With a flash and a sparkle of light,
A meteor falls in the night;
I really can't say
If they fall in the day;
If they do, they are not very bright.
--- Lims Unlimited

Our world in the future, I fear,
So different, will likely appear;
With technology's change,
It will surely be strange,
That's if the damn planet's still here!
--- Cap'n Bean

A stargazer out in St. Kitts,
Is often shook up, he admits.
An eclipse of the moon
Throws him into a swoon;
Shooting stars scare him out of his wits.
--- Anon

If this globe's ever scorched by a fire,
I will not lie down on a pyre.
So listen here fellows,
I'll get some marshmallows;
I'll enjoy this life ere I expire.

(And like Nero I'll strum on my lyre.)
--- Al Willis P9809

A loony from Oldham has bet -
And a million to one he will get -
That on Aug 29
In 1999,
The world ends... How will he collect?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a Zetan named Nancy;
Plain physics did not strike her fancy.
She proclaimed Hale-Bopp
Was about to stop;
But right about now it looks chancy.
--- Craig Berry

If it hits while you're taking a bath,
And your tub is smack dab in the path,
Both the town's undertaker
And your Heavenly Maker
Are quite likely to have a good laugh.
--- Bob Birch P9809

I stand awestruck and watch Hale-Bopp pass
Musing, two thousand years will amass
Till its next scheduled run
With tail aimed at the sun.
That's a long time to be passing gas.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9705

I wouldn't have missed Hale-Bopp, not on a bet --
The most spectacular comet seen yet!
Across the street, one starry night,
I went to avoid the bright street light,
And to get as close to it as I could get!
--- Monique de Plume

Driving home in my '64 Chevy,
I was struck by a thought that was heavy:
What if good old Hale-Bopp
From the heavens should drop,
It would cream us like Shoemaker-Levy!
--- Larry Hollister

For months now, dear Nancy has said,
"You act just like sheep who've been led."
A claim so patho-illogical,
Like her posts pedagogical,
I think she's been Hale-Bopped on the head.
--- Mark Gingrich

There was an old comet in space
That had a long tail, but no face.
Said the comet one day,
"I like being this way.
If you want to know why, sent a SASE."

(SASE - self addressed stamped envelope)
--- Sam Shaffe P8512

As I wait for the comet named Halley
(Or Halley, 'though I prefer Halley),
I'll practice this daily
To orate like a Yalie:
"Ave atque vale, comet Halley!"
--- Bill Railford P8512

From the world, his discovery brought cheers;
From his wife, it brought nothing but tears;
"For you see," said Ms. Halley,
"He used to come daily,
Now its once every 76 years."
--- Arthur Deex P0103

It was last nineteen-ten when on high
Halley's comet appeared in the sky.
Those were halcyon days,
But our present "malaise"
Makes the comet pass rapidly by.
--- Mitzi C Kuehl P8512

Halley's comet can be seen in the sky,
Provided that you're sober or dry.
But drink a few drinks
And wink a few winks
And ten tails will appear on the sly.
--- Baumhaft & Fowler P8512

Halley's comet again rides the sky,
Arcing above us on high.
An impressive sight,
But during the night
It's the length of the tail makes me sigh.
--- June Sullivan P8512

Dame Halley said, "Dear, 'twould be nice
To land on that planet a trice.
It sure wouldn't hurt
To have some of that dirt
To mix with this fire and ice."

(1st prize, 85 Integra contest)
--- W P Williams P8512

World War I, Hitler's rise, World War II.
Viet Nam was a real witches' brew!
Yet, I'd like to be here
In that magical year
When Halley's comet comes due.
--- Mitzi C Kuehl P8512

Halley's Comet came spiralling down,
And landed on top of George Brown.
He shouted rude names
And burst into flames;
Now he's the toast of the town.
--- Bill Wall

Sometimes from the outer spaces,
A comet visits sunny places.
As it is warmed,
A tail is formed
That leaves behind some dusty traces.
--- Parisi and Dye

