MORE
A penthouse subscription, I'm hopin'; The censor whose job's antiporn, When DMR first hit the scene, The Story Of O, I have heard The 'Tropic of Cancer' amazed I've just read a memorable book. To improve my sexual desire. Twenty thousand leagues under the sea, An abridger takes so much away If you're looking for Albert Camus, There was a young person of Oldham Anna's husband attempted in vain The apostrophe piss's me off "Though," said Grendel, "we don't want to sell, A sensational writer from Dacca, Now every fossil and book, A writer has got to be deft. Let's enter THE LITERARY SCENE, Raskoinkov loved little old ladies There was a young writer from Providence His porridge gone and looking doleful, Natty Bumpo was one those few Don Quixote, the dolorous knight, Don Quixote rode off on his cob There was a young person named Gray, Tell the truth? But my dear fellow, why? (Notes on some journalists)
Dreary days in sloth passage are slow, Her limp lover Maud coundn't pardon; Velma thought that her past unpleasin' Sign your name in the book; it's just ink. There was an Old Man of Vesuvius, When Debretigny wanted her so I've a liking for some horror books, I cannot read the horror stuff; Quasimodo was raised in the church; Quasimodo was kind of a chump. My Paradise Lost on a plane Mrs Henley observed that her mate Jane and Rochester made a strange pair. The biggest name droppers are those The LADY AND THE TIGER tale. Our novels get longa and longa; Surely Emma's romantically yearning There was a maid, fair to the sight, (author of women's novels)
"Gregor won't," Mrs Samsa maintained Captain Ahab has sworn without fail There once was a gob named Ishmael, My name is, let's just say -- Ishmael. The one-legged sailor was quick When Ahab pursued Moby Dick Said Moll Flanders, "It's no moral taint When a moll who has moxie like Flanders' A novelist, flushed with success, Writers oft light the lamp and unlock An author with a novel in mind, Our lecturer blamed the abstruseness Nobody knows I'm a king. (limner - one who describes or paints a person)
A device more ancient than recent (cetera desunt. = ??)
The Red Badge of courage by Crane, Poor Pamela's honour assailed, (published 1740)
Robinson Crusoe was smart When Robinson Crusoe discerned (slogan = TGIF)
Just mainsails did Robinson's crew sew. Sometimes I see diamonds in snow -- (in reference to Sailing On...)
A preacher once rolled in the hay Although Puritan Elders did say Hester Prynne was a pure as can be;
No more just sittin' and mopin'.
The old ones I got
Are not very hot;
All their pages are stuck and won't open.
--- Les Stewart
Must review books and pictures. He's torn.
Though he really hates smut,
He's exposed to a glut
That submerges him, noon, night, and morn.
--- Sheila B
They brought in old porno queen,
Who'd blissfully squirm
While covered with sperm,
While the band hollered "Come On Eileen."
--- Anon
Is about a peculiar bird
Who likes flagellation
And self-mutilation.
OW seems a more suitable word.
--- Arthur Deex P9607
Some readers and rendered them dazed.
Some older than 30
Considered it dirty,
But others who read it weren't fazed.
--- R J Winkler P8409
Passages so moved me I shook!
It's all about a tramp
(My panties got damp)
I've underlined the good parts -- look!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Into my room I retired.
To my poor wife's scorn
I was looking at porn,
But alas, the shotgun won't fire.
--- Adam Kreek Q
On the nautilus, prisoners three:
Were Conseil and the prof
And Ned Land, till hurled off
Nemo's sub in the maelstrom's debris.
--- Prof M-G
That you lose any sense of the play
Of the words and [removed]
And yet nothings improved.
You can guess what the author would say.
--- Anon
You should know he's not found in a zoo,
Or a school or a church,
So pursue your research
In a library with a Who's Who.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Who altered his tales as he sold 'em,
When his friends said, "How mean"
He replied, "All serene!"
And that's about all that he told 'em.
--- Rudyard Kipling1903 P8903
Her passionate heart to restrain.
Anna fell for a count,
Then she fell for THE count
When she finally fell 'fore a train.
