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There once was this woman named Brown, Miss Muffet undressed near a spider, There once was this girl named Stubb, "It is nice when a young lady has tea." There was a young lady of Bister, There was a young fellow named Bister How well her lover was hung, Samantha is leaving to brighten A young senorita named Torias I once had a lover named M If girls, you don't come, as a rule, Fair Ann of the creamy complexion, Joe's erection in Anne's wet twat, No, iron just my pulsating rod; That isn't the best I can do. There once was a lady of Corning A mother of ten was quite shocked An hour or so later, I fear, He whispered, "Oh, please tell me, dear, A frustrated chap from Cape Cod There was a man named Gielgud; A lady who lived near the Lenz, Said woman to lover, "Just why, Max? It's neither her snatch or her tits, There is a girl that I know, Young Debbie has fun in the shower Of Deb's 'shower fun' there's no doubt, I once laid a lady from Leek At the start of her climax, while screwing, A petulant cockster named Rhee An eager nymphette, Sally Dellens, Now as a mere man I believe, "My cocoon," she said, "comes with a hook In bed with his girlfriend, young Victor Punctuality isn't a trait A young girl from old County Dade, The girls who want to come quick, I was coupling a girl in Hobbema Last Saturday Sue came to call; There was a young girl from Fort Ord Her coming was such a good feeling, A demanding young lady from Boone In a field, in the sun, Black-eyed Susan Don't guys all envy the chick, A star-crossed young lover named Hearst Can't quench the insatiable thirst; Dem folks in Tahiti is coised This nympho had a frustration, Right here up against my big balls, A woman from Gloucester named Dees I saw your pink petals were twitchin', The best way to read Conan Doyle, Well now, I just think you should know, Hear the tale of a lady named Link, A passionate girl on the Shannon A spinster in Chasuable Chasm (pleonasm - redundancy)
No matter, when getting a boff Lascivious Kate never rushes; She frigs herself morning and night There was a young girl from the Amazon Tell me girls, what's it like to orgasm, A pretty young Aussie named Tanya, Your flesh is so quickly provoked, There once was a lady named Shirley When failure was one of my scares, "If you can't make her come, you're a dud!"
While bathing, had a feeling profound.
She actively rubbed
Her little pink nub;
Reached her peak! Went so weak! Damn near drowned!
--- Laurence Craft
Who decided to crawl up inside her.
He wiggled and jiggled,
But Miss Muffet just giggled,
Then her expression grew wider and wider.
--- Actaeon
Who fingered herself off in the tub.
One day she climaxed,
Became so relaxed,
The last thing she uttered was, "Glub-blub!"
--- Laurence Craft
Said Jane, "Though it may be past tea,
These revels and spasms
Of tealess orgasms
End up, I'm afraid, being nasty."
--- Isaac Asimov
Who was nicer by far than her sister.
The sister would giggle
And wiggle and jiggle,
But this one would come if you kissed her.
--- L0007
Who fucked Miss Laporte and her sister.
When he fucked Miss Laporte,
'Twas a marathon sport,
But her sister would come when he kissed her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0049
Was oft on the tip of her tongue.
But she'd not kiss and tell
When the dong rang her bell,
Though her bell never did go unrung.
--- Greg Schindler P8903
The lives of the people in Huyton;
All the boys that she knows
Will be sad when she goes--
When she comes it is really excitin'.
--- Michael Horgan
Couldn't find her tiny clitorious.
It was so small to feel,
A hit or miss deal,
But once finding it made her feel glorious.
--- Laurence Craft
Who gave the most excellent trim.
She too, I would please;
She could come with great ease --
My fingers and tongue up her quim.
--- H Welchel
Because your guy pulls out his tool,
And leaves you there, flat,
You will climax at
Professor Trav's Finishing School.
--- Travis Brasell
When impaled on a gent's firm erection,
First would smile and would sigh
Then would moan and would cry,
Till rosy became her reflection.
