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'Neath a purple-crowned jacaranda, 'Neath a lofty New Zealand kauri, Remember that old lemon tree, 'Neath an autumn-dressed liquidamber, 'Neath an Autumn-dressed Liquidamber, 'Neath an Autumn-dressed Liquidamber, Said the old maid I'd pinned 'gainst the maple, My knowledge, I fear, had a gap While laying beneath a mesquite As I lay there with unfastened buckle, "Ah yes," said I, well in the know, 'Twas under a grand old mulberry 'Neath a fruit-laden, towering mulberry, A woodsman who lived in Dundee While frolicking under an oak, A young girl, name of Mrs. Muntry, Said the oak, "It's not nice to crow, Though spread-eagled under a palm, While thumping against a palmetto Luther Burbank once went on a spree Said Kate, "Let's go see if we can, 'Neath the Texas state tree, the Pecan, 'Twas under the boughs of a pine, Underneath a big flowering plum, So she said, as we walked to the peach, And I thought, you know only a sap'll Though her pussy was soft, wet, and fair, 'Neath a fine over-grown pomegranate, In the shade of a towering poplar, Do the monkeys on Florida's Keys (article in The Boston Globe)
With the love of my life 'neath the rosewood, While rummaging under the hedge, A fortnight ago I had Joan, A new furniture firm in La Jolla 'Neath the shade of a sheltering sycamore, 'Neath a nondescriipt towering teak, In the heat of a West Benghal teak, While wallowing under a teak While wallowing under a teak, We met 'neath an old willow tree; I saw, by the knotted yew tree, She said, "Who'd have thought that this yew'd But though Christ, we note, still hasn't come, When hands through the grass go a swishin', While we, underneath the great yew, Beneath that strange plant called a yucca, A popular young woodsman named Kline Young Douglas (a fir tree) loved Toyah Between a big green ponderosa, 'Neath a tall Australian red cedar, My wife panted, while under a redwood, Once a Julia Butterfly Hill Beneath a gigantic Sequoia, Beneath a gigantic sequoia, In thick frowsy heat 'neath a spruce, 'Twas under the shade of a spruce, In a sequestered glade by a spruce, I'm not sure that she ever twigged 'Neath a rough-barked turpentine, At first I was nice and I hoed 'em. In the springtime I started in seeding, With murder in mind I embark We've been fighting the weeds, don't you see, With Roundup I spray all the weeds; Warned Granddaddy: "She who hunts roots A friend of mine, young Oscar Sneed, A lesbian lady from Leeds
I was kissing Kate's cousin Amanda.
But my luck had run out,
'Cause her mom, the old trout,
Had spotted us from the veranda.
--- David Miller
I was humping a sweet young Maori;
A friend to the guys
'Cause she takes fly-buys,
And saves them up for her dowry.
--- David Miller
Under which each bloke used to pee?
Well, it now seems defunct,
Because it's been debunked,
By your good old humanity.
--- Mystelle
Upon my sweet Kate I did clamber.
As I planted my seed,
I did not know that we'd
Sat on a venomous black mamba.
--- David Miller
Upon my sweet Kate I did clamber;
And behind me a queue
Of men hoping to do,
The progressive horizontal Samba.
--- David Miller
Upon my sweet Kate I did clamber;
A cop espied us,
Arrested our lust
And said "That's what you get when you pander!"
--- David Miller
"Sonny, you screw like a ape'll.
But since I can't find
A man more refined,
You'll just have to do and this rape'll.
--- John Miller
About maples and why we must tap.
This explosive report
For a sec, took me short
Till I realized I was the sap.
--- Limerick Savant
In Texas, I kissed Lizzie's feet,
Worked up to her knees,
But then she cut the cheese,
And left me with intent incomplete!
--- Observer
I told myself, "Under she'll knuckle."
As the hummingbirds zoom,
I'm making some room,
Before I plant that honey, suckle!
--- Cyber Wizard
"I'm sure she'll be fun down below."