There once was a comet named Linear,
As bright as Praesepe, but skinnier.
It broke up one day
In a fragmentary way,
And now it can't be found anywhere.
--- Tom Campbell

A meteor once came to pass,
And it landed right here, on the grass.
As I sat on the bowl
Of my outhouse's hole,
The debris traveled right up my ass.
--- Cap'n Bean P9809

My state was visited by a meteor;
They say it landed on the desert floor.
Many saw it, they said,
All flaming and red.
They want to find it, I don't know what for
--- Anon

In the darkest part of the wee hours,
Away from the town's candlepower,
If you got out of bed,
You'd have seen, overhead,
The Leonid Meteor Shower.
--- Dr Limerick 11-19-01

I was watching the heavens one night
When I glimpsed an object quite bright.
The meteor streaked down
Without making a sound,
And promptly disappeared out of sight.
--- Tom Campbell

I was in my yard cutting the grass
When it came in amazingly fast
I know where it fell
I'm embarrassed to tell
The damn thing buried itself up my ass.
--- Anon

Bill Clinton was grabbed by a cop:
"From smoking that weed you must stop."
"I don't, sir, feel high,
Like that thing in the sky;
I swear I did not inHale-Bopp."
--- Anon

This thing that's called Halley's Comet,
I wouldn't make wishes upon it.
I would hesitate
To base my whole fate,
Or even to comment upon it.
--- M Hale

I doubt if you could ever pawn it;
This fuzz-ball idea of a comet.
Passers-by it
May pause to eye it,
But I cannot think of who'd want it.
--- M Hale

The media now will flaunt it.
Some fool will then write a sonnet.
We looked high and low
For the spectacular show,
And right there it was, dog-gone it.
--- M Hale

From down out of the sky came a rock,
It's full impact was felt for a block,
And she came as it hit,
While he yelled out "Oh Shit!"
As they felt the earth move from the shock.
--- Bob Birch P9809

There was a professor named Sagan,
Who pondered how life did begin.
"From the stars we did come,
And when we are done,
Our death is another's origin."
--- Tom Campbell

This is file ohm

Astronomers were full of emotions,
Trying to predict orbital motions.
Copernicus solved the riddle:
He put the Sun in the middle,
And laid to rest all other notions.
--- Tom Campbell

"Copernicus, this is a hoax.
Although it may bamboozle some folks,
That the Earth circles round
Its own Sun, does sound
Like one of your damned Polish Jokes."
--- A N Wilkins P8908

Copernicus gave his reply
To those who had pledged to deny.
"All your additions
To ancient convictions
Won't bring back your place in the sky."
--- David Morin et al

The famous astronomer Halley
Whose ambition was to dance ballet,
Did a pas de deux
In a tutu of fur
When his comet was next to Spring Valley.
--- Anon

Stephen Hawking's "no boundary" condition
Puts God in an awkward position.
With nothing to do,
His purpose is through,
So He might as well fix my transmission.
--- Kay R Devicci

Said that well-known cosmologist Hawking:
"Stop arguing, cut out the squawking.
If you're asking who knows
How the universe goes,
Then you'd better let me do the talking.
--- Joan M Freeman P0111

A clever professor named Hoyle
After decades of study and toil,
To prominence sprang
Saying, "Hang the BIG BANG",
He was never Astronomer Royal.
--- Odd Bodkins P0109

In youth, his hair grew like a weed,
But Old Hubble was balding, indeed.
"I know that I ought
To make this constant a naught,
Then my hairline will never recede."
--- Devlin Gualtieri

There once was a Bell engineer
Named Jansky, who had a good ear.
When the Archer was high,
His radio would cry;
"It's coming from space", he would cheer.
--- Tom Campbell

An eminent scientist, Jeans,
Expounds what "The Universe" means.
His views about God
Are held to be odd,
By numerous bishops and deans.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Johannes Kepler's First Law was this:
Orbits aren't round, but ellipse.
With the Sun at one foci,
The planets do fly by,
And achieve harmonious bliss.
--- Tom Campbell

