In the village of Jigamafloo,
They don't look at the world as we do.
When a gentleman dies,
His widow shouts, "Surprise!
Now we'll all have a little more stew!"
--- Graham Lester

Two cannibals sat down to dine
When one to the other did whine,
"My mother-in'law
Is tasteless and blah."
The other said, "Try some of mine."
--- Tutta Gioia

Two cannibals lounged on the grass
And one moaned, for they suffered from gas.
One moaned to the other,
"I've eaten your brother."
His friend answered, "This too shall pass."
--- Liam Reidy P8502a

The cannibals thought this a winner,
And since they don't want to get thinner,
They've sent invitation
To all our relation...
We're having an uncle for dinner.
--- Frank Fazed

A cannibal bold of Penzance,
Ate an uncle and two of his aunts,
A cow and her calf,
An ox and a half,
And now he can't button his pants.
--- Anon

A sausage supplier named Flynn,
Was arrested and charged with a sin:
Mixing dog-meat with beef,
Even cats, and --good grief--
They suspect his wife too, was mixed in.
--- Carl Ludvig Hansen P9305

A cannibal, one old man Swisser,
Said to his host, "This soup's bliss, sir.
I'll say for the group
Your wife makes great soup."
"I know," said the host, "but I'll miss her."
--- Fred Cohen P8407

On Halloween night up in Maine;
The kiddies all sang a refrain:
"This morning we ate
All your guts from a plate,
And tonight we'll be munching your brain."
--- Cap'n Bean P0209

"In my role as the public's protector,"
Said a government livestock inspector,
"It wasn't spring lamb
Being sold by the gram,
In the meat shop of Hannibal Lecter.
--- Anon

There once was a fagot named Hector,
With insane guys, was not a detector.
Now Hector is gone,
Except for one bone,
He had lunch with Doc Hannibal Lecter.
--- Anon

Hannibal Lecter said, "Just listen here,
There is nothing as nice as an ear,
With butter that drips,
And crispy fried chips,
Washed down with a cold stein of beer."
--- Vertech Limerick Contest

"I'm sorry for young Mrs Gibbs,
Whose infants got SIDS in their cribs,"
Said Hannibal Lector.
"To show I respect her,
I'm dining on baby-back ribs."

(sudden infant death syndrome)
--- Anon

Inspired is the cooking of Phil;
Nouvelle, Haute Cuisine or a grill,
But caveat emptor
'Cause Hannibal Lector
Dines here, and he eats his fill!
--- Anon

Hannibal went in to a shrink
Who told him his mind was a sink.
So Han swallowed that clown
And then washed him down,
With a cup of red blood for a drink.
--- Mike Pollack (Peg Kay?)

It was good to the last drop, and then
Hannibal, wiping his chin,
Said (devoid of remorse),
"I could eat a plowhorse --
Kindly bring the next therapist in."
--- Marry Sullivan

Hannibal was choosing among
Giblets and nicely cooked tongue,
Trying hard to avoid
The heirs of old Freud,
Insisting that he have them Jung.
--- Mary Sullivan

If on neighbors he munches a lot,
He should stop at the middle-most spot.
That's averse to my taste
But it's sinful, the waist,
When indulging in prime food for thought.
--- Peg Kay

Han's appetite quickly increased;
Dreamed of bread and the sweet smell of yeast.
Spread with loving labor,
The limbs of his neighbor.
A sandwich? A veritable feast!
--- Mary Sullivan

Such verse is offensive to Hannibal,
Who is, as you've noticed, aa cannibal.
So watch and be wary,
Dear Peggy and Mary;
Quite likely escape is unplannable.
--- Peg Kay

All the sex manuals say that you should
Look on foreplay as something quite good.
But Jeffrey L. Dahmer
Who made front page glamour
Says, "One should not play with one's food."
--- Don Moore P9108

A cannibal called Peter Bryan,
For fresh human flesh is just dyin'.
And if your his cellmate,
They won't hear you yell, mate;
He'll rip out your throat like a lion.
--- Jarmo

Two cannibals out in Bengal
Were eating a preacher named Paul.
"How's it going there, Fred?"
Said the man at the head.
Said the other, "I'm having a ball."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8301a

