from the chimney's not dark An old Pope was once asked by his aunt, (descant - sing, warble)
On a trip to the Vatican's Sistine Said the Pontiff, "New laws we shall pass Among the Pope's notable mourners, Refreshing my Latin in Reno, The Pope was no temporal weathervane; (long live Benedict)
A tribute to the pope might please, A Pontiff who came down from Krakow, The Pope had a brief little fling John Paul in regalia so fit, John Paul felt a pang of remorse, The Pope, who has very old hips, In a launderette I bumped into the Pope. There was a priapic old Pope. I'm confused and to me it's not clear, There once was a pope who was gay. On the Pope's pointed hat was a spot, "Oh Mother, I've something to tell Seems the pope has this problem, you see; The wealth of the Pope needs accounting -- Said the Pope, "I hope Muslims excuse, (2006 Muslims rioted over Pope saying Muslims riot)
My muse has been snorting of dope, Said the Pope to a banker in Rome, The pope dresses up in "pope style", "Spaghetti is good for the soul", I sat once upon the Pope's knee. Said the Pontiff indulging in quips, The Pope has held many high masses The Pope, with his crazy belief, There was a young lady named Hope, As his Holiness signed my petition, Said the Pope to a girl named McAllister, There was a young man of St. Giles, The conclave selected a pope Two nuns who were walking the town, B B King was the Pope's Christmas ruse There was a young lady named Heatter After scolding his penitent flock, The Pope spoke on moral decay, Next spoke the venerable Pope: On the balcony stood the Pope slick, The whore to the Pope did appeal, After failing the bishop, the Pope Sir Hillary Hagglestone Hope In Rome an old tortoise named Myrtle A man of St Edmund's House (St Edmund's House of Cambridge) (nous - mental acuity)
Young cox, in despair, on the rocks, The old pontiff was ill and he pleaded It's true that our Catholic Pope Pius's The Pope knew his desire was a sin. The old pontiff in public does gloss There was a proud pompous old Prelate, The papal knee held a young sister; After drinking a bottle of wine, The Pope caught the Cardinal pressing Walesa's the new Polack Hope, The men of the church now confess There was an old man called the Pope, Masturbation is not very smart, His Holiness said, "You must follow,
With a good job that was merely a sop.
He was really the pope's son.
The Pope liked his fun
And of progeny produced a crop.
--- Norm Brust
Charges his church has no scope
For views not doctrinal,
Since God's word is final...
But that path is a slippery slope.
--- Jarmo
Be careful; they may take them back.
The Pope was not dead;
They reported instead
Our producer has been smoking crack.
--- Anon
Then bishops, archbishops selected.
From the worst of this scum,
All the cardinals come,
And the Pope from the dregs is elected.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0998
To this day his pecker works still,
In the shower with soap.
'Cause I'll bet the pope
Gets more pussy these days than Bill!
--- Anon A
Announcing a Pope to cause sparks.
Heard Ratzo's ring-tone;
I picked up the phone
And heard God's Rottweiller bark.
--- Anon
"Greg dear, have you tried singing descant?"
The wise pontiff just sighed
And replied, "I've my pride:
And being no good at singing, I chant."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9705
Chapel, a young nun named Christine
Made a play for the pope
And after her grope,
His Holiness wasn't so pristine.
--- Anon
So that nuns can assist at high mass."
But the man was a gent,
For the guy really meant,
"So that nuns can screw boys up the ass."
--- Albin Chaplin P9505
Were figureheads flown from all corners.
Like frau Berlusconi
And murdering Mugabe...
With friends like that, who needs reformers.
--- Jarmo
I spoke with the Pope playing Keno.
Asking, "What do you think
They will serve you to drink?'
He smiled saying, "In Veritas, Vino."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9710
Courage he preached in a hopeful vein.
From Russian to French,
In all, a real mensch;
Another like him we won't get again.