--- Joe Long
Has made her fair cheeks glowing hot;
"Though better'n a jerk,
Let her head do the work;
Who cares if girls have one or not.
--- David Miller
I'm sure you'll enjoy getting prod.
The electrical field
Gets gallons of yield,
As the women come screaming, "Oh Gawwwwwd!"
--- Anon
For now, it will just have to do.
I could make you wail
When the batteries fail.
I loved it. Was it good for you?
--- Frank Fazed
Who would climax without any warning;
But delay it she could,
And was she ever good,
If aroused at five in the morning.
--- Keith MacMillan A085D
When her small boys and girls, in pairs locked
In a bedroom embrace,
Made her cry, "A disgrace
For you girls to then go off half-cocked!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 436
You'll be screaming for mercy, my dear.
You'll succumb to my plumbing
By creaming and coming,
While gripping the length of my spear.
--- Anon
When you feel your climax draw near."
"That's so sweet," she said
From her side of the bed
"And I'd love to, but you're never here."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9003A
Believes in a feminine God.
Each time his wife has a m-
Ultiple orgasm,
He only get one, the poor sod.
--- CeeJay
His sole aim in life was to feel good.
From a balcony row
A lady yelled "Go!"
He succeeded, it seems, but real good.
--- Jim Jambor P9012
Had orgasms short but intense.
One day, getting tongued,
She was so highly strunged,
That she kicked me right over the fence.
--- Anon
Why can't you do more to stay dry, Max?
I hate early spurters,
You premature squirters --
Now damn it, hold back till I climax!"
--- Armand E Singer 530
For I get all my thrills, I admits,
If my lady gets pleasure
In similar measure,
To me, when I see to her bits.
--- Anon
Who loves urinating so,
That when she has to,
She runs to the loo,
And there she just comes, as she goes.
--- Hugh Clary
With the water-jet spray on full power.
For it sets her aglow
When she aims it below,
And she orgasms hour after hour.
--- Peter Wilkins
She will stay in for days -- won't come out;
The town's reservoir level
Has gone down to the devil,
And her orgasmic binge caused a drought.
--- Travis Brasell
Whose sexual repsonses were weak;
At the height of orgam,
She gave one small spasm
And a barely perceptible squeak. \
--- Michael Horgan
The phone rang...Cried panting Sue Ewing
"That must be my date
For tonight...the dope's late...
But PLEASE, Joe, keep on what you're doing.
--- Grand Prix Lim 70
Complained `bout his girlfriend, Ms Bea.
"She's cold as a rod,
It matches her bod;
Tomorrow never comes, nor does she."
--- Armand Singer
Grabbed the boys with moanin's and yellin's.
If they tickled her bum
She wouldn't just come,
She'd erupt like Mt. St. Helens.
--- Ed Wolfert P8302
A multiple orgasmic heave,
i.e. second coming,
When fixing her plumbing,
Is woefully hard to achieve.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That hangs in each cranny and crook.
Getting it off
Requires a brisk boff;
They don't always come by the book."
This is file sil
First necked her, then licked her, then dicked her.
Then tickled and stroked her,
And tweaked her, and poked her,
Till she climaxed at 9 on the Richter.
--- Jerry Nordal P0301
To take lightly when on a first date.
By thoughtfully priming
Her orgasm's timing,
She can save him from having to wait.
--- Alex Heydon P0501
Said, "I think it's time I got laid.
My vibrator can tingle,
But it's not cunnilingual,
And that's how orgasms are made."
--- Stan
Use fingers or a similar trick.
Though they reach an orgasm,
Nothing rivals the spasm
Brought about by a real gentle dick.
--- Dirruk
When her breasts showed a mild erythema.
"That tells you she's gone, son,"
Said Masters and Johnson,
"Your turn to have fun - she's a screama!"
--- Jemstone P0109
She really has no shame at all.
She said, "Though I like
To come on my bike,
I come on your cock best of all!"