The first fellow stood up aghast,
Observing his comrade's reppast.
"Slow down," he said, "Fred,
For I'm still at the head.
I'm afraid that your're eating too fast."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8301a

"If cannibals voted," said Spence,
"I don't doubt that both of the gents
Who are running would swear
To give tribes everywhere
Missionaries at public expense."
--- A N Wilkins P8411A

There once was a cannibal priest
Who was summoned to bless the deceased;
He mumbled a prayer
Then he pulled up a chair
And he had a most marvelous feast.
--- Cap'n Bean P0206

Said the cannibal chief in a snit,
"Born again Christians give me a fit.
They're quite untidy,
Act high and mighty,
And generally so full of shit."
--- Tom Patton P9701

A cannibal once asked his guest
What missionary soup he liked best.
Said the guest: 'Fear no waste,
I have Catholic taste,
But a Protestant's fine, if you're pressed.'
--- Jennifer Curry P0312

Brother Thomas aspired to deliver
Christ to cannibals down the Nile River.
One tribe welcomed his heart--
Every man got a part,
But the chieftain claimed all of his liver.
--- William N Nesbit P9701

The cannibals taught by Monk Kitt
For conversion were slow to submit.
Now and then they would feast
On a monk or a priest
And convert men of God into shit.
--- Albin Chaplin

In Uganda the tribes took delight
When black bishops took part in God's fight.
Said the cannibal chief,
"It's a blessed relief.
We can choose between dark meat and white."
--- Al Chaplin P9702

The priest was from Britain, a limey.
He said, "God has said you should untie me."
When he saw the sauce pan,
He exclaimed, "What's your plan?
My God, you don't plan to deep-fry me?"
--- Al Willis P9701

An innocent preacher named Skinner,
In Swaziland hardly a winner.
Chief guest at a feast
Wound up the deceased:
No diner was he, but the dinner.
--- Armand E Singer P0305

When the cannibals lighted their fires
To boil a Franciscan named Meyers,
The chief told the cook,
"The recipe book
Says you don't boil Franciscans. They're friars.
--- A N Wilkins P9206a

This is file rhm

Said a missionary named Hugh,
"I was screwing the natives, that's true.
The cannibal chief
Is giving me grief,
That's why I find myself in this stew."
--- Tom Patton P9701

A parson grew tired of his grange;
Went off on a foreign exchange.
Traveled like Hannibal;
Met with a cannibal;
Found his last home -- on the range.
--- John E Mayhood P9901

It's hard to believe, but it's true
That proselitizers oft screw;
Male cannibals, though,
Are backward, not slow;
They'll throw men of God in the stew.
--- Mark Levy P9701

"The white man just calls me a creature;
He thinks that he's some kind of teacher.
He changes our rules,
And he thinks we're damn fools.
I think we should boil that damn preacher.
--- Al Willis P9701

Some sisters just up from Cape Town
About cannibals asked Father Brown.
Said he, "You'll be spurned
By those tribes, for they've learned
That they can't keep a good woman down.
--- P8301A

A priest who did not feel too hot,
Was improved by the place-card he got;
Since he felt savage sinners,
When giving priests dinners,
Should not make them sit in the pot.
--- David A Brooks

"These cannibals, all nullifidian,"
Said an old missionary from Gideon,
"When they make me their feast
Will finally, at least,
Be getting a taste of religion."

(nullifidian - no faith or beliefs, atheistic)
--- A N Wilkins P8511

At lunch with Atilla the Hun,
I ordered a roast corn-fed nun.
He said, "We have monks
Served on pineapple chunks."
I said, "Okay." And he gave me one.
--- Bill Wall

Astute Melanesians on Munda,
Heard a Padre discussing the wunda,
Of Virginal Birth,
They debated its worth,
Then tore the poor Padre asunda.
--- Anon L1660

Since missionaries taste like duck,
The cannibals would fingers suck,
If "Mish" at dinnertime.
The "Mish" called it a crime.
The cannibals called it "pot luck."
--- Irving Superior P9701

"The Rabbi or Bishop of York?"
Said the cannibal wielding his fork.
"The Anglican holy
Man; spit-roasted slowly."
"OK then, I'll slice up the pork."
--- Anon

