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By killing Sidereus Nuncius In spite of the Vatican's dissuasion, With millions of rocks to determine, Trans-Neptunian object? No dice! An astronaut, trained and adroit, Eclipses were once fairly cryptic, There was an old woman from Pismo They've found a new moon called Iapetus Because Jupiter's bulk is so heavy, The largest planet is Jupiter. Jupiter's largest of all; There once was a fellow named Percival; Mars is the planet that's red. The red planet is passing close by; But some reckon they know what it's for, An astronomer scanning the sky, The Mars rock amazed all the nations. A small rock once fell from the sky; To Mars we are sending space missions A milestone in reaching the stars, Between morning and evening it flips There's a planet we know we call Mercury; Far out in the dark and the ices, A beautiful cobalt blue, On the twenty-first evening of June, Pluto's the farthest of all. Though Pluto is deemed to be double When the planet count totaled up nine, It's a symbol of stately resplendence, Of beautiful Saturn I sing, We've entered the month we call June; Our telescopes show the Moon bare. A child of the Universe, I'm one, I suppose everybody's all seen us An Earth-sized planet is Venus, The twilight's when Venus emerges There was a star gazer of Burton, The surface of Venus I dread; The earth is quite tilted, we know, The Earth is a comfortable station We all know the planet called Earth. If the earth should explode in the air, This pure nonsense verse will mayhap please, There once was a boy from Rabat, There once was a planet called Gaiea, There once was a planet called Earth There is a small germ on a flea, The cat, flea, and all are just grime, There once was a planet called Terra, There once was a planet called Earth, As we grow up, we open an ear, A small circle of pale greenish-blue An astronomy teacher named Janus Uranus rolls 'round on its side, "When I noticed the satellite's grayness Embarrassed and terribly shy, No doubt you may think this absoid, An astronomy student named Yearly To his wife said astronomer Janus. An astronomer, pious but odd To his wife said astronomer Janus, Lil' Pluto is cold as witch tit, Under the stars waxed a lecher most heinous. The Astronomy students would tell, The fourth-brightest star is Arcturus. (Yiddish for trouble)
Alpha centauri's a binary star,
For the news that their views were defunctus,
The renaissance ended
And darkness descended
Upon the Dominican dunces.
--- Martin Murphy
Galileo still rose to the occasion.
Though once deemed heretical,
He proved more prophetical
That those of a clerical persuasion.
--- Martin J Murphy PR9703
And orbital paths to confirm in
Exacting precision,
I say with derision,
"Asteroids are celestial vermin!"
--- Alex Heydon P0408
Folks on Pluto reacted with ice.
The attack they did mount;
Forced a NASA recount:
Back to nine planets; eight don't suffice!
--- Prof M-G
The frontiers of space did exploit.
He could walk with disdain
On the moon's bleak terrrain,
But could not walk the streets of Detroit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8211
But now they require no great mystic.
It happens, as a rule,
When with New Moon or Full,
Occurs while it's on the ecliptic.
--- Tom Campbell
Who invented a wonderful gizmo,
That caused men of girth
To orbit the earth;
Now there's always full moons over Pismo!
--- Anon
That points a immense global cap at us.
Then it convulses and shakes
Its immense molten lakes,
And ejects steaming jets of hot crap at us.
--- Chuck Davis a
It has moons in a regular bevy.
No wonder its girth
Is wider than Earth,
It's been feeding on Shoemaker-Levy!
--- Alex Heydon P0408
I learned about it on my computer.
Clouds twisting orange
Like rust on a door hinge;
Before I knew this, I was stupider.
--- Parisi and Dye
A hydrogen helium ball.
Twisting clouds humor us;
Moons that are numerous;
Comparing the two, Earth is small.
--- Parisi and Dye
An astronomer most unmerciful.
But instead of the stars,
He kept looking at Mars,
And thought the canals were immersible.
--- Tom Campbell
It might have had life, but looks dead.
It's dusty and rusty
With winds that are gusty.
It's cold there so cover your head.
--- Parisi and Dye
A rare sight of this giant in our sky.
Thirty five million miles
To its strange volatiles,
That resist man's attempts should he pry.
--- Doug Harris P0609
The first astral visit since Thor.
Sent earthwards by Odin
To maintain status quo. Sin
Indeed to think we're Gods of War.
--- Doug Harris P0609
The orbit of Mars did espy.
If the Earth it does hit,
Then we're deep in the shit.
As for Earth, we can wave it goodbye.
--- Edwin Pugh P0609
The scientists cheered with elation.
Others share the good news,
Still looking for clues...
And listening at their SETI stations.
--- Mary Singer
It carried a message from high.
I come from the stars,
I'm your father from Mars,
So give me a hug, and say Hi!
--- Cathy Anderson
That study the surface conditions,
And close up, verify
What astronomers spy,
When the planet comes to oppositions.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
Is to "terraform" deserts on Mars,
And make them appear
Like the deserts down here,
Fairly littered in derelict cars.
--- Alex Heydon P0402
As it runs its eccentric ellipse.
And when Mercury's seen
Precisely between,
It produces a tiny eclipse.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
It orbits the Sun in a hurry.
Only eighty-eight days
To go 'round all the way.
It's a wonder it doesn't look blurry.
--- Parisi and Dye
Where solar heat barely suffices,
Neptune sits lonely,
Visited only
By one of our spacecraft devices.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
Neptune's a planet, it's true.
With winds that blow fast
And blizzards of frozen gas,
Its eight moons must have quite a view!
--- Parisi and Dye
I went out for a gaze at the moon;
It was glowing and round,
As it rose from the ground,
Floating high like an orange balloon.
