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A regular satyr was he Then on he did go to old Thrace Now Northward our Don Juan proceeded In Berlin he arose to great feats. In Holland the females grew fat In Stockholm he really fared well, Then in Oslo he hefted his clout, In Scotland he flipped up his kilt On to Ireland for one final fling At last he arrived home in Bath, Just one word of warning, Beware! A ferocious young plumber of Boulder There once was a fellow named Hector There once was a man named Tony; He crawled out and came right back in; Young Cupid has thrown me a dart, I've forgotten that fraulein, my dear; Sex lessons for kids is bad news An alien just in from Venus You know why the men name their pricks, There was a young woman named Pearl My cock has a half of a twist A young man up in Millinocket, An impotent man in Port Credit An inquisitive harlot named Strensall -- There once was an old man from Bristol, A talented 'frotteur' from France For all the girls who are nifty, The most popular saint ever anointed Let her show you the ancient art A man with a prostate disorder A man by the name of Becker, But surely such screwing and drilling A frustrated fellow was Vince; There was an old man of Dundee My prick's been improved with a graft. I have a divining dick; A dude with a rather large dick, I didn't mind the ladies in frocks A very old man, baker Reese, (Yea and we'll rise again - McW)
A famous old tale from Devizes Before boffing, a fellow had oughter What a lotion is ginger and honey! Wash your manhood until it turns red; Other lotions, he says can't go wrong; 'Nother hint: boil a jackass's dick; From the Sheikh we can all now be sure; There once was a fellow named Jock, So flesh-colored duct tape's the rage A cod-piecey dancer named Cox An elder of old Halifax If you wish to enliven your pecker, Bea loved her sailor from Brest. Bea was loving her sailor from Brest That anchor-donged sailor from Brest, Insatiable horny young Dawn Then into the breach stepped old Pete A young gal from Vegas, named Sue, That Sue's made a fool out of you Her reason for telling the lie Whenever young Sue's in the mood, There was a magician named Jack There was a young artist named Bruce, A honeymooning radiologist named Clarke, There once was a man named Bill Gower, His dick lay in peaceful quiescence. A luscious, lewd negress named Zoe
As he bedded each maiden with glee.
It was all Saturnalia,
And no semper fidelia.
Boccaccio rolled in his grave with envy.
--- June Sullivan P8408
In his efforts on behalf of the race.
He wooed 'em and screwed 'em
And sometimes tattooed 'em
And left a broad smile on each face.
--- June Sullivan P8408
To see where his talents were needed.
They loved him in Bucharest,
He loved them in Budapest.
He breeded and breeded and breeded!
--- June Sullivan P8408
He thought Unter der Linden meant under the sheets.
"Linden" or "Linen", whatever,
The fraus thought him clever.
They were replete with his sexual treats.
--- June Sullivan P8408
As begat and begat and begat.
He insured, with begotten,
That he won't be forgotten
When he finally hangs up his hat.
--- June Sullivan P8408
Extending honors to each native belle.
They all vied to mate him,
And accomodate him,
In that land that has no parallel.
--- June Sullivan P8408
Relieving their sexual drought.
But he packed it all in
And left with a grin,
Before Customs told him, "Get Out!"
--- June Sullivan P8408
And positioned each maiden atilt.
The ire of the Thane
Was, alas, all in vain.
Lord Gor's trip did not include guilt.
--- June Sullivan P8408
Before he'd extinguished his thing.
Begor, Lord of Gor,
What a score! What a score!
As he wound and rewound his mainspring.
--- June Sullivan P8408
Leaving a trail of masculine wrath.
He'd given "Grand Tour"
A new meaning and more,
Left a generation of Gor Aftermath.
--- June Sullivan P8408
As Gor recoups in his ancestral lair,
He is eyeing the States
And figuring dates
For a romp from New York to Belair.
--- June Sullivan P8408
Argued hotly, his girl had grown colder,
And in making his point
He created a joint
By annointing his foreskin with solder.
