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Good ol' Popeye, the nautical man. Each time Bluto left from the shore, Good old Popeye, the nautical man, Feisty Popeye, the Alpha-Dog man, He popped open that can; down the hatch! Such a gourmet delight, a la carte, He's Popeye the bunghole man. I'm Popeye the businessman. To Olive Oyl Popeye was not So your brown haired and six foot three? I'm Popeye the poop-hole man. I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man; Though Popeye had 'muskles' quite round, Popeye the sailor man, Sweet Pea is a mystery lad, Olive Oyl has a hunger for guys; Olive Oyl decided to stuff I'm Popeye the sailor man. Popeye the sailor man, I'm Popeye the sailor man. If of cartoon lore you are wise, He's Randog the backdoor man; I'm Popeye the young rectum man. When Popeye, an impotent slob, I'm Popeye the sailor man; Though spinach makes Popeye's arms swell, That's Popeye, the wanker, my man; Old Frosty, he wants a good lay, Now, Frosty is known for his snow balls; Marshmellows, I thought at first glance Shouted Frosty the Snowman, "Hooray! Frosty loves when the temperature falls, Frosty the Snowman, a jolly old chap, A snowman named Frosty Van Pelt Confucious say: Frosty made of snow Frosty is known for his snow balls; There once was a snowman named Fred, There once was a snow-woman Brigid; It's been rumored this chilly activity That eager young actor, Dean Cain Superman's honest and moral; Superman in his earlier days, A well-known reporter, Clark Kent, Mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent Superman, who of course is a man, So Jim Olsen the young cub reporter, Said Superman quaffing a brew, Said Superman downing a scotch, There was a girl whose mouth was quite bent This lady, who called herself Lane, Before Miss Lane could eschew it, If Clark here ain't Mister Right, Since White was too flaccid to face her, He started to probe and to dabble; To make a short story longer, In the manner of Mr Lex Luthor, The lesson to each manly churl What if the superhero is lax, Proud Superman from the phone booth Now you've got to feel sorry for Lex. Clark Kent says "There isn't much news Jimmy Olsen says "How 'bout it chief? Perry White says to young Olsen, "Can it, Lois Lane says to Perry, "You tell 'em! Perry white says, "I'll raise your pay, Lois,
Gobbles green stuf right out of the can;
But Olive Oyl's silly
'Bout Big Bluto's willy;
For biceps she don't give a damn!
--- Anon
Popeye'd get so irritably sore.
What was the gist?
Why'd Popeye get pissed?
Bluto'd gone to Mt Olive once more.
--- Jon Gearhart
Gobbles green stuff right from the can;
But Olive Oyl's silly
'Bout big Bluto's willie;
For biceps she don't give a damn!
--- Allen Wolverton
Challenged Bluto without a game plan;
As the wiry old runt
Said: "Buzz off; she's my cunt!"
About then's when the shit hit the fan!
--- Allen Wolverton
But that spinach still made him no match;
Bluto, high on hashish,
Ground the runt into quiche;
A snack offering for sweet Olive's snatch!
--- Allen Wolverton
Drove poor Popeye from Olive Oyl's heart;
There in big Bluto's den;
She's content; now and then,
Olive raises her butt, cuts a fart!
--- Allen Wolverton
He likes when things go to plan.
He starts to gyrate,
When he's in the boys' gate.
He's Popeye the bunghole man. (toot toot)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I fuck all my fellow man.
If you've got the moolah,
I'll dirty my toolah,
For bunging's my option plan! (boot scoot)
--- Jim Weaver Collection
As faithful as is often thought.
One day he embarked,
To have sex with a shark,
Who blew him, and took all he'd got.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And have muscles that'd make Popeye pee,
As you'd last many rounds,
With your 210 pounds,
And Olive would be glad of your 'tree'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I like it right in the can.
When you get a stiffy,
I'm there in a jiffy.
I'm Popeye the poop-hole man.