Elliptical orbits were still on his mind,
So the Second Law he quickly devined:
When plotting their motion,
He got the notion
Of equal area in equal time.
--- Tom Campbell

The Third Law is hard to discuss;
But understand it we must.
When two planets are compared,
The ratio of their periods squared
Is the cube of there orbital radius.
--- Tom Campbell

Galileo built a telescope of brass;
Peered at Jupiter through his spy glass.
He sat there astounded;
Four moons were around it!
He was going to be famous at last.
--- Tom Campbell

The ORRERY that was displayed,
On the scheme that Galileo made,
Was not the one done
Of Earth tailed by the Sun.
It left true believers dismayed.
--- Chris Papa

Astronomers have their own goals
To discover Sol's holes and their roles,
As they gaze in the sky,
But I want to know why
The earth has so many assholes.
--- Anon

If one took the time to compare
The sum of the roots of the square
Of the distance proportional
To forces distortional,
You'd see assholes just come from thin air.
--- Anon

The next question is where do they go.
Well the answer I'm sure we all know.
As one might have suspected,
They all get elected
And turn up on Larry King's show.
--- Anon

That sun-centered model, ORRERY,
Was surely greeted as horrory
And caused the maker
To flee Pope's raker,
And take up residence borderly.
--- Daniel Ford

Hawking couldn't walk, it is true.
But his brain needed something to do.
So he thought about mass
And collapsed balls of gas,
And his reputation sure grew.
--- Tom Campbell

Brahe, astronomer extraordinaire,
Pursued heavenly bodies with flair.
His interests astronomical
Had relevance anatomical:
He had Stella, his helper, go bare!
--- Macsam

For years, Brahe sat down on one spot;
Orbital positions he decided to plot.
He was able to pin it
To within an arcminute,
And helped the astronomers a lot.
--- Tom Campbell

Galileo said, "My inquest proves
That the Earth is the object that moves.
But THE INQUEST, alas,
Will fry my mortal ass
If the power in Rome disapproves."
--- William N Nesbit P9707 a

While watching a cannonball's motion,
Galileo conceived of the notion
That natural laws,
Not mystical Cause,
Ruled the physical world's locomotion.
--- Martin J Murphy PR9703

Though its own view was mostly confused,
The Church was not greatly amused
With this flaunting of Deo
By old Galileo,
And ordered it quickly defused.
--- Rick Nelson

So the Pope sent some priests who inquired
If it wouldn't be best he retired?
"Undoubtedly you know
What we did for Bruno;
Do you also wish to be fired?"
--- Martin Murphy

He asked an old Cardinal's opinion:
"Pray tell me, Your Grace, if you will then,
Does this mean what I think?
That henceforth I must shrink
From discussing my clever perception?"
--- Martin Murphy

Said Bellarmine, "No, it is not a ban;
If you want to keep teaching of course you can.
They merely have said
To take care where you tread
And smile when you say thing Copernican."
--- Martin Murphy

Unbeknownst to our venerable dissident
The records said something quite different.
When the Pope saw the note
The inquisitors wrote,
He lost what remained of his temperament.
--- Martin Murphy

The message the Vatican sent
Was blunt in its stated intent:
"Recant all this heresy
Quick or we harass thee,
Now 'til your life has been spent."
--- Martin Murphy

In facing the dread inquisition,
Few men could defend their position;
So it shouldn't surprise
When we are apprised
Of old Galileo's decision.
--- Martin Murphy

"Explaining celestial motion
Needs more than just faith and devotion.
But to save my poor head
I'll recant what I've said,
Though I'll secretly keep to my notion".
--- Martin Murphy

So our friend the illustrious Florentine
Spent his last years in Vatican quarantine;
Locked up in his home
By the prelates of Rome,
For being a cosmical libertine.
--- Martin Murphy

The Church caused a major imbroglio
By correcting Copernicus' folio.
Yet it couldn't discern
The abuse it would earn
In forbidding the whole Dialogo?
--- Martin Murphy