--- Sanity Inspector
Like "The Passion" or similar, with ease,
But something more true,
And no need to feel blue,
I think its "Weekend at Bernies".
--- Anon
Thought morals, folks had distinct lack of,
Soo he spread AIDS by banning
All family planning,
And saying that no one could whack off.
--- Jarmo
With a dildo he called Bishop Zing.
But after his reaming,
He found it unseeming;
He asked it to please kiss his ring.
--- Kristen Coughlin T9711
Went to Poland to visit a bit.
His dear land he had missed,
So the good earth he kissed,
Where a canine had thoughtfully shit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1018
So he set for his Poland a course.
There he kissed the good earth
Of the land of his birth,
But ran into the turd of a horse.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1077
Can't bend down, on arrival, on trips.
But his urge to kiss ground
Has remained so profound,
They instead raise the Earth to his lips!
--- Prof M-G
He said: "I have given up hope."
He simply lay in the aisle
With a faraway smile,
While we hit him with soap-on-a-rope.
--- Kevin Hale Q
Laid hands on each novice with hope.
He said, "Peter's dome
Provides a good home--
Provided you offer me scope."
--- Harold C Bibby
Why, in spite of brocaded headgear,
Festooned with long tresses
And the fact he wears dresses,
The Pope was named, "Man Of The Year"?
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9502 a
He would ride down the Appian Way,
And wink at the ladies
From his little Mercedes,
Which he'd nicknamed his auto da fe.
--- Anon
Which the Pontiff detested a lot.
But from what I have gleaned
When asked, "Want it cleaned?"
He replied, "I mitre might not."
--- Loren Fitzhugh
You; I'm pregnant." "You're pregnant? Oh hell.
So am I, my dear child;
Why, that party was wild;
Did the Pope screw your sister as well?"
--- Anon
In the night he makes so much wee-wee,
The sisters who've been in
Charge of his linen,
Took to calling him "Il Pipi."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He adds to world woes that are mounting.
As he goes to his hoard
Where his bullion is stored,
And there daily he blesses those counting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0961
'Mistranslations' they've heard on the news;
The error was mine;
To forgive is divine.
I of course really meant to say Jews."
--- David Miller
And told me she's gonna elope,
To Vatican City,
And there flash a titty,
In order to roger the Pope.
--- Anon
"St. Pete's needs a new gilded dome,
The Swiss guards are bitter,
I need a new litter,
And my bedroom is colder than Nome."
--- Giandomeni & Christ P8908
And sits on a chair for awhile.
He then waves us a blessing,
But its damn distressing;
The poor guy will not crack a smile!
--- Travis Brasell
The Italian said to the Pole.
"So I'm pasta my prime,"
Said the Pope, "Well it's time
I retired and left you in control."
--- Peter Wilkins
He offered three wishes to me.
My first was a probe
Beneath his white robe --
There weren't nuthin' there but a goatee!
--- Anon
"With my problems I've now come to grips.
There are those wish me dead,
'On my last legs' they said --
When the truth is I'm on my last hips."
--- Phil Cannibal P9408
This is file tkm
For believers of all creeds and classes,
But he gains greatest fame
And enhances his name
For his bursts of intestinal gases.
--- Albin Chaplin
Gives horny young priests plenty grief.
He says, "Wipe that smirk off,
To your cell now and jerk-off."
And that's known as Pastoral Relief.
--- Theo Heller P9312
Condemned by the Bishop of Stope.
Her most sinful behavior
Was an affront to our Savior,
Until personally tried by the pope.
--- Albin Chaplin
He said, "I take this position:
Here shines a clean mind,
For nowhere do I find,
A single lubricious omission!"
--- L1512
"I doubt if you can make my phallus stir."
But she showed that in Texas,
With her bare solar plexus,
She could make every phallus in Dallas stir.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2176
Who walked thousands and thousands of miles,
From the Cape of Good Hope,
Just to bugger the Pope,
But he couldn't, the Pontiff had piles.
--- Anon
Who won't slide down that slippery slope.
