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A cannibal tribe, on hot rocks, Two cannibal thieves wearing hoods, I work in pathology labs Even cannibal friends would debrunch When we've wiped out the birds and the fishes A certain young man of great gumption, Take twelve hamsters, beat flat with a pole, This treatment of dear little pets Breeding hamsters are such a cute sight In Peruvian blizzards and snow, A cannibal cook yclept Paul By the cannibals, held was young Spinks, A woman as daft as can be, A headmaster's son called McNaught Two cannibals were eating a clown A cannibal from Timbuctoo The cannibals, once you are dead, There once was a boy, very stout, A cannibal, chewing the arm A hardy young lady named Annabel They've ceased to be friends, it's been heard, A seductress enticed a dictator, Then they questioned the King of the Cannibals, A cannibal chief did discover A cannibal chief from Saint Kitts, Said the cannibal cook to King Zoth, Said a man, "Gad, I'm feeling terrific, As the cook stewed a family named Skinner, A cannibal's not very tall, As the natives got ready to serve Jungle cannibals, droolin' and lickin', Melanesian chefs still really dig There was an explorer, MacLean, An African Chief of Zaire A cannibal monarch imperial, A cannibal chief, named of Fred, A cannibal chief from Botswana A cannibal chief (and a varlet) A trader, named Sandy McVeetie, Jeffrey Dahjmer would call this a winner, Psychopathic wee Timmy from Towcester A starving young fellow named Moffin The cannibals caught poor Aunt May, The cannibals are a brave bunch. A necrophagus fellow was Krupp; Said daddy one night when well-oiled, There was an old fellow from Malta, A cannibal eating his brother, A cannibal said to his wife, Young Willy, with gobbles and grunts, Uncle Jim has been sent up the river; An accident led to the slaughter In this, the most horrid tale yet, A cannibal, Mr Sam Grinner, An old Irish witch named Maloney, I don't think that there's any question -- He mumbled "those aunts will not do." My old lady served on a bun; Her daddy's objections were flaccid; Said John, "She has drunk too much brandy, We can't have nude rites and goat lovin', Alex Haley's book Roots is a winner. In jungle, GREGARIOUS guy, A greenie fanatic was Annie, There was a young lady from Hannibal, Joan lived in a house in the wood
Cooked two fat physicians in crocks.
They were boiled then were braised,
And then highly appraised,
As being a fine pair o'docs.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9504
Fell out over ill-gotten goods.
Though each swore, "I'm your friend!"
It all came to an end,
When a thief passed his friend in the woods.
--- John Miller 0147 a
With bodies from mortuary slabs.
The soft inner parts,
Such as kidneys and hearts,
Make wonderfully tasty kebabs.
--- Peter Wilkins P9806
When time came down to have lunch.
To look at the Morsel
Cut by the toothy torsel,
Of the Queen of Morocco's Taco crunch.
--- Anon
And all of the animal species,
We'll have nothing to eat
Except potted meat,
"Potted Meat! Human meat! It's delicious!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8301
Among cannibals had the presumption,
To go--but, alack!
He never came back.
They say that he died of consumption.
--- Schweppes 1955 P0206
Put together with salt in a bowl,
Then blend well, add the kid --
Pop on the lid;
Ovenbaked, it's a yum casserole.
--- Ulla
Is something that dearly upsets
Me, the wife and the kiddies,
Assorted old biddies,
And most ASPCA vets!
--- Indiana Millwart
And I forward this thing with all might.
Take a gross hamster kids,
Stick 'em on kebab-sticks,
Fry -- with sauce, a delight!
--- Ulla
We survived on dead comrades till o-
Nly myself and a mate
Were left eating a plate
Of remains. (They were Andes, you know...)
--- Peter Wilkins
Was eating an arm in the hall.
As he spit out the pit,
He looked up and said, "Shit!
If the fall, we will all have a ball."
--- Mel Stover G2453
Pricked with knives, his blood slurped by those finks.