--- Cap'n Bean P0508
Compared to the rest, it is small.
Of features and such,
We don't know very much,
Because Pluto is such a small ball!
--- Parisi and Dye
Its status is plainly in trouble.
A planet? Not clearly.
Some say it is merely
A fragment of Kuiper belt rubble.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
All the school teachers thought it just fine.
Now that Pluto's demoted,
The textbooks devoted
To science must change their design.
--- Randog
With its beautiful ring in extendence.
If well magnified,
Faint moons can be spied,
That Saturn keeps close in attendance.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
A light fluffy puffball type thing.
We know from the math,
It would float in the bath.
Of course, it would leave a big ring.
--- Parisi and Dye
The solstice will be with us soon;
Our daylight is high,
Its zenith is nigh;
The rays from the sun are bestrewn.
--- Cap'n Bean P0307
No rentals, no cabs anywhere.
No autos, just lots
Of small moving spots.
One giant step and you are there.
--- Irving Superior P9203
And living on Earth sure is fun.
I take, with much pride,
My free annual ride;
A colorful trip 'round the sun.
--- Friar
This is file ogm
Discussing these issues of Venus,
But I must make clear,
That everyone here
Expected a mention of penis.
--- Anon
But there's not much in common between us.
Acid clouds keep it hot;
A paradise it's not.
On Venus the weather is heinous!
--- Parisi and Dye
And blazes with luminous splurges.
Try keeping your eyes on
It to the horizon,
And watch as it ebbs and resurges.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
Whose answers were rather uncertain;
When they said, "How is Venus?"
He thought they said, "Penis"
And answered, "The darn thing's been hurtin'"
--- Edwardian Leer 100
It's heated so hot it melts lead.
I'm so glad, I declare,
That we do not live there,
For I fear that we all would be dead.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708
As around our own Sun it does go.
At twenty three point five degrees,
It spins with such ease,
And changes the seasonal show.
--- Tom Campbell
From which to conduct observation.
A nice steady brace
For a telescope base,
Except for that irksome rotation.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
We call it the home of our birth.
Seas, mountans, and air,
Life is found everywhere.
It's a planet of obvious worth.
--- Parisi and Dye
We will all go to join Fred Astaire.
The planet's so small,
It won't matter at all.
The universe really won't care.
--- Al Willis
Though it could make some feel ill at ease.
Said the Man in the Moon
Viewing earth in late June,
"From up here it resembles Green Cheese."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0207
Who said, "But I know the Earth's flat.
Why, if it were round,
We'd roll on the ground.
But we don't, so it's not, and that's that."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Where Miller was known as a player.
He poked and he prodded
And when his come clotted,
Discovered he had gonorrhea.
--- Randog
Whose name was a topic of mirth.
For three of its quarters
Were covered with waters;
The remainder has given us birth.
--- Mr E
On a cat on a limb on a tree,
On a lawn in Rangoon,
On an orb with one moon,
In a gravity well called Sol 3.
--- Anon
Who feel it ain't easy to climb.
They don't understand
A flick of my hand,
Is flushing a loo in space-time.
--- Anon
Which God once created in error.
No problem: Debased,
It will soon be erased;
Of this good news I'm proud to be bearer.
--- John Miller
Whose women sought men with great girth,
To fill up their kitties
While squeezing their titties,
And pumping for all they were worth.
--- Randog
Exploring the cosmic frontier.
In this coming of age,
We turn in our cage,
All alone on a tiny blue sphere.
--- David Morin et al
Is Uranus, the first of the new.
This planet was found
Beyond Saturn's bound
And discerned to be tilted askew.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
Suggested, While trying to train us,
"The study of stars
Is not learned in bars;
I urge you to look up Uranus."
--- David Miller
With rings that stretch far and wide.
A big ball of gas,
As green as the grass,
It's the name that I just can't abide.
--- Parisi and Dye
In space," said astronomer Janus,
"Perineum's the name
That I chose for its fame,
Since I found it right next to Uranus."
--- Anon
His mother, she started to cry,
When astronomer Fred
Yelled, "Hey, Mom, look ahead -
Uranus is up in the sky!"
--- Cap'n Bean
But Uranus is red (have you hoid?)
No wonder it's red;
It's due to bloodshed.
It has a great big hemorrhoid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said he thought his girl acted queerly
When he told his delight
"I was counting tonight
Upon seeing Uranus more clearly."
--- Arthur Wilkins P8911
"New facts from the skies entertain us.
Those farts heard on the moon
Did not come from Rangoon.
I suspect that they came from Uranus.
--- Al Chaplin P8507a
(To be honest, a dirty old sod),
Who'd searched for a sign
Of the presence divine,
Cried, "I've just found Uranus, dear God!"
--- Linda Marsh Coll
"Much renown in the world we will gain us,
When I publish my paper
On the ungodly vapor
And the rings I have seen on Uranus."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2133
And Neptune will make you frostbit.
Our favorite waste drop?
Sol Seven's our stop;
Uranus is where we dump shit.
--- H Welchel
To the girl, "Don't let morals restrain us.
Though I've made a career,
Out of Venus, my dear,
I am tempted to switch to Uranus."
--- Ashland Lions Club P9012
Their female professor, Miss Nell:
"We want you to train us,
To look at Uranus...
(And catch sight of your pussy as well!)"
--- Anon
Far enough from the Earth to inure us
To the thought that there's life
Somewhere there to cause strife,
Or as Grandma would say, "To cause tsuris."
--- Mimi
The distance to which is quite far.
Said Einstein one night,
"To measure, use light.
Then it's only 4.3 Jahr!"
--- Chris Matthews P0111
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