MORE
There was an old hooker called Gretcha, In Glascow, a tender tapeworm, A pervert by the name of McNutt, The tapeworm lives deep in your guts There was an old girl of Silesia, In a clown once lived a tapeworm, After licking the barely wiped butt There once was a fellow from Rye, A wench named Elizabeth Binner, Jimmy, the arrogant elf, There was a young man of Mauritius, A grimmerick now in the making, A few of the girls followed Moonie, A cannibal once in a dream An earnest young man of Zimbabwe, In cannibalistic society, Alone in the jungle, poor Peppard, An explorer referred to as Clive, A young Highland laddie called Connor, (Donner Party cannibalized during gold rush Calif 1950)
My heart will go on - well, on what? Last night was the night of "Long Moon"; I went over to borrow a scarf of Gus Now Walmart has opened a store Instead they just open a can Two monkeys who lived in a tree The British are pallid and pasty "I say what's that fightful ado; "Good heavens! McCannibals eh? And what about poor Reverend King? The Reverend's assistant, Curate Wicken A cannibal who lived in New Guinea A cannibal shaped like an elf A cannibal, grizzled and gray, Though cannibal shamans were fakes, Guru of cuisine, Betty Rosen, She would have to be joking, our Betty, As a cannibal Heeze was top-shelf, If I hit the hot-pot with you, There are cannibals near Timbuktu There are cannibals near Timbuktu I called an old ghoul-friend, Miss Wall, There was an old man of Omoo While stirring tomatoes, chef Willie The head of the school of St Bride, "I'm Otto," he said. "I'm Hungarian; The creature named Chris was a carnivore I'm adored by a maid 'cross the sea; There was a young fellow called Kipps I do like fried Camembert cheese, Is that what you pay to join in, It is rather unfair and a shame The tourist guide said, "Don't take fright! As the cannibals in town grew RESTIVE, There once was a woman named Joan I wouldn't go to dinner with a cannibal, Now Christmas is over and done, A visitor know as McGraw An explorer, so cool under heat, This talk of cannibal rioting; A fakir who lives by the Ganges Man's reproduction will smother For Christmas, gay cannibal, Zhmed, Before Auntie went in the pot, A young anthropologist, Drew, The poster has just set the tone You are a very sad man indeed, There was a young cannibal, Ned,
Who, for two pounds, would then let ya'.
And for five you could come
Up her slimy old bum,
But Jimmy the tapeworm might get ya'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was so starved that he barely could squirm.
Until his host finally
Was buggered divinely,
And Jimmie had vaseline and sperm.
--- L0516
Thought he found the world's nastiest slut.
She was wall to wall zits,
Had two scabs for tits,
And three tapeworms hanging out of her butt.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Having sex with itself; without sluts
To bother its mind;
Makes more of its kind;
Proglottids then play on your nuts.
--- John Miller
Who said, "As my cunt doesn't please ya,
You might as well come,
Up my slimy old bum,
Watch that Jimmy the tapeworm don't seize ya."
--- Norman Douglas L1057
Also an intestinal germ.
Sometimes they would lean
On the walls of the spleen
And talk to the playful young sperm.
--- David Robbins
Of a grubby young lady-boy slut,
I gagged and I wretched,
'Til I finally fetched
The tapeworm from out of my gut!"
--- Anon
Whose ashes were baked in a pie,
Which was served with some tea
By his widow, Marie,
To deliver his final goodbye.
--- Cap'n Bean
She murdered her neighbor named Skinner;
She savagely stoned him,
She skinned and de-boned him,
And fried up his innards for dinner.
--- Cap'n Bean
Had his body parts stored on a shelf.
He boasted he'd eat
His own arms, ears, and feet.
He did, now he's full of himself.
--- Phil T
Who liked his food rich and nutritious.
He said with a sigh,
He thought Baby Pie
With the toes sticking through was delicious.
