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Says Clark "That's a great idea, Perry. Lois lane said "Hey, Clark fucking Kent! Said Clark "Allow me to appeal," Well it didn't take long for Miss Lane Now we know what made him so "Super" -- As a kid, when we rode on the bus, Superman's moves are the slowest Though he's careful with money that's spent, Maybe Merry and Pippin are cuter, Down with Gandalf, the wizard of Shoreditch! Once during his long wandering, An Ent-wife of five thousand years This tale is, (once I'm in the groove,) This owl, after pussy, once sailed "I'm out in the back of beyond!" The blonde, whose bra top was well filled-o, "It glowed fluorescent, was long, Said Bunter, his voice going mumbly, She asked "Can you match dildo Hobbit?" "The old boss, the Lord of the Rongs, So blondie then grabs Bunter's pobble, Just then from the edge of the channel, To cut then a long story short, The moral: If you're out a-cruising, The hero, a small furry thing, I really like "Lord of the Rings." There once was a spammer from Porlock, The title's a bore, that's the thing; A "Good Time" to Barney and Fred, Fred, I once thought you were built You have to give Freddie his due, One night he gave Wilma a shock Said Betty: "Your tongue, Barney Rubble, When it comes to the programs I've cursed, "Where's his peepee?" she wondered dismayed, Barney, who TV created, T-rex isn't quite the right species Barney, purple master of tedium, I think that I'd like Barney more Dick Armee named Barney a fag; On Sesame Street, it was late, A Japanese girl in a sweat shirt (Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street, a childrens program)
Big Bird was playing with Snuffy... Jim Henson was caught in a flubber; When Porky Pig went on a date, The roadrunner had sex on his mind Well, Sadie was surely no crone, A South Park kid named Kyle. There was a young stripper named Jenny. Remeber the girl named Miss Muffet Miss Muffet was once chased away Her whereabouts is very puzzling, Her parents, of course, are concerned, Oh look, there she is, fast asleep, Whatever is wrong with Miss Muffet You remember that Little Miss Muffet, A lady you've heard of, Miss Muffet, Miss Muffit and Sadaam one day There was an old camper named Muffet, Little Miss Muffet sat of a tuffet, Miss Muffet loved all of her sheep While eating her curds and her whey, Miss Muffet's not happy today, There was a young person named Muffet, The inept young lass, Miss Muffet There was a young maiden named Muffett Here's the true tale of Little Miss Muffet:
Let's see if she still has her cherry.
Her hymen, it's possible,
Has remained uncrossable,
As for likely though, I'd say not very."
--- Anon
Why don't you, Jim and Perry get bent.
A kiss 'tween my cheeks
Is all you get, geeks.
It's for Superman, this pussy's meant!"
--- Anon
Then he whipped out his pecker of steel.
Perry White gave a shout;
Jimmy Olsen passed out;
And all Lois could do was to squeal.
--- Anon
To give in and relieve all their pain.
But she saved her best hole
For the old super pole;
Looks like Supermans done it again!
--- Anon
Ol' Clark Kent made love like a trooper!
He drove Lois Lane
Damn nearly insane --
Left her in a love-sated stupor.......
--- Anon
Deep questions we'd often discuss:
"Would it come off divine,
Or just blow out her spine,
If Superman did it with Lois?"
--- John Miller 0085 a
When it comes to seducing Miss Lois.
Would this work? Well it might,
"How about my crypt tonight?"
The reply "yes" would be apropo-est.
--- Larry Hollister
Turns out Supermman can't pay the rent.
Now the poor Man of Steel
Can't afford a square meal,
On the salary of lowly Clark Kent.
--- Larry Hollister
And it's obvious Gandalf's astuter,
But the guy on the quest
Is the one I like best.
I'm becoming a real frodo-Rooter.
--- Larry Hollister
He gives gals who refuse him the itch;
And he works his low spells
On sex-shy young belles--
He is really a son of a bitch!
--- G1955
A hobbit found a magic ring.
An object quite rare
And a pleasure to wear;
Who knew what great woe it would bring.