So it seems, Cardinal No
Keeping doctrine in tow,
Will be known now as "Pope of the Nope."
--- Limerick Savant
Were stopped by a man in a gown.
They said, "You can't buy us
Even if you're Pope Pius."
He said, "That's who I am, so lay down."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1101
To lure souls in to fill empty pews.
At the show, yonder star
Gave John Paul his guitar...
But can Popes, who are soul guys, play blues?
--- Prof M-G T9712
Who learned that religion was sweeter.
In the pope's private room,
She found out about doom
And then also the powers of Peter.
--- Albin Chaplin a
The pontif exhorted his cock,
"You pendulous shrimp!
You just dangle there, limp.
You're supposed to be Peter, a Rock."
--- Anon
With a nun to exhibit the lay:
"Lay the bitch on her back --
Shove your prick up her crack;
By God, there is no other way!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1001
"In my youth I learned how to grope.
Now, though old and infirm,
I still seek the worm
That hides 'neath the chorister's cope.
--- G1049
To display to the faithful a trick.
Every Christmas and Easter
He would show them his keester,
But today he would show them his prick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1088
"Save my soul -- before Christ I will kneel."
Said the Pope to the whore,
"You may go -- sin no more.
But be sure when you fuck, it's for real."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0964
Looked down at his cock without hope.
It would no longer rise
And he said, "I surmise
That I'm now at the end of my rope."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1070
Developed a salvation soap.
If one bathed twice a day,
It washed all sins away,
And Catholics could give up the Pope.
--- Warrick Elrod a
Was in prison for stealing a girdle.
Then the Vatican City
Agreed to have pity.
The headlines read: "Pope Springs a Turtle!"
--- S M Polonsky.
Was sadly deficient in nous.
When received by the Pope,
He expressed the warm hope
That all was quite well with his spouse.
--- Harold C Bibby A
Received aid from the parish Poor Box.
Said the Pope, much impressed,
"May this parish be blessed
For providing the succor for Cox."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2267A
To the Mother Superior who heeded.
So she lifted the gown
Of the pope and went down,
And she gave him the succor he needed.
--- Albin Chaplin
Worst fear is acute thrombidiasis;
Moaned the man, "It's a bitch,
There's this Godawful itch.
I swear it's not one of my biases."
--- Armand Singer P0402
"I'll fulfill it!" he vowed with chagrin.
So he prayed to St Paul if
He might go to Mount Olive...
But Popeye about did him in.
--- Don Moore P9008a
And exhibits the corpse of his boss.
It would suit his behavior
If, instead of his savior,
He displayed a dead cat on the cross.
--- Al Chaplin P0302
Who said, on arriving in hell, "It
Is quite a disgrace
That I have to face
The final tribunal-appellate."
--- Harold C Bibby
While sitting, she did quite a twister.
But then the conclave
Banned all parts concave;
This Pope has become a resister.
--- Anon
The Pope shouted: "Your place or mine?"
I said, "I'll give a call,"
So he wrote on the wall
His phone number -- VAT 69!
--- Bill Wall
His eye to the keyhole of dressing
Rooms used by the altar
Boys. "Holy Gibralter!"
The Pope screamed, "Let me see the blessing!"
--- Travis Brasell
While the communists fumble and grope.
And their countrymen cheer
Their new leader so dear,
As he kisses the ass of the Pope!
--- Phil Cannibal P8908
The subject of sex is a mess.
What can we expect
When the pope they elect,
Goes walking around in a dress!
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0302
Whose sex life was one without hope.
Though continually urgin'
To come in a virgin,
All he got was a snog and a grope.
--- Lester Haines
And the pope explained why on his chart,
But he took no position
On nocturnal emission,
Where the hand of the Lord plays a part.
--- Albin Chaplin
And not think that my reasoning's hollow.
If natural law
Should make you a Ma,
Why that is a pill you must swallow."
--- Casey Renn P8702
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