--- P8301
I will write, if my neighbor ain't faking,
For she's threatened to kill
Mr. Moore up the hill,
And to use his remains in her baking.
--- Cap'n Bean P0101
Until they found out he was loonie.
They cut off his moonrocks,
Went back to the boondocks,
And ate them on buns like a cooney!
--- Anon
Conceived of a dish quite supreme.
And to his delight
He was served it one night:
Fresh Bwanas in heavy sour cream.
--- Anon
Believed that to death he should stab me.
Pursuing this thesis,
He'd hack me to pieces,
And he and his friends could kebab me.
--- X Rowland Burnham P8512
They murder but never in first degree.
For by the time
They try the crime,
Corpus delicious but not delicti.
--- Irving Superior P8501
Is being attacked by a leopard.
Some cannibals, they,
Made both a saute --
Delicious, especially peppered.
--- Irving Superior P8301
Some cannibals skinned him alive;
He was placed in a stew
At a quarter-to-two,
And was served for their dinner at five.
--- Cap'n Bean P0605
Fought bravely to defend his own honour.
His foe ended dead,
(He'd chopped off the head,)
To make a kebab called a Donner.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Maybe a buffet with my butt!
Putting spleen on the table,
Those willing and able,
Can savor the sauce of my gut!
--- Anon
Now I won't be returning home soon
'Till my neighbors cool down
Since the folks in our town
Caught me at eating some coon....
--- Q
And discovered him in his sarcophagus.
He was gnawing his knuckles
With grunts and with chuckles,
And becoming his own athropophagus.
--- Laurence Perrine P8301
In the Congolese jungle; no more
Do the cannibals eat
Their traditional meat
Full of vitamins, gristle and gore.
--- Peter Wilkins
Labelled "Fat-free and pre-processed man."
But the way it's produced
Means the taste is reduced,
For they substitute gristle with bran.
--- Peter Wilkins
Decided to go on a spree.
In the bar where they went
There were cannibals bent
On getting them stewed to a tee.
--- Warrick Elrod
But this shouldn't make you too hasty,
(Despite your unease
Over mad cow disease)
To conclude: British, stewed, can be tasty.
--- John Miller
All that drum-beating hullabaloo?"
"Celebrations I fear,
At McCannibal's, dear;
It's an advert for Missionary Stew."
--- Peter Wilkins
It was only a fortnight today
That poor Brigadier Fergus
Was made into burgers;
It's time we took action, I say."
--- Peter Wilkins
I hear he got captured last spring.
Do you think that he too,
Got turned into stew?
Does anyone eat Burger King?
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was added to make the stew thicken.
But he was stringy and tough
And his skin was so rough,
That they gave him to Kentucky Fried Chicken.
--- Tony Burrell
Met a scientist he thought was too skinny.
He fed her, of course,
Till she looked like a horse,
And whenever he'd stroke her, she'd whinny.
--- Neal Wilgus P8302
Was quite poor with no food on the shelf.
So his hunger to kill it,
He jumped in his skillet,
And feasted while eating himself.
--- Anon
Had a window, enormously bay,
And fed up with people,
He sat on a steeple,
Until he had wasted away.
--- P8301
This is file qjm
They all prospered by treating mens' aches.
Few patients got cured,
Yet their failures ensured
They would seldom be faced with missed steaks.
--- David A Brooks
Said, "Only the best must be chosen;
Well-marbled Chinese,
Prime-grade, if you please,
And only if fresh, never frozen."
--- John Miller
When all of the best is all sweaty
And covered in fat
Like a fat lady's twat,
And should only be tossed off a jetty.
--- Ann Spooner
There were none in his tribe with more pelf.
Chewed his nails, bit his lips,
Gulped his arms, then his hips,
Now they say, "Heeze so full of himself."
--- Anon
I'd likely get into a stew.
How could I enmesh
With an eater of flesh?
Or ain't that what cannibals do?
--- Jane D Hughes P9101
Who make a mouth-watering stew.
