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A cow chewed his cud in a dell, There was a young lady named Eva, As you know I'm an internet lurker, A club for old men in Paris, France, Way up in Skanateles Falls, In the backyard, a bold minx of Towton, A belly-dancer from far Samarkand Lady Amelia Applethorpe Ames At the Follies Bergere matinee, A dancer named Lily LaVerre I suppose it did seem indiscrete A chorus of ladies in Bude, A modest young girl named Oola A naughty young sailor from Strood There was a young maid in Ceylon There was a young maid in Ceylon, Lady Gwendolyn Pomeroy-Paige While the south gets hammered with rain, This naked dance sounds a good thing. Now that would be an memorable sight. You guys, it is so sad to say, Count me in on this mass of fun; This dance has such mystical powers, I won't be going out on the town, Now that the rainstorm's in full bloom There was a young girl named O'Malley, I won't say the girls at St. Francis, A beautiful woman named Farrah, Illegal nude dancing is swell. An impotent man from Kentucky There once was a jester quite rude, That reporter, who hid by the stones, I sit in my room with my nose I can't let her know that I'm keen; I watch Rose, myself, I admit, Now Tiddy, if you are discrete, But still I can understand why Or bring home your favorite ewe, A bump-and-grind female named Parker A gent who spoke fluent pornography There once was a lady from France, I knew I was taking a chance A girl who happened to glance A professional instructor of dance The ballroom dancers took to the floor; They say that the noble Sir Lancelot I can't seem to follow the beat, Dancing to me just comes easy, There is a young fellow from Onger, And here is why queers like the Conga, There was a young lady of Onger, We'll dance to Hank Sr. and then, A cowboy who seems to be prancing, Your finger technique is meticulous, At a party when doing the rumba, When invited to a Morris dance, For those who enjoy a gavotte, Since it's widely held, dancing is sin, I am going out dancing tonight, A young lady chewing a mango An earnest young couple from Lansing A maid from the Lesser Antilles I once had a budding romance "Ma cherie", I remarked, "I'm bereft; She offered to teach me the waltz; "I'll give you", she said, "One more chance, I went to a big fancy dance,
While minding his own business as well.
A dancer appeared,
Causing such a great fear,
That he started the stampede from Hell.
--- Bob Curtin
Who went to a dance as Godiva.
But a change in the lights
Showed a tear in her tights.
A gentleman present cried, "Beaver!"
--- L1160
And at dancing a very hard worker;
But I'm first to admit
Most dances are shit...
But I sure like the Bedroom Mazurka.
--- David Miller
Hired a beautiful nude girl to dance.
Their brows they would mop,
As they watched her tits flop,
And John Claude even peed in his pants.
--- Laurence Craft
They often hold birth control balls.
The costumes they wear
Are none...they come bare...
Thus the Call Of The Wild ever calls...
--- Grand Prix Lim 270
Danced the Charleston with nary a clout on;
Till her shocked mother spoke,
"You must put on your toque,
I object to your dancing with nowt on."
--- Langford Reed X
Tried to prance wholly nude in the Strand.
But the bobby on duty
Said, "No, me proud beauty!
Them foreign contortions is banned."
--- G2462a
Was quite the most proper of dames.
When a whimsical mood
Let her strip to the nude
And dance at the Court of Saint James.
--- Warrick Elrod
Can-can girls danced a pert roundelay,
Then were followed in line
By two tumblers with fine
Cunning stunts in a stirring array.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9707
Performed in the Folies Bergere.
But an Earl quickly wooed
When he saw her dance nude.
Now she's Lady DeVere in Mayfair.
--- Warrick Elrod
Of Myra to dance down the street,
With her all on display.
Yet, at bottom, I'd say,
The impulse was really quite sweet.
--- John Ciardi
Whose dancing can often be viewed,
Their movements are heaven,
The best sight in Devon,
So rhythic, so sexy, so nude.
--- Prof
Once donned a grass skirt to dance Hula.
A cow ate the grass,
Exposing her ass,
Now she's no longer modest but coola.
--- Lims For Year - 01
Conceived of a plan rather rude.
He trapped Mary Whitehouse
Inside an old lighthouse
And forced her to dance in the nude.
--- Tom Baker P8806a
Who danced without anything on,
And received invitations
For foreign relations,
From hither and thither and yon.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who danced in a gown of chiffon,
And accepted donations
From foreign legations,
And a visiting bigwig from Bonn.
--- Lims Unlimited
In London had been quite the rage;
At the Ritz she'd take tea,
But preferred much to be
Dancing nude on a music hall stage.
--- Warrick Elrod
From Barry the new hurricane,
Up here it's so dry,
I'm hiring that guy,
For a naked rain dance again.
--- Anon
May I join in with the dance ring?
We sure need the rain;
These fires are a pain!
Just please do no ask me to sing.
--- Anon
You two dancing buck naked all night.
I'll bang the old drum,
Till these fingers grow numb,
And black rainy clouds we'll invite.
--- Anon
It's pouring with rain here today.
While you in the dry
Are starting to fry;
We're drowning your sorrows, hey hey!
--- Anon
I'm tired of this damn red hot sun.
I'm sure once we're dancin'
Romancin' and prancin',
That it'll be plenty wet hon!
--- Anon
It's sure to cause tidal wave showers.
But we must not stop
Or no more rain will drop,
So we'll dance for hours and hours!
--- Anon
With all of this rain coming down.
But dancing I'll be,
With him, long as he,
Is naked and keeps hanging 'round.
--- Anon
And you've donned that lacy costume,
I'll open you wide,
And part your divide,
And give you a ride on MY broom!
