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In hula, hot hips UNDULATE, A ballroom instructor named Vance "Please excuse my bad dancing," said he, There once was a young boy called Lancelot, The birth of the dance called 'Watusi' The girl put her hand down his pants. We'd offer our change to young sluts The salsa is merely for dancing; Is that how they dance in Granada? There once was a young dancing queen, An old man and a lively young fawn, I'd dance the Lambada with you, I so love to dance the Lambada, I dance the Lambada. Her eyes The Lambada's a dance of romance; We'll sway to the music so Latin, If I dance the Lambada with you, There once was a wanton young bimbo No panties wears Heidi, the bimbo. Sweet Suzi is Heidi's young sistra; There's no tears in my beer, Bonnie dearest. A fellow who fell for a dancer While dancing a fast minuet, Ma Nature, libidos doth tease. Each Springtime, especially in May, Their actions are mighty entrancing, While Morris men hold their Spring gigs A woman from East Pango-Pango I rhumba'd a girl that wore gingham, A fat man, in search of romance, In Edmonton now by decree In Provo, they've Canada out done -- This joke though ancient is entrancing, But not all the dancers are girls! A dance at the schoolhouse is fun A horny old soldier called Mac I though I'd try love and romance, Although some folks may think it risque, Said scrumptious young dancer, "I'm pooped. The Rumba is sweet Carmen's passion; "You're a wonderful dancer", he purred. In Spring, flingers flock to the floor. A charming young lady named Nelly Young Billy, from East Albuquerque, In all the history of France, When we were young, we went to some dances; Four papers addressing monology, J. B., who from Vegas, not Reno, Stanislavski's work is great theory; Theatre Workshop and the Old Vic When the Cenci acquired the censure Sarah Siddons said "I will not heel" In the works of Spalding Gray, Said Palmer and Harrison Fiske, The '55 season was terribly fecund; The theatre's depiction of race, There was a young actor named Ned He set up the role-play to be, A circus parade sweeper, Liz, The actor, although a great charmer, A big boobed but small talented tart, An actor, in furious rage, O, there are two brothers, the Fays, But I angered those brothers, the Fays, Screamed the crowd to an actor named Rouse, A gentleman home from Malay
A neat way to communicate;
When saying "Hello,"
To eager fellow
That the lass might like for a mate.
--- Chris Papa
Was teaching a young girl to dance.
While starting to dip her,
He undid his zipper,
Impaling her full on his lance.
--- David Miller
"I'm stiff from bowling, you see."
Said the girl, "As to where
You are from, I don't care --
Just please stop stepping on me!"
--- Patricia White
Who liked to take girls out to dance a lot.
'Twas not for the dipping
Or real fancy tripping,
But just to get into their pants a lot.
--- David Miller
Occurred on the night when youny Suzy
Jumped up on the bar
And acted bizarre
When roaches crawled into her poosey.
--- Travis Brasell
Good lord why the fuss and the rants?
Why I let the girls
Check the whorls on my pearls,
While we whirled at the Junior High Dance.
--- John Miller
From pockets we'd altered with cuts,
And tease little Daisy,
"You think this feels crazy?
A little bit more, you'll feel nuts!"
--- John Miller
The tango's OK for romancing;
No further they go.
The lambada, you know,
Combines dancing, romancing, and lancing!
--- Peter Wilkins
Well, how 'bout we dance the lambada?
If naked you be,
Press your body 'gainst me;
Your gyrations will help me get harder.
--- Peter Wilkins
Young and sweet, only just seventeen.
She could dance, she could jive,
Had the time of her life,
When she did the lambada obscene.
--- Muriel
The Lambada did dance on the lawn;
After grinding his gun,
"Did you cum, now, my hon?"
"I don't think I'll know until dawn!"
--- Anon
And whisper this in your ear too:
Me gusta bailar,
No quiero parar,
'Til we've had ourselves a good screw.
--- Anon
That dance gets me hotta and hotta;
The beat, so romantic,
Makes us both feel so frantic --
Come dancing? Oooh, baby -- we gotta!
--- Anon
Open wide as she feels something rise;
Then she suddenly stops.
Slaps me hard on the chops;
"That's disgusting, you pervert," she cries.
--- Peter Wilkins
Expect something to rise in the pants.
If she's such a snob,
By rejecting your knob,
Come here and give me a chance.
--- Arden
While my hot bottom you're pattin'.
My leg wrapped 'round yours,
Dipping me to the floors,
Makes me dream of red sheets of satin.
--- Arden
Then you'll work me into a stew,
And a lather of lust,
Till I have to and must
Rip your clothes off and give you a screw.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who danced a peculiar limbo;
She flailed around
As she sank to the ground,
And rose with her arms set akimbo.
--- Rory Ewins Q
It's great when she dances the limbo.
Men stand at the front
For a view of her cunt,
As she slides 'neath the bar, legs akimbo.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Sixteen and she's never been kisstra,
'Til Tid came along,
Sat her down on his dong,
And fair ravished her sweet aspidistra.
--- Peter Wilkins
On a country dance floor, I am fearless.
Doin' two step or line,
Cheek to cheek in three time.
Don't matter when you love the one nearest.
--- Anon
Thought a new pair of shoes would enhance her.
He said, "Tell me, my sweet,
How big are your feet?"
"As big as your nerve!" was the answer.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
A spinster became quite upset
When her partner in dance
Burst the fly in his pants,
And his tool twirled a brisk pirouette.
--- Larry Wilde
While Morris men dance in the breeze.
Their ladies, bereft,
Call on me to heft
My tool into crannies that please.
--- Anon
The Morris men come out to play;
To music they dance
In a kind of a trance,
Waving ribbons and handkerchiefs gay.