But when asked to reveal
What comprises this meal,
They'll say, "Gravy, potatoes -- and YOU!"
--- P8301
Who make a mouth-watering stew.
But when aske to reveal
What comprises this meal,
They say, "Gravy, potatoes, and you!"
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Who was cooking when she took my call.
She wasn't specific,
Said her meal was terrific,
And told me she's having a ball!
--- John Miller
Whose tastes were decidedly few.
He would roll up his eyes
In affected surprise,
If you said, "I'm a cannibal too."
--- P8301
Got dizzy and felt a bit silly.
He complained he felt hot
As he fell in the pot;
When the kettle boiled down, he was chili.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8812
Had a terrible secret to hide,
For he'd boiled six boys
When they made too much noise,
Then he caught seven more, which he fried.
--- Anon
Though hungry, I'm strict vegetarian."
"Me too, see this pot;
Climb in; get real hot.
I'll eat you; I humanitarian."
--- Tiddy Ogg
But he didn't buy meat at the grocery store.
He'd prowl through the street,
Look for someone to eat,
And when finished would hunt for some more.
--- O H Powell
Read the letters she's sending to me;
She says there's a spot
For me in her pot;
Her name is Sweet Cannibal Lee.
--- Hugh Clary
Who was over addicted to chips.
A cannibal came
And said, "I feel the same!"
And sliced him in long, crispy strips.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
So I spread some all over Louise.
Then I cooked her on gas
For my supper -- alas.
She had indigestible knees.
--- Peter Wilkins
A brat-splatting orgy of sin?
Let's thrash 'em, and beat 'em;
When tender, we'll eat 'em;
Come on, let the party begin.
--- Anon
That cannibals have a bad name.
When their tribe has increased,
They engage in a feast,
Thus keeping their number the same.
--- P8211
No cannibals are there in sight;
'Cause the natives, though kind,
Are quite hard to find.
We're eating the last one tonight."
--- David Miller
My guide said, "It'd be best if
We hit the road,
Leaving our load,
Before their thoughts turn digestive."
--- Norm
Who greeted J.D. with a moan. (Jeffery Dahmer)
She ordered a liver
The size of a sliver
And found out that it was her own.
--- Anon
As his pot is probably be too small;
To fit the size of me,
He'd have breakfast, and tea,
Having enough left to fill up his hall.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And didn't we all have some fun,
With weird Uncle Ken
Who loves little children,
But says he can't eat a whole one.
--- Tony Burrell
Seized a child and ate it up raw.
As he gazed at his host
And recalled Emily Post,
He inquired, "Did I make a faux pas?"
--- P8301
In a cannibal pot, sang such sweet
Bedtime songs, his guard dozed...
Their roles juxtaposed...
One man's poise 'n' another man's meat.
--- Prof M-G
Quite shocking, most disquieting.
Your brain's in a mess,
Which leads me to guess,
That currently, you are dieting.
--- Chris Papa
Exists on society's flange; he's
Obliged to hunt scraps
Where others take craps,
And chew upon dead man's phalanges.
--- Armand E Singer 484
The ability of the Earth Mother
To feed populations,
So stop copulations,
Or we'll surely be eating each other.
--- Jan Sand
Gave personal presents instead.
To all of his friends
To start some new trends:
Gay Zhmed gave each one some new head!
--- Anon
The stripped her to see what she's got.
How she must have moaned
While she was being boned.
At least she was eaten while hot.
--- Anon
Says fieldwork can lead one askew:
"If you make a bungle
Out there in the jungle,
You might well end up in a stew!"
--- Norm Storer P0108
'Bout steaks you have right off the bone.
The way things are ruled
You cannot be fooled --
No women are served. Bring your own.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8804
As eating of pets is just greed.
As what would you do,
If we wanted a stew,
Would you offer yourself as a feed?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who liked to eat onions in bed.
His mother said, "Sonny,
It's not very funny,
Why don't you eat people instead?"
--- G Nash
MORE