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"I keep a cocotte in my cave; In trying his senses to save, There once was a hermit named Dave, That fellow who kept a dead whore His "dead whore" was declared null and void, Recession? Let's run to the cave At a funeral at Lytchett Matraver, A familiar face, "Hello, Dave. There was an old limerick 'bout Dave When the hermit, Dave, died in his cave, There was a dead whore in a cave, The lonely old outcast, Delanty, "Come to my clean cave, quite spacious, There was an old hermit named Dave, There once was a hermit named Ted A tailor, who's good with his thread, An Inuit fellow named Lou A dyke named Dave, from Khartoum A whore, once a New York sensation, There once was a man of Delray Old Dave's quiet friend is plain cold; There is a young fellow called Dave A hermit named Dave in Nantucket, The hermit we've heard of named Dave A hermit, whose name was Dave Skinner, There once was a young man named Dave, A HOARY old whore had a hunch The dead whore that was kept in the cave Dave's dead now himself (of a cough) Though admission fees he'd wildly waive, You can read of a fellow named Dave So this hermit Dave, plowing his trench, There once was a hermit named Ted, Dave sure goes 'round and 'round, There was an old hermit named Dave, There once was a hermit named Dave An old lady who lived in a cave, Hermit Dave was a GRISLY ghoul, There once was a LEVERET named Dave When Dave had ERSTWHILE worn habit, A cretin who lived in an attic, There once was a hermit named Dave I think I remember that knave, A doddering derelict Dave Though Dave's gone to hell, still that whore Our friend Hermit Dave, TROGLODYTE, There once was a hermit named Jack As hermit Dave's lust is incessant, BUT: Back to respond to dear Dave We all know why Dave was so willin' Dave lives in a cave in Nantucket A seclusionist kept in his hut Our Dave has been sent to Siberia; The man from Nantucket was brave There was an old trapper named Dave "Girls, black, brown, pink, yellow or blue, That news item you may think grave; He made music wherever he went, Every man must define what his bliss is. Dave's wife just never forgave When trying to rhyme OSSUARY, I thought that my thoughts would deprave There was an old hermit named Dave, It's sad but it's true I must say, Depressed by undersized genitalia? There was an old hermit named Dave, Now folks, plase don't think I am cross,
It's how I prefer to behave.
It's not an outrage
At our great old age;
I'm anile retentive," said Dave.
--- Nick
Visitor to Hermit Dave's cave,
Sought some relief cosmic,
Going ANOSMIC,
Ere smell there drove him to his grave.
--- Chris Papa
Who kept fauna deceased in his cave.
His actions, termed Davian,
Both Citellus and avian,
Brought both fortune and fame to this knave.
--- Arthur Deex
In his cave, I suppose on the floor:
True, he'd save lots of money,
But what good's a dead honey,
'Cause her blowjobs ain't shit anymore.
--- Katie Frame A
And now Jeeves seems rather annoyed
At the Sage, who is wise
Because once a whore dies,
She is something most people avoid...
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And hide with that dead whore and Dave!
Those crud racist "guff's"
Say history buffs
Will lead to a huge tidal wave!
--- Anon
This Dave saw the corpse, said I'll have 'er.
So he opened the grave,
Took her back to his cave,
And happily boffed the cadaver.
--- Anon
Invite me around to your cave?"
"If you are after my whore,
She ain't there any more.
She's dead and buried by the Sage!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And the whore that he kept in his cave;
We've read it so often
That we bought her a coffin,
And lowered her into the grave.
--- Anon
In Nantucket they dug him a grave;
The dead whore's in there, too;
Look! They're sticking like glue!
Folks said "Fuckit! That's downright depraved!"
--- Anon
Who was killed by that Hermit named Dave.
He said I'll admit
I'm a bit of a shit,
But the cave must do for her grave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Kept an adultress' stiff in his shanty.
He said, "Barring the reek,
What I spent in a week
Compared to a live one is scanty."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8712b
Where I'll be your dinner host, gracious."
But the lady took stock
Of the bulge in Dave's frock,
"Sorry to be CONTUMACIOUS."
--- Chris Papa
Who kept a dead mower in his cave.
Since he can't cut the grass,
Now it's up to his ass.
(His donkey, you censors: behave!)
--- Cyber Geezer N
Who kept a dead whore in his shed.
She was covered with flies
And had worms in her eyes,
But at least she didn't have to be fed.
--- RMMMS N
Was hired by a fellow named Fred,
To sew up the skin
On his closest of kin,
Who, for twenty-four years, had been dead.
--- Cap'n Bean
Kept a dead whore in his igloo.
She had a cold rump
And she tended to thump,
When they did as the Inuit do.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Keeps a dead whore in her room.
Lightning shot out her ass
While on the Cape with her lass;
Now the Nantucket man's in his tomb!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Grew tired of such quick penetration,
So she kept a dead Dave
In the back of a cave,
Whom she serviced without compensation.
--- Anon
Who dined with a lady each day.
He said, "I admit
That her charm and her wit
Make it worth every penny I pay.
--- David Finely P9712
Won't warm to his love, I've been told.
The DIRIMENT factor,
Why he hasn't sacked her:
She's no whiner, no nag and no scold.
--- Elois
Who keeps a dead horse in his cave.
It smells worse than shit,
But his neighbors admit
That his goulash is what they all crave!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Could not reach his ear for to fuck it.
Not being into Sodom,
He went out and got 'im
A whore, who had kicked the bucket.
--- MrMalo
Of gloryholes always would rave.
He liked to get blown
By sailors he'd known,
So he kept a head door in his cave.
--- Anon
Invited a whore home to dinner.
But she died in his cave,
So his money he saved,
And he spent the whole evening within her.
--- Anon
Who found a dead whore in his cave.
He said, "How disgusting!