--- Gearhart
I live in a caravan,
With a hole in the middle,
Where I do my piddle.
I'm Popeye the Sailor man!
--- Anon
I live in a garbage can.
I never go swimmin
With bow-legged women.
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
--- Anon
When it came to women, I found
He'd tastes RECTILINEAR,
Olive Oyl, thinnier,
"Queen of the Toothpicks, well crowned.
--- Chris Papa
He lived in a garbage can.
He turned on the gas
And blew up his ass,
And turbo-charged Olive Oyl's fan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
For no one is sure who's his dad.
Can Olive breast feed
When she's flat as a reed?
Is Popeye's reed ironclad?
--- Magyar
Tried Brutus and Popeye for size.
But she found them skimpy,
So she turned to Wimpy.
Who'd guess his thing won first prize?
--- John Miller
Wimpy's thing inside of her muff.
It stood at attention
To give her injection,
And she found it not to be rough.
--- Arden
A fortnight I spent on the can.
My trunk-butt all red,
I slept in the head.
Thank God Olive brought me a fan!
--- H Welchel
Lived on the Isle of McCan.
The girls were so dirty
They lifted his shirty
And played with his watering can.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This isn't real spinach, it's bran.
In each episode
I almost explode --
I fight it as hard as I can.
--- H Welchel
Try this mystery on for size.
When they ground their groins,
Was the fruit of Wimpy's loins,
Sweet Pea springing from Olive's thighs?
--- Hungarian
He loves rooting 'round in the can.
When he sticks it in,
He gets packing again
And his date then needs lots more of bran.
--- Jon Gearhart
I like my cock with a light tan.
Colored all over with poop
From a young boy's chute,
And then I lick them spic-n-span.
--- Saint
Decided that he'd do the job
And proceeded to make
A coed named Drake,
She said it was rough as a cob.
--- A N Wilkins P8409
While at sea, my matey is Dan.
But a nude Olive Oyl
Brings my lust to a boil,
So I'll have her whenever I can!
--- CM
It puffs up his percy as well.
This fiercesome erection
Passed Olive's inspection;
To Bluto she then bade farewell.
--- Randog
His crank is a thick as a can.
Why does he squint thus?
He's caught the strabismus,
While clenchin' and jerkin' his glan'.
--- H Welchel
Right here on this very fine day.
But that hot blow job
Cost Frosty his knob;
Oh damn! It just melted away!
--- Azul
An icicle down to his toe falls.
But in case he should party
With warm, loving Marty,
In minutes he'd prob'ly have no balls!
--- Anon
But then I was given the chance
To read the small tag
On the little clear bag.
It said: "Snowman Poop, from Frosty's pants"
--- Anon
I'm agog with excitement today!
And the reason, of course:
A reliable source
Said a snow-blower's headed this way!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
He doesn't like summer at all.
And he never gets laid
Because he's afraid
The rising heat melts his snow balls!
--- Kaylin
This is file lgl
Wearing his scarf and his gloves and his cap.
But you better look out;
He's been all about;
He's likely to give you a dose of the clap.
--- Jayne
Would sleep where and whenever he felt.
One evening he chose
To curl up on the stove
And it caused the poor moron to melt.
--- Limb Rick
He likes temperature 10 below.
When the sun comes out
You can here him shout,
"I'm melting, no, no, no, no, no!"
--- Anon
An icicle down to his toe falls,
But in case he should party
With warm loving Marty,
In minutes he'd probably have no balls.
--- John Miller
Who had a bad cold in the head.
He wished it was hot
And not snowing a lot,
But once it was hot, he was dead.
--- Cath
An ice-maiden, frosty and frigid.
She started to melt
And to drip as she felt
In her ice box, Fred's icicle rigid.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was a scene cut from Christmas nativity.
For that pair made of snow
Almost did make the show,
But young Jesus despised promiscuity.
--- Cath
Worked too hard, and was feeling the strain.
