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There once was a mooner named Bonnet. A young lady lawyer named Hort, (Q.C. - ??)
Have you heard of Rocky Raccoon? That glass went the speed of a rocket, She often gets lots of snickers The well known pornography queen There was a young lady from Grasse, The opera's musical style A dude from Canberra named Square This Earth with strange folk does abound, Asteroids are rocky debris. A man from the small Isle of Wight Zero G's awkward for lovers, Though this lady may think she is thrilling, Today is the equinox day, An astronaut, fond of his flings, A philosopher finding a stone, A physicist readily shows The Antarctic's impossibly white, There once was a lady named Nancy An ass-fucking astronomer, Floyd, Yelled my Astro professor named Bob, When the race for the moon runs its course, An expert on things astrophysical Sex relations (in case you have missed them) The Pioneer probes will enlighten, (Probe In Outerspace, Nearly Extrasolar, Elicits Response)
When the lady was taking her schooling, Oh, planet names, yes I suppose The question we ask every night, Abductee, Sir Joseph O'Toole, Most females, it seems, can't absorb it, A vacuum's defined as a space Van Allen's Belt, at first glance The astronomer asked young Miss Ford A beautiful goddess named Quarm A star wanderer named Chase There was a young fellow named Cole Patrick Moore, while practising astronomy, Young Einstein was always on track, A black hole's mouth is agape; Dear S': I note with distress The negro astronomer Cole Light passed a black hole from Nantucket, Steven Hawking can prove with a plot The ladies in Cambridge are talking There once was a prof lacking prudence, The astronaut reached the event If you take out a home loan today, Scientist lately have said, The crash will be one for the books. "Aw shucks! It is going to miss!" Earth moves in elliptical orbits; In bed with his wife was old Seth, When the vast comet struck, it was light, A comet hit London kerPOW! There once was a lady named Nancy, When the great meltdown is nigh, We're about to crash into a planet The odds that the Earth is destroyed A comet called "Shoemaker-three" To scientists, my hat I doff, We have radar for jet aviation, (Bolide explosion over Atlantic)
There's a comet that rates as a "10"; (Vanilla Ice - ephermal music group)
Some folks in the east would have sworn, What was that strange UFO, To the spectators both far and near,
When asked of his best, be bragged on it.
"I once hung a moon
On a bright night in June,
And astronauts landed upon it."
--- David Miller
Was undoubtedly guilty of tort:
She'd peed in the tea
Of defendant's Q.C.
And dropped her briefs in full view of the court.
--- G2362
He got caught up in a typhoon.
Blown glass cut his fur cut,
Right off of his butt.
Now every night there's a full moon.
--- Marlene Lewis
His tail, as you say, it did dock it.
He surveyed that spot:
"At least I will not
Be worn by that damned Davy Crockett."
--- Anon
When doing yard work in her knickers.
But when they harrass,
She justs bares her ass,
And tells them all kindly to lick hers.
--- Anon
Sat on top of the Xerox machine.
She made copies en mass,
To peddle her ass,
In brochures with her piles tinted green.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0311
Who loved showing folks her bare ass.
With skirts up, and bent over,
She'd waddle through clover,
Which some people thought rather crass.
--- G2355
Grew tedious after a while.
To the company's rage,
I snuck onto the stage
And flashed them a vertical smile.
--- Dick Potts P8602a
Had an arse end all covered with hair.
When he mooned Mary Lou,
She freaked out. So would you.
Who can bear a Canberra can, bare?
--- Michael Weinstein P8611
Who think the Earth's flat and not round,
And it seems they cannot
Tell, I'm sure you know what,
From a hole which you find in the ground.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708a
If we look at them closely we see
Rocks that are crumbled,
And jumbled and tumbled,
Pulled 'round by the sun's gravity.
--- Parisi and Dye
Once went on a far eclipse flight.
The weather was bad,
Girls were not to be had,
And the moon veered away out of spite.
--- Isaac Asimov
Particularly pushers and shovers.
The problems of docking
And then interlocking,
Are greatly increased when one hovers.
--- Frank Ney
Her victims are far less than willing,
Amidst sci.astro curses
And Satanic verses,
Are simply her fodder for killing.
--- Greg Neill
So dark nights are now on the way.
But cold you can face
In a warm girl's embrace,
Or a sheep's, or a guy's if you're gay.
--- Tiddy Ogg
With a whore did spectacular things.
But just like the shuttle,
His troubles weren't subtle
When she blew out his faulty O-rings!
--- Neal Wilgus P8607
Said, "The history of this is unknown.
It might be from Mars,
Or one of the stars,
And no doubt cause the hole in the ozone!"
--- Observer
From the rate at which radiance grows
That matter, one day,
Will have fizzled away.
But the puzzle is how it arose.
--- T Thorneley P0111A
And its polar snow's ever so bright.
In December, all day,
I have heard people say:
"In midwinter, it's always midnight."
--- David Morin
Who made real astronomers antsy.
They'd talk themselves hoarse,
While Nancy, of course,
Still spouted what tickled her fancy.
--- Bill Owen
With his skinny boyfriend was annoyed.
"I've searched all of space
And can't find a trace
Of a brown hole or meatier 'roid."
--- Cyber Wizard
"What's the three-degree background, you slob?"
I replied, "Sad to say,
Ph.D. to B.A.
It is no guarantee of a job!"
--- Stargazer David M Smith
And women are sent there by force,
Will the men they embrace,
In the world's outer space,
Start to call making love, "outercourse"?
--- G2581A
Developed a countenance quizzical.
When I told him one day,
"Oh sir, I can say
Our relationship is purely physical."
--- Kay R Devicci
Feel so good that we just can't resist 'em.
So we placed a nude plaque
On a six-booster pack
And shot the thing out of our system.