--- Laurence Perrine P8409
Although I was taught by my prof
How to use it in "it's",
My use of it shit's,
Causing some people to snigger and scoff.
--- John Miller
For it once was a quiet rustic dell,
Every night there's a brawl
In Hrogthar's meadhall,
And the neighborhood's going to hell."
--- A N Wilkins P8409
Whose first novel was rated a shocka,
Wrote of rape, coke, and reefers,
Kinky sex, stinks, and weefers,
Plus a murder, with incest and caca.
--- Armand Singer
Each has its own little nook.
It's so neat and clean
And somewhat pristine!
When I need a thing, it's hunt and look!
--- Barb
When he finds he has no money left,
Can he do without meals?
To hell with ideals.
Learn to toss of a 'roman a cleft'.
--- John Ciardi
The whole world of what might-have-been.
But it's best to recall,
Before having a ball,
What's Literature can't be obscene.
--- E O Parrot
And he loved 'em the best on their paydays.
He was no good in bed
So he went for her head
But he ended up going to Hades.
--- Neal Wilgus P8409
Who brilliantly coined his own evidence,
Like weird-sounding names
(Which spawn role-playing games)
`nd dark tomes about alien residents.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Young Copperfield seeks one more bowl full.
The beadle, eyes aglare,
Outrageous in his stare;
A literary scene most "Whoa-full."
--- Irving Superior P8609
Who were thrifty, brave, clean, reverent too;
The Big Serpent, his pal
Said, "Hugh! Who needs a gal?
Me have more fun in woods with-um you!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
Is unhorsed by a windmill at sight,
But is plucked from the ground
By Sancho the round,
And vows to continue the fight!
--- Laurence Perrine P8409
To rescue fair maidens and clob-
Ber vile windmills and sheep,
Left them dead in a heap,
Then said, "Dulcie, how 'bout a sleeve job?"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
Who forever youthful did stay.
But up in the attic,
Things weren't quite so static,
His picture grew older each day.
--- Richard Long
Our readers expect us to lie.
Though I'm sad to report,
When we end up in court,
We do have to eat humble pie.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Dank and dark, overcast, a snail's flow.
Such oppressive and blue
Weather's coming to you,
Through the courtesy of E A Poe.
--- Loren Fitzhugh
He was no use at all in the garden.
He drooped like the rose,
When the sap in it goes.
"'Ere Enoch," she cried, "Enoch, 'arden!"
--- Kit Wright
(And not I might add, without reason.)
So she married some schmo
With both status and dough,
And then shot her a moose out of season.
--- Michael Weinstein P8409
It won't hurt you. Now, lets have a drink!
We'll build a new nation
On this reservation.
Fianna Fail. By the right -- double think!
--- Sidney Bernard Smith
Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
When the flames burnt his book,
To drinking he took,
And ogling Marcus and Fluvius.
--- Edwardian Leer 024
To come live with him in his chateau,
All that he had to say
To the lady to sway
Her to action was, "Manon, Lescaut!"
--- A N Wilkins P8409
With beheadings and murder and spooks;
Blood all a-splatter,
And mixed with brain matter,
And people dismembered with hooks.
--- Jayne
This is file nbm
My nerves are just not up to snuff.
They make my flesh creep,
Then I cannot sleep.
OK, I'm a pink powderpuff.
--- Marlene
He would swing on the bells, and he'd perch
With his favorite gargoyle,
Who he'd feed boiling oil,
Saving Gypsy maids left in the lurch.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
For fun, on the church-bells he'd jump,
Crying, "Oh, Esmeralda,
You're my kind o' gal; Da-
Rling, please let me give you a hump!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
I know I shall never regain.
Friends published a silly ad
Deriding the Illiad;
What they Odyssey's an Epoch of pain.
--- Laurence Perrine P8509
Always had her permission to state
And to let it be known
That he all alone
Was the master and lord of his fate.
--- A N Wilkins P8409
Edward kept his wife locked above stair,
Until that fateful night
When E.R. lost his sight.