When a friend said, "Lay Low,"
He replied "Well, you know,
Teri Hatcher's the Lois I've lain."
--- Larry Hollister
He'll save lives or settle a quarrel.
When he's shot, never bleeding,
It must be the breeding,
So lets give the credit to Jor-el
--- Larry Hollister
Before heroes had become the craze,
When his mother said, "Oy,
A profession, my boy,"
Got his start doing dental X-rays.
--- Arthur Deex P9605a
Had a simpering, mild-mannered bent.
But he grabbed Lois Lane
And then made it quite plain
What his cognomen, Superman, meant.
--- Isaac Asimov A
Showed a friend how a hero's pose went:
So here's the trick, Jimbo:
The stance is akimbo,
With hands on hips, so, and arms bent.
--- Rory Ewins Q
Wonderwoman espied in a van,
With her legs opened wide,
So he stuck his inside,
Which surprised the invisible man.
--- Anon
Having noticed Miss Lane was a sporter,
Dragged her into the closet,
Made a big sperm deposit,
And when finished he tipped her the quarter.
--- Anon
To Lois, "I'm staring at you."
Said Ms Lane, "Must you peer
At my front and my rear?"
"Lead knickers," he said, "I can't do."
--- Arthur Deex P0104
And adjusting his vision a notch,
"My attention, my dear,
Is on your brassiere -
Since your lead skivvies obscure your crotch."
--- Arthur Deex P0104
Out of shape by a fellow named Kent.
He was a shy reporter,
Whose Clark Bar got shorter
As he cried out, "I simply can't vent!"
--- Bribelge
Cried "Superman, oh please refrain!"
But Mister Jim Olsen
Chugged down a Molson,
And said, "Let him do it again!"
--- Bribelge
Mr Kent continued to do it.
He hummed as he plumbed,
But nobody comed.
Said Lois, "Hey Super, you blew it."
--- Bribelge
He's tried through the day and the night.
I'll find a sexual predator,
A prez or a senator,
Or maybe my editor, White.
--- Bribelge
He humbly decided to grace her
With his editor's pencil
(The tip was prehensile),
And fit with a jumbo eraser.
--- Bribelge
He played with her crotch-hairs like Scrabble.
Then as Jimmy was hopin',
She said, "Back lane is open,
For a carousing young rouser to rabble."
--- Bribelge
The eraser got caught in her thonger.
When Jim came to play,
He rubbed the wrong way,
And gradually lost his ding-donger.
--- Bribelge
I promise to tell the whole truth or
If I must lie,
At least I will try,
To be much couther than youth are.
--- Bribelge
That wants to take Superman's girl?
If Lois Lane beckons,
Take no sloppy seconds
Or you'll live in a penis-less world.
--- Bribelge
In paying his damn income tax.
The guy in grey stubble
Is in financial trouble,
But we praise him in paraffin wax. (Toussad's)
--- Harihari Subramanian
Raced skyward enroute to Duluth.
In a moment of jest
He mooned the Mid-West.
Kinky, and somewhat uncouth.
--- Martin Wellborn P8407
With no powers or special effects,
Every dastardly plan
From this poor crooked man,
Is a brainstorm that Superman wrecks.
--- Larry Hollister
Since the crooks have been stopped in their shoes.
All this laying aroun'
Is getting me down,
And boy, could I sure use some cooze!"
--- Anon
I've been thinkin' 'bout raisin' a beef.
I know I'm just a rookie,
But I could use some nookie;
This hard-on of mine needs relief!"
--- Anon
If you like working here at the planet.
When I ask for the wit
Of some-snot nosed young shit,
I'll check my brain in. They can scan it!"
--- Anon
Their nuts are so full, I can smell 'em!
They've been trying to spear me,
But I won't let 'em near me!
You've got to do something to quell 'em!"
--- Anon
If you'll lift up your skirt there and show us
That lovely pink snatch
With the small furry patch;
When you get us all hard, you can blow us."
--- Anon
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