--- Phil T
Was enthralled by a Hobbit named Piers.
This halfling, 'tis said,
Would shove in his head,
And vomit while wiggling his ears.
--- G2652
'Bout Bunter, so foreigners who've
Not heard of this lad --
Fat, cowardly, bad --
He's known as the Owl of [the] Remove.
--- Anon
To sea, but the engine soon failed.
He drifted ashore
"Oh cripes, crikey, lor',
I'm lost, cast away," the fool wailed.
--- Anon
But there on the beach stood a blonde.
He gave her a smile:
"Hi, is this the Isle
Of Virgins? I've a throb in my wand."
--- Anon
Said " "No kid, until he was killed-o,
'Twas owned by old Tolkien,
Whose penis was brolkien,
Who made me a fine 'lectric dildo.
--- Anon
As thick as the one on King Kong,
And looking quite nasal,
Was named by friend Hazel,
The Nose With The Luminous Dong."
--- Anon
"I reckon you must be a Jumbly,
So take off your kit,
And let's have a bit
Of sexual rumbly-tumbly.
--- Anon
He stripped."What's your name? Mr Bobbit?
But that inch or two
Will just have to do,
My dildo's gone, Hazel did rob it."
--- Anon
Made me a mechanical dong.
It's called Dildo Shaggins,
But the battery's flagging,
And I need me a man with a shlong."
--- Anon
But getting it in gives her trobble;
Gives up, starts a-whining:
"Let's try sixty-nining."
And both start to have a good gobble.
--- Anon
Comes Hazel, who's fucking a spaniel,
Up to them she's walkien,
And thus-wise is tolkien:
"This dog'll do more than a man'll."
--- Anon
With these two our Bunter has sport.
They fair shag him out,
But he grows far less stout,
And's glad that he came to this port.
--- Anon
Don't practice that dumb self-abusing;
You'll always find totty
When out on your yachty,
And that stuff you'll find more amusing.
--- Anon
On his quest for a magical ring,
Joined the forces of Right
To put Evil to flight.
Side effect: The Return of the King.
--- Arthur Deex P8409
In spite of the orcs, trolls, and things
That sneaked up in the dark,
Beyond Gandalf's wand's spark.
WOW! Guess what the next episode brings!
--- Willis Baddel
A tenth-level internet warlock,
who scorning repentence,
Was served with a sentence
So long, he was raped by a Morlock.
--- Corklebath
They need one with a little more zing.
"Look who's Tolkein" has worth;
"Battlefield Middle Earth"?
But I'm partial to "Dude, Where's My Ring?"
--- Larry Hollister
Was to have Dino give 'em both head.
And to continue the revels,
Bugger Bam Bam and Pebbles,
While Wilma sucked Betty in bed!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Like a stegosaur. Now though you wilt,
To raise you's much trouble;
I'll see Barney Rubble;
He'll plunge his in up to the hilt.
--- Frank Sfa
For each time she gives him a screw,
The neighbors would know
Because he would crow,
That crappy YABBA-DABBA-DOO.
--- Frank Sfa
And shattered his famous bed rock.
To get out of trouble
He called Barney Rubble,
To finish the job with his cock.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Down there is so nice, but my nub'll
Get sore from your play, sir,
Invent please, the razor,
And stop shredding me with your stubble."
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file lfl
"Barney" certainly ranks as the worst.
Still, the dork in the suit
Must have mountains of loot.
I just wish I had thought of it first!
--- Larry Hollister
Dressing Barney to take to first grade.
I explained, "He lookes neater
Without any peter."
She replied, "Well then how's he get laid?"
--- John Miller 0168
Has urges which cannot be sated.
His triceratops friend
Has no hole in her end,
Nor does he, the show is G-rated.
--- Actaeon
For this creature my daughter of three sees.
Allosaurus? Not quite,
Crapodactyl sounds right,
'Cause his show smells distinctly like feces.
--- Larry Hollister
Drives sane adults to delirium.
Spouting multi-cultural drivel,
He makes our brains shrivel,
With messages of oneness ad nauseum.
