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But now you're soaked through and through; OK then, my dear, I'll strip; And have a wee rummage inside; Oh dear, your masculine meat One freezing October eve, Thus speaketh ye old weather oracle: If you want predictions so logical, A magician of Kalamazoo What is that stuff that I see Big flakes so fluffy and white Right here in the USA, bro, That snow, if you don't know, is CHILLY! And fingers? They're too cold to grab The rain in Iberia falls A squall here would be a real treat, The weather? It's sunny and warm Tomorrow is All Hallow's Eve; A failure of power, you say? It was Bertha they gave as a name I love thunder and lightning -- it thrills! It started to rain, then it poured. "Thunder," the weather man said. "Cover mirrors?" I hear you deride; Now this old wives tale made me wonder, I have a four day weekend, An amazing man's Andrei P. Troofoff! A harried housewife in Rangoon, An Asian cyclone is TYPHOON, There was a wee girl named Estrella As I pass girls, my eyes start to swivel, The summer has come with a bang -- When rain pummels down with such power, An elegant lady of Spain These hours of showers bring flowers, A bold Irish maiden named Mary, In August, the hurricane Andrew If you live down in South Carolinee I read using candles for light. (Hurricane Bonnie 1998)
I've waited for Carol to call, ...My eyes out while thinking that she But even with landscapes stark Oh Floyd will be such a pain As we prepare to be battered by Floyd, In NZ it's already tomorrow This summer we suffered a drought; Four inches of rain are now down; The poop bucket's hid in the wood. One day soon, we will see the sun, By midnight they say t'will be done. Yankees beware, 'cause Katrina's Will Charlston escape Hugo's blow? I'm thankful, that safe is my mother, Bush swears that he cares for the fate I think, since Camille, we've not seen a (With a bite worse than Sister Christina.)
Like most women, this big bitch Katrina, In the deep South the wild winds combine; Now hang on a sec, Billy Bob, So loud and so rude and uncouth, 'Twas the worst year for hurricanes yet. It was a mild one as hurricanes go, I do hope this new hurricane In fact, it would really be best The cactus in Talco are better, A hurricane by the name of Opal, We'll hear as the wind blows around, Said Rita, in utter disgust, Her sister, Katrina, nonplussed,
I see water sloshing from your shoe!
You're starting to drip;
It's best that you strip.
I'll cover my eyes from the view.
--- Anon
My sweatshirt and socks I'll off whip.
Now if you want more,
Girl, kneel down on the floor,
For my jocks are too hard to off slip.
--- Anon
Let fingers, not eyes, be your guide.
And when you can feel
What I barely conceal
There, my jocks you can slowly off slide.
--- Anon
Fits in my hand so perfectly neat.
Just as my T and A,
Fit your hands the same way,
This wet day turned into a treat!
--- Anon
So cold that the hands were in sleeves,
The roads were all icy.
'Twasn't terribly nicey;
Just look what Jack Frost could achieve.
--- Novastar
Storms cometh, go not in thy coracle.
In vain may thou wrestle
Controlling that vessel,
And should thou survive, 'tis a moracle.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Concerning things meteorological,
Consult Ogg, the Wiz
Who sure knows his biz,
Dissecting things entomological.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Said, "There's nothing that I cannot do.
It's the Fourth of July,
But why should we fry?
Let it snow! Let it snow! And it snew."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
That's falling down through the tree,
Outside my window?
Could it be snow?
Yes, it very well could be.
--- Anon
Are an unusual sight,
For one desert-raised
And in the sun braised,
But for now, snow fits just right.
--- Anon
It's some months till we'll see any snow.
But if I had my picks
I'd be in the tropics,
Wouldn't see any snow no' MO.
--- Anon
Makes it hard to get hold of my willy.
There's just no bragging
'Bout that shriveled thing.
All the girls think I've got willy-NILly.
--- Anon
Frozen titties, like meat on a slab.
My only consolation
Is the insulation
I get from my layer of flab.
--- Anon
On the plain in the main? Utter balls!
They send their low pressure
To London and Cheshire;
It's England what suffers the squalls.
--- Peter Wilkins
I'm so sick of this infernious heat.
Always sweaty and hot,
Makes your twat smell like rot,
And you stick to the toilet seat.
--- Anon
(Rather warmer I think than the norm);
But that cumulonim-
bus looks horribly grim,
And I guess that we're in for a storm.
--- Anon
They say we are going to receive
Not candy, you know,
But ten inches of snow.
I really am very aggrieved.
--- Azul
Got caught in a thunderstorm, eh?
You'd best watch it, mister...
A big Texas twister
Just might come and blow you away!
--- Scott Oliver
To the storm on the east coast that came.
People left in a hurry
Fearing its mighty fury.
But compared to some, she was tame.
--- Youngbeard
So exciting it gives me the chills.
My nipples go taut,
Afraid, I am not,
Of those flashes high over the hills.
--- Jayne
The lightning smote down with its sword.
There was a short pause,
Then from the storm's jaws,
Came the Thunder's deep subsonic chord.
--- ROE
The thought of it fills me with dread.
I'll cover the mirrors
And if it gets serious,
I'll run and hide under the bed.
--- Anon
They attract the lightning inside.
And once in the house
With its deafening rows,
You'll find there is nowhere to hide.
--- Anon
When on it I happened to blunder.
Rubber boots on the sill
Of a window, they will
Catch lightning that comes with the thunder.
--- Frank
Don't know what to do, how to spend
All of this free time.
Cause in the house, I'm
Stuck. Will this rain ever end?
--- Anon
He's a primo professional goof-off;
Underweared, easychaired,
At his TV he stared,
While a hurricane tore his whole roof off.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8503
Hung wash in a raging TYPHOON.
