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In the village of Jigamafloo, Two cannibals sat down to dine Two cannibals lounged on the grass The cannibals thought this a winner, A cannibal bold of Penzance, A sausage supplier named Flynn, A cannibal, one old man Swisser, On Halloween night up in Maine; "In my role as the public's protector," There once was a fagot named Hector, Hannibal Lecter said, "Just listen here, "I'm sorry for young Mrs Gibbs, (sudden infant death syndrome)
Inspired is the cooking of Phil; Hannibal went in to a shrink It was good to the last drop, and then Hannibal was choosing among If on neighbors he munches a lot, Han's appetite quickly increased; Such verse is offensive to Hannibal, All the sex manuals say that you should A cannibal called Peter Bryan, Two cannibals out in Bengal The first fellow stood up aghast, "If cannibals voted," said Spence, There once was a cannibal priest Said the cannibal chief in a snit, A cannibal once asked his guest Brother Thomas aspired to deliver The cannibals taught by Monk Kitt In Uganda the tribes took delight The priest was from Britain, a limey. An innocent preacher named Skinner, When the cannibals lighted their fires Said a missionary named Hugh, A parson grew tired of his grange; It's hard to believe, but it's true "The white man just calls me a creature; Some sisters just up from Cape Town A priest who did not feel too hot, "These cannibals, all nullifidian," (nullifidian - no faith or beliefs, atheistic)
At lunch with Atilla the Hun, Astute Melanesians on Munda, Since missionaries taste like duck, "The Rabbi or Bishop of York?" Two cannibal priests met for dinner: A missionary fellow called Skinner, "Dear Lord," Skinner prayed, "Bless this stew! But this Skinner just couldn't stay mad; There was a fair maid from Decatur, Some say missionaries are chewy, In the land where once ruled old Hannibal, There once was a woman of Chatham, There was a right royal old nigger, My "man-in-the-boat" is unmannable The vulva of Lord Byron's daughter A pretty young woman named Proctor Though the girls may be dead when I greet them, A man who was nicknamd The Stub There once was a man named Kleppers There once was a boy named Drew "The priest has said we must wear clothes Have you heard about Native Roulette? The corpse of the late Mr. Palmer 'Twas the Caliph of Baghdad's proud boast Lady Pansy Pinkpeachblossom Paul There once was a cannibal deaner Have you tried making testicle tea?
They don't look at the world as we do.
When a gentleman dies,
His widow shouts, "Surprise!
Now we'll all have a little more stew!"
--- Graham Lester
When one to the other did whine,
"My mother-in'law
Is tasteless and blah."
The other said, "Try some of mine."
--- Tutta Gioia
And one moaned, for they suffered from gas.
One moaned to the other,
"I've eaten your brother."
His friend answered, "This too shall pass."
--- Liam Reidy P8502a
And since they don't want to get thinner,
They've sent invitation
To all our relation...
We're having an uncle for dinner.
--- Frank Fazed
Ate an uncle and two of his aunts,
A cow and her calf,
An ox and a half,
And now he can't button his pants.
--- Anon
Was arrested and charged with a sin:
Mixing dog-meat with beef,
Even cats, and --good grief--
They suspect his wife too, was mixed in.
--- Carl Ludvig Hansen P9305
Said to his host, "This soup's bliss, sir.
I'll say for the group
Your wife makes great soup."
"I know," said the host, "but I'll miss her."
--- Fred Cohen P8407
The kiddies all sang a refrain:
"This morning we ate
All your guts from a plate,
And tonight we'll be munching your brain."
--- Cap'n Bean P0209
Said a government livestock inspector,
"It wasn't spring lamb
Being sold by the gram,
In the meat shop of Hannibal Lecter.
--- Anon
With insane guys, was not a detector.
Now Hector is gone,
Except for one bone,
He had lunch with Doc Hannibal Lecter.
--- Anon
There is nothing as nice as an ear,
With butter that drips,
And crispy fried chips,
Washed down with a cold stein of beer."
--- Vertech Limerick Contest
Whose infants got SIDS in their cribs,"
Said Hannibal Lector.
"To show I respect her,
I'm dining on baby-back ribs."