With no sign of relief,
He complained to the chief:
"Must I always get stuck for the drinks?"
--- P8301
Dismembered a fellow named Lee;
She simmered his brains,
Then she boxed his remains,
And she buried them under a tree.
--- Cap'n Bean P0104
Got a fright of the nasitest sort,
For when cleaning his teeth,
He found bits of Keith,
And others his father once taught.
--- Michael Palin
(From a wreck, but alas didn't drown).
One looked at the other
And said, "My dear brother,
This tastes funny. I can't keep it down!"
--- Friar
Thought human flesh scarcely would do.
A tough appetizer,
It took tenderizer
To make a digestible stew.
--- Warrick Elrod
Eat everything except your head.
Since they pre-arrange
To make an exchange,
With nearby headhunters, instead.
--- Irving Superior
Who thought he could eat a Girl Scout.
He took a big bite,
And chewed with much might,
But ended up spitting her out.
--- Jacqueline L Fuller
Of a man who had done him great harm,
Called out to his wife,
"Hey, bring me a knife!
This guy must have worked on a farm."
--- Limber Limericks P8301
Was terribly frayed by old Hannibal,
But it did not compare
To the wear and the tear
Of the time she was ate by a cannibal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8301
After one screamed a vile, ugly word.
They fought 'til the winner
Smacked his lips after dinner,
And said, "Now, former friend, you're a turd."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We can fool around, not now, but later.
She was hardly to know
When he struck her a blow,
And afterwards sat down and ate her.
--- Anon
If 'twere true that he did it with animals?
"Oh, I boast of the same,
For to say to your shame
That they have far superior genitals.
--- G1056
His wife and a friend 'neath the cover.
He roared, "Seize the sot.
Throw him into the pot.
Tonight I will dine on chopped lover."
--- Anon
Liked barbequed clerics with grits.
When he'd come to a ball,
He'd down scrotum and all,
But with arms, he would spit out the pits.
--- Anon A
"Will these pickpockets make too much froth?"
Said the King, "Yes, my son,
You should only stew one,
For too many crooks spoil the broth!"
--- P8301
I've decided to swim the Pacific."
But halfway on a reef,
A cannibal chief
Ate him up -- now I call that horrific.
--- P8301
The Chief said, "We're all getting thinner!
So starting tonight,
For improved appetite,
`e're serving eyeballs before dinner!"
--- P8301
But he'll eat a man's hair, bones and all.
As the chief ate his stew,
Said, "Don't know about you,
But for me... I'm just having a ball."
--- Bob Birch
A midget explorer named Merve,
"This meal will be brief",
Said the cannibal chief,
"For this is at best an hors d'oeuvre."
--- Ed Cunningham P0211
Carried Clinton off, screamin' and kickin'.
What they wanted was steak,
But soon learned their mistake,
'Cause both drumsticks tasted like chicken.
--- Betty Ann Cansano
Human carcasses juicy and big.
With their cannibal past,
At the butcher's they'll ask
For that item whose code name's "long pig."
--- Don Moore P0512Q
Who dined with a cannibal queen;
Although they were meet'n
To eat or be eat'n
There were no remains to be seen.
--- Anon
This is file rim
Supped on missionary and beer.
But today when he dines,
It's on lobster and wines,
For he's at the UN now, I hear.
--- Warrick Elrod
Kept his wives on a diet of cereal,
But he didn't much care,
What the women should wear,
Nor did they, it was quite immaterial.
--- Anon
Complained to his cook, "You shithead!
With feet it's OK
To serve white or rose,
But with buttocks, you gotta serve red."
--- Michael Weinstein P9408
Said "Oh, it would be sheer Nirvana,
If only I could,
In full babyhood,
Saute an hors d'oeuvre from Montana."
--- Ogni Gioia
Consumed an Italian harlot.
So it's no surprise
His breath stings your eyes,
And his farts smell exactly like garlic.
--- Lanark
With a cannibal king made a treaty.
In a glass of gin-sling
Mac toasted the king,
And they the king toasted McVeetie.