Two cannibal priests met for dinner:
Said one: "Yum ... this meal's a real winner!"
"The entre's nutritious,"
Said two: "And delicious."
"Ah, yes!" said one, "Roast a la Sinner!"
--- Anon

A missionary fellow called Skinner,
In Africa, saving the sinner,
He found it too hot,
As he sat in the pot,
While the cannibals prayed before dinner.
--- Anon

"Dear Lord," Skinner prayed, "Bless this stew!
Now these heathen I all bring to you..."
And they all went in style
'Cause he emptied a vial
Of some poison right into that brew.
--- Anon

But this Skinner just couldn't stay mad;
His sister was still to be had.
With the end of the skewer
Still sticking right through her,
Her sister got plenty -- not bad!
--- Anon

There was a fair maid from Decatur,
Who was known as a red-hot potater.
To the jungle she went,
On mission work bent,
Where a dozen fat savages ate her.
--- Anon

Some say missionaries are chewy,
But I think that's a lot of hooey.
If they seem tough,
They are not cooked enough,
Or not diced, as in chop suey.
--- Tom Patton P9701

In the land where once ruled old Hannibal,
There's an evening quite easily plannable:
Ten blacks in a row,
And all of them blow,
But one of the ten is a cannibal.
--- Anon

There once was a woman of Chatham,
A very irascible madame.
When she sought hubby's aid,
He was caught with the maid,
So she cooked him and ate him and shat him.
--- MrMalo

There was a right royal old nigger,
Who ate the balls of the Reverend MacTrigger.
His five hundred wives
Had the time of their lives,
It grew bigger and bigger and bigger.
--- G1506

My "man-in-the-boat" is unmannable
By one who in Boston is bannable.
So do quit your urgin'
And leave me non-virgin,
And you stay a born-again cannibal.
--- Jane D Hughes P9101

The vulva of Lord Byron's daughter
Was served at a feast with iced porter,
And heartily praised:
It was boiled first, then braised,
With plenty of herbs in the water.
--- G1492

A pretty young woman named Proctor
Was kidnapped by an old Chinese doctor.
She wouldn't give in
To a mortal sin,
So he chopped her and then he woked her.
--- Tom Patton P9708

Though the girls may be dead when I greet them,
As a cannibal I don't mistreat them.
They're not cooked in a pot,
But I do get them hot
And they come back to life when I eat them.
--- Phil Cannibal P9102

A man who was nicknamd The Stub
Played Afro-roulette at his club.
When unlucky Hannibal
Drew the old cannibal,
She chewed his cock down to the nub.
--- P8301

There once was a man named Kleppers
Who would hunt down all the male lepers.
He'd take a big stick
And knock off their dick,
Which he cooked up like sausage and peppers!
--- John Chastaine

There once was a boy named Drew
Who loved to make human stew.
He cooked up some meat;
Said "Wow, what a treat!";
It was no body part that he knew.
--- Anon

"The priest has said we must wear clothes
And take all the bones from our nose."
The native said this
As she squatted to piss.
"But I will not wear those panty hose."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Have you heard about Native Roulette?
The ladies all give you good head,
And it really feels good,
With them sucking your pud...
Unless it's the cannibal you get.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The corpse of the late Mr. Palmer
Was whisked off to the local embalmer.
An attendant named Mac,
Took his dead dick for a snack,
And cooked it a la Jeffrey Dahmer.
--- Cruelty Jones

'Twas the Caliph of Baghdad's proud boast
That he was the world's finest host.
But as for his harem,
He nightly would scare 'em,
By serving fresh penis pot roast.
--- Michael Horgan

Lady Pansy Pinkpeachblossom Paul
Was know for her sexual stall.
If a man came too near,
She would bite on each ear,
And swear she was half cannibal.
--- Warrick Elrod

There once was a cannibal deaner
Whose "joie de vivre" couldn't be keener.
With corpses galore,
He could not ask for more;
For dinner he'd slice off a wiener.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0310

Have you tried making testicle tea?
It goes nicely with crackers and Brie.
Take a quick little nick;
Makes a side dish of dick;
A meal fit for now, he or she?
--- Anon