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He saved himself lots of mazuma, There was a Hermit named Dave "There's a hole in my bucket, oh dear", I think that I will have to save Hermit Dave, ragged and hairy, At small talk he's not very great, Remember that hermit named Dave? There once was a fellow quite callow, See the cave-hermit, Dave, quite depraved; VERNISSAGE appealed much to old Dave; There's a spammer (a temperate feller), A whore who had died in his cot With Hermits the name Dave is popular; The French have that smart savoir-faire; There once was a hermit named Dave A New England fellow named Dave, Hermit Dave decided to lure A famous explorer named Dave There's an endless amount of Daves A reclusive old fellow named Lovell On the waves of the internet tide There once was a man named Dave, Hey Dave, you dead-meat loving knave, There was an old whore named Mave, Though old, it's dead women I crave, When annoyed by a sweetheart who's dead, When your done with your blue-belly Nellie, Another young fellow called Dave, And when his friend's turn came to pass, Yet one more, whose excitable gland APOSTATE fra, his soul to save, He says that this life he enjoys, Hermit Dave, a wretched human being, The old hermit named Dave's in the sack, "Just take care that you do not break skin," "A dead hooker's hooters don't sag," "When she was alive in Seattle," That hermit named Dave hasn't halted And full-of-beans hermity Dave, That poor old fellow named Dave, There once was a man from New Haven; Hermit Dave, the old codger, is HALE. The hermit is healthy, hearty, and HALE; In poet Pope's dank ancient grotto, Before he could sully her virtue, Old Dave on occasion would rise, Said Freud, "Each of us is a slave His mind hasn't suffered bewitching! That sailor named Dave likes her lean, He savors her daily, not twice, All the regulars have gone to Nantucket, There was a dead whore from Nantucket, There once was a hermit named David, (pavid - showing fear, timid)
A lonesome spelunker named Davy (peccavi - humble confession)
There was a young fellow named Dave A solemn gravedigger named Dave Reviewing their tracts anatomical, Because of the problem with flies, I'm sure Hermit Dave is no fool, But a stiff is too stiff if she's froze, Or tell me, has anyone tried Sadly, the U.N. has halted But mostly, I'm told, Dave is tickled If Dave had the chutzpah to run, Think of the money we'd save; Dave's dates never get to the prom,
But was the subject of gossip and rumor.
You know him as Dave,
With a whore in his cave.
The service she gave was posthumous.
--- Wildman TP9802
Who kept NO whore in a cave
He said I declare
You may peer and may stare
But my hand is the thing I crave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Complained Dave of Nantucket, "I fear
That my favorite whore
Has seeped out on the floor
In a putrified mess over here."
--- Peter Wilkins
Some money by being quite brave,
And take a quick trip
(Don't make a cruel quip),
To the place which we know as Dave's Cave!
--- Archie
Went to buy an OSSUARY.
When asked, "Just who for?"
He said, "My old whore;
She's ready, I think, now to bury."
--- Norm Brust
So Dave won't RENUMERATE.
Or brag to his friends
How he evening spends,
Entertaining his cool silent date.
--- Chris Papa
The one with a stiff in his cave?
Rigor mortis set in
With his balls on her chin,
Substantially shortening his stave.
--- Anon
Whose idea of fun was quite shallow.
He played in a cave
With a hermit named Dave,
Shared skin coloration quite SALLOW.
--- Chris Papa
Miss Bonny's dead quim he has saved;
"Her head's gone to hell
And her tits kind of smell,
But she's quiet and quite well behaved."
--- Allen Wolverton
It wasn't the art that he'd crave,
But rather the booze
He was free to choose,
And thought of the money he'd save.
--- Chris Papa
Who keeps a dead whore in his cellar;
He admits that the wench
Has a terrible stench,
But for saving on pussy, she's stellar.
--- Anon
Was slowly reducing with rot.
Her face was all caved,
But old Sailor Dave
Got several more nuts in her twat.
--- Anon
Their caves harbor actions entropular.
Whores rotting away,
As they wait for the day
For Dave to do something copular.
--- MrMalo
They use sexscapades rich and rare.
But they have yet to find
Love of the special kind,
Hermit Dave enjoys in his dark lair.
--- Chris Papa
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
TAPHEPHOBIC? Not he!
He cackled with glee,
Contemplating joint tenancy of grave.
--- Norm Brust
Was thinking of ways he could save.
For sex in Nantucket,
He'd not pay; said "Fuck it!
I'll screw something dead in a cave!"
--- Frank Fazed
A gal to his dark cave secure.
With no savoir faire,
Enticed one to lair,
An affordable TWO-BIT whore.
--- Chris Papa
Was lost in an uncharted cave.
They found him at last,
When a decade had passed.
But there wasn't enough left to save.
--- Will Duquette
In infinite numbers of caves.
They're all having flings
With various dead things,
While the rest of us write the raves.
--- MrMalo
Kept the corpse of a slut in his hovel.
He remarked, "I'll concede
That it's partly from greed,
But mainly for want of a shovel."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8712b
You can go for a digital ride
And wash up on a shore
To find a dead whore
Or a cave with a hermit inside.
--- Bob Leclerc
Who would ride around town and wave
At the girls from his truck,
But he never would fuck.
Just think of the money HE saved.
--- MrMalo
Kick that bucket right out of your cave.
There are thousands of well-
Rotted whores down in hell;
Just the sort that you desperately crave.
--- Anon
Who had an incredible cave.
She said, "I confess
It's a hell of a mess,
But it's all from that hermit named Dave.
--- SlvrBear
And will boldly dig up a grave;
As long as I'm sure
The deceased was a whore,
And the carcass'll fit in my cave.