--- Hugh Oliver A027A
Whose tool had a sector-trajector,
To correct for the mass,
And the heat of the ass,
And the bore and the stroke and the vector.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2601A
The bulge in his pants looked so phoney.
When she reached down inside
To play with his pride,
She removed Oscar Meyer bologna.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He knew I loved his special sin.
It's obvious because
He comes without pause,
And his cock has a corkscrew fin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Though I don't feel it piercing my heart;
But it's filled me with lust,
So I think that it must
Have been aimed at my sensitive part.
--- Peter Wilkins
Now I've licked all the rhyme from your rear.
Will those tricks that you mention
Increase my extension,
And double the size of my spear?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When Sue said boy's dicks come in two's:
Dad's a small one to piss,
And a BIG one, like this ::::::::D
To brush all my teeth while he screws.
--- David Miller
Had an eye on the tip of his penis.
The gals cried, "Amazing,
This intimate gazing,
A heavenly ocular genius!"
--- RGCPJC TP9806
Calling them Johnson, Peter, or Dick?
'Cause they can't abide
That stranger that hides,
In their pants calling shots double quick.
--- Anon
Who became the world's happiest girl
With a man, on a binge,
Whose tool had a hinge,
So he not only pumped, but could twirl.
--- Isaac Asimov
Which helps satiffy, I insist.
The pseudo rotation
Produces sensation
Like the very first time it got kissed.
--- John Miller
Kept a spare dick in his pocket.
You may think it odd,
To have such a cod,
But he had an interchangeable socket.
--- Anon
Used shot in his pencil to lead it.
He enjoyed a few fucks
With some upended ducks,
But drew blanks with the ladies, who fled it.
--- Hugh Oliver 62c
After sampling the plumber's utensil,
To the factory went she,
There determined to see
How the lead was put into the pencil.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1671
Whose dick acted just like a pistol.
And it would go off
Every time he would cough;
A machine gun when he would whistle.
--- Jeff
Had singular nerves in his glans.
With one casual trail
He would learn each detail
Of the size, shape, and taste in gal's pants.
--- G0333
Here's plight of a lad called "Swifty",
His rod lacked the lubes
To penetrate pubes,
So he used a bit of Slick-50.
--- Connie Lingus
Had a tool that was centrally jointed.
The effect of the flexion
In his weapon's midsection
Left none of the girls disappointed.
--- Steve Pridgeon
Of folding, on your stiffy part.
She'll make your tackle
A crested grackle.
Whatever you do, please don't fart.
--- Ericka
Had difficulty passing his water,
'Til his tube was reamed out;
And now out the spout,
It's coming out more like it oughter.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
He had a rotating pecker.
Every time he'd fuck,
The funny old cock
Turned into a Black and Decker.
--- Martin V Jensen
Are just what the ladies find thrilling;
Wouldn't you like the knack
With your Decker and Black
To ensure that your tool is fulfilling?
--- Peter Wilkins
This is file sll
His girl took too long to convince.
When at last she agreed,
They could only proceed
With a roll of Scotch tape and some splints.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0371
Whose pecker was shaped like a key!
Said he, "If gals peeholes
Were all shaped like keyholes,
What a helluva world this would be."
--- Grand Prix Lim 745 G0316
It's craftily hid in the shaft.
It's got laser sighting
And GPS guiding,
But still aims a little bit aft.
--- Anon
It performs its own little trick.
It always knows
Which way the wind blows,
Whenever there's pussy to stick.
--- MrMalo
Requests all his girlfriends to stick
Some soap on its top
So he later can mop
The mess from their missing a lick.
--- Hugh Clary
But the men, I'm afraid gave me shocks.
In the tightest of tights
Under theater lights;
Had they no other place for their socks?
--- Anon
Approaching his hour of decease,
With Death at his door,
"Please, Nursie, once more,
Please sprinkle my dinkie with yeast.