--- Anon
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
She got roars of applause
When she kicked off her drawers,
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
--- Anon (Bibby) L0208A
Intend to encourage lewd glances,
But can one believe
They are merely naive,
When they come in the nude to school dances?
--- John Ciardi
From south of the blazing Sahara,
Caused many deep sighs
When she danced for the guys,
Wearing only her golden tiara.
--- Cap'n Bean
It's cool and the tips help as well.
But avoid cops because
Being picked up by the Fuzz
Has got to be painful as hell.
--- Theo Heller P9405a
Once a day he did feel rather lucky.
When he'd take off his pants
And brazenly prance
Till feeling exquisitely plucky.
--- DS
Who danced for the King in the nude.
Old Cole roared, "Wear a tutu.
Or you'll ride a fast U2!"
And decreed such behavior "Too Lewd!"
--- Lucas Lines
On the hilltop the Whately clan owns,
Was rude to intrude
As they danced in the nude.
Now not much remains but his bones.
--- Darrell Schweitzer P0504
Pressed up to the pane, watching Rose
In the room 'cross the street,
As she wiggles her sweet
Young body in dance with no clothes.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file mrm
'Twould only create a big scene.
I'd be flayed alive
'Cause I'm seventy-five
And she's barely yet reached thirteen.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As does the whole town while they sit,
In pay booths that Rosie
Erected, you know she
Wants an Ipod...in 5 day's she'll quit.
--- Danube
No others will know you are sweet
On this hot little chick...
I'll bet she'd be slick,
Marinating your withered old meat.
--- John Miller
This tender young stuff makes you shy.
So go it alone,
Or bury your bone
In your wife while you watch on the sly.
--- John Miller
So next time when you have this view,
There's reliable twat
That's nearly as hot,
Though not quite as tight, it is true.
--- John Miller
In the sideshow, said to the barker,
"If you mean I must dance
OUT HERE, free, without pants,
At least let me wait till it's darker!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 586
Met girls who mixed sex with choreography.
The flicks they created
Were triple-X rated,
And set records for filth in photography.
--- G0717
Who wanted to learn how to dance.
But try as she might,
Could not get it right,
Until she put ants down her pants.
--- Anon
When I asked a cheerleader to dance.
She shook her pom-poms
To beats of tom-toms;
I thought she had ants in her pants.
--- Anon
At a man who was doing a dance,
Said, "Your steps are quite fancy,
But they seem somewhat antsy.
Perchance, have you ants in your pants?"
--- Anon
Was arrested for tight-fitting pants.
Through envy inate,
He drove husbands irate
And gave ballroom new meaning...perchance?
--- Pecos Bill
Dancing pasa doble, jive, and lots more.
As they writhed and they twirled,
To be best in the world,
They ranged from tremendous to poor.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
With wayward young women would dance a lot,
While they, in their fashion,
Would kindle his passion,
So Lancelot came in his pants a lot.
--- Michael Horgan
So my dancing is not very neat.
I bounces and wiggles
And my bottom jiggles,
But then I fall over my feet.
--- Marilyn
Be it prim and proper or sleazy.
When I hear music,
A partner I pick,
And twirl on the floor till I'm queasy.
--- Arden
Whose main joy in life is the Conga.
He's been doing, to date,
Since 1908;
I don't think he will do it much longer.
--- Bill Wall
They form a line longa and longa.
Then they form a circle,
So that the last jerk'll
Have fitting his ass, someone's donga.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who specially liked dancing the conga.
It's really divine;
You dance in a line,
Which quickly gets longer and longer.
--- Anon
Put on some Merle Haggard and when,
We're all sweaty and hot,
From doin' a foxtrot,
We'll play Conway and do it again.
--- Anon
Retreating, then later advancing,
As though in some pain --
I'd like to explain,
It's just his idea of dancing.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
Though Glenn Gould may have found it ridiculous.
Arpeggios dance
'Cross her thighs, then advance
In a scherzo that makes you ridiculous.
--- Anon
Down my trousers I thrust a cucumber.
"My god! What is that?"
Cried a girl in a hat,
So I gave her my telephone number.
--- Bill Wall
I strap on my bells in advance.
"My God! What is that,"
Cried a girl in a hat.
Another cucumber, perchance?"
--- Bill Wall
I do, I admit, quite a lot.
Hundreds of nights
Leaping 'round in my tights,
And it does keep the vegetables hot.
--- Bill Wall
Here's the ponderous quandary I'm in:
Why would their virtue fail;
Pray tell what would prevail
To make angels dance on heads of pins?
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0103
With a couple of friends, to get tight.
If I come home all blurry,
And sticky and slurry,
And smelling of sick, don't take fright.
--- Kate Gray
While dancing a sexy Fandango,
Did a hot hootchy-kootchy
In a dress done by Gucci,
And finished up doing a tango.
--- Anon
Won prizes in contests for dancing.
They practiced the foxtrot
Until all their socks rot --
Their shoes are in shreds with their prancing.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Was dancing around in her frillies;
Where others wore strings
And shimmering things,
She sported a garland of lilies.
--- Lims Unlimited
With a lady from Brittany, France
Who said, "Darling, mon cher,
If you want an affair,
You will have to romance me with dance."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I have feet but they're both of them left.
So as for romancing
By taking you dancing,
I fear I'm not nimble or deft."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Tried correcting my myriad faults;
But I said, "That's enough
Of this 1 2 3 stuff."
To my ears it was musical schmaltz.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For I'm sure you'll enjoy this new dance;
It's the tango no less!"
But I have to confess
All I felt was that dance in my pants.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
All dressed up and seeking romance --
He held me so tight
For the whole of the night,
I found out why he was called Lance.
--- Jean Fox
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