How did she go wrong? Where did Jane Eyre?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0102
Whose autobiographies disclose
With whom they had dallied,
Dismissed and/or tallied,
And whether they had come to blows.
--- Irving Superior P9507a
Which door? Shall death or life prevail?
Which of the two?
What I would do --
I'd grab whichever by the tail.
--- Irving Superior P8812
Their language gets stronga and stronga.
There is much to he said
For a life that is led,
In illiterate places like Bonga.
--- Archie
For a lover with manners discerning,
Means a masculine bone
Set achurn in her zone
To get Bovary's ovaries burning.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8409
So stately, so pure and so White.
Being too good to live,
Fate, Corelli -- tive, [?]
Made her poison herself in the night.
--- Langston Reed (Bibby)
To the boss in a voice somewhat strained,
"Be coming today
To work. You might say
He's in bed with a bug," she explained.
--- A N Wilkins P8409
He will take his revenge on a whale.
There's a whale of a chase
But the whale cops the race
By a fluke and a flick of his tail.
--- Laurence Perrine P8409
Who spoke of Ahab's lust for the whale.
He found that while flensing,
It's soulfully cleansing.
It's the chase he prefers, not the tail.
--- Anon
I was out of a job, and thought, "What the Hell."
I shipped out on the Pequod
To catch whales and seek God;
Well, at least, I've a whale of a tale to tell.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
But his mind was distorted and sick.
With his crew he set sail
In search of the whale
But guess what he got: Moby Dick!
--- Neal Wilgus P8409
He tried to be nimble and quick.
A slap of its tail
Laid on by the whale
Was more than a flick of your Bic.
--- R J Winkler P8409
To improve your complexion with paint.
For after you're old
And your passions are cold,
There'll be time to behave like a saint."
--- A N Wilkins P8409
Must resort to consorting with panderers,
With her doxy's ability
Of inducing ductility,
She's conducive to goosing by ganders.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8409
Said, "The world's in a horrible mess.
With its quarrels, it needs
The new morals and creeds
I shall shortly be sending to press."
--- Thomas Thorneley
Other's minds -- help revamp and take stock.
But a reader can't know
Of the to-ing and fro
'Twixt the land of the cramp and the block.
--- Doug Harris
A publisher was then hard to find.
As no-thank-you's collected,
He felt damn dejected;
His hopes had just gone with the wind.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Of the book on its patent diffuseness.
But I'm onto his game,
And the author, the same:
I suspect it was just their obtuseness.
--- Anon
They think I'm just some old queer thing.
But I've found a rare bard
In the very next yard
Who's limned me -- as a cedar waxwing.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
For cutting out something indecent,
Is to break off the story
When it gets slightly whorey,
And mark the gap: [Cetera desunt.]
--- G2468
I think for all time shall remain
The definitive study
Of fear, of what's bloody,
Of war and of death and of pain.
--- Tutta Gioia
And how in the end she prevailed.
Is the theme of that book,
(Pure gobbledygook)
For which Richardson should have been jailed.
--- Tutta Gioia
To live so alone and apart.
But the flaw in his plan
Was that Friday's a man --
Yes, that is the difficult part.
--- Neal Wilgus P8409
A footprint he hollered, concerned,
"Hooray! This is my day!
Thank God! It is Friday!
Thus coining a slogan we've learned.
--- R J Winkler P8409 a
No evil did Robinson's crew sow.
No more did they
Yet drowned that day.
A shame to treat Robinson's crew so.
--- Irving Superior P8409
They're mostly reflections, I know.
But this time I see one,
Who's turned out to be one.
He's polished, he sparkles, he glows.
--- Ericka
With a lady whose spouse was away.
Said the townfolk, "We bet
That she'll never forget,
'Cause this is her RED LETTER DAY!"
--- Arthur Deex P8409
Hester Prynne must be branded their way,
All those pilgrims so dour
Weren't really so pure,
If for sex they gave Hester an 'A'.
--- Warrick Elrod
She'd say, "No hanky-panky for me!"
Till the reverend Dimme-
Sdale said, "Oh, Babe, gimme
A feel of your 'A' -- and your 'T'!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8409
MORE