--- Anon
With bells 'round their ankles enhancing
The overall sound,
As the cobbles they pound
Like demented old fairies a-prancing.
--- Anon
And dance around doing their jigs,
The women, with wit,
Work daily to fit
Pigs' bladders inside the damn pigs.
--- Anon
Had her yoni stuffed up with a mango.
This caused her to dance
In a bow-legged stance,
And aesthetically murder the tango.
--- Anon
Who stuffed guavas as fast as they'd bring 'em;
And while dancing fandangoes,
I murdered some mangoes
By lancing the lot with my lingam.
--- Hugh Clary
Asked a pretty, petite girl to dance.
When she saw his large mass,
She decided to pass.
With her, he did not have a fat chance.
--- Bob Aldrich
There will be no dancing past three.
They do all in their power
So that after that hour,
They don't have to dance vertically.
--- Archie
They don't allow dancing past one:
"A late night dance rave
Is for folks who crave
Sex and drugs -- that's way too much fun!"
--- Anon
Since its image requires no enhancing.
Pentecostal Sue Rupp
Never fucks standing up;
She'd prefer no one think she is dancing.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0606
This is file mqm
'Mongst the great Island dances are pearls
Performed by young men
As solos; and then
I don't really watch what HE twirls!
--- John Miller
But the cowboys all fade one by one.
They booze every chance
To get courage to dance --
But boozing is all they get done.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
Was dancing real close with a WAC.
She said, "I won't mention
That you're at attention,
But get that thing out of my crack!"
--- David Miller
And that's why I asked her to dance;
But holding her tightly
Caused damp and unsightly
Embarrassing stains in my pants.
--- Peter Wilkins
I like to do some things my way.
On Tuesdays I dance
In star-spangled pants,
Regardless of what people say.
--- Norm Storer
I'll just stop until I've recouped!"
Said boyfriend, "Keep dancing;
It's romance enhancing.
And it leaves all your parts so well grouped."
--- Observer
She does it -- but after a fashion.
And I've heard it said,
She's better in bed
With something to lower her gash on.
--- SFA
"May we soon dance again," she demurred.
I think I'll retreat
As you've ruined my feet;
The rest of my night is deferred.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Just one dance, short romance, nothing more.
From behind a dark shade
An assessment is made,
And a tango for two is the score.
--- Ravensegg
Once danced herself almost to jelly;
The doctors declared
That her life might be spared
If she stayed for a week at Pullheli.
--- Charles Coburn
Was dancin' a storm, very jerky.
Then they stopped the dance;
Asked him "What's in your pants?"
He sheepishly told them "A turkey!"
--- Anon
There was none that knew how to dance,
Like Vance the young gun,
Who liked to have fun,
By twirling and whirling his aunts.
--- Anon
Some of the us looked for romances.
If the girls wanted food,
That was not very good.
It depended upon our finances.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Anna De Smith's anthropology,
Spalding Gray's narcissism,
And preformatism
Ought to be published within an anthology.
--- J B Lawton
Did a project with M. Tarantino.
J. B. talked about lights
And the cast's and crew's plights.
We all said, "Aw, what does he know?"
--- Amy Taipale
Delsarte's can make people leery.
Can the work of Delsarte
These days play a part?
This is Joe Fahey's query.
--- Amy Taipale
Produced versions of the Second Dick.
The critics took a pass
On the one -- working class.
Their elitism just makes me sick.
--- Amy Taipale
Of an incensed insensitive censor,
Archer offered defense,
And put in his two cents,
But Nora's critics still managed to silence her.
--- Roger Freeman
To those who said she should kneel.
Your kids you could dandle,
Or else cause a scandal,
Ms. Siddons said "Come on! Get Real."
--- Amy Taipale
There's a lot Gray's trying to say.
For his therapy
He talks about "me";
Is his sanity starting to fray?
--- Amy Taipale
They were why Mrs. Fiske took the risk
Of making a wage
By rejoining the stage.
To their story we now say "Tsk! Tsk!"
--- Amy Taipale
Not one, but two Richards the Second.
The Old Vic's full of sentiment;
Workshop's an experiment,
With which the citics had not reckoned.
--- J B Lawton
As seen in the Miss Saigon case,
Was different from Suture
And may change in the future,
When an actor may wear his own face.
--- Amy Taipale
Who took literally whan anyone said.
This was highly impeding;
You'd yell cut!...He'd be bleeding.
He's in hospital now...Broke a leg.
--- Debbie Hoad
A study in rude repartee.
He couldn't be blunter,
Said, "I'm the affonter,
And you're the inept affrontee."
--- Anon
Found her back couldn't take it. "Gee whiz!
It hurts, Doc (sob-sob)"
"Get a standing up job."
"What!" she exclaimed, "Leave Show Biz?"
--- Arthur Deex P9709
Played Lancelot's role like a farmer.
He missed most of his cues,
And got panned in reviews;
Critics called him a big ham in armor.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9807
An affront to the thespian art,
Showed her boobs to the producer,
Who was quick to seduce her,
And then quick to award her a part.
--- William N Nesbit P9712
Muttered this to an actress on stage,
"When I'd fallen for you,
I had thought forty-two
Was meant for your breasts, not your age."
--- Isaac Asimov
Who are excellent players of plays,
And needless to mention, all
Most unconventional
Filling the world with amaze.
--- James Joyce P9007
Whose ways are conventional ways,
For I lay in my urine
While ladies so pure in
While petticoats ravished my gaze.
--- James Joyce P9007
"Speak up! You're as quiet as a mouse!"
He roared out with feeling
And shattered the ceiling --
The first time he'd brought down the house.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Was taken one night to a play.
He said, "I don't mind
If the accent's refined,
But I wish I could hear what they say."
--- Punch's Lim Book P9605
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