But she clamped on the root,
So I gave her the boot,
Saying, "I swear that pussy willow."
--- Cyber Wizard
That I took sweet Valerie's cherry.
And also Irene,
Jeanette and Coleen,
And Marcy and Cathy and Mary.
--- Observer
I tried to take Emily's cherry.
But I couldn't get in;
The damn thing was tin.
My peter's uncomfortable, very!
--- John Miller
Had diddled an oak tree with glee.
From the end of his cock
Came a wisp of a stalk,
Which grew to a mighty oak tree.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0689
She told me I'm her sort of bloke.
Then popping my flies,
She narrowed her eyes,
And said, "Is this some kind of joke?"
--- David Miller
Ate an acorn while out in the country.
It grew so slow
Way down below;
Now love is sweeping the cunt tree.
--- Tom Patton P9803
But trees are much purer, you know.
The birds and the bees
Are all nasty sleaze:
But mighty oaks from little acorns grow."
--- Anon
My humping shook not her aplomb.
When sex goes ballistic,
The Brits' characteristic
Is like flying into a great calm.
--- Bruce
I imagined a sexy libretto.
I sketched out the score,
To bring off the whore,
And sing in a wordless falsetto.
--- Bruce
And when sober he said, "Holy Gee!
I trust it was a dream
Though it really did seem
I put Partridge grafts on a Pear Tree."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9809
Go start us a fire 'neath that pecan.
Though Dave makes me horny,
He sure can be ornery...
But no one quotes Shakespeare like he can.
--- Scott Oliver
The deacon's good wife was still shriekin';
'Cause some wrinkled nut
Had lodged in her butt.
'Twas John Miller not lookin' while streakin'.
--- David Miller
The very first time I got mine.
She twisted and quivered
Until I delivered,
Then thrashed 'til I injured my spine.
--- John Miller
There I met up with my best friend's mum.
She was hot and I told her
Although she was older,
That she had an incredible bum.
--- Scott Oliver
That her quim was in need of a breach.
But if bottoms I liked,
When her skirt up she hiked,
Maybe I should partake some of each.
--- Scott Oliver
With this fine prospect wrestle and grapple.
And my urge was so strong,
That it didn't take long;
God! Her butt was the shape of an apple!
--- Scott Oliver
'Twas her ass with which naught could compare.
It was tight and sublime
That day under the lime,
And I came 'tween her cheeks -- what a pair.
--- Scott Oliver
I was having it off with my Janet.
She's fair, fat, and wide,
And a real comfy ride,
With the biggest ass on the planet.
--- David Miller
I made love to Virginia O'Copular.
Although she is dead,
It can only be said,
That she still is exceedingly popular.
--- Danube
Overstrip bark from red mangrove trees?
"To find out," said a judge,
"There I'll solemnly trudge."
But she sank in mud up to her knees.
--- Prof M-G T9707
I was coming in estatic throes; would
Have preferred some fanny.
But then, she's my granny,
She just lets me lick, but she blows good.
--- Jester Jon
And pressing her down on the sedge,
I lunged for the score
Wwhen a voice shouted "Fore!"
And caught in my butt a sand wedge.
--- Bruce
Call me on the course on her phone.
I fell in some hedges,
And then my sand-wedges
Found a new erogenous zone.
--- David Miller
This is file qrm
Makes fine products of long-lived sequoia.
All its tables are tough
As befits that old stuff,
With no broken legs to annoy ya'.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Her carnal requests made me sick galore.
I blanched at her keen wish
In Italian English:
She said, "Talka less, and licka more."
--- Bruce
Large crowds have gathered all week;
Having paid a large fee,
In the hope they might see,
John Miller's record third streak.
--- David Miller
We made love on and off for a week.
'Tis sad, but it croaked
'Cause the soil was soaked
From us not going far for a leak.
--- David Miller
a timid young girl mild and meek
told me that I should
shove in her my wood
then sat on my log for a week.
A timid young girl, mild and meek,
Told me that I should
Shove in her my wood,
And sat on my log for a week.
