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When you hear a word that's taboo, I'm in need of some psychoanalysis. Does BORE or does BOOR rhyme with WHORE? I traveled with Timmy McGrew A Scotsman told me, "It's uncanny; A foul-mouthed young fellow was Gene, I dined with the Duchess of Lee, (And felt it was one up to me.)
A nice college boy from Bolivia A tongue-tied young fellow named Trent Though at lying, my aunt is adroit, Even five-year-olds get a cheap thrill Says my alien friend, "They're so cute, For the record, you must not abuse I don't say "Goddamn!" to a priest, The balls are male objects that hang, Is it really considered a bang A woman whose wealth is long past Consider the scholar BLUESTOCKING, Anthropologist looks at map Petrified scat, or COPROLITE, COPROLITE, fossilized knob, An Englishman wanting a fag, The shag he expected, it's true, I find it is strangely uncanny, Saints preserve us from salacious A well-endowed stud "past the fuzz", If "hardcore" means rude and obscene, A figure of speech: When you're "Hung "Please define," teacher said to Bernard, An American friend while in England, These English boys move much to quick; A cuddley MASCOT was Franz, A good luck charm is the MASCOT, A young man who would have his vas cut, The commonest meanings of words Muliebrity, feminine mass, MULIEBRITY's not of a mule, "Dreck" sounds more cultured, that word, The meaning you give for ROCK-RIBBED I've learned a new word. it's SALACIOUS. "Shit" just isn't kosher -- like ham -- Should I do it or should I not? It's a while since I've seen the word 'taint'; TOOTHSOME as sexy's incredible; A prick's what you do with a thorn; A purse-grabbing thief makes a snatch, And yet all these words seem to mean His prick was so big that it ached, A man aspiring to higher office, If I may be brutally blunt, Thoughts on the word "cunt", if you please... There was a Polish gent called Dick; It emerged black and foul like Valdez, A German collector named Crocker Said a printer pretending to wit, Notes linguist professor, John Reece, The old etymologist Metters In the Army, they say it's no trifle: A sweet Polish miss, with real class, English diction is neat; A maxim, though wicked, I'd gauge, There was a young girl named Anheuser, There is a Quebecker named Buck Can coots toot a flute or play lute? Said a gloomy young fellow called Fart: But besides that there's reasons galore For the guys we have "Johnson" and "schlong"
Your duty, of course, is to boo.
But if the word's yours,
(Your booboo) you pause,
Then after you "boo", you "hoo hoo."
--- Irving Superior P9110
For all I can think about callous is:
Twats, asses, and tits,
Piss, farts, semen, shits,
Lips, tips, nipples, scrotums, and phalluses.
--- Cunning Linguist
Since Webster and Funk are not sure,
I polled twenty "hers"--
Which name each prefers--
And most of them showed me the door.
--- Irving Superior P9205
To Mali, the ladies to woo;
We found three, salacious,
And being voracious,
I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
On top of a lorry, my fanny
Rose and fell in the breeze.
I was striving to please
For the Laurie I trucked was named Annie."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8908
Rebuked for his language obscene;
But the foul words he knew
Were too utterely few,
And he used many words that were clean.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2081
Who asked, "Do you fart when you pee?"
I replied, with quick wit,
"Do you belch when you shit?
Say, Duchess, chalk one up for me."
--- Norman Douglas L0755
Joined a new game of off-color trivia.
But he couldn't compete
With the vulgar elite;
He was woefully weak in lascivia.
--- B Tepper a
Could never say just what he meant;
A word like "Confront
Would come out "You cunt" --
A blooper most women resent.
--- Armand E Singer 752
I don't see what she hopes to exploit.
By claiming a screw
Was in Kalamazoo,
But I know it took place in Detroit.
--- G2237
From that four-letter word they hear: KILL!
But should they say "fuck"
Their folks, thunderstruck,
Most likely will chastise them still.
--- John Miller
So why must you prime them to shoot
With a cold iron gun,
When the warm one's such fun?