--- F J Smith A
But it's sure to make some people thinner.
When their airplane went "Crunch",
Needing something for lunch,
The survivors had family for dinner.
--- Anon
Killed his sister, then jointed and roast her.
Later, chewing cooled limb,
To his horror young Tim
Saw his face on a big "Wanted" poster.
--- Philip Valentine
Ate his brother and sister to soften
His intense hunger pains.
To respect the remains,
He committed his turds to a coffin.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2999
And battered, then fried her that day.
The crust of her bust
Was a must for the lust-
Ful, who'd nibble poor May clean away.
--- Tiddy Ogg
They're having an auntie for lunch.
They don't eat 'em stewed
Because it's so rude,
To bite on the bones with a "crunch!"
--- Anon
On his mother who died, he did sup.
Though he ate her in haste,
She did not suit his taste,
So he dug a fresh grave and threw up.
--- Albin Chaplin
"My girls are too sweet to be spoiled.
I dote on their tresses,
Their dimples, and dresses;
They'd taste simply marvelous broiled.
--- Childs Almanac WordsP0202
Who strangled his aunt with a halter.
He said, "I won't bury her;
She'll do for my terrier.
She'll keep for a month if I salt her."
--- Anon
Said, "He's not quite as tender as Mother,
Nor so juicy and sweet.
Still, I like him to eat.
'Tis writ, 'We must love one another.'"
--- Laurence Perrine P8301
"Go get me the serrated knife.
I haven't had food
Since I ate Uncle Jude,
And YOU'VE lived a well rounded life."
--- P8301
Ate his mamma and papa for lunts;
And when he was through
He ate himself too,
And didn't say grace even wunts.
--- Willard R Espy P0307
The old stories he tells makes me shiver;
He's been somewhat unwise
Forming close family ties,
Making sausage of Grandfather's liver.
--- Mark Levy P9508
Of Butcher McCavity's daughter;
Unfortunate spinster,
He diced her and minced her,
And sold her for fourpence a quarter.
--- Peter Wilkins
Mafiosi cleaved open a vet,
Fed his dogs and three nieces,
His heart in small pieces,
Then bought their poor don a new pet.
--- David A Brooks Q
Took his wife on a trip out to Pinner.
They had a nice day,
But then, sad to say,
They both cooked each other for dinner.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Cackled, "Chicken is terribly bony.
But a son or a daughter
Will make your mouth water,
And is boneless as fresh-cut baloney."
--- Anon
My aunts aren't fit for ingestion!
They are so old and tough,
You couldn't boil them enough --
The cannibals would get indigestion!
--- Kaylin Brandon
As he kept on stirring the stew.
"I know what oughta
Make my mouth water...
My wife would be tender to chew."
--- MrMalo
Or hung jerky to dry in the sun.
Bet a dime to a dollar
She'd be hard to swaller,
But shitting her, sure would be fun.
--- MrMalo
Her mommy complaisant and placid.
But the baby we ate,
Just wasn't that great;
It lacked Omega-3 fatty acid.
--- John Miller
And everything else I had handy!
But it wasn't easy
To do the act sleazy
As taking the baby from Candy.
--- David Miller
Or Lucifer here in our coven;
We can't roast this child
And now we're both wild!
It won't fit in our microwave oven!
--- David Miller
How Kunta Kinte, the old sinner,
The night just before
He left the dark shore
Had my grandfather over...for dinner.
--- Arthur Deex P8301
Grieved for his brother, you ask why;
Because the deceased
Provided a feast
And by all will be passed bye and bye.
--- Chris Papa
At cookery she was so canny,
When her mother dies,
She's turned into pies.
"Come on, kids, let's recycle granny."
--- Anon
Who won local fame as a cannibal,
By eating her mother,
Her father, her brother,
And two sisters, Gertrude, and Annabel.
--- John Ciardi
Fred won't share -- she knew where he stood.
Three babies he's got,
But she likes' 'em hot
With hollandaise -- kids taste real good!
--- Anon
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