--- Cyber Wizard
I had hoped that Marie would say "Oui".
In spite of my plans,
We only held hands;
I was a dollar short of her fee.
--- David Miller
A nun, saying prayers in its lee.
My rod of hard lumber,
Awakened from slumber,
Laid waste to her vowed chastity.
--- Jester Jon
Would have got me so much in the mood.
When divested of habit,
I fuck like a rabbit,
Once I get what in prayer, I have sued.
--- Jester Jon
You do as soon as begun.
So let's pray to the Virgin,
To control your urgin',
To let the sap rise 'fore the sun.
--- Jester Jon
We all know what we will be wishin'.
Will we get a peep?
Or will they go deep,
And we'll wonder just what they are fishin'.
--- CM
On grass that was covered in dew,
My back it got wet;
On me she did set;
1t was such a wonderful screw!
She let me caress her and succa.
But though I did beg
To insert my third leg,
The mean bitch would not let me fucca.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A laurel recieved for work fine.
On the beech he got lit,
Then did spruce up a bit,
And proceeded to balsam and pine.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2645
But suffered acute paranoia;
Though proudly coniferous,
Tall and splendiferous,
God, how he hated Sequoia.
--- Anon
And a pretty-flowered mimosa,
I made love to Lizzie,
And we got so busy,
We bounced from Longmont to Pagosa.
--- Observer
I undressed my Kate's cousin, Frieda.
But it came to naught;
By Kate I was caught.
So I said that I had just de-flea-ed her.
--- David Miller
"My darling, thank God you give head good.
Since we went to Niagara,
You've been out of Viagra,
And your organ has been so much dead wood."
--- Ward Hardman
Spied a redwood tree loggers would kill.
So she lived in its peak
For two years and a week;
Now she's spared it the dread lumber mill.
--- Prof M-G
I humped with my black slut, LaToya.
With a sheet from my van,
I appeared Ku Klux Klan,
Arousing her deep paranoia.
I humped with my black slut, LaToya.
With a sheet from my van,
I appeared Ku Klux Klan,
Arousing her deep paranoia.
--- Ward Hardman
I lusted for her fanny to sluice.
But nocturnal emissions
From dreamt-of coitions,
Meant my gonads had run out of juice.
--- Jester Jon
That Sue put my organ to use.
When up rode a copper
To rescue my chopper,
And charge her with phallic abuse.
--- SFA
I left it for Pam to deduce
That the reason we'd meet
In this leaafy retreat,
Was my wife and three kids on the loose.
--- Jester Jon
The true reason why here that we frigged.
I told her offhand
That love inside was banned,
'Cause she farted as rank as a pig'd.
--- Jester Jon
I got pissed on brandy and wine.
Then while I was sleeping,
Tiddy Ogg came creeping
And screwed all my sheep, the foul swine.
--- David Miller
And once I agreed to explode 'em.
With those dandelions,
You can make vintage wines,
But I said, "Oh Hell" and I modem.
--- Al Willis T9710
Then with nitrates my garden I'm feeding.
But for whatever the reason,
It sure seems that this season,
I've spent most of my time out there weeding.
--- Bob Birch P9809
On my secret mission in the dark.
My progress impeded;
I just should have weeded --
With poison now I'll make my mark.
--- Marlene Lewis
In our yard. They've grown way past my knee.
Haven't kill bamboo root,
Though we yet again shoot
It with "brush-and-stump root killer" tea.
--- Hilde na Beag
I'm killing them all -- and their seeds.
I'll turn a blind eye
As they wither and die.
The night sky will hide my evil deeds.
--- Marlene Lewis
To kill, has gone into cahoots
With Chris, that old 'Sister.'
So every wise mister
Should run fast and far in his boots.
--- Travis Brasell
Knew all about plants, soil, and seed.
While some of his plants
Won prizes in France,
He never did learn how to weed.
--- Al Willis P9808
Once swallowed a packet of seeds,
In hopes some would grow
Where no man could go,
But all of her offspring were weeds.
--- John Miller 0256
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