--- Michael Horgan
Who found herself frequently bored.
She fondled her titty
While rubbing her clitty
Until she orgasmically scored.
--- Bob Leclerc
Her moaning had turned into squealing;
The pitch was so high
And so loud did she cry
That it peeled the paint off the ceiling!
--- Cap'n Bean P9808a
Intimated her coming quite soon,
Which brought some relief
To her consort beneath,
Who'd been up her the whole afternoon.
--- Hugh Oliver A049A
Made love in the way of her choose'n.
She close up her eyes,
But to my surprise,
She came seven times gently snoozin'.
--- John Miller
Her G-hole, and quarter-inch dick?
She comes several times,
While to one shot he climbs,
Then she laughs at him in the chick clique.
--- H Welchel
Thought he must be specially cursed.
He could pump like a stud
Till he sweats drops of blood --
His love, every time, would come first.
--- Armand E Singer 403
All guys want their pee-pees well nursed.
So I always insist,
Before I will assist,
At my leisure, it's me that comes first.
--- Anon
By a climate both heated and moist;
Perspiring so bad,
It's no wonder da lad
Is rarely da one what comes foist.
--- Norm Storer
Whenever she got that sensation
Of climaxing at last,
She'd breathe so damn fast,
She'd pass-out from hyperventilation.
--- Laurence Craft
As my cock rubs the length of your walls,
Absorbing the oils;
Enjoying love's spoils,
As you shriek out delightful loud calls.
--- Anon
Had rather a shattering sneeze.
It would come with a blast
And when at last it passed,
Gone were houses and castles and trees.
--- Warrick Elrod
So I gave you something for itchin'.
My nice long big scratcher
Sent you into rapture;
Now that you're orgasmic, stop bitchin'!
--- Jon Gearhart
Is sitting astride Katie Boyle.
When she cries "Thar she blow!"
That the moment to go.
There are some things from which I recoil.
--- Kevin Hale
I wondered how far I could go.
Though I stifled my moans,
And held back on my groans,
I came thirty times in a row!
--- Phil T
Who was hotter to trot than a mink.
But contractual spasms
And two-second orgasms
Made her less fun to fuck than you'd think.
--- Armand E Singer 171
Said, "Here's why I spend my time mannin':
If you twiddle my clit
While you slipping me it,
I go off like a twenty-ton cannon!"
--- G2204
Is gifted with double orgasm.
She comes once on your gland,
Then again in your hand,
Which (in grammar) is called pleonasm.
--- G2291
I've found (Please refrain from your scoff!)
A hair-raising stunt,
While deep in their cunt,
Does wonders at getting them off.
She frigs 'til she's hot, wet and luscious;
Then as she orgasms
In multiple spasms,
She quivers and whimpers and blushes.
--- Anon
While I watch her in lustful delight;
Then she spreads her legs wide
As she guides me inside...
Then my dream fades away out of sight.
--- Anon
Preparing to put her pajamas on,
When she had an orgasm,
And out of her chasm --
Well, she had to put her mama's on.
--- G2075
With a man deep inside your love chasm,
'Cause my vibrating thumb
On my virginal plum
Caused a feeling like sphincteral spasm.
--- Anon
Had an orgasm eating lasagna.
Said her Mum, "What a kick!
Some may say it was sick!
But if that does the trick, then good on ya!"
--- David M Smith
That soon as it's touched, much less stroked,
You come to a climax,
(I've checked with my Timex)
Before you have even been poked.
--- Armand Singer
Whose pussy was all nice and curly.
She'd sit and she'd spin
When a dick was put in,
And she came in a manner most whirly.
--- Jeanie
I asked a man of affairs,
"What's a good rule of thumb
To make a blonde come?"
And Charley responded, "Who cares?"
--- John Miller
I proclaimed, while still pulling my pud.
So how did I do
On my very first screw?
She never stopped chewing her cud!
--- John Miller
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