--- Anon
Nouvelle, Haute Cuisine or a grill,
But caveat emptor
'Cause Hannibal Lector
Dines here, and he eats his fill!
--- Anon
Who told him his mind was a sink.
So Han swallowed that clown
And then washed him down,
With a cup of red blood for a drink.
--- Mike Pollack (Peg Kay?)
Hannibal, wiping his chin,
Said (devoid of remorse),
"I could eat a plowhorse --
Kindly bring the next therapist in."
--- Marry Sullivan
Giblets and nicely cooked tongue,
Trying hard to avoid
The heirs of old Freud,
Insisting that he have them Jung.
--- Mary Sullivan
He should stop at the middle-most spot.
That's averse to my taste
But it's sinful, the waist,
When indulging in prime food for thought.
--- Peg Kay
Dreamed of bread and the sweet smell of yeast.
Spread with loving labor,
The limbs of his neighbor.
A sandwich? A veritable feast!
--- Mary Sullivan
Who is, as you've noticed, aa cannibal.
So watch and be wary,
Dear Peggy and Mary;
Quite likely escape is unplannable.
--- Peg Kay
Look on foreplay as something quite good.
But Jeffrey L. Dahmer
Who made front page glamour
Says, "One should not play with one's food."
--- Don Moore P9108
For fresh human flesh is just dyin'.
And if your his cellmate,
They won't hear you yell, mate;
He'll rip out your throat like a lion.
--- Jarmo
Were eating a preacher named Paul.
"How's it going there, Fred?"
Said the man at the head.
Said the other, "I'm having a ball."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8301a
Observing his comrade's reppast.
"Slow down," he said, "Fred,
For I'm still at the head.
I'm afraid that your're eating too fast."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8301a
"I don't doubt that both of the gents
Who are running would swear
To give tribes everywhere
Missionaries at public expense."
--- A N Wilkins P8411A
Who was summoned to bless the deceased;
He mumbled a prayer
Then he pulled up a chair
And he had a most marvelous feast.
--- Cap'n Bean P0206
"Born again Christians give me a fit.
They're quite untidy,
Act high and mighty,
And generally so full of shit."
--- Tom Patton P9701
What missionary soup he liked best.
Said the guest: 'Fear no waste,
I have Catholic taste,
But a Protestant's fine, if you're pressed.'
--- Jennifer Curry P0312
Christ to cannibals down the Nile River.
One tribe welcomed his heart--
Every man got a part,
But the chieftain claimed all of his liver.
--- William N Nesbit P9701
For conversion were slow to submit.
Now and then they would feast
On a monk or a priest
And convert men of God into shit.
--- Albin Chaplin
When black bishops took part in God's fight.
Said the cannibal chief,
"It's a blessed relief.
We can choose between dark meat and white."
--- Al Chaplin P9702
He said, "God has said you should untie me."
When he saw the sauce pan,
He exclaimed, "What's your plan?
My God, you don't plan to deep-fry me?"
--- Al Willis P9701
In Swaziland hardly a winner.
Chief guest at a feast
Wound up the deceased:
No diner was he, but the dinner.
--- Armand E Singer P0305
To boil a Franciscan named Meyers,
The chief told the cook,
"The recipe book
Says you don't boil Franciscans. They're friars.
--- A N Wilkins P9206a
This is file rhm
"I was screwing the natives, that's true.
The cannibal chief
Is giving me grief,
That's why I find myself in this stew."
--- Tom Patton P9701
Went off on a foreign exchange.
Traveled like Hannibal;
Met with a cannibal;
Found his last home -- on the range.
--- John E Mayhood P9901
That proselitizers oft screw;
Male cannibals, though,
Are backward, not slow;
They'll throw men of God in the stew.
--- Mark Levy P9701
He thinks that he's some kind of teacher.
He changes our rules,
And he thinks we're damn fools.
I think we should boil that damn preacher.
--- Al Willis P9701
About cannibals asked Father Brown.
Said he, "You'll be spurned
By those tribes, for they've learned
That they can't keep a good woman down.