--- Irving Superior P8303
Concerns any quote of great prizes.
If you give tit for tat,
Or just any thing that
Can befit a good staff of two sizes.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9005
Rub his engine a bit in warm water;
Mix up ginger and honey;
Rub it in real good, sonny;
Your love-pump will grow for the slaughter!
--- Anon
The Sheikh swears by it; it's not funny!;
This strange, spicy powder
Helps you joyfully crowd her,
With a monster to thrill any bunny!
--- Anon
Take soft leather, with hot pitch well spread;
Envelop your tool;
And then let it cool;
Repeat 'till it looks quite well fed!
--- Anon
Pureed leeches, heat treated 'till strong;
Rub it on without fail;
Soon your lady will wail,
When she feels your magnificent dong!
--- Anon
'Long with corn and some onions, real slick;
Feed that meal to the chickens;
Which you eat; your tool thickens
To such size that the girls get love-sick!
--- Anon
P.U.D. no one has to endure;
For the gents around here
There's no problem, I hear;
Carry on, stout lads; vive l'amour!
--- Anon
With a most insatiable cock.
His wife, so I hear,
Out of cruelty or fear
Keeps it under a chain and a lock.
--- Phil T
In this gravity war we all wage?
Then I'll tape up my dong
'Cause it's dragging along
On the floor now, because of my age.
--- Anon
Seemed to have balls big as rocks;
When he did play
His tights split, oy vey!
The stage was all covered in socks.
--- Tutta Gioia
Would bolster his weapon with wax,
For his wife, in the main,
So she wouldn't complain,
If he should prematurely relax.
--- Keith MacMillan 26a
And you use electric power as erector,
Making 110 volts
Barely gives it a jolt.
220's a fine pecker wrecker.
--- Anon
When she finally gave him a rest,
She carved his wanker
In the shape of an anchor.
She was diagnosed Seamen Obsessed.
--- Annie Jay
When a monster wave hit from the west.
She grabbed his wanker
Shaped like an anchor,
Said, "Drop it! We'll ride out the crest!"
--- Annie Jay
Agreed that dear Bea was the best,
But realized too late,
If she'd shaped it straight,
His dick would have reached to his chest.
--- Frank Fazed
Screwed her lover from five in the morn
Through midnight each day
Till he faded away,
With his dongle all tattered and torn.
--- Peter Wilkins
With his infamous meter of meat.
And he hammered it in
With a devilish grin,
'Til she fainted with pleasure, replete.
--- Peter Wilkins
Once discovered a dick that was blue.
Ever since, all for science,
She'd check for compliance.
(He should have told 'twas a tattoo.)
--- Anon
With regards to the dick that was blue.
The past tense of blow
Is blew, doncha know,
And that's what she did... without you!
--- Anon
About standards to which we comply?
The lass was in fear
That you'd whack her rear
For 'checking' a guy such as I!
--- Anon
She puts up a sign "sex for food."
The ravenous miss
Says sex is such bliss,
When a dude shares his food in the nude!
--- Anon
Whose prick had an uncommon knack.
He could fit any cunt,
Whether fat, tall or runt,
And change color to suit white or black.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0486
Who was renowned for being obtuse.
He painted his head
A dark crimson red
And his testicles purple and puce.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Thought radiation safety a lark.
To his virgin bride's delight,
She had no problems that night,
Finding his glowing cock in the dark!
--- Laurence Craft
Who worked in a nuclear tower.
Girls thought it a lark;
His dick glowed in the dark,
And he fucked with so damn much power.
--- Laurence Craft
He longed though for youthful tumescence.
An electric connection,
Sparked a brilliant erection,
That shines with an awesome fluorescence.
--- Bob Birch P9809
Had hardened the prick of her beau.
She said, "Though it pinches,
I'll take all twelve inches.
Come on, Honey, slip me Ol' Black Joe!"
--- G0498
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