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Before Planet Earth was created, Will a space alien from afar Cassiopeia said, "Sorry to trouble you, A brown stain, persistent as moles, There once was greedy old star Our galaxy's a glorious sight; M42 is a nebula grand; William Herschel worked hard in the night; The astronomer, "Specious" McBain, An astronomer from far Arecibo Long ago, the econ profession The dependable star we call Sol An astronomer, down in his cellar, Said an astronaut stuck in his Gemini, Every year the sun never does fail Say a a cheer for a Taurean male! A man whose studies were Zodiacal, A million billion stars are swirling. High velocity clouds can be found An astronaut, Captain McTavity, Astronomers new in days of old, Darwinians worry me so; An astronomiss happily sang, Using this technique, physicist Leary, Great minds have been known to recite, There was a materialist who, Said a deep thinking Fellow of Trinity Science said a Big Bang was recorded; Earth quivers and quakes every day, Imagine strange weather surprises, I wonder who turned off the lights; The end of the planet is nigh In Nineteen Ninety Nine, my dear friend, Some believe these predictions are pith, A fellow from Bristol, called Neeve, Said a Flat Earth guy, "Well, I'll be dipped! The Flat Earth Society chief God said, "I find no delight (Hubble constant)
Of gravity, people have dealt The cosmos according to Hubble Asked Kepler, "Is it a mere notion As the cosmos expands, growing flatter, The accountant was ranting and hissing! There was an old man who observed, An object which travels in space, Our Sun is a hot ball of gas, There was a professor called Dingle, With reference to certain grave matters, Velikovsky's adherents take pride Velikovsky the ephemerist Or perhaps the poor fellow was drunk, But the men with a scientific yen We've come to expect men of science For it seems that religion has not Because Science is an oligarchy, Point of interest for scientists not clergy, I guess the CONUNDRUM's the same, On cosmology I'll not pretend, Einstein's theory and the speed of light, An intergalactic explorer, The night was as clear as could be. My daughter this night called to me: Hervelius on a clear night did view (And I thought space was curved - McW)
There was a young Scotsman from Clune, Infinite galaxies all, Many a night finds me gazing I dream of a night on the sea --
No egos were highly inflated,
And nobody gloated
As galaxies floated,
And there weren't any people who hated.
--- Limber Limericks
Think the human race is less than par?
Should we be ashamed
Just because we have named
Our galaxy for a candy bar?
--- Tom Patton P9707
But I find that I'm seeking another view,
As to what eyes do see
Looking skyward for me,
And all they can find is a double-u."
--- Ystap TP9802
Surrounds where them queers poke their poles.
Astronomers heed:
I've oft done the deed --
That's why Sol's corona has holes.
--- Anon
Who ate all the mass, near and far.
It finally off-gassed
A huge stinky blast,
And that's why we are what we are.
--- Anon
Millions of stars help it shine bright.
Called the Milky Way,
It's gone during the day,
But shows up quite nicely at night.
--- Tom Campbell
It has the shape of a fan.
Inside are four suns
That make a trapezium,
Each sparkling like dew in the sand.
--- Tom Campbell
For discovering Uranus, he became a knight.
But his nebulae catalog
Made astronomers all agog;
Even today, it can cause delight.
--- Tom Campbell
Who, for the treasured Nobel did fain,
Couldn't prove that he saw
Change in Andromeda,
For he found data keeping a strain.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0208
Saw life in the region of Leo.
They said it was clear
That the local strong beer,
Was more than a gentle placebo.
--- Mike O'Conner
Thought sunspots could cause a depression,
By ruining crops,
But now commerce stops
When solar flares fuzz up transmissions.
--- Dr Limerick 03-31-01
Is a turbulent gaseous ball.
Such is its dominance,
Even a prominence
Makes each of the planets look small.
--- Alex Heydon P0408
Told his girlfriend he wanted to smell 'er.
So she took off her clothes,
And he buried his nose,
And exclaimed, "Your aroma is stellar?"
--- Cap'n Bean
"I'm afraid, as things stand presently,
The latch on the hatch
Has a catch that won't catch --
And the view may be getting more heavenly."
--- Richard Rhodes P8211
To complete its slow traversing trail.
Unrelenting in pace,
Unswerving in trace,
And oblivious to our travail.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0406
As a bed-mate light-years past the pale;
Us hornier cows're
The first to shout "Yowsa!"
Let's all grab the bull by the tail!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8905
Of an intensity almost maniacal,
Would often stare
At Ursa the Bear,
The major of which is Kodiacal.
--- L Kintz or Dick Ford
A trillion zillion planets are twirling.
How conceited we be
To think that only we
Here, have intelligence unfurling.
--- Lynn Mostafa
And in galaxies' disks they abound.
Now although superbubbles
Have given great troubles,
The model called "fountain" is sound.
--- Anon
Maintained that it was not depravity
Which made men on the flight
Laugh and chuckle all night,
But merely the absence of gravity.
--- A N Wilkins P8406
APHELION meant, as they told
For what it was worth,
That folks here on Earth
Might expect that they soon would feel cold.
--- Chris Papa
They say the Lord is a no-no.
But this bright new gang
Studied the Big Bang,
Found a sound, just before, that went "Uh, Oh!"
--- Gunjan Saraf
"I've been screwed by the telescope gang,
They all had a bit o' me,
For I'm the epitome
Of the grandly impressive Big Bang."
--- Isaac Asimov A
Solved a cosmological query.
He marshalled his facts
As he reached his climax,
Which is why it is called Big Bang Theory.
--- Anon
Or in papers they publish, to write
That before time began,
There occurred a Big Bang --
But the theory is always a fright!