If fact, it just doesn't compute!"
--- John Miller
The "F" word in my house. I choose
To find it offensive,
Need not be defensive,
I've a right in my home to such views.
--- John Miller
Speak of "Kikes" at a Synagogue feast;
So please hold your tongue
If you speak to my young
(If I'm within earshot, at least).
--- John Miller
Holding sperm that goes into the whang.
When the whang is erected,
The sperm are ejected,
They call this whole process "a bang".
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When not buried away in a skang?
I have detected
Sperm that's ejected,
When I'm sitting and whipping my wang.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Cannot as a BLUESTOCKING last,
Unless she first doffs
Her stocking for toffs,
Whose fortunes support their bombast.
--- Daniel Ford
A woman who's rarely ad hocking,
Who follows a plan,
Yet under her tan
Displays a history quite shocking.
--- Daniel Ford
Then puts fossils in bubble wrap.
COPROLITE it seems
Vaporizes dreams,
For it's all just the same old crap.
--- Darryl
Brings "passing stones" to a new light.
Was that coprolith
Just what he died with,
Or was he preparing to fight?
--- Daniel Ford
In anthropologist's job,
Is worthy of snoop,
'Cause in caveman's poop,
Tells if he ate corn on the cob.
--- Chris Papa a
Asked a girl if she'd one in her bag.
But she was from Yonkers,
And thought he was bonkers.
He explained, and she offered a shag.
--- Prof
Is tobacco to me and to you.
But he liked quite a lot
The sort that he got,
And told her, "That's nice; it will do."
--- Prof
How different the meanings of "fanny".
In the U S of A,
It can sit down all day,
But in Britain means feminine cranny.
--- Prof
Reports of women FELLATIOUS,
Not salubrious,
Not lugubrious,
Behaving in ways hellacious.
--- Daniel Ford
Shook his mate with a sneezing buzz.
"GESUNDHEIT!" she said
On the rocking bed.
He answered "It certainly does!"
--- Chris Papa
And explicit I guess it must mean;
We'd be frequently jumping
Each other and humping.
(I'm really not awfully keen.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
By your prick," it just means to be stung
By some sexual act,
When in actual fact,
State's evidence all came unstrung.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And 'indecent' showed up on the card.
Said Bernard, "I recall
What Ma told Uncle Paul:
"It's in decent when long and it's hard."
--- Albin Chaplin
Walked home with her new English friend.
He kissed her and asked her
"Can I knock you up later?"
She slapped him, thought "This is the end!"
--- Karen
Having slapped him she felt kind of sick.
"Knock you up" she learned later,
Is not "impregnate her",
He wanted to "call on" this chick.
--- Karen
Got crowds into waving their hands.
Till he lost his drawers,
They ran to the doors,
When everyone there saw his glans...
--- Darryl P
As Prince of Wales in his ascot,
But Balmoral Prince
Made his subjects wince
When in sling, he got his ass caught.
--- Daniel Ford
This is file opm
Saw bleary-eyed Doc, and bad gas got.
Cut wrong nerve, Surprise!
The darn thing won't rise;
Employed in a harem as MASCOT.
--- Chris Papa
May flit, like the flight of the birds
On a course, like that.
And if a wet cat
Should catch them, they'll soon become turds.
--- H Welchel
Seems, with a hasty look, crass,
And smarmy salute,
To be the word root,
For the lady known as "Piece of Ass."
--- Chris Papa
As controversy you would fuel.
With such remark coarse,
Of ass crossing horse,
Expect angry retorts, high joule.
--- Daniel
Or even in French form as "merde".
I'd even, old chap
Prefer you use "crap",
Or another good noun as absurd.
--- Chris Papa
(Repeated below -- I've just cribbed)
'With rocks' (that give germ?)
'Unyielding, and firm',
Both seem anatomically nibbed.
--- Nick
It's got something to do with fellatious.
Let's turn it all over;
It's Fellatio Hornblower.
And it's all mixed up with the fallacious.
