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"The food we consumed," said McGoo, When once he was given this clue, The only ache that I've felt But a kiss from your lips will suffice; If you kiss your way to the right place, His wife in a coma lay limp. The doctor returned a bit later; She wouldn't drink spunk from my knob. So men, if you want her to drink, I'll tell you about Jennie Frost; So the rumors I've heard are quite true; An expert on sex, Reverend Sturgeon, I see you guys know Jennie too; While dancing the tango with Bridget, She pulled out the thing, greatly swolled, She licked her lips, said "What a shame, dear, Home from work, jumped his spouse for to pin her; Stated she, as she rolled off the bed, So the gulping of goodies she's deigned? If only you'd swallowed that load But since that thar cheese is now crusted I'd venture that head will do it. Your cunny won't mind a bit, There once was a woman named Carrie Her husband, the fairy, was smote When King Hepatitis would shiver, "Cirrhosis is my firm prognosis, Gwenn was a first chair instructor; Gail blew me when we were alone. Good riddance to them and good-bye! Hence I look nothing like Toulouse Lautrec! Okay then, I won't take offense; A whore who lives down in the slums, I think I'll stay out of the slums; A young girl from Catalonia Sperm in lungs can make breathing fail, Nob-gobbling with finesse, Quite soon on the chair's arms he gripped, While we all just sat there amazed I'm shocked at you, dear Mr. Dub! That stub was the teacher's, you tart; The doc said my throat was all red; It's all that deep-throating, my dear; When sucking dicks, one should beware, I was unscrupulous way before forty. I will thank you to open your throat At our truck stop, a waitress named Shirley, See, Shirley ain't much of a looker, I will go down in the night In the nighttime I felt you upon me, I do like to be on the top; My eyes popped the moment we met; Emotions from such news will stir His willie was cold so young Billy You see, no grease now had to splatter, Shame on Billy! The girls he would tease. In life there are many pitfalls; At the crest of evolution we stand, Erection; rejection; dejection, A modest young maiden of Rennes "Oh dear," said the cute little miss, A lad; even one with dull wit, There once was a young maid from Bliss About the Texas man from Bliss, Stan gave young Wendy a rush. Said a Princess from Saudi Arabia,
"Determined our health, how we grew."
"If we are what we eat,"
Said his girl, Maguerite,
"Tomorrow I'll likely be you."
--- Ed Potts P8812a
He suggested an escapade, new.
"If it's truthful, my sweet,
That we are what we eat,
Tonight, I would like to be you."
--- Hugh Clary
Is the one for your choice beaver pelt.
I can't get enough
Of that perfect muff;
When I saw it first time, my dick swelt!
--- Anon
It's certain to be oh so nice.
And after you sooth
[With lips, not with tooth]
I'll give you a bit of advice.
--- Anon
I'll slide deep into that wet space
That's betwixt your legs.
Now don't make me begs
Or it might all blow up in your face!
--- Anon
The doctor, a moonlightling pimp,
Said "Try oral sex.
The fuctal cortex
Will activate, clearing her crimp."
--- H Welchel
The wife was as dead as a tater.
The man did protest;
I gave it my best.
You didn't say that I'd suffocate her.
--- H Welchel
I said, "Well then, I'll do the job.
I'll shoot, then we'll kiss.
There's nothing amiss."
Thus Bev learned to savor the gob.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Best teach by example, I think.
If you've the cohones,
To quaff your tapones,
You might get a gulp and a wink!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With fellows, she kept her legs crossed,
But massaged their glands
With mouth and with hands,
And did so at quite a low cost.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Anything you want but a screw.
For one single penny,
A blow-job from Jennie
Will relieve your balls, black and blue.
--- Mike Prsnut
Revealed once to me, without urgin',
A lady who'll guy men,
Preserving her hymen,
Is called a professional virgin.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She left but my balls were still blue.
She took but a penny,
That wonderful Jennie,
And gave me a raincheck or two.
--- Dudesdead
My pants python started to fidget.
She noticed, said "My,
I'm sure Tid that I
Could make a fine meal of that digit."
--- Tiddy Ogg
And 'round it her sweet lips enfolded.
And there, on her knees,
Through her tongue's tickling tease,
With a gush in her mouth it exploded.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That you, oh so rapidly, came dear.
Tomorrow be back
And we'll jump in the sack,
For a different but similar game, dear."
--- Tiddy Ogg
As a lover, this dude was a winner.
Had a quick little boff,
Then said, as he rolled off,
"That'll hold you babe; now go fix dinner!"
--- Allen Wolverton
"I think you've been sorely misled.
You think I'm your toy,
Well, think again, boy;
And forget the next time you want head."
--- Elizabeth of Tudor Tarts
In his tool room, he having her chained;
And he'll paddle her ass,
While he's dodging her gas;
These hot redheads all need to be trained!
--- Allen Wolverton
That out of my cock did explode,
You'd not see old cheese,
Gone green with disease,
Right there on the tip of my choad.
--- Anon
Up hard and has you quite disgusted,
Would you be so good
As to scrub off my wood,
With that which ever after I've lusted?
--- Anon
Especially if you just can't screw it.
Now quit your jawin'
And get started gnawin',
'Fore he bends you over and gets to it!
--- Anon
Compared to the hole where you shit.
If on this prize you're sold,
And your derierre cornholed,
For a week and two days you won't sit.
--- Anon
Who sucked off her husband, a fairy.
She said with a grin
As she wiped off her chin,
You tasted sweet just like old Larry.
--- Robert Hemmerly
Like a sword thrust right through his throat.
He said, "How could you, dear?
Don't you like my gear?"
Carrie said "You just fuck like a goat!"