Her possession scanties,
Few bras and her panties,
Are now on their way to the moon.
--- Chris Papa
Which some mariners does maroon,
Who, if still alive,
With Friday contrive
To survive until rescue soon.
--- Daniel Ford
Who owned an enormous umbrella;
One day in a gale
With lightning and hail,
The umbrella went up with Estrella.
--- Mabel B Hill
And some mutter phrases uncivil.
I drool words insane,
As I walk in the rain.
In drizzle I dribble my drivel.
--- Tiddy Ogg
The clouds are its yin, the heat, yang.
And when the clouds burst
And slake the ground's thirst,
I pop out and wash off my wang.
--- H Welchel
And folks undercover all cower,
When lightning bolts flash
And thunderclouds crash,
It's the sky who's just taking his shower.
--- Cap'n Bean P0607
Was caught in a deluge of rain.
She was swept off her feet
And washed down the street,
Then she disappeared down a large drain.
--- Loads & Loads Lims P0105
This is file nll
While girlies all cower in bowers.
With moisture they're wringing,
And t-shirts are clinging,
Which have such revivalist powers.
--- Anon
Who found it exciting to tarry
In the hurricane eye
Of a spiraling sky,
Went a long, wrong way to Tipperary.
--- Cyber Geezer
Drew looters, militiamen and drew
From desperate folks
Some down-to-earth jokes,
But mostly despair drew.. and rue.
--- Irving Superior P9305
And you avoid hits by a palm tree,
When you get old as hell
This story you'll tell:
"I remember the time when Floyd blew me."
--- Anon
While transformers flashed in the night.
A-popping like corn,
The tree limbs were torn.
Old Bonnie was quite a good fright.
--- H Welchel
But she must have been in the squall.
Hurricane Floyd
Must have made void
Her promise of phone-sex, I bawl...
--- Anon
Has been thrown out into the sea,
By winds so torrential
That rocked residential
Areas, please let me wrong be.
--- Anon
And locked in winter's long dark,
We lack hurricanes dire,
Sit home by the fire,
Kick back and drink Maker's Mark!
--- Barb
From Miami all way up to Maine.
But I am nervous and 'fraid,
For tomorrow I've laid
Plans to fly to New York on a plane.
--- Anon
His wrath we still hope to avoid.
Though warnings they'll post,
Up and down our east coast,
Hurricane parties will then be enjoyed.
--- Anon
And Clinton now knows of the sorrow
Floyd has in store
For our southeastern shore.
You think his crystal ball I could borrow?
--- Anon
Now hurricane Floyd is about.
Our sump pump is worn
By the load that its borne;
The rest of today is in doubt.
--- Chris Papa
There isn't a dry spot in town,
And later, we know,
The brunt of the blow
Will be struck in parts here aroun'.
--- Chris Papa
We've taken up all that we could
That might blow away.
Now we only pray
That our best precautions are good.
--- Chris Papa
Once huge Fearful Floyd has his run.
We'll welcome with glee
No emergency,
And watering ban will be done.
--- Chris Papa
For now we just follow its run
Up the New Jersey shore.
With more rain in store,
We hope the wind damage we'll shun.
--- Chris Papa
Taking y'all to the cleaners:
She'll rip you to bits,
So gals, guard your tits,
And guys, get a grip on your penis.
--- Jarmo
Which way will the hurricaine go?
Will there be "hurrahs"
Or Les Miserables?
Whichever, the Victor, Hugo.
--- Irving Superior P8910
And also my friend and my brother,
Who avoided the bane
Of that bad hurricane,
And I hope that they'll not see another.
--- Observer
Of folks in the hurricane state,
So he posed for some snaps
To show he loves blacks...
Sorry Dubya, just five days too late.
--- Jarmo
An ol' gal quite as mean as Katrina,
Who's wrecked a few lives
(Like vindictive ex-wives)
While howling like a laughing hyena.
--- Observer
Has paranoid schizophrenia.
She is full of hot air,
Will fuck you anywhere,
And we all wish that we'd never seen her.
--- David Miller
Because God with his power Divine,
Has sent to his slaves
'Katrina and Her Waves',
Who're Walking on New Orlean's Sunshine.
I don't want you to cry or to sob,
But you couldn't be meaner
Than to dis this Katrina;
She gives a fantastic blow job.
--- Jonners
And coming in Missie's big mouth,
She's not at all tender;
A rough gender-bender;
Katrina, the whore of the South.
--- Archie
They had used every name in the set
For the season's named storms.
Now each one that forms
Helps to teach us the Greek Alphabet!
--- Nov 2005
Some hang around to blow and blow.
And some are so mild,
They make my farts look wild,
As some people around me will know.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Will visit New Orleans again.
Selfish, I guess;
It would leave quite a mess.
But dammit, we do need the rain!
--- John Miller
If the storm track went quite a bit west.
The ponds are all drying;
The trees are all dying
And life here is losing its zest.
--- John Miller
On account the weather ain't wetter;
In fact it's so dry,
It's got to be why
John staples the stamps to his letter.
--- David Miller
Took Gulf Shores something awful.
Ruined a property of mine,
(It was one of a kind!)
And adjusters say, "It is a total!"
--- Joyce
Trees and roof tops tumbling down.
But safe in our bunker,
We'll just get drunker,
The biggest storm party in town.
--- Anon
"You can play on my strings, if you must,
But should your old flute
Slip into my chute,
I'll blow you away in one gust."
Then stripped off her panties and cussed,
"You dumb stupid bitch!
The old fart is rich,
Don't waste him -- and I saw him fust!"
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