--- Anon
If he'd act like a real carnivore.
Munching children with relish,
On a rampage so hellish,
It's something they'd call in the army for.
--- Larry Hollister A
As smooth as saluting the flag.
Whether slip or design,
It was less than benign,
And suggested his bent as a wag.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Burt and Ernie were concluding their date,
When Bert's hot erection,
Spewed the Paper Clip Collection,
Which made Ernie fuckin' irate!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Tripped over her feet when she met Bert.
Ernie then chose to say
"What a wonderful day.
I'm so glad that she didn't get hurt."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Where his hairs are shorter and fluffy...
Strokin' with a yellow feather
Where ass comes together;
Till his dick, like his trunk, is quite puffy.
--- John Costaine T9710
This pig he wanted to bugger.
So he snuck out at night,
But it didn't feel right.
No one likes humping foam rubber.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He ever so carefully ate
What he was presented,
And no one resented
That Porky then licked the whole plate.
--- Anon
And soon a cute bird he did find.
He'd just gone "Beep beep!"
And gotten in deep,
When Wile E. came up from behind.
--- Actaeon
So when Homer comes in with a bone,
She says "Hi there, fella,
This thing I won't sell ya,
But I'm glad to be Homer loan."
--- Anon
His fucked up antics make you smile.
If he only knew
Why the creator made him a Jew,
Maybe he wouldn't be vile.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And of men she did have very many.
Her tits tumbled out
And then she did shout:
"Oh my God! They have just killed Kenny!"
--- Phil T
Who sat her ass down on a tuffet
And that creepy old spider,
He now flies a fighter,
And today blew Miss Muffet away!
--- Anon
By a spider who moved in to stay.
But where did she go,
Does anyone know?;
And where is Miss Muffet today?
--- Travis Brasell
And plentiful rumors are buzzling
Throughout the dominion;
So what's your opinion;
Do you have some notions you're nuzzling?
--- Travis Brasell
And they for Miss Muffet have yearned
For her to this day,
To finish her whey
And curds, so please tell what you've learned.
--- Travis Brasell
Down among our old Tiddy's sheep.
If you don't wake her,
I guess he will take her
Along with her friend wee Bo Peep
--- Tony Burrell
We cure with a poke up her tuffet;
But when she's asleep
We go after Bo Peep,
And if she's not around we just rough it.
--- Peter Wilkins
The one with the tits and the tuffet?
I gave her my lar-
Gest Havana cigar;
She said, "Thanks", and proceeded to stuff it.
--- Sansuesi
Sat down, all prepared, on a tuffet.
"If a big spider dares
To attack unawares,"
She announced, "I'll shout 'Oy' and then cuff it."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Compared notes and this they did say:
"I know what you mean...
It's just too obscene!
To have all those Kurds in the way!"
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who had to make do with a tuffet;
Groused she, "I'm a fool
To squat on this stool:
I like to be comfy, not rough it!"
--- Armand E Singer 979
Knickers all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider
That sat down beside her,
'Twas Little Boy Blue with a horn.
--- Geoff Tring
And rams were the ones she would keep.
If they were well hung,
She'd tickle their bung...
Oh Hell - that was little Bo-Peep.
--- Archie
Miss Muffett was once forced to weigh
The impact of a spider
Who had sat down beside her
To frighten her off on her way.
--- Arthur Deex P9112
As, whilst eating her curds and her whey,
There came down a spider
That soon got inside her,
And discovered vaginal decay!
--- Biro
Who sat spooning whey on a tuffet,
When a hairy arachnid,
In terms coarse and hackneyed,
Succinctly enjoined her to stuff it.
--- Anon
Had further bad luck with her tuffet;
Some used-tuffet dealers
Decided to steal hers,
And now she must rent one or rough it.
--- Dean Walley P9007
Who sat on a dildoform tuffett.
Along came a spider
Who offered to ride her,
But she sneered at the size of his stuffett.
--- G1289
He came to the city to "tough it."
When an eight-legged spider
Took a bar-stool beside her,
She told the web-spinner, "Go stuff it!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8701
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