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Christmas over and in lack of freezing, The winter I went and got lost, Winter's really the season for me. The deep snow, when it's fresh, has great beauty; Said my neighbor in Philly, sweet Marianne: My dear Tiddy, you can't be more right! When Mother Nature is appeasing, When along comes a chinooky breeze, The leaves which are changing and dying, So cold was a winter renowned, A stubborn young bachelor named Boze This Lady remains here in Mass. For a chilly Chinese, Suzie Ming, Let's hope that our winter is brief. The chill of the winter's well known. On all winter excursions, I pass. Winter with its very long nights Sky full of clouds heavy and grey. Snow, the joy of the child, Moonlight glitters on large drifts of snow, A clear azure sky and it's hot! There's a thunderstorm brewing inland, There once was a terrible freeze, The leaves flutter down from the trees. There once was an impatient bulb flower We have quite a reason to boast; But next comes the season of frost; The weather guy said, "Please prepare, Last evening some huge storms came through, A middle-school dropout named Ray A severe storm howled through the trees; Now just intllectually speaking, When I was a child I did pray, I found scooping snow is no fun, The sky turned an ominous gray, Tonight it rained like cats and dogs, Frogs or toads, they're all the same to me; Your problem, my dear, is quite clear; You're lucky it rained only dogs If I thought a prince they'd become, It's raining for all that it's worth; It's blowing a southerly gale And right behind Floyd now is Gert. First Charley and Fran came aground. She's pure as the wind driven snow; The tornadoes passed through the night; The rage of that storm was so strong, Two inches is what's left outside, There was a fare made from Duquesne A single candle burning bright The hurricane said, as she grinned, While thunder rolled out of the sky, With a storm that blew in from the sea, With one more ice-cold winter's blast, When fog veils the earth, I am pleasured It seems wherever you go, As long as there's no place to go, We have never been worried too much I'll admit I'm no ettiquite master, The Nor'easter left us high and dry. Finally a few clouds in the sky, So now you are glad to be doused; Does this mean our dancing must cease You can dance around all that you want; Well, I'll not relinquish the chance My trousers I've had to take off.
Snow all gone too, I stopped breezing
And instead I take hold
'Gainst the bone-chilling cold.
With the heating, stuffed nose sets me wheezing.
--- Anon
You ask me just what was the cost?
I near froze my toes,
And did freeze my nose.
Should not have made out with Jack Frost.
--- Anon
I'm a lass who likes festivity,
And rambling through mists,
And Carolers pissed,
And curing male hypothermy.
--- Lucy
Laced with footprints from critter or bootie.
But soon the stuff melts,
And you'll see then -- what else? --
All the places your dogs did their duty.
--- Allen Wolverton
"God damn it, there's snow on the streets again.
I hate this white shit;
It's giving me fits.
I think I will move to the Caribbean."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
All that snow gives my wife quite a fright.
Even with four-wheel drive,
She doubts she'll survive
Getting up that long driveway at night.
--- HMMWV
And the warm weather is so pleasing,
You'd best get you a chick
Who's a little bit thick,
So when winters back, your not freezing.
--- I R Canuck
You'd best get your girl on her knees.
You may not have long
For a nice skin flute song,
Because now to the ground she could freeze.
--- I R Canuck
Are the tears of the trees, which are crying.
Now the cold winter sky
Is most certainly nigh;
If I say that I'm happy, I'm lying.
--- Cap'n Bean P0412
I became, while out walkin', icebound.
When finally free,
What a sight I did see:
My shadow had froze to the ground!
--- Anon
Took an oath that he'd never propose.
He spent his sad life
Without taking a wife,
Till in bed one cold winter, Boze froze!
--- Barbara Burrow
A sweet, bona-fide Yankee lass.
Snuggled up with a book,
By the fireside nook,
Give up Winter? No thanks, I'll pass!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Sex at twenty below has no zing.
Her longing for intercourse
Declines in the winter -- 'course
She will let men back at her, come spring.
--- Armand E Singer 97
It seems that, to me, it's a thief.
From both man and beast,
We want it deceased!
The spring will be such a re-leaf.
--- Doug Harris
We put on our parkas and moan.
Thermals keep out the storm,
Also keep your ears warm.
Then you will not be chilled to the bone.
--- Andrew Purdom
The moon can be viewed through the glass,
Whilst drinking a toddy
And warming one's body
By the fire, and not freezing one's ass.
--- Eva Amata
Is made for lover's delights;
Time to explore
Every contour
That leads to the greatest of heights.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Will we have snow by the end of the day?
Large flakes of white
To hide urban blight,
And lend it a certain cachet.
--- Azul
Be the winter harsh or mild.
They love it to play
In it everyday,
Slipping and sliding with abandon wild.
--- Azul
Bringing memories of love by moon-glow,
Of firelight watching,
Snow softly falling
God hath wrought mieux que Michelangelo.
--- Azul
A hundred or more we have got.
But it's nice to roast
Here on the West Coast.
The cold in our winter's just rot!
--- Archie
Where the hills are making a stand.
So with luck tonight,
The lightning will fight
And give us a show that is grand!
--- Archie
That killed all the leaves on the trees.
And some exclaimed
That beauty was maimed,
All because of a winter breeze.
--- Ivanka Petrov TP9806
You'll soon hear your first winter sneeze,
And see ice on puddles.
It's time for warm cuddles
And hugs; let the outside world freeze.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who pushed with all of her power,
And came up before spring;
But the silly young thing
Was froze in a winter snow shower.
--- Sarah Miller
We've lived through the year with the most
Atlantic-borne storms --
Much higher than norms.