--- Melvin B Lewis P8312
Inform, and in general, brighten
The evening's TV
Astronomically,
Notwithstanding the silence of Titan. (see first letters)
--- John M Ford P8211
The system she thought she was fooling.
By avoiding all science,
She proclaimed her defiance;
Now she's hopeless at sci.astro dueling.
--- Greg Neill
There are those who some would oppose.
When I asked young Janet,
"What's my fav'rite planet?"
She punched me right square in the nose.
--- Anon
As we look past the pale moon light:
Can there be anyone
Who lives far from the Sun?
Or is solitude our final plight?
--- Neal Krawetz
Now heads an astronomy school.
He longs for the feel
Of thin, probing steel.
That's why he's a star-gazing fool.
--- Anon
For the virile emission of Corbett
Extrudes far too fast:
The results of his blast
Are ten dollies today out in orbit.
--- G2566
Which objects of some sort did grace.
They've been taken away,
Just to where I can't say,
And nothing was put in their place.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708
Seems to cover a mighty expanse --
But a belt in the sky
Leaves me wondering why
No mention is made of the pants!
--- New Comic Lims P8211
This is file oim
If she ever the stars had explored.
She replied, "In the night
I see stars clear and bright,
When I lie on my back and I'm bored."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0147
Once stuffed a black hole where its warm.
Her imploding tang
Led to the Big Bang.
She's everywhere now, without form.
--- H Welchel
Fell through a black hole in space.
Having split and reknit,
He queried, troubled in wit,
"Did I reincarnate or efface?"
--- M B Spitzler P8309
Who ventured too near a black hole.
His dv by dt
Was quite wondrous to see,
But now all that's left is his soul.
--- A P French
Came across an enormous anomaly;
A giant pudenda
Not on his agenda,
Must be part of the Black hole ecomomy.
--- Anon
Explaining the ways of holes black.
"Giant star or comet,
Through space-warp GROMMET,
So now there's no light coming back!"
--- Chris Papa
And not even light can escape.
For a while, hit or miss,
Now, they're known to exist,
And folks are all bent out of shape.
--- Tom Campbell
The length of your yardstick is less,
And please wind your clock
To make it tick-tock
More briskly. Your faithful friend, S.
--- Edward H Green PR9703
Liked tail, though research was his goal;
By peering through glasses
At countless dark asses,
He found yet another black hole.
--- Armand E Singer 683
Where his pull was so great he would suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he pulled the light in,
"With Hawking radiation, I'll chuck it!"
--- David Morin et al
Whether we will or will not
Expand without limit
Or end in an intimate
Space which is all in one spot.
--- Larry Dahl A
'Bout a physicist named Stephen Hawking:
"He says the hole munches
Whatever it touches,
So it's pointless to mend this black stocking."
--- Haywire TP9804
Who studied a black hole's refusance
To show hide nor hair
Of what he tossed there,
Including the last of his students!
--- Robert Garisto
Horizon and Poof! He was bent
By a squeezing sensation,
"Spaghettification",
When sucked through the black hole's keen vent.
--- Randog
With a full thirty years to repay,
You'll be owner in full
Just when gravity's pull
Sends a meteor crashing your way!
--- Prof M-G
A meteor soon will imbed
Itself in the Earth;
For all that it's worth,
How many species will it make dead?
--- Arden
No more sea birds will rest in their nooks.
No more summer days
Along beaches and quays,
And all summer eve, I'll Miss Brooks.
--- Irish
Said the little green man with a hiss.
"Perhaps we should budget
Enough power to nudge it
To an orbit preciser than this?"
--- John Miller
Perigee, apogee sure fits.
Let's hope it avoids
Those big asteroids;
They'd burn us to ass destroyed-bits
--- Anon
From straining he seemed out of breath.
When the meteor struck,
By a stroke of good luck,
He came as he went to his death.
--- Bob Birch P9809
But the dust laden air brought the night,
And the subsequent gloom
Spelled the small planet's doom.
In the end, Chicken Little was right.
--- A N Wilkins P9811
Said the last one alive, "Holy cow!
Hope and glory have passed.
I'm the first and the last...
I'm the alpha and omega now.
--- Rory Ewins Q
Whose musings on sci.astro were fancy.
The 12th planet was said
To hit us on the head,
All because gravity is so chancy.
--- Paul Campbell
And the flames everywhere reach the sky,
I'll say "Goodbye, Rover,"
And lean real far over,
And then kiss my big ass goodbye.
--- Al Willis
Made almost entirely of granite.
They're trying to block it
By means of a rocket,
But no-one seems willing to man it.
--- Anon
By the recently-found asteroid:
Only one in a thousand,
Not two in a thousand,
So relax and don't be paranoid.
--- Dr Limerick 11-07-00
Dropped into the Caspian Sea;
Although it would pale
On the grand cosmic scale,
'Twas sufficient to vaporize me.
--- Nick D Kim
But at spatial statistics, I scoff.
There's more dingleberries
Than butt holes. My worry's
The "ass to rhoid" ratio's off.
--- Irish
And satellites, missiles, space stations;
Hundreds of telescopes
Surrounding the globe;
They all missed the stellar cremation.
--- Dr Limerick
"Dirty snowball" it's called now and then.
They should take my advice,
Call the thing "Vanilla Ice";
It'll never be heard from again.
--- Larry Hollister
That last evening's sky had been torn
By a bright fireball,
That streaked and did fall
On a field in PA full of corn.
--- David Lauridsen
That caused the night sky to glow?
Well, the mystery is solved
And the question resolved.
Here's the answer, just so you'll know.
--- David Lauridsen
That are asking, "What did I hear?"
The boom and the flash
Was simply the crash
Of Gary Condit's career.
--- David Lauridsen
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