--- P8301A
Was improved by the place-card he got;
Since he felt savage sinners,
When giving priests dinners,
Should not make them sit in the pot.
--- David A Brooks
Said an old missionary from Gideon,
"When they make me their feast
Will finally, at least,
Be getting a taste of religion."
--- A N Wilkins P8511
I ordered a roast corn-fed nun.
He said, "We have monks
Served on pineapple chunks."
I said, "Okay." And he gave me one.
--- Bill Wall
Heard a Padre discussing the wunda,
Of Virginal Birth,
They debated its worth,
Then tore the poor Padre asunda.
--- Anon L1660
The cannibals would fingers suck,
If "Mish" at dinnertime.
The "Mish" called it a crime.
The cannibals called it "pot luck."
--- Irving Superior P9701
Said the cannibal wielding his fork.
"The Anglican holy
Man; spit-roasted slowly."
"OK then, I'll slice up the pork."
--- Anon
Said one: "Yum ... this meal's a real winner!"
"The entre's nutritious,"
Said two: "And delicious."
"Ah, yes!" said one, "Roast a la Sinner!"
--- Anon
In Africa, saving the sinner,
He found it too hot,
As he sat in the pot,
While the cannibals prayed before dinner.
--- Anon
Now these heathen I all bring to you..."
And they all went in style
'Cause he emptied a vial
Of some poison right into that brew.
--- Anon
His sister was still to be had.
With the end of the skewer
Still sticking right through her,
Her sister got plenty -- not bad!
--- Anon
Who was known as a red-hot potater.
To the jungle she went,
On mission work bent,
Where a dozen fat savages ate her.
--- Anon
But I think that's a lot of hooey.
If they seem tough,
They are not cooked enough,
Or not diced, as in chop suey.
--- Tom Patton P9701
There's an evening quite easily plannable:
Ten blacks in a row,
And all of them blow,
But one of the ten is a cannibal.
--- Anon
A very irascible madame.
When she sought hubby's aid,
He was caught with the maid,
So she cooked him and ate him and shat him.
--- MrMalo
Who ate the balls of the Reverend MacTrigger.
His five hundred wives
Had the time of their lives,
It grew bigger and bigger and bigger.
--- G1506
By one who in Boston is bannable.
So do quit your urgin'
And leave me non-virgin,
And you stay a born-again cannibal.
--- Jane D Hughes P9101
Was served at a feast with iced porter,
And heartily praised:
It was boiled first, then braised,
With plenty of herbs in the water.
--- G1492
Was kidnapped by an old Chinese doctor.
She wouldn't give in
To a mortal sin,
So he chopped her and then he woked her.
--- Tom Patton P9708
As a cannibal I don't mistreat them.
They're not cooked in a pot,
But I do get them hot
And they come back to life when I eat them.
--- Phil Cannibal P9102
Played Afro-roulette at his club.
When unlucky Hannibal
Drew the old cannibal,
She chewed his cock down to the nub.
--- P8301
Who would hunt down all the male lepers.
He'd take a big stick
And knock off their dick,
Which he cooked up like sausage and peppers!
--- John Chastaine
Who loved to make human stew.
He cooked up some meat;
Said "Wow, what a treat!";
It was no body part that he knew.
--- Anon
And take all the bones from our nose."
The native said this
As she squatted to piss.
"But I will not wear those panty hose."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The ladies all give you good head,
And it really feels good,
With them sucking your pud...
Unless it's the cannibal you get.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Was whisked off to the local embalmer.
An attendant named Mac,
Took his dead dick for a snack,
And cooked it a la Jeffrey Dahmer.
--- Cruelty Jones
That he was the world's finest host.
But as for his harem,
He nightly would scare 'em,
By serving fresh penis pot roast.
--- Michael Horgan
Was know for her sexual stall.
If a man came too near,
She would bite on each ear,
And swear she was half cannibal.
--- Warrick Elrod
Whose "joie de vivre" couldn't be keener.
With corpses galore,
He could not ask for more;
For dinner he'd slice off a wiener.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0310
It goes nicely with crackers and Brie.
Take a quick little nick;
Makes a side dish of dick;
A meal fit for now, he or she?
--- Anon
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