--- Naz
So sip Maneschewitz, a dram.
The censors we toast,
And send forth our boast,
That "Frankly, we don't give a damn."
--- Chris Papa
Deciding has me tied in a knot.
I apply OCKHAM'S RAZOR;
It cuts like a laser.
Answer: "Shit or get off the pot!"
--- Norm
I remember the meaning was quaint.
Where pussy's posterior
Meets assholes anterior,
Though vulva nor anus it ain't.
--- Hugh Clary
Seems more like grinning through thread o' bull.
When deep in your heart,
You know the sex art
Includes playing with parts edible.
--- Daniel Ford
A wet pussy's a cat, so forlorn.
A boob is one who
Is as dumb as a shoe.
And a cock is what crows in the morn.
--- Jeanie
And hay on a roof makes a thatch.
A slit is a slot
For a tab or what-not...
And you blow to extinguish a match.
--- Jeanie
Quite something else most obscene.
It depends how they're used.
I've often perused
Lims where the meanings weren't clean.
--- Jeanie
And her pussy so wet while she quaked.
His cock she did blow
As his head dipped below
To her snatch, through the thatch that he raked.
--- Jeanie
Should use euphemisms, 'anal orifice',
Instead of the word 'asshole',
Which can blow a hole
In his carefully built edifice.
--- Harihari Subramanian
A prick or a cock is no cunt.
Some call it a box
For the storage of cocks,
Whose insertion elicits a grunt.
--- Laurence U
Some say it's vulgar and feel ill at ease.
Yet a "prick" or a "cock"
Elicits no shock.
Why should cunt be so different from these?
--- KAMS
Of his name he was truly sick.
He decided to change it,
Had the court rearrange it,
And now he calls himself Prick!
--- Alubda
And so then he sits up and he says,
"Now that it's had a dip,
I'll wipe it on your lip...
We call that a 'Dirty Sanchez.'"
--- Bigmick
Bought planes with the aid of Miss Knocker.
The least of the litter
They called Messer Schmitter; --
The largest they dubbed Mother Fokker.
--- Ferris T McMilford P8304
"There a certain bad words we omit.
It would sully our art,
To print the word f---,
And we never! Oh Never! Say sh--!"
--- L1597
"The plural of goose becomes 'geese';
Alumnus, 'alumni',
Two dice, one die,
But don't say 'Two feces', 'one fece'".
--- Armand E Singer 852a
Said that four-letter words had no betters.
To establish conformity
For a grevous deformity,
He proposed to spell PRIK with four letters.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2995
You must know your gun from your rifle.
You must learn the rule
For the use of each tool.
If your Sergeant won't tell you, your wife'll.
--- John Miller
Was buxom and had a nice ass;
But though slim and svelte,
Thought "Sanitary Belt"
Was a drink from a freshly washed glass.
--- Arthur Deex P8908
To listen to them is a treat.
The breast-feeding bit
That we call a 'TIT,'
They refer to correctly as 'TEAT."
--- Ed Wolfert P8208
Has a punch line unnervingly sage.
All women, they say
Are like dog turds since they
Are picked up with more ease as they age.
--- Dick Buenger P8911a
Who boasted no man could surprise her,
Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.
--- L0807
(I know what you're thinking -- you suck);
He just passed his orals
In protestant morals;
The rhyme I've in mind is Canuck.
--- Armand E Singer 779
Are hooters flute tooters to boot?
Route flute up coot flue,
And Zut! Cute and true!
The poot shoots of coots toot a flute!
--- Anon
"This name's bad enough for a start.
But my snob of a Dad
Makes it twice as bad,
With his Sir Mark Ffart-ffart, Bart."
--- Anon
Why there's fewer lims there and here more.
Like: You needn't be witty
Rhyming "clitty" with "titty",
And so MANY good things rhyme with "whore"!
--- Anon
When we tire of old "cock", "dick" or "dong"
For the girls what's up front
Is not merely a "cunt,"
There's a list of words two hundred long!
--- Anon
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