--- Chris Marks
When asked how the universe grew
Said "Cos theta sin phi
By the cube root of pi
All over factorial Q."
--- Geoffery Martin
Replied: "That is pure asininity.
Nay, rather I'd say
It's the xth power of j
Divided by minus inifinity."
--- Geoffery Martin
Is outer space too getting sordid?
It banged Ursa Major,
Then sought to engage her;
"I'm innocent," Clinton retorted.
--- Anon
In relations with Sol, so some say.
Does the Earth get its rocks
On rude aftershocks,
Or is this just cosmic foreplay.
--- John Miller 0341
Hail and snowballs of asteroid sizes;
Seeking shelter you pray,
Then you swelter next day,
Too much heat when a double sun rises.
--- Joel D Ash P0410
I wonder who cause us such frights.
With the prices so high,
I have to ask, "Why?
Can't we simply eliminate nights?"
--- Bob Birch P0105
For that great fiery ball up on high
Means we're doomed to be...Eh?
What's that did you say?
Are you sure that's the Sun in the sky?
--- Peter Wilkins
The world as we know it, will end.
Be it nuke or a comet,
Mountain base, summit,
These thought can drive you 'round the bend.
--- Mushroom
This is file ofm
And have salt to take them a pinch with.
But I think it is true,
Just between me and you,
It'll end on September the fifth!
--- Mushroom
Was seriously led to believe
That, the world being flat,
If once lost, your cat
Would be terribly hard to retrieve.
--- Michael Palin
Global Warming should surely be skipped.
If we like it or not,
When the Earth gets too hot,
Like a pancake we'll just have it flipped."
--- Tom Patton P0310
Today heaved a sigh of relief.
"The talk of global warming
To us is no warning,
'Cause the globe's a ficticious belief."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0309
In my constant H's sad plight.
Is it high? is it low?
They simply don't know.
(And I'm not quite sure which is right.)
--- David Halliday
Out theories. The best was I felt:
Was why not everyone
Crashing into the sun?
Earth's held up by the asteroid belt.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Expands like the soap of a bubble.
Let's hope it's not closed;
It would then be disposed
To shrink to a point, and that's trouble.
--- David Morin et al P0111
Or a strange result of that potion
Which I last ingested.
Besides being bested
My head spins in unlawful motion."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9707
The cosmologists argue and chatter
About that which he knows,
Or massive neutrinos --
They want to know what's the (dark) matter.
--- K R Devicci P0111
Such an audit was not of our wishing!
But such was our state,
An astronomer's fate,
Since some of our mass was found missing.
--- Devlin Gualtieri
"I confess I am somewhat unnerved.
I had never before
Seen the truth of the lore
That, where matter is, space must be curved!
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
A circular orbit will trace.
Yet notions persist
That a force does exist
Which makes a straight path commonplace.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9708
Which has just a medium mass.
It will someday explode
When it gets too old,
When it becomes a White Dwarf, alas.
--- Tom Campbell
Who made physicist's nerve-endings tingle.
His travelling clocks
Caused grave mental blocks,
In those who felt time should stay single.
--- Anon
Our nebulous suddenly shatters.
Just then with great awe,
I suddenly saw
That our vacuum now shows up in tatters.
--- Baxter Sperry P0111
In past worlds inclined to collide.
Though not in compliance
With canons of science,
They cite more than facts can provide.
--- Paul Niquette
Must be daft as a brush to insist
That Venus collided
With Mars and then glided
To where, to this day, it persists.
--- Alexander Baron
Or as mad as an old Tsarist monk.
For when one analyses
His weirdo surmises,
And theories, they show up as bunk!
--- Alexander Baron
Won themselves little credit back then,
By the paranoid treatment
They gave to his statement,
Supressing the works of his pen.
--- Alexander Baron
To insist on the total compliance
Of the community
With the way that they see
Laws and theorems: God help the defiants.
--- Alexander Baron
Quite a total monopoly got
Of the bigoted type
Who deprecate as tripe
The less-orthodox reasoning lot.
--- Alexander Baron
And the scientists are despots who see
Every man in the street
As outside the elite,
If he has not a college degree.
--- Alexander Baron
Darwinians to Physicists in synergy;
From Richard Dawkins
To Stephen Hawkins,
Ask what came first -- mass or energy.
--- Gunjan
If one plays the "go back there" game.
Before there was matter,
Or even light scatter,
What's there before energy came?
--- Chris Papa
So it's questions that I have to send.
Where the universe starts
And what are its parts,
And where could it possibly end?
--- Bob Birch P0111
Have proven to be exactly right.
But there are no clues
Who lit the 'Big Bang' fuse
That awesome prehistoric night.
--- Al Cape Town
While sleeping, was such a loud snorer,
Astronomers heard
Her and wrongly inferred
A new radio-wavelength aurora.
--- Anon
I ran inside shouting "Yippee!"
Came back out with my scope,
Set it up, like a dope,
And noticed the sky had turned cloudy.
--- Tom Campbell
Come look, Mom! The moon you must see.
The night sky's dark hue;
A breathtaking view.
A celestial display, all for free.
--- Jenni Saqua
Through the scope on a pole hanging true,
That due to a subordinate,
The flexture was inordinate
And the back of his head was on view.
--- MEK
Who was obsessed with watching the moon.
He would watch the night sky;
New telescope to his eye;
He felt that daytime came too soon.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Iridescently glowing enthrall,
In that vastness unreal.
As I look up I feel
Insignificant, humble and small.
--- Peter Wilkins
Into the heavens amazing.
It's blurred here in town,
With lights all around,
And all of the barbies a-braising.
--- H Welchel
Just one universe and one me.
The running lights out,
And no moon about --
Frightened, awe-smitten, and free.
--- H Welchel
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