--- Robert Hemmerly
He'd send for his doctor down river;
"King Hep," doc would bellow,
"You're quite mellow yellow,
Delighted I'll be to de-liver."
--- Travis Brasell
It's eating you from head to toesis!"
King Hep then cried, "Doc,
What's eating my cock?"
Said doc, "My prognosis is Rose is!"
--- Travis Brasell
She played violin and I fucked her.
Our love, it was hallowed,
'Til I found she'd swallowed
The baton of the goddamn conductor.
--- Anon
By night she played lead saxophone.
She gave both great lip
'Til she let it slip
That she'd rather blow Reed than my bone.
--- Anon
No musical sluts; blessed silence!
From that day 'til now,
I can't tell you how,
Much I deplore sax and violins.
--- Anon
For my thighs are okay; up to spec.
It's perspective my dear,
When you're fondling my spear
On your knees, they're foreshortened, by 'eck.
--- Anon
I'll say nothing at all in defence,
If you publicly say
That my thighs are okay,
And my willy is simply immense!
--- Anon
Will blow you while she sings and hums;
The job she will render
Is done with such tender;
There's not one damn tooth in her gums.
--- Allen Wolverton
This is file rol
A good country girl beats all those bums.
Give me slurping and poking,
While giggling and joking;
First cousins can be best of chums.
--- Allen Wolverton
Came down with a case of pneumonia.
(This one will zonk ya'.)
Seems all of her bronchia
Were filled with spermatazonia.
--- MrMalo a
A horrible end to her tale;
Next time think twice,
Take Bill C.'s advice:
Swallow but do not inhale!
--- Kaylin Brandon
But leaving a tell-tale mess?
The lesson we learn
From the tattling intern
Is "Don't wipe your mouth on your dress!"
--- Caton Little
As he was professionally lipped.
She barely was done
'Fore his meeting at one;
He entered the room still unzipped.
--- Anon
The boss-man was not even fazed!
Seems he did not know
That he was on show
Or where it was that we all gazed.
--- Anon
Of course I was not in that club!
Your behaviour's appall-
ing! (And as I recall,
It was more like licking a stub).
--- Anon
'Twas easy to tell us apart,
For his was all cobbled
Together and knobbled,
While mine was a fine work of art.
--- Anon
Infection was starting to spread.
I can't talk at all.
To the bathroom I crawl
To pee so I don't wet the bed.
--- Carol
Gave you that infection, I fear.
On dicks you are keen
But they've got to be clean;
Don't let John or Travis get near.
--- Tiddy Ogg
'Cause you never know who, when, or where,
That dick was last sucked,
Or maybe butt-fucked;
With scrub brush and bleach I prepare.
--- Carol
Grabbed every chance to be naughty.
With any hot chick,
Let them play with my dick;
To deny me that right would be haughty.
--- Anon
And attention to breathing devote,
As you milk from my tool
Its steamy white gruel,
To see if your tonsils will float.
--- Anon
Often knocks off from work a bit early.
She slinks off with a trucker
(She's a $20 "sucker")
'Cause she likes her men big, bad and burly.
--- Jeanie
But she makes lots of tips as a hooker.
Fifteen days on the road,
And a guy'll dump his load,
In just about any old snooker.
--- Jeanie
To uncover a beautiful sight;
The thing I did miss;
I'll give it a kiss,
And watch it rise up in delight.
--- Carol
As you lightly placed fingers there on me.
And your tongue did its dance
Right down on my lance,
Then you hopped on and you 'dusk till dawn'ed me.
--- Gearhart
Rocking back and forth, I won't stop,
'Til I hear you scream,
As you fill me with cream;
I'll kiss you until your eyes pop!
--- Carol
Your beauty enveloped me, pet.
I've grown very fonda
My big anaconda
Inside that dark hole, oh so wet...
--- Gearhart
And spin parents' minds in a whirr;
But for goodness sake
It's just one mistake:
Cute Mary took Johnny to fur!
--- Anon
Dipped his thing in the chili.
Boy, did that smart!
So he went to a tart,
And that filly sucked Bill willy-nilly.
--- Tiddy Ogg
'Cause willie was dipped into batter.
With all of the seasoning,
The girls lost their reasoning.
That willie never reached any platter.
--- Pilar
They were lured there for willie and cheese,
Served wrapped in a bun?
That's not too much fun!
Over here...pass the condiments please.
--- Pilar
I'll speak of just one that appalls.
I think it unjust
That in moments of lust,
I'm unable to lick my own balls.
--- Dolphin
Yet some things we can't do on demand.
We can't tongue our own jewels,
But note, we're not fools,
For we've young ladies to give us a hand.
--- Dolphin
Is common enough on reflection.
I see my suggestion
Is out of the question;
But how 'bout a kiss of affection?
--- Anon
Would have nothing to do with the mennes,
But one day at Versailles,
She was kissed on the slailles,
Now she goes there agennes and agennes.
--- A C Cossins
"When I asked you to give me a kiss,
You did not ask where,
And not that I care,
But not a square inch did you miss!"
--- Tom Accousti
Seeking ways to get girls to submit,
Will find finer finesse,
In a tender caress
With his tongue, to a clutch of her tit.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0204
Who gave a Texas man a kiss.
He gave it back
With such a smack,
She then called for an armistice.
--- Lims Unlimited
There is not much more than this:
It just was his plight
When things were all right,
To think things were going amiss.
--- Lims Unlimited
When kissing, he did more than blush.
He filled up her nook
With quarts of hot puke,
And never again kissed her tush.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To a Yankee, "I think that maybe ya
Can show me what bliss is,
By showering kisses
On my belly, my thighs, and my labia."
--- Number Two P9009
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