She needs only dusting,
And look at the money I'd save!"
--- Stuart Price
That though she liked sex with a bunch,
A date she'd soon save
For Dave in his cave,
Where she would serve well in a crunch.
--- Chris Papa
Finally got too smelly for Dave.
So he sold her to Pete
In the cave down the street,
And dug up a new one from a grave!
--- Thunderwing
But he and Dot still like to boff.
Since his pecker's decaying
While eating or playing,
It isn't too hard to get off.
--- John Miller
Visitors to hermit Dave's cave
Were thoroughly shocked
As he went unfrocked,
Behaving as an ERRANT knave.
--- Chris Papa
With a corpse for a sexaul slave.
You will see lots of shit
Like a girl with one tit.
It's a ride for the bold and the brave.
--- Bob Leclerc
In dead whores we find now is French.
As some will tell,
Frogs lack sense of smell,
Which explains why they don't mind the stench.
--- Anon
Who blew up a girl on his bed.
Now she had just one tit
And her pelvis was split,
But they say she still gave him good head.
--- RMMMS Z
This is file sfm
So often that it's worn to the ground.
They say Dave's a hermit
And you've got to admit,
For a hermit he sure gets around.
--- Kathi Webster
Who kept a dead goat in his cave.
"He smells like bejeezus,
But she does as I pleases;
I just wish the damn thing would shave!"
--- MrMalo
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
To fuck her was spooky,
But why leave good nooky
To rot in a mouldering grave.
--- MrMalo
Was hit on the head with a stave.
As her blood did clot,
She had her last thought:
"Oh boy! Now I'm going to meet Dave!"
--- Buck
Aroused by the touch of flesh cool.
He also thought nice
That pillar of ice
Might replace burning log at the Yule.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who kept a dear hare in a cave.
She said with much wit,
It's not a rabbit.
The hair has more hair -- we don't shave.
--- Norm
Sin being booted by the abbott,
His habit he hides
Deep where he resides,
And has fun where he can grab it.
--- Chris Papa
Was fallaciously rated as static;
But how little they knew --
He knob was not blue --
But hoary and necrophilatic.
--- G0929
Who kept a plump goose in a cave.
"You'll have to admit,
Once I've wiped off the shit,
I've a bona fide, honking sex slave!"
--- John Miller
Who lived, as you say, in Belgrave.
And from what I recall,
This Dave use a squaw
Reclused in the desert Mojave.
--- Hugh Clary
Grubbed a gone-for good ginch in her grave.
"Though I'm sorrier and sorrier,
And also scorier
By jump-starting stiff strumpets, I save."
--- Arthur Deex P9101a
Is visited by plenty more.
Men from Kent and Nantucket,
With their bent tools, they'll fuck it,
As it putrefies there on the floor.
--- Anon
Who dwells in his cave out of sight,
Where warm bed he'd shun
For evening of fun
With someone he keeps chilled just right.
--- Chris Papa
Who kept a dead tart in his shack.
Said he, "I'll confess
My expenses are less,
But think of the small talk I lack.
--- Arthur Deex P8712b
In New York of late, he's been present.
He sifts through the rubble
And goes to much trouble
For a new mate, a tad less putrescent.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who chose to come out of his cave
And let his girl rot,
While fomenting a blot
On me with his rant and his rave ...
To diddle that corpse that was chillin';
No fear of rejection
Or even infection,
Ol' Dave had loads of penicillin.
--- Anon
And he is rather down on his luck. It
Appears his dead whore
Fell apart on the floor
And worse, he can't find his cash bucket
--- Jim Weaver Collection
An old hooker's cadaver to rut.
He said, "Though I'll avow
That she's messy to plow,
The rates for her service are cut."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8712b
He dwells in a stone cave's interior.
He does not mind the cliff
Nor the surfeit of stiffs,
Which drives all his motives ulterior.
--- Chris Papa
When he found a dead whore in a cave.
He canned the green meat
(Which was sticky and sweet)
In a bucket, the rule-breaking knave!
--- Anon
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
But he didn't fuck her
Or eat her or suck her;
He just thought it made a nice grave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I love 'em all, Buddy, don't you?"
Thus spake hermit Dave.
"Yes Dave, most I crave,
But blue babes I'll leave just for you."
--- Anon
The story the furnace man gave
To George at the store-house:
"I'm starting a whore-house,
For cave dwelling hermits like Dave."
--- Anon
With his dick, which rang out when it bent.
This hermit, named Dave,
Kept his mom as a slave,
Replacing the whore during Lent.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For Dave it's a cold and still missus.
But what this TROGLODYTE
Does with his foggy night,
Is nobody's business but Chris's.
--- Norm Brust
The attention to corpses he gave.
A-squat in the rot,
He took her best shot;
Now Dave's cave is his grave.
--- Annie Jay
It may seem to be necessary
To recall the dead crones
Who warmed old Dave's bones,
But those relics I hope you will bury.
--- Norm Brust
When centered on old Hermit Dave.
But that noble gent,
On dead flesh intent,
Was at least out of way in his cave.
--- Chris Papa
Who kept a nun chained in his cave.
The Lord interceded,
Gave the nun what she needed,
Made Dave both her lover and slave.
--- Anon
Dave's member got fungus one day.
His pecker turned green,
And though rich to obscene,
It won't do him good in the hay.
--- Kathi Webster
Need compensatory paraphenalia?
Go find Dave!
You'll love his cave
And its well-stocked PENETRALIA.
--- Norm Brust
Who seldom bothered to shave.
When his beard grew and grew,
He knew just what to do;
He just got a permanent wave.
--- Thomas Ratliff P0302
If into this lesson I toss
That Dave, harmit wary,
Sought an OSSUARY,
Just looking for good piece of oss!
--- Chris Papa
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