--- David Miller
Don't fret, but use my way instead:
Lubricate well,
Use Air Wick for smell,
And a plastic bag over her head
--- Anon
Cover her with petroleum jelly,
Then keep in the freezer
Till next time you please her;
That way she won't get so smelly.
--- Anon
When he found that dead whore in the cave,
Said, "I'll go first,
And if she doesn't burst,
I'll come to the entrance and wave.
--- Stephen Cordwell
He grabbed him a handful of grass
To make a soft buffer
To protect, when he stuff her,
His prick, if it poked through her ass.
--- Stephen Cordwell
Made him think the adventure was grand,
Thought fucking cold meat
An unusual treat,
'Til a tit came adrift in his hand.
--- Stephen Cordwell
Retired from the world to a cave,
Established a fling
With a non-living thing,
And renamed himself, "Hermit Dave."
--- Chris Papa
And though former fras it annoys,
This old whore go-getter
Avers it's much better,
Than simply molesting young boys.
--- Chris Papa
In a dim cave has trouble seeing.
This ailing APOSTATE
Has an enlarged prostate,
Which does make for difficult peeing.
--- Norm Brust
This is file sem
With a hooker as dead as a mac-
Eral; "This, I'll admit
Make the cave stink like shit,
But her fingernails can't claw my back!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Old Dave croaked to himself with a grin;
And he then vandalized her,
His pud fertilized her;
"Just look at what's loose in her quim!"
--- Anon
Said Dave as he unzipped the bag.
"From stiffness, they're tighter,
And if I should bite her
Cold nipples, the bitch will not nag!"
--- Anon
Said Dave, "this whore pained me with prattle;
And now, though she's dead,
She still racks my head
With noise when her musty bones rattle!"
--- Anon
The practice for which he was faulted.
And this nuisance of knavery
Says the flesh is kept savory,
By having her body well salted.
--- Hugh Clary
Does not need to be utterly brave,
When he rogers his saline
And infertile frauline.
No kids means he will keep his cave.
--- Danube
Is keeping no one in his cave.
A condo's a breeze,
With big buck C.D.s
Bought with all that dough he could save.
--- Larry Davis P8507
For a good piece of ass he was cravin'.
So he plopped it in mud,
And gave it a thud,
And said, "Look at the money I'm savin'!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He's put up his cold cave for sale.
He's Florida bound
Where he can be found
Pursuing some willing old tail.
--- Chris Papa
Epitome of cave-dwelling male.
But you must be kidding
About cold cave ridding;
He was ridden from town on a rail.
--- Daniel Ford
A lass, PUTRID Dave met while blotto;
He slobbered, "Let's do it.
There ain't nothin' to it.
I won you in hermit cave's lotto."
--- Elois
There flew by, a bird aka foo.
Who turned in a loop,
Smote Dave with bird poop;
From cave, lass escaped, with her skirt, too.
--- Elois
And get his, as you might surmise.
Poop he'd wear proudly,
And swear at bird loudly,
While tupping his old stone cold prize.
--- Chris Papa
To the road which our ego would pave.
I can now confirm it,
Just why Dave the Hermit
Would keep a dead whore in his cave!
--- MrMalo
His beanbag still has all of its stitching.
By stroking his id
With the corpses he's hid,
He puts up with a whole lot less bitching!
--- MrMalo
Not swollen up tight with the sheen
Of slimy wet mold,
But leathered and cold,
With only a hint of gangrene.
--- Anon
But claims, "An all-nighter's quite nice.
With cave-chilled dead cunt,
I lengthen me stunt,
And save even further, on ice."
--- Anon
To eat oysters (raw) from the bucket;
Then they'll all go see Dave,
And that wench in his cave;
But she's rotten; don't know where they'll tuck it!
--- Allen Wolverton
Whose body was kept in a bucket,
Located by Dave
Quite deep in a cave.
So deep, in fact, he said, fuck it!
--- Archie z
Who kept a stiff tart in his cave, he did.
He said, "I agree
That it lacks comity,
And it's not, I confess, for the pavid."
--- Arthur Deex P9601Z
Made a solemn, guilt-ridden peccavi:
My companion, now late,
Was a Hertz Rent-a-date.
But I'm happy, though ranty and ravy.
--- Arthur Deex P9601Z
Who tackled a whore in her cave.
There was not much to pay,
And the reason, they say,
Was one foot which she had in the grave.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2869
Some remnants of dead whores did save.
He fucked with delight
The assemblage each night,
Though it still had one foot in the grave.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2868
Most experts say Dave's being comical
To store a dead whore,
But we cannot ignore
That his practice is quite economical.
--- Hugh Clary
I don't think that Dave is so wise,
'Twixt the hours each day
Keeping maggots at bay,
And the gallons of Flit that he buys.
--- Hugh Clary
And follows the most golden rule:
If trying to raise Lazarus,
Though frost-bite is hazardous,
You really must keep your damn cool.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And thawing, just freaks out the nose.
Has anyone planned
On serving them canned,
Imbued with the essence of rose?
--- Tiddy Ogg
On having them thoroughly dried?
You'd have to apply
A lot of K-Y
To help things to properly slide.
--- Hugh Clary
The trade in dead prostitutes, salted.
Low-sodium diet
Forbids me to try it,
But smoked ones are truly exalted.
--- John Miller
To find he can purchase them pickled
In formaldehyde
And still warm inside,
Where the best of the juices have trickled.
--- John Miller
And give up his cave-dwelling fun,
The country just might
Love a troglodyte,
Who never flew on "Airforce One."
--- Chris Papa
He'd host diplomats in his cave.
This bachelor rare
Would also just spare
Us from other first ladies, grave.
--- Chris Papa
And from that, he suffers no QUALM.
But to get to first base
Dave has to make haste,
'Cause he doesn't know how to embalm.
--- Larry McGrath
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