I'm glad I don't live near the coast.
--- HMMWV
With iced roads, burst pipes and much cost.
You'd better not go
Out there in the snow,
While kids' icy missiles are tossed.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A Nor'Easter is coming, beware!
Bring your dogs in the house,
And be sure that your spouse,
Has plenty of TP to spare."
--- Anon
With lightening and strong winds that blew
Trees out of the ground,
The power line down,
And may even have carried off Hugh!
--- Carol
Once had an unusual day,
Entrusting his fate
To a twenty-pound weight,
While a hurricane blew him away.
--- Cyber Geezer
The cop shouted at me, "Stop! Freeze!"
I obeyed the law;
Passersby laughed and saw
How the wind blew my pants down my knees.
--- Dirruk
The neighborhood must of been freaking,
When the cop said to stop,
I thought he said drop --
And I got arrested for streaking.
--- G Watson
"Dear God, give me one snowuy day."
But in this here blizzard,
I'll pray to the Wizard, (Cyber Wizard)
"Please Rusty, make it go away!"
--- Carol
This is file nml
So away from the north I did run.
Now I'll pick an orange
That hangs in the low range,
And sit by the spa in the sun.
--- CM
As the schooner sailed far off the bay;
The crew was aghast
When the winds broke their mast,
Then the hurricane washed them away.
--- Cap'n Bean P0510Q
With lightening, and thunder, and fogs.
And all of the roads,
Were hopping with toads,
Now my tires are squishy with frogs.
--- Carol
They're both green and ugly slimy;
And noisy critters.
Not fit for fritters,
Or stew when they're flat or squishy.
--- Carol
You've kissed the wrong creature, my dear.
So instead of a prince,
You've a knave in a mince,
Who's decidedly ugly and queer.
--- John Miller
And sundry amphibious frogs;
For thunderstorms here
In Old England, I fear,
Mean bombardment with sheep-shagging Oggs.
--- Anon
There's hundreds that I could choose from.
In the pond I would play,
And kiss them all day,
'Til my lips get all slimy and numb.
--- Carol
Of water we'll sure have no dearth.
As prophets foretell,
The rivers will swell
And the creeks shall inherit the Earth.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And there's rain and occasional hail;
So I'll crawl back to bed,
And start dreaming instead
Of voluptuous feminine tail.
--- Anon
Hope the east coastline she'll avert.
To stay in the ocean,
Cause no commotion,
Or we'll be on a constant alert.
--- Anon
The panhandle, Ivan then drowned.
Now that I can afford a
Warm haven in Florida,
A dry beachfront lot can't be found.
--- Alex Heydon P0411
Excepting she's warmer, I know.
She and the wind, mate,
Share this common trait:
They both often give a good blow.
--- Frank Fazed
The lightning kept sparking up bright.
The wind rose, rain fell;
A storm night from hell!
[I enjoy a good blow when done right!]
--- Anon
It sucked up and swallowed your dong.
It pulled and it twisted,
And though you resisted,
It's now only two inches long.
--- Anon
Your mouth when you open it wide;
And take in your throat
My enormous hard choat;
Want the rest in? Force COULD be applied!
--- Anon
Who dared not go fourth in the resne.
If her head once got wet
She'd again be brunette,
For her heir she'd have died all in vesne.
--- Princeton Tiger P0007
Supplies our only light tonight.
An ice storm to freeze;
Brings down cables, poles and trees.
Now it is not a lovely sight.
--- Sweetie Pie TP9806
"My will I now plan to rescind.
I left all my dough
To a cute weather pro,
And you shall inherit the wind."
--- Al Willis T9801
Tornados caused houses to fly;
The storm was a brute,
And its damage acute,
Causing ninety-six people to die.
--- Cap'n Bean P0308
Came the fate of old spinster McGhee.
She was pelted by hail
At the height of the gale,
And was crushed by the weight of a tree.
--- Cap'n Bean P0412
I sure hope that this is our last.
Today it is snowing,
And my flowers growing
Outside will be dying real fast.
--- Carol
In ways I have noted and measured,
For the times, by the mist,
That the land has been kissed,
Are the times that I truly have treasured.
--- Cap'n Bean
The wind it continues to blow.
He in central PA,
It's a work holiday --
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
--- Al Bienstock
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
But when you travel by air,
And get stuck at O'Hare,
It's a pleasure you'd gladly forgo.
--- Election 2000
About inclement weather and such.
But last night's downpour
And the prospect of more
Give me cause for concern for the Dutch.
--- Anon
But I know that there is no way faster,
To bring out the fury
From here to Missouri,
Than to rhyme 'bout a natural disaster.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Not one flake of snow from the sky,
Has fallen 'round here;
It's sunny and clear;
I'd sure like to choke that weather guy!
--- Anon
With thunder and lightning came by,
With much needed showers.
Thanks to the great powers
Of that naked rain dancing guy.
--- Carol
No doubt you'll go in and get soused.
As the rain comes down,
You'll be dancing around,
'Cause the rain dancing man is aroused.
--- Tony Brasell
Because clouds and rain do increase.
I was having such fun,
All nude in the sun.
What a wonderful way to release.
--- Elizabeth
Your bare nakedness then you can flaunt.
Out there on my grass,
All night shake your ass;
If the cops come by, act nonchalant.
--- Carol
To dance with my lance out sans pants.
We'll just move inside
To the king-sized big wide
Bed and begin a new dance.
--- Jon Gearhart
(Why, sure I look funny; don't scoff.)
I've been and gone out
And got soaking throughout,
But I promise